Question for Advanced Guys

weouthereslaying · 2018-02-18T18:22:00+00:00

Your theory seems almost spot on. If it is true however then it would only be insecure low value girls who "stifle" these actions.

It would make sense that a high value confident woman would be comfortable with her man displaying what makes him a man and what attracted a high value woman into his life in the first place.

An insecure girl would think that displaying these traits will attract other women and thus give the man options.

_MAMBAK_ · 2018-02-18T21:07:02+00:00

My current girlfriend sometimes does this while we are in public, living situations where she isn't at ease.

The thing is not only she is trying to be "manly" assertive, but she is also astoundingly mimicking me.

I see it as a protection mecanism, trying to cope with what she knows usually works. When I tacitly let her know that she is safe, she quickly stops.

2018-02-18T19:47:21+00:00

Here’s my two cents – immature women will probably do that. Hell, mature women will probably do that too.

Unless a man is firmly grounded and confident in his masculinity there should be nothing that can move him – Spartan-like discipline to the end. Most men aren’t like that. I think that some men think that because they got the girl, that’s it, take your foot of the pedal; when in fact, they should continue to be the formidable men they are and not soften up because a girl is giving them attention. From what you’re describing, it seems like they’ve gone soft or ceded some power to the woman in question.

Women want to tame, nurture, contain. However, that’s not in their best interest. Our caveman days have taught us that the man has to go out and do the hunting (i.e. be the source of power, dominance, and cunning). If you tame that force, what’s left of it? It’s like taking a car and ripping out the engine. He’s a shell of his former self. He is ruined.

Interesting post, OP. Hope this answers your question.

LingeringGnome · 2018-02-19T01:02:21+00:00

My gf would never do this in public to me, as I established my boundaries early on in the relationship. This is a fitness model who had numerous male orbiters--a gorgeous woman with many suitors. She was more intelligent and dominant than these men, and had a few slip ups early on because she was used to leading and dominating these passive orbiters.

I'd simply whisper into her hear, "don't disrespect your man, babe". Then kiss her on the cheek. she'd get right back to her feminine, playful self.

Now, I love that my girl will throw some of my bullshit back at me...that's why I chose her. She's challenging and fun. Independent t and strong women are hot. I love dating feminists. I love it when I'm out with her friends and they give me a little bit of shit. I sit back and smile, maybe throw a fun barb back. I don't ever get butthurt because I know women are playful. And I know there will be a threesome at some point. The less NEGATIVE emotions you put into your relationship, the less you will get back at you.

BTW, "Bringing a lot of attention to themselves" is not dominant or manly behavior. It 's teenager or frat boy behavior. Unless it's career-based.

Also, there's a fine line between being assertive and being an emotionally-uncentered meathead. The dominant male is almost always playful and fun with his woman, whereas the meathead seeks to control and responds based on his emotions.

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-02-18T20:00:57+00:00

Being comfortable in your own skin is a good starting point.

Raii-v2 · 2018-02-19T02:47:04+00:00

Alpha behavior is generally boisterous and embarrassing when unnecessarily used in public settings.

Aka immature.

In private the rules are different and therefore the reactions are different

2018-02-18T22:54:17+00:00

This is good stuff. There's a physiological aspect to your theory and it's fair in saying you are on to something. A lot of the other advice in these comments are decent responses, too.

2018-02-18T23:39:50+00:00

rsd tyler talks about this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm2aKGI4fWM

BaconMeTimbers · 2018-02-19T04:09:01+00:00

My girlfriend currently does things like "shopping with my bf" and putting snap filters in my face on social media. I can attest to this

GET_IN_THE_VAN · 2018-02-19T04:42:07+00:00

"guys that understand the game to such an extent that they can use it to get their way in every social interaction, even when its interactions that have nothing to do with sex or women." - you're expectations are all out of wack homie that's not how it works.

bronzebeagle · 2018-02-20T04:34:03+00:00

The way you describe it sounds too psychological pseudo-science-y for my tastes.

Also, you didn't give any specific examples of what a guy did and what a girl did to stifle it. You just tried to describe the behavior that the guy was doing: "alpha", "manly", "assertive".

I would just say, People behave differently in private than they do in public. And they similarly want their partner to behave differently in public or private.

I think that's just something everyone does with everybody. For example, let's use making a dumb joke as an assertive behavior. Without thinking about it, I change my sense of humor depending on who I'm with and what the situation and audience calls for. If I'm on a date, both me and the girl might think my joke is cute and funny. If we're out doing something and a lot of stuff is going on, both me and her might think my joke is distracting.

Chiks441 · 2018-02-21T00:35:59+00:00

I love the sort of energy you’re bringing to seddit,whereas it might not be practical for everyone the most fun part of game for me is dissecting these sorta issues.

ImJustSo · 2018-02-19T00:03:42+00:00

I would say you're not far off the mark, but it would probably also depend on the foundation of each relationship.

Would you say that each of those friends had women that felt secure in the relationship? I mean, you mentioned girlfriends. I don't believe that they'd be fully secure that they won't end up an afterthought. So they would need to curb that "alpha" display.

I'm going to put in my two cents, because I do believe I'm socially intelligent. I also believe that my masculinity is atypical(and typical) in a lot of ways, but I'm extremely comfortable in it. People seek my leadership often, but there's also people who instantly bristle at submitting to me, and that's all fine. I'm not really interested in those that have conflict with me. I want to talk about the security aspect, because that's what's relevant to this conversation.

The people who submit to my dominance are comfortable with me. They respect my intelligence, they respect my decision making, and they know that I take care and consideration for them, as well as everyone else. I will use that as leverage to point out that they don't deserve something over another person, unless they are doing a more valuable thing for the group. They know it, I know it, so they get preferential treatment, and everyone else knows it. They all submit to those decisions, because going back to what I mentioned before about what they respect about me.

Now let's put that in terms of a relationship. I have many relationships with women, but I have one relationship that has been ongoing the longest. I married her 3.5 months ago, but I've been with her 14 years (and 3.5 months). She has security. She knows that my masculinity and my dominance is no threat to her. She respects my intelligence, my decision making, my leadership, etc. She fully respects the man I am.

She does not try to curb my typically male behaviors in social settings. Her security in the relationship allows her to enjoy all the benefits of my behaviors. She also does not try to curb my attractiveness to other women. When I'm talking to a woman, she's submissive. When I'm talking with other men, she's submissive to me. It doesn't mean she's powerless, as others would see it. She knows the power she has in the relationship and she knows how I value her, just like my previous example in group settings where I'm the leader (e.g. Management/work). My wife is secure in her value, because I outline the value and show her preferential treatment. Other women may not know, other men may not know, so they see a submissive woman. That's her chosen role, because of who I am.

The security that she has allows her to be comfortable watching me seduce women. She enjoys that her prime male companion is the prime male in other's eyes. She enjoys seeing the social rewards that it brings us both, so long as she has the security that she will not lose it herself.

Let's bring this all back home now, and back to the relevance of your comment. I believe that if you can provide comfort and security, while still exhibiting typically attractive masculine qualities, then you can do whatever you like. Those girlfriends are simply insecure, so of course they would curb their males.

Edited: removed a "not".

zaxanagian2 · 2018-02-18T20:14:57+00:00

Holy shit you’re a genius

Title	Question for Advanced Guys
Author	hunterpua
Upvotes	37
Comments	24
Date	February 18, 2018 4:56 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7yfh1a/question_for_advanced_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/question-for-advanced-guys.1441886 https://theredarchive.com/post/1441886

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