Operating outside of my comfort zone, one-itis, aiming out of my league, and dealing with ambiguity. In other words, I need help. Please.

allthewine29 · 2011-09-14T04:19:26+00:00

You have serious self image and confidence issues man. Seriously, why do you think like that? This girl is trying to get close to you and you are doing everything possible to make sure she friendzones the shit out of you. Never call yourself ugly, you are probably your toughest critic and girls care more about your personality and confidence anyways. YOU ARE FUCKING AWESOME. Who gives a shit if that's true, if you act like it is it will be. Really, I'm getting a strong self pity vibe from your post and it's holding you back.

Never, ever feel sorry for yourself, it's selfish. I used to feel sorry for myself because I was lonely and heartbroken. That was until I watched this video. It made me realize my problems were trivial and only made worse because I chose to dwell on them. You are alive, start living and don't let yourself be your greatest hindrance.

broprideparade · 2011-09-14T04:21:28+00:00

Is this a troll? If you've lurked this subreddit for longer than a week you'll know that people are not going to tell you that you suck and will instead attempt to advise you how to convince yourself that you're totally awesome and she's actually into you (Speaking of that second point, she wants to watch a movie with you, which pretty much means she wants to hook up in some form or another, even if she doesn't want to date seriously.) In fact, operating out of your comfort zone and aiming out of your league are two of the main pieces of advice on here. You're also probably way more awesome than you give yourself credit for, but if you want someone to tell you to give up forever, here ya go: Give up forever.

Seriously though: Sidebar it up! I'd say the kino/conversation bits would be the most important for Wednesday, the other stuff more long-term. Also if you're really as much of a slob as you say you are, good grooming is probably the quickest way to feel way better about yourself (read: more confident) with fashion being probably the second quickest. After that check out the inner game stuff.

TL;DR You got this dude! She's totally into you!

bananaonfire · 2011-09-14T04:23:45+00:00

"not dating guys from work" is her way of convincing herself that she's not into you. she is genuinely interested in you but got on defense when you asked her to dinner. Neg her. She still wants to hang out with you but hasn't yet realized that she's attracted to you. Take control of the situation and disqualify yourself as a potential suitor before you get friend-zoned.

C00LSTORYBRO · 2011-09-14T06:06:40+00:00

It is OK to be an ugly man.
The lack of self confidence is all in your head.
Just be yourself. She wouldn't be wanting to go to dinner if there wasn't something she liked about you. Could be she just enjoys your company, or it could be a different interest, but you'll never know if you don't go.
Don't try to get laid and fall in love so hard. Great things happen when you stop trying and just live in the moment.

Not every relationship with a woman ends in sex... and it's ok to have friends that are women. Just go enjoy dinner, take in the movie, and live in the moment... worse thing that happens is you had a great dinner and watched a movie with a beautiful woman. There are a lot of worse things you could be doing.

puaCurveBall · 2011-09-14T06:41:10+00:00

I ask her if she'd like to have dinner before we watch the film -- and she says that I should know that she doesn't date guys she works with, not that I would be interested in that, but that she's just stating a fact so she won't have to later.

This is her trying to get you to come over to makeout and probably have sex with her.

You asking for dinner is a big sign saying "I don't get it, and my clueless butt wants to 'date' you like a real boy/girl should". So she counters explaining she doesn't want a relationship.

She wants to bone you, the relationship line is so you don't get over attached too soon or want to make things public at work.

Have sex with her, let her know you understand it is casual and take things "one step at a time". She wants you, she just doesn't want to date you (yet!)

kanji_sasahara · 2011-09-14T09:48:32+00:00

Holy shit man, you need to fix yourself. Work out, change your clothes, change your posture, ANYTHING that can increase your confidence in yourself. http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/awesome-desktop-wallpapers-12.jpg I don't know how I can possibly give you proper advice to change your mindset, but NEVER sell yourself short. The world isn't a kind place, so never shut the door on yourself, that's just stupid.

WolfInTheField · 2011-09-14T14:20:07+00:00

Don't plead for help with us, mate. It comes from a wrong mindset. We'll help you anyway, don't worry ;)

That said, the first thing I can tell you is to relax. There's many ways to instantly relax yourself and slow down this huuuuge flow of thoughts you have, look them up or ask me and other sedditors for them. They're great for putting you out of your head, as that's where most of your problems are.

Once you've done that, there is a beautiful, beautiful inner game guide in the sidebar of this beautiful, beautiful forum. It will teach you.

Edit: To expand; You have a totally unconstructive mindset! Your life would be so much better, so much easier, if you just got conscious and in control of your thoughts and mindsets.

thesleepingdog · 2011-09-14T14:19:20+00:00

I'm going to break down your post and send you a long-winded personal message. In my message I'm going to include my personal email.

2011-09-14T15:09:59+00:00

The fuck is this, man? Get ahold of yourself.

Start here.

Title	Operating outside of my comfort zone, one-itis, aiming out of my league, and dealing with ambiguity. In other words, I need help. Please.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	57
Date	September 14, 2011 3:44 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kezin/operating_outside_of_my_comfort_zone_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/operating-outside-of-my-comfort-zone-one-itis.1322521 https://theredarchive.com/post/1322521

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