Too much confidence?

nittutt · 2013-01-15T15:40:42+00:00

Here's some advice I heard a while back regarding confidence: "Cockiness is saying you're good at something, confidence is knowing it. Know the difference, and you're golden, OP.

puaCurveBall · 2013-01-15T20:06:16+00:00

Confidence != Ego.

An alpha doesn't have to brag, because he knows he is at the top.

Only guys who feel like they have something to prove need to pump themselves up or present themselves as so great.

Imagine a different interaction:

Them: Who is best looking guy here?
You: Smile, like you know a joke they don't, and being to look people over
You: After they are waiting for you to speak, "The second best guy is over there in the blue shirt"
Them: Wait, then who is first?
You: Just grin at them until they get it :)

You can hold the same attitude without shoving it down their throats by saying "Oh its me, I'm the best".

The problem isn't your confidence, but how eager you are to show it off.

el_zero123 · 2013-01-15T15:28:18+00:00

Your example there I hate when people do that. A person who I unfortunately have to associate does this, always bigs himself up and everyone hates that and hates him. Even though he says it, supposedly, in a joking way.

Being confident does not mean complimenting yourself, you don't need compliments, what I think of the person in my example who does this to himself is that he has an actual low self esteem (used to be good friends and he told me) and he need to compliment himself to make him feel better, even though it is "jokingly". Just seems like he needs that validation, it makes others feel awkward.

Be happy with yourself, and be confident with who you are as a human, don't be the guy that people awkwardly laugh with when he tries looking impressive.

ALF1E · 2013-01-15T17:12:07+00:00

Find an equilibrium. Stick with it.

OnlyNorton · 2013-01-15T18:25:21+00:00

The difference is if you are truly a confident person there is no need to play yourself up in front of everyone. This is a form of seeking validation. With true confidence you're so content and happy with your life that their opinion of you is trivial because you're in love with who you are and thats what matters.

narcissistic889 · 2013-01-16T23:23:21+00:00

Everyone likes a good narcissist, you have to believe what you say and say it charmingingly. Look at Arnold in pumping iron, he's a text book narcissist who braggs and showboats, but everyone loves him. It all depends where its coming from. People will accept almost anything you say if you have enough value, so don't worry about it and try to keep narcissistic frame of celebrate me with me.

lurk-moar · 2013-01-15T16:11:13+00:00

What you have my friend is false confidence.

itsmevichet · 2013-01-15T18:09:16+00:00

You're never over-confident if you have enough relevant skill.

therhymenoreason · 2013-01-15T17:16:17+00:00

Especially when it comes to females, they don't want to feel like they're hanging around someone who would normally be deemed a "tool". I think Specialk1324 had it right when confidence is knowing you're something without the need to say it. I have dated both cocky and confident guys and the ones that are confident, it's just a presence that they bring. They are really comfortable with themselves but they don't need to tell other people. You have to just accept yourself the way you are and realize that more or less you're not really going to change and people will either accept you for that or choose not to. And if you have that attitude, trust me you will gain super confidence.

Title	Too much confidence?
Author	kingcal
Upvotes	14
Comments	16
Date	January 15, 2013 3:21 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/16mcss/too_much_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/too-much-confidence.1345873 https://theredarchive.com/post/1345873

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