How to start from nothing?

notthatguy1995 · 2016-05-24T02:03:07+00:00

What is your weekly routine? If you dont have one, you need to get one.

Are there any coffee shops by you? Find a local coffee shop that has a good vibe, and try to go there everyday, to the point where you start to get to know the baristas. Try making casual conversation with them. You should be trying to start conversations at every opportunity.

Go to the local library and ask the librarian for a book suggestion with a female protagonist. This will enable you to have a nice conversation and also help alleviate your misogyny.

TRP_Fraternity · 2016-05-24T02:06:55+00:00

Get on tinder and start figuring it out. If you don't have good pictures use this time to get good ones.

Big_TX · 2016-05-24T02:30:09+00:00

Congrats on making a big step!

Join some clubs. Talk to the therapists. They are probably free. If you can go to campus and down town you are golden!

recyclablebanthas · 2016-05-24T05:28:37+00:00

I'm 23, have no friends, no girlfriend (ever), kissless virgin, etc...

You're young.

I think my upbringing fucked me up a lot psychologically, now I'm trying to fix myself and make up for lost time.

What is it about your childhood that fucked you up, as you put it?

I know this sub is primarily intended for people who already have lives and just want to get more poon,

Stop assuming. Most of the guys here are struggling with the very issues you've brought up.

but I believe my loneliness stems primarily from my lack of ever really having an emotional connection with anyone, especially in an intimate way with the opposite sex.

So what's your concept of how a conversation goes? What does a successful conversation look like to you?

The problems are: I am pretty much too old to join a frat or something (clubs are still an option, although they're much less popular at this school),

Frats are nowhere near required.

Now if you had some way to get into partner dancing, THAT would be an advantage.

I'm a recovering nice guy, am fairly misogynistic at this point since every girl by this age has been a slut (I think the only way for me to cope with this is to become a man-slut myself),

I'd wager that this is about anger. Anger that you're a virgin. Anger that you feel like you are lonely while other people get to date. Anger at women who choose not to be with you.

Perhaps even anger at the idea that no one waited for you when it came to sex and seemingly everyone you could date will have had sex before you even meet them.

So of course, the thing to do is outdo all the others having sex. Be a "slut." Etc.

If I'm even half right here, then what you're feeling is natural. You have a right to tour feelings. Just realize that, to the extent that those feelings are negatively directed towards people around you, they will hurt your chances to get anywhere in dating.

FastFlow3 · 2016-05-24T05:54:42+00:00

Some advice the great Michael Jordan gave. He said you have to break your goals into smaller, attainable ones. For example he said if your goal is be a doctor, you gotta have smaller goals or else you won't have the necessary confidence. A smaller goal he gave an example was getting an A in biology in order to advance this process of being a doctor. Progress is made towards becoming a doctor, and confidence is grown.

Apply this to your situation. First, you need an end goal. Do you want a girlfriend, a bunch of fwbs, or what? Then break it down into smaller goals. Pick something that makes you is mildly uncomfortable and make it your goal until it becomes easy. For example, make it a goal to initiate conversation everyday with 1 girl you find attractive. Next, bump it up to asking 1 girl a week for her number and just keep going one step further. Eventually, you'll hit your end goal.

opelmanz · 2016-05-25T00:18:28+00:00

Sounds like you're trying to break out of your shell and discover who you really are on the inside (not who you have been).

Developing a social life from nothing is no small feat, but it is certainly possible. I recommend two things. 1) Do as much group stuff as you can. Makes meeting new people super easy and the social proof from being at a party (vs some random guy) is huge.

2)Ask girls out. No better way to improve your life and happiness than to start dating. Some guys might say resolve your inner game issues prior, but I feel this is a chicken/egg thing. I think you would be happier going on a few dates, no matter how you expect them to go.

Lastly, just try to live a better life. Eat better. Exercise more. Read more. Get out of the house more (not saying you don't). Live a great life that gives you joy and more joy (in the form of females) will naturally gravitate towards you. When this happens you need to seize the opportunities by asking girls out.

Good luck brother. I don't see anything in your post beyond repair. You sound like you're on your way to making changes that will provide lasting results.

SecondVariety13 · 2016-05-24T04:08:55+00:00

Well hey at least you've got a sense of humor, that's a big plus. My advice to you would be to establish some concrete goals. What do you really want out of this last year? "Get laid", that's really vague. Sure that's your ultimate goal but I'd break it down into smaller steps that you can actually track. Example "talk to 3 new girls a week". Just come up with something that keeps you accountable of your efforts. Because you can have the goal of wanting to get laid and still do literally nothing about it but read forum advice.

Someone else mentioned tinder. Eh it's an all right idea but don't let it replace in-person interaction. Use it at night while laying in bed or something and like every girl. Trust me. Even if you're not attracted use it to improve text game. Find out what gets responses. Try to set up dates (with the ones you're actually attracted to). Just be prepared for lots of flakes, ghosting, one word responses ect.

Lastly, take fucking chances. I mean it. Sometimes you have to do the opposite of what feels natural to you. Fortune favors the bold.

CaffineIsLove · 2016-05-24T03:13:00+00:00

Get some good ol' free campus counseling. It will help you fix your inner self and then move forward from there

2016-05-24T06:15:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ThrowawayPUA · 2016-05-24T03:35:29+00:00

Wherever you go, there you are. Moving will merely relocate your problems. It's a decent first step, but putting yourself in a new environment won't change your problems, it could even reinforce them unless you take action. You will have to deal with your problems directly.

Title	How to start from nothing?
Author	Hawk6669
Upvotes	9
Comments	21
Date	May 24, 2016 1:44 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4krh3p/how_to_start_from_nothing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-start-from-nothing.1407206 https://theredarchive.com/post/1407206

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