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ParadoxThatDrivesUs Archive

View 21 posts and 921 comments by ParadoxThatDrivesUs on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
66

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 12:51 AM
53

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/16 12:45 AM
39

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/askMRP26/02/18 04:45 AM
38

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/16 09:38 PM
34

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 06:17 PM
30

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/17 01:53 AM
23

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/16 11:08 PM
17

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/16 09:19 PM
16

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/askMRP06/03/16 05:30 AM
15

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/16 12:41 AM
13

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 11:54 PM
12

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 03:56 AM
9

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/askMRP15/01/16 01:23 AM
8

MetaParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/askMRP19/01/16 08:44 PM
7

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/askMRP04/02/16 03:15 AM
7

Basic QuestionParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/askMRP28/01/16 04:50 AM
7

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/askMRP12/01/16 05:06 PM
6

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/16 05:24 AM
5

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill25/12/16 08:28 PM
3

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/MarriedRedPill11/07/16 07:24 PM
0

ParadoxThatDrivesUs/r/askMRP23/04/16 01:10 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

OP, listen to this. Everything else is bullshit. Get your physical body in top running condition and the rest will fall into place. I just put up a post with my experience. Get in shape and you won't have to solve problems with the wife you've got now, because she'll be magically replaced by a completely different woman.
/r/askMRP26/02/18 04:56 AM
1

It’s not a learned response. Instead, imagine people are hard-wired with a particular attitude chosen at random, with different people having different wiring. Over time, the “winning” attitudes will become more prevalent because those people have more kids who are like them.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/18 11:46 PM
2

Well, here’s a thought. Pre-historic man lived in close tribes, where membership in the tribe meant life or death. Being a “player” in that world might mean more offspring, true, but it also meant a good chance of getting you ass kicked and being left to die. If you piss off the men around you, you probably die. For super strong guys, it’s worth the risk, because the tribe can’t afford to lose you even if you do piss everyone off. But normal or weak guys shouldn’t take the risk. Better for them …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/18 11:42 PM
2

Maybe, but a better evolutionary strategy would be for the man to only fall in love if and when he actually impregnated a woman.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/18 11:35 PM
2

Because many men are designed by natural selection not to figure it out. It's a female sexual strategy, and it wouldn't be worth much if it didn't work at least some of the time.
/r/askMRP18/02/18 10:49 PM
5

Let's go all the way back to the basics: Why are you with this person? She's fat, old, boring in bed, does not have a job yet can't even cope with home responsibilities, is not attracted to you, and forces you to jump through hoops for lousy sex. I would say knock her off that pedestal, but it's hard to even understand why you've got her up there in the first place. Without you, her prospects are dim and getting dimmer by the day. For fucks sake, stop chasing her and pull yourself together.
/r/askMRP29/01/18 10:25 PM
2

I understand exactly what you are asking and why you are asking it. I don’t have an answer to your questions, but after struggling with the same questions for years, I can share a few thoughts that may be helpful. First let’s pin down your question a bit more precisely. When you say that things are insignificant, what you mean is that they are meaningless. Things have meaning by reference to something larger outside of themselves. The larger structure gives meaning to the smaller things that it …
/r/askMRP27/12/17 07:20 PM
1

Are you advising OP against lifting because he's 51 or because he's such a fuck up?
/r/askMRP20/11/17 10:09 PM
1

DL 6 is gaming your own wife. How is that crazy?
/r/askMRP22/08/17 06:59 PM
2

Lots of solid advice here. I'll just add - lose the weight. Regardless of what happens here, its an easy win just sitting there waiting for you to claim it.
/r/askMRP22/08/17 06:35 PM
1

Re-post it here if you want, but you're not gonna like the answers.
/r/askMRP22/08/17 03:31 PM
2

Nice sub. Checking the sidebar, there's actually several books they've done that are recommended around here.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/17 08:07 PM
6

Here's the standard you should apply: Will canceling the trip cause her to have more respect for you, or less? My guess is less, but depends on the details. Are you ripped and have your shit locked down? Or are you a disorganized fat fuck who likes to stomp his foot?
/r/askMRP30/06/17 10:32 PM
1

