I'm starting to think that there's no money in the world (well, I don't have a lot of money so i couldn't be sure about this one) gym, better dessing that is going to make me be at least a little bit better when meeting woman. I even consider myself to already have a nice body (so I've been told by the girls I've been with, but that is not a warranty o anything) and have an average face i guess (well, who doesn't think that his face may be just fine?)

There are plenty of times I wish I was overweighted, or skinny AF, or have anything at all that can be changed with consistency. I just feel like, personality-wise, there's no much I can do. I cannot explain how much I envy, perhaps not the better looking guys, but their attiude, charisma or speed to say things, the ability to have a nice and interesting conversation. Every time I talk to someone I feel they are getting bored, or not being "sparkled" enought by what I say or where I drive the conversation (if I am even able to do so).

Sometimes I think I'm kind of nerd - but when I get to a group with nerd people, I can only notice that I'm not like them at all - there's so much thinking on those groups that I can't even be at the level of their knees when it comes to their conversations. Then I say "well, perhaps Im just... normal?" then I go to "normal" group and I feel extremely out of place, like a nerd.

Is there anybody else in my shoes, or at least, that once were on them? as a 30 yo, the same I've been thinking about since I've realized this is the way I was when I was 8 or 9, feel like there's nothing I can do about this and it's really affecting me.

I'm going through therapy, but they are not magicians. The advice is to accept myself as I am. But being this way is affecting my ability to make friends, to find someone who I love and loves me back, even with ONS and my job. I'm feeling in a huge dispair