experiment with indirect-direct?

IWriteForGroupies · 2016-10-03T14:40:28+00:00

Indirect and direct approaches are situational things. You have to be able to decide which one to use. The important thing is how you act after the approach. Often failure can be attributed to the person failing to keep or gain interest after the approach.

I think partly because they want to know WHY you are talking to them.

If this is the reason you think it is, then give them the reason.

Worth playing with?

Everything is worth it. Experiment and learn.

rmbarnes · 2016-10-03T16:33:43+00:00

IMO the best way is to be slightly vague with the opener, like, I noticed your big eyes and thought you looked like a cute little rabbit. It sounds like your probably chatting her up, but it still retains intrigue unlike something generic and outright complimentary, "You like super cute". If you can do this whilst sub communicating sexual intent this would work well. Women love when you can make your feelings known without explicitly stating them. They're less likely to reject things that are sub communicated then overtly stated.

Overnight_Delivery · 2016-10-03T18:46:04+00:00

The reason they want to know why is because your conversation / effort is saying one thing but your body language / emotion / amount of yourself you are putting in to it / on the line is different.

recyclablebanthas · 2016-10-03T19:04:34+00:00

Often I will approach a girl, open (some sort of situational opener or something

Like commenting about something going on right then?

make the usual small talk (questions about them/assumptions about them) as taught,

Can you give an example what you mean by a "situational oppener," along with what you mean by "assumptions" or the kinds of "questions" you follow your opener with?

and then a few minutes later they tell me it was nice meeting me and leave.

Because what you've supplied is literally NOT enough to tell why this is happening.

I've gamed UK girls and they're like anyone else. They want to meet a guy if they're single. They usually want sex, like anyone else.

Simply chalking it up to it being UK girls, is not enough. Of course there can be some resistance to meeting new guys, but ultimately, if they're single, they're going to warm up sooner or later. Otherwise no one would be getting laid in the UK and the birth rate would be lower than Japan's.

I'm thinking about experimenting with throwing in some sort of statement of intent as soon as I realise that the girl is close to walking away as the conversation hasn't gone anywhere, and she hasn't asked me any questions.

Look. Think of it this way. If YOU have interest, does a girl need to justify talking to you? No.

So if she's going to walk, telling her why you're talking to her isn't going to make a bit of difference. The issue isn't that she doesn't know why you're talking to her. Any idiot is going to know why a guy is walking up to her and talking to her.

So if I say ''I only came over because I thought you were'' hot, it might buy me a 'second crack at the whip' as it were?

(although I also feel as though it gives away any 'power' and mystery that I might have had with being 'indirect'?~)

Opening situationally isn't "indirect." I guess telling someone why you think you're talking to them might be direct, though. Just not necessary.

Anyway, "power" is just different between "indirect" as practiced by Mystery and "direct." And having "mystery" isn't required.

When I try to listen in on random guys in UK bars approaching girls.....

So, something these guys are doing isn't working. Keep in mind, a LOT of guys have little to no clue how to approach women they don't know.

These approaches you've mentioned are kind of missed opportunities. With your so-called "direct" example, it's an interruption rather than opening with what she's thinking, which would be better. The "indirect" example is not "indirect," so much as lacking focus and not engaging with her at all, which isn't even trying for an opportunity.

Play with extreme styles that work if you're going to experiment.

nonsass · 2016-10-03T20:09:59+00:00

I don't think you done anything wrong!

Sounds like she just didn't want to talk to you. Short answers and never adding to the convo. I don't think you can 'game' a girl into finding you attractive.

blue42huthut · 2016-10-04T05:13:59+00:00

The important thing, or a recent sticking point for me, is not whether you go direct or indirect, but if you are going to ask "the usual small talk" type of questions/assumptions (rather than running entertaining DHV routines like the 'best friend test') then it's really important to do a huge roll off to her first response. If they nice-to-meet you and eject, you just weren't entertaining enough probably. It's not about intent, I don't think. They don't want your filthy intent, right? Rolling off demonstrates (in a joking playful way) your willingness to leave. It's kind of like a physically communicated false time constraint. You basically pretend for 3 seconds to be so horrified at what she has said that you are immediately leaving. Teasing = entertaining. From there you can safely return to boring chit-chat without her ditching you immediately. Shortly thereafter you make an observation about how she is responding to you (such as a comment about her body language).

Openers (direct or indirect) are not part of the personality you are there to convey to the group.

Title	experiment with indirect-direct?
Author	crawleydown
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	October 3, 2016 2:25 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/55nvu1/experiment_with_indirectdirect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/experiment-with-indirect-direct.1413368 https://theredarchive.com/post/1413368

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