Shotgun?
/r/askMRP28/06/17 05:53 AM
2

So a few thoughts: First, it's posible that she's just uniquely broken and you'll never have a satisfying sex life with her - but that should be a last resort hypothesis after all else fails. Right now, it's far, far more likely that your situation is completely fixable once you get your own shit together and firmly on point. It's probably you, and you should act on that assumption. Too many guys assume it must be her and then use that as an excuse to do nothing. So run your MAP and continue to …
/r/askMRP27/06/17 05:52 AM
1

It's even worse than you describe. I believe women who are scared away from sex often unconsciously choose to be with guys that they aren't attracted to. So OP may be dealing with a woman who doesn't like sex generally and isn't attracted to him in particular. On the other hand, OP, assuming you haven't already deleted this account, the good news is that none of this has anything to do with what actually matters here, which is improving yourself.
/r/askMRP26/06/17 03:54 PM
3

You should start with NMMNG. You have really strong nice guy traits and I get the sense that you aren't aware of it. That book will probably transform everything you think you know about yourself and how you relate to the world. As for the question in your title, MRP is compatible with religion in exactly the same way that science is compatible with religion - which is to say, it may prompt you to rethink elements of your religion that are not compatible with certain truths about how the world w…
/r/askMRP26/06/17 03:48 PM
0

You forgot to say what you want.
/r/askMRP24/06/17 03:06 PM
1

If you stay married she's gonna get that half anyway, right? It's already hers either way.
/r/askMRP23/06/17 03:27 AM
6

I don't understand all the worry about "going Rambo" lately. I can count on one hand the number of guys who report doing any lasting damage from going to fast. Actually, I can't think of any examples offhand. Meanwhile countless guys are getting nowhere because they're afraid to rock the boat. OP has been married 34 years to a 57year old woman who is 70 pounds overweight. She's not going anywhere.
/r/askMRP23/06/17 02:03 AM
1

It involves some mental gymnastics, but I'd suggest telling yourself that you're taking a moratorium on sex, but youre still going to initiate. That's the path to OI.
/r/askMRP22/06/17 07:07 PM
1

This is perhaps the single most profound question that can be asked about life on earth. Literally every single thing that every plant or animal has ever done in all of history was motivated by a drive to live and reproduce. If you realize that ultimately it doesn't mean anything, then the next step in your chain of reasoning is ...?
/r/TheRedPill22/06/17 06:07 AM
1

Nice theory, but all sexual animals, and even plants for that matter, have a primal urge to sexual reproduction. So I don't think the explanation can turn on our status "as humans."
/r/TheRedPill22/06/17 06:02 AM
8

So the options are fame, fortune or women? Can we aim a little higher?
/r/TheRedPill22/06/17 05:55 AM
1

Makes sense if you think about it. The whole reason that women throw shit tests at you is to determine whether you can handle the shit tests that life will throw at you.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/06/17 06:40 PM
6

You're backtracking now all over these comments, as if the only issue is that drunk wife isn't attractive. But your post says that you're so butthurt that you don't even want to see her today, and you were motivated to post about it.
/r/askMRP21/06/17 02:55 PM
2

You are needy in the sense of someone who always has to have the last word. Not an exact fit, but very similar. People with abundance don't care who has the last word.
/r/askMRP21/06/17 02:41 PM
7

Extremely needy, dude. She says she's not coming so you respond with a ridiculous butthurt "Ok but then don't call me back later begging to come." Then, "You're uninvited." Then "I'm hanging up now." Cringeworthy.
/r/askMRP21/06/17 02:09 AM
1

Ok. I still think you could turn the dial a bit more toward "go fuck yourself." Just tuck it away as something to think about down the line somewhere.
/r/askMRP20/06/17 10:35 PM
2

The most telling detail in that wall of text was you going out of your way to clarify that any flirting would be "with agreed boundaries." Boundaries are fine, but do what you want, not what mom says is ok. The whole point of flirting is to create some intentional ambiguity into an interaction. Reading through your super polite replies in this thread, I think you need to cultivate a bit more of a "fuck off" attitude toward people in general. Like you said, nobody else in the universe cares, so w…
/r/askMRP20/06/17 07:34 PM
1

