A question about compliments

themostgianthorse · 2021-03-29T14:10:55+00:00

The general rule should be give compliments if you want to and if they are deserved.

If you are giving compliments that are insincere or if you feel pressured to do so, you likely have a covert contract and are approval seeking.

If you want to give compliments, but do not because you think it will make you less aLpHa, you are being TRP autistic.

jjj2576 · 2021-03-29T14:19:01+00:00

You are being daft.

Give compliments when you mean them and when someone deserves them.

My LTR was rocking some sexy 80s outfit, so I complimented it.

What RP Books have you done so far? This feels like a Pookless question.

crew6dawg0 · 2021-03-29T14:27:35+00:00

There's nothing wrong with complimenting a LTR, or even a plate if she deserves it. A LTR will require compliments and reassurance, so never complimenting is a bad thing. Making a person feel important isn't a bad thing either, people want to be around others who make them feel important and useful. Just make sure you dont go overboard and get them an inflated ego.

heathrowaway678 · 2021-03-29T14:40:02+00:00

Depends on what you want. If you just want to have sex for a few times, then I can see how not giving compliments can work. If you want to plate or even LTR a girl, then you need to provide some level of comfort.

You can phrase your compliments as "I like your kindness/cooking butt" rather than "you are kind/good at cooking/having a nice butt"

HarryDeBruyne · 2021-03-29T14:45:53+00:00

Great question. It seems like you want to reward her, so let's help you do that.

-Background: Why many dudes kill their chances wth compliments:

Relationships and plates stay spinning when there's a healthy tension between 1) Comfort and 2) Tension/Fear/Dread. Too much of either, and the situation will crumble. Compliments have a tendency to make a woman feel too comfortable in a situation. Similarly, never complimenting her will make her feel unappreciated/unloved.

As awful as it may sound to new RPers, part of her day must be spent wondering how the f*** she landed you. Too many compliments or compliments delivered incorrectly will break this spell. Not enough, and she'll fall into the arms of Mark at work.

Keys to Compliments:

Don't telegraph it. If it seems contrived, like you're complimenting her to achieve Outcome X, it will come across as obvious and repulsive. If the compliment appears spontaneous and accidental, it's more likely to be taken the right way. For example, if you're walking across the kitchen to get to the fridge and you smack her ass and day: "That dress fucking works." that will hardly ever go down wrong.
Use them sparingly. Intermittent reinforcement. Randomly. Unexpectedly. Sparingly. Think of giving your child a huge surprise 1-2 times a month when they least expect it. It's going to mean more and they will go crazy trying to earn them.This is arguably the most important point.\***\**
Connect them to behaviors you want. If consideration is something you value, then it's good to reward her for that and let her know.
Delivery: Amused Mastery. Master/Student or Father/Child energy. Playful. Lighthearted. Natural. Joyful. In the heat of the moment.
Delivery: Powerful/Deep. Every so often you can reserve tactical nukes, where you might take her by the chin, stare deep into her eyes and tell her something you really feel about her: "You're pretty fuckin' special sometimes." The way you avoid generating too much comfort with these types of compliments is to deliver them with dominance/tension. You might give her a powerful compliment and then immediately tie it to dominant sex or taking her on the spot.
Turn Compliments into a Theatrical Moment: stop what you were doing and brush her hair out of her eyes, get her to laugh, put your hands all over her body, give her a present...whatever. Make the act of receiving a compliment from you an absolute NEXT LEVEL™ experience. Again, too contrived feels forced and fake, but natural and spontaneous will absolutely melt her.
Practice, practice, practice: Some guys will see all of this as becoming a "tryhard" - ie. "I should just be able to wing it in the moment." This is childish. As Mystery would say, the key to mastering Venusian Arts is preparation. You should have delivered your line and practiced making it appear natural 50-100 times to yourself before trying it with her. It's only natural once you've internalized it with practice and mastery. Game is called Game for a reason - it's a skill that you must learn. Special forces don't just wing it. They train 24/7/365.

ripandtearuntil · 2021-03-29T16:26:51+00:00

You should only give compliments after they do something you desire (i.e. suck your dick).

This is operant conditioning. It's the same way you train a dog.

KirthWGersen · 2021-03-29T14:19:09+00:00

Personally, I don't give general compliments: they are just valueless flattery. They boost self-esteem without actually being based on anything concrete and so simply inflate a person's ego.

However, I do give specific compliments when there is behaviour I want to encourage: it was really nice when you did x, I was very impressed when you did y, the way you responded to z situation was amazing.

So, not "She is such an amazing cook" but "She makes an amazing chicken pie".

Not "You are so amazing in bed" but "I love the way you suck my cock like that".

Not "You are so beautiful" but "Wow, you look amazing tonight" (when she has made an effort to doll herself up).

This is also flattery, but the kind that makes people feel they want to repeat specific kinds of behaviour. It makes the person feel, "He is proud of me, I am proud of me, and I want to be more and more like that." It reinforces good behaviour and doesn't sound like empty flattery because it is specific and concrete.

StunningCharisma · 2021-03-29T16:20:58+00:00

This is the problem of most autists (i am using the term autist to adress actual autists)
They fall into one extreme of being a nice guy or a total asshole
They have to learn from experience to find the middle ground,
Put compliments if you actually legitametely feel like it, people smell fake flattery before you even say it.

2021-03-29T18:56:42+00:00

Give them, don't give them. How difficult does it have to be?

Should mommy wipe your ass, too?

ItWasAlwaysOver · 2021-03-30T00:32:22+00:00

in general don't complement women. think about all the compliments they already get from men all the time, especially online.

Title	A question about compliments
Author	thestudant
Upvotes	4
Comments	13
Date	March 29, 2021 1:55 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/mfq39c/a_question_about_compliments/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/a-question-about-compliments.779084 https://theredarchive.com/post/779084

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