“I had a little devil now you have to have one” is becoming very frequent with our extended family.

I’m pretty sure all the females in her family (cousins, sister-in-laws, mothers, aunts, etc.) sparked this in her mind over the holidays this past month or so. All of them are either having kids or constantly asking us when we are ‘”having one,” my family is just as guilty but to a lesser extent.

Some details…

  • Up until recently, my wife hasn’t really shown much interest in having kids, maybe a comment here and there over the years but she hasn’t really shown any real desire for it.

  • I don’t like kids and I never really have, maybe if they were my own I would, but I honestly don’t know.

  • I don’t think she would be a good mother. I think we are both much too self-absorbed to bring a child into the picture.

“Look at this baby we made… welp here you go”

  • I don’t think she understands what all goes into raising a kid. I get the impression that if she popped a kid out she would just drop it at my feet for me to do all the work.

  • I’m not sexually satisfied with our relationship, although it isn’t bad, it isn’t where I need it to be (this is a whole other topic). Having a kid would make our sex life 10x worse regardless of what she may say. A kid would make it much harder to leave if it ever came to that.

To put our relationship in other terms…

We are both sitting on the living room couch, she’s getting cozier, but I’m looking at the exit door at end of a very long hallway, questioning if I should get up.

I know my wife, we’ve known each other our whole lives, and we aren't ready for something like this. This subject isn’t going to just go away though; I really don’t know how to approach this impending conversation with her without it blowing up.

Thoughts?