That's not really a MAP, it's more like a set of guiding principles. Needs to be more concrete.
/r/askMRP20/06/17 07:03 PM
3

Do what you want to do is pretty bad advice for a lot of guys around here.
/r/askMRP20/06/17 04:19 PM
7

Break your posts into smaller chunks by inserting double blank lines. Good start on the weight. Keep it going. Not much else will change until that's fixed. Fifty pounds might take you a year, but it'll pay huge dividends literally every minute for the rest of your life. Running is great. But yes, you need to lift. There's no point coming here for advice if you're going to ignore the unanimous number one suggestion of everyone here. Embrace it. This is your new hobby. I wouldn't worry so much ab…
/r/askMRP20/06/17 04:42 AM
2

You definitely fucked up by getting angry and hanging up on her, but mostly because it makes you look weak. I don't see any reason to feel guilty about it, though. That just translates into even more weakness.
/r/askMRP19/06/17 06:32 PM
1

Is being happy the most important thing?
/r/askMRP18/06/17 03:28 AM
2

Simple. I serve myself. And I also serve others (although not that much, to be honest). Only serving people who serve you back sounds like a covert contract to me. Where I do agree with you, and maybe this is more what you had in mind, is that I won't sacrifice myself for people who I think don't deserve the effort.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/17 02:43 PM
3

I guess I'm a slave then. I don't really have a problem with the specific examples given, but I completely reject the seven bullet summary at the end. It seems like a recipient for loneliness to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/17 12:40 AM
1

Thank you. I'm underweight and already eat low sugar. So what's the "obvious" benefit for me to go to zero? I'm open to the idea, but at least give me a reason.
/r/TheRedPill16/06/17 04:11 AM
1

Don't argue, don't agree, just ignore it. STFU.
/r/askMRP15/06/17 03:27 PM
3

Ha, that's it exactly!
/r/askMRP15/06/17 06:09 AM
1

So what's the plan to turn this shit around?
/r/askMRP15/06/17 02:16 AM
9

I hate posts that are nothing more than "Here's my problem, fix it for me." But I happen to have been thinking about a post that fits as an answer to your question, so I'll drop it here. The reason that you lack self-discipline is because your actions aren't aligned with a vision for your life. That could be because your real vision is to do something else, but in your case, it sounds like you probably just don't have any vision at all. You're taking classes just because. If you like them, great…
/r/askMRP15/06/17 01:36 AM
18

After reading your post, my sympathy is with your wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/17 02:33 AM
5

Nice hamster. Women never seem to have any trouble losing weight when they are motivated, like when they get dumped or are trying to attract a new guy. It's almost startling how fast an overweight girl who gets dropped can slim down and increase her SMV. I think the real problem is that most women don't really have to try very hard to stay in a relationship with a typical AFC. He's not going anywhere.
/r/askMRP12/06/17 10:39 PM
3

What? No. Expressing your anger to your wife is almost always a DLV - especially if you're butthurt that she doesn't appreciate all your hard work scrubbing the kitchen while she was at work. It's DEERing, it's diving into her frame, it's putting her in charge. Jesus Christ. OP is on the right track. If he's cleaning for himself - as he should be - then there's no reason to be angry at words from his GF. Ideally, AA. Or else just STFU. Or if you want to make a point, then withdraw some attention…
/r/askMRP11/06/17 03:38 AM
2

Checked your history. You've been lurking for at least a year. By now you should be far enough along that this sort of thing doesn't even come up. As of last year, you said you were not lifting because you wanted to focus on finances. So, do you even lift?
/r/askMRP10/06/17 11:45 PM
5

Adult sport league
/r/askMRP10/06/17 12:05 PM
38

No region is immune. When I travel in the south, I'm struck by how fat and out of shape many men are compared to what I'm used to where I live.
/r/TheRedPill09/06/17 07:46 PM
1

Yeah, that's more or less the whole point of Zen Buddhism, right? Or any other form of mysticism. That right there is exactly why mystics take a vow of poverty.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/17 04:21 AM
1

So "areas where I need improvement" means "am I generating tingles" - i.e., does she approve? That's your standard?
/r/askMRP09/06/17 04:12 AM
2

I'm glad you got your answer, but I think you're asking the wrong questions. She needs to earn your respect, not the other way around.
/r/askMRP09/06/17 04:03 AM
3

If she has a point, fix yourself. If not, ignore her.
/r/askMRP09/06/17 03:57 AM
2

Who cares if she's radiating contempt? You are your own judge, not her.
/r/askMRP08/06/17 10:02 PM
1

These are your only options - Level 10 or do nothing?
/r/askMRP08/06/17 09:42 PM
2

I can relate. Sometimes the right decision is to end it, and there's no rule that says you have to walk through all 12 steps of dread before making that decision. But it should be a calm decision, made for your own reasons because it fits within your vision. Not an emotional reaction to her bullshit. In other words, do it from your frame, not hers.
/r/askMRP08/06/17 06:32 PM
1

What does her feelz have to do with your decision where to focus?
/r/askMRP08/06/17 02:48 PM
10

I think the problem - not your fault, just how it is - is that you don't learn this stuff by hearing it from your dad. You learn it through his example. So of course reading a list on a computer isn't going to be the same.
/r/TheRedPill08/06/17 03:23 AM
3

Great post. I've had the gnawing feeling lately that I've allowed myself to become an "armchair-MRPer" - just phoning it in, critiquing others and deluding myself. Your post clinches it.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/17 08:23 PM
9

"Frankly, I'm probably as good as I'll ever be." This is the only part of the post that matters. Do you really believe that? Why?
/r/askMRP07/06/17 08:12 PM
2

The list of "rights" at the beginning includes the right to change your mind and the right to make a decision without giving any reasons.
/r/askMRP07/06/17 02:42 PM
3

I just don't get it. Your first post says you wanted to divorce her in January. Then this shitshow happens . . . and now you want to keep her around?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/17 06:25 AM
9

Well, maybe just a few texts . . . but NO emoticons, dammit!
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/17 06:15 AM
6

She's backseat driving your life: "Don't hit that car!" "No fucking shit. Of course I'm not going to hit the car." "Yeah, because I told you!" Just AA it. You started to, but then got butt hurt when she stormed into the kitchen. Just keep AAing.
/r/askMRP06/06/17 05:44 AM
4

Typing skills, probably.
/r/askMRP03/06/17 03:03 PM
7

Mostly agree, except for the bit about him being a baby. There's nothing wrong with not having kids and spending your life doing what you want to do. Some might call that alpha. The problem here is that she needs a beta provider and he doesn't want to be one.
/r/askMRP03/06/17 03:00 PM
9

Thought experiment: Your wife is 30 pounds overweight, but she has money in the bank. Do you want to have sex with her?
/r/askMRP03/06/17 02:29 PM
3

My philosophy: As far as I can tell, no one on the Internet is real, and I don't owe anybody here anything at all. I use this sub as a kind of interactive journal - throw out an idea, see what comes back. More grist for the mill. Whether anything I write is helpful to anyone else is irrelevant to me.
/r/askMRP02/06/17 08:11 PM
1

Right. How can she miss you if you won't go away?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/17 08:08 PM
0

Maybe your right and OP is playing 5-dimensional chess here. But it seems like an awful lot of talking just to have lunch with a friend.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/17 02:00 AM
1

What's your eating and lifting routine?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/17 07:41 PM
4

I agree to a point, but why rush the decision? Sometimes just letting things drift for a time can bring clarity.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/17 07:32 PM
12

Did we delete the part of the sidebar where it says not to be a fat fuck? Lately seems like guys keep burying it like its some irrelevant detail.
/r/askMRP01/06/17 01:59 AM
9

She's young and fit. You're old and fat. Shit ain't rocket science.
/r/askMRP01/06/17 01:50 AM
7

That's a lot of weight. I'm not sure you can draw any conclusions about anything in your relationship until you get in decent shape.
/r/askMRP31/05/17 06:35 PM
5

Oneitis? She spit in your face. Twice.
/r/askMRP31/05/17 03:58 AM
10

It all seems a little sad, to be honest.
/r/askMRP31/05/17 01:45 AM
1

Where do you want to go?
/r/askMRP30/05/17 10:27 PM
1

Just gonna let this sentence echo: "It is a challenge sometimes to assess her day-to-day moods when I don't see her every day and we're communicating via phone or text."
/r/askMRP30/05/17 06:25 PM
1

Chilling is fine now and then. I'm going off of your statement that "there is definitely a lot of domestication" happening. That implies that you're basically just hanging out with her at home. Yes, over time, that's unattractive.
/r/askMRP29/05/17 08:23 PM
17

I'll go against the grain a little and say that this can be a good idea if done for the right reasons. I stopped initiating for the first month or two after MRP and I feel like it helped me clear my head a little and get out from her frame. The key, though, is that you must do it for your reasons, not hers. Don't do it to try to teach her a lesson or show her or get any sort of reaction at all from her. If you do it, do it for your own reasons, to remove distractions or reset yourself or whateve…
/r/askMRP29/05/17 02:16 AM
6

She's not attracted to you. If she won't have sex with you, that's pretty much the definition of not being attracted to you. And if it's been going on for 17 years (or whatever) then that means she hasn't been attracted to you for 17 years. I'm not trying to rub your nose in it, but for me this was an important early insight when I was starting out. It doesn't matter what you "deserve," it doesn't matter how nice or rude you are to her, it doesn't matter if you owe her a favor or if she owes you…
/r/askMRP28/05/17 09:22 PM
2

You're missing the point. Once you're "domesticated," then she will no longer be attracted to you. The whole point of a shit test is that if you fail, you become less attractive to her. if you're going back to her place to "Netflix and chill," I guarantee you're on the road to no more tingles. Same thing if you're already being her chauffeur. It's not just if you can live with it. It's what effect will it have on her long term.
/r/askMRP28/05/17 09:00 PM
6

Shouting matches, really? Long conversations? Why are you wasting your time and energy on this?
/r/TheRedPill28/05/17 12:59 AM
3

It's only going to get worse. If no kids, find someone else.
/r/askMRP27/05/17 01:41 PM
3

WTF? Just about everybody here is going to tell him to dump her.
/r/askMRP27/05/17 01:40 PM
2

Agreed. If Alpha just means everything good and Beta means everything bad, the words become useless. And advice about balancing alpha and beta become nonsensical. Planning for future contingencies to ensure that your family will be taken care of is classic beta behavior, but that doesn't make it bad. Definitions aside, though, I'm on board with the rest of the post.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/17 09:06 PM
2

I doubt she would act any differently if he did his chores like a good boy. Just guessing based on no information, but OP sounds like he's got a road ahead of him.
/r/askMRP26/05/17 04:56 AM
7

This is easy for me to say, but even speaking as a father myself, I wouldn't stay in this relationship. You've already lost half of your assets - that happened the day you got married. Visitation is tougher, but by the time you factor in working all day, etc., is two weekends a month full time with the kids that much less? Sexting with other guys from your own home . . . .
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/17 02:01 AM
2

Agreed. How anyone can offer any useful advice on this without knowing the background is beyond me.
/r/askMRP25/05/17 02:04 PM
4

I don't understand your question - feelings match up with what I need to feel and not feel? But I'm pretty sure the answer is to just jump in and start doing stuff, and then go from there. This is the dumbest analogy ever, but you know how your phone GPS gets confused when you're sitting in a parking lot and it doesn't know which way to go and it just says "proceed to route"? And you're thinking, I can't proceed to route because I don't know which way to go and that's the whole reason I'm using …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/17 05:02 AM
1

Also read the sidebar in r/personalfinance
/r/askMRP24/05/17 04:42 AM
2

Maybe she doesn't think it was BS. Was it BS? What do you think he meant?
/r/askMRP24/05/17 04:40 AM
15

You decide if this applies - women become more masculine in response as men become less masculine. Maybe you are slipping more than you admit to yourself? If you are going to man the home fires, then you have to own it completely. Stop begging her to spend more time with the family. Terrible dynamic. You're having an amazing time with your boys and don't notice or care what she does. That's where you need to be.
/r/askMRP24/05/17 01:33 AM
2

DYEL? The rest of this is noise.
/r/askMRP22/05/17 09:28 PM
2

You may be right about the science, but the underlying principle seems right to me. I often go long-distance hiking, which I experience as a sort of "de-tox" of the usual stimulations and comforts of modern life. The first few days totally suck as I slowly come down - sleep on the ground, cold and wet, bored and tired, bugs, etc. After a few days, though, my system resets, and I derive pleasure from something as small as its not raining as hard today as yesterday. Ground is hard, but at least th…
/r/TheRedPill21/05/17 09:23 PM
3

Good one. You should write that up in a blockbuster tip-of-the-day post.
/r/TheRedPill21/05/17 09:16 PM
3

Actually, done right, the whole point of counseling is to move past DEERing. Done right, the role of the counselor is simply to ask questions, you DEER in response, the counselor reflects your DEERing back to you so you hear what it sounds like from the outside, and you hopefully gain some insight into what lies behind the DEERing. Very much like this sub, in fact. Obviously not all counsellors follow this model - there are quacks in every field - but it is possible to find counsellors who will …
/r/askMRP20/05/17 07:45 PM
3

You entire post, and every response in this thread, is nothing but DEER.
/r/askMRP20/05/17 07:39 PM
7

This is pathetic. She desperately needs a leader and a man, but instead she's stuck with your childish bullshit. She can't fix the marriage, because you are the problem. She should just flat out tell you to stop being such a beta pussy, but she doesn't really understand. Still, in her helplessness and confusion, she's trying to make an effort.
/r/askMRP20/05/17 07:37 PM
5

Fuck, dude. When your wife flat out begs you not to cheat on her, you've won.
/r/askMRP20/05/17 07:07 PM
4

Holy shit, this is terrible advice. If you tell her you know, but don't leave her, you only weaken your value in her eyes. She isn't going to think, "I better make it up to him." She's going to think, "I really am the prize."
/r/askMRP20/05/17 01:36 PM
4

The fundamental issue here is that your wife isn't attracted to you. If she wants to have sex with you, it won't matter what her friends think. If she doesn't, it won't matter what her friends think.
/r/askMRP20/05/17 01:37 AM
5

This is only good advice of he's attractive. If he's not, this is a recipient for disaster.
/r/askMRP20/05/17 01:35 AM
3

I can relate to much of your post, especially about swinging between diving into something new and depression. I don't have a solution, but here's something I've learned: Depression or lack of desire can sometimes be caused by something really simple that's completely unrelated to what you think is the cause. For example, your wife changes detergent that causes your bedsheets to itch, which causes you to lose an hour of sleep each night tossing and turning. That drags you down, saps your energy,…
/r/askMRP20/05/17 01:28 AM
6

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
/r/askMRP19/05/17 07:57 PM
5

One of the first things you learn is that everyone here is an asshole. It's almost like they aren't even trying to help you out. Just like everyone else in the world. You're on your own.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/17 02:40 AM
1

By your own account, you're still fat. The simplest explanation is the best. Lose the rest of the weight, build some muscle, and see where you are then.
/r/askMRP15/05/17 09:41 PM
2

Who said anything about going red pill Rambo? Implementing MRP by starting with the speech you quote is like telling someone how great a movie is going to be five minutes before they start to watch it. "Making your wife guess" => look up mystery in sidebar. "Letting your wife know changes are happening" => if you have to let her know, then maybe the changes aren't as big as you think. At most, if she specifically asks, you might say something vague about improving yourself. But promising that "o…
/r/askMRP11/05/17 07:18 PM
3

Honestly, I'm having trouble getting past your statement that she's 30 pound overweight (and married 20 years) and is still a 7.
/r/askMRP11/05/17 04:07 PM
2

Wrong. Actions, not words. If you say these words, then you undermine yourself.
/r/askMRP11/05/17 03:57 PM
9

You have a right to be pissed about the original bad conduct. But given that you had already decided to let it go, I'm struggling to see how you were justified in choosing to dredge it up out of nowhere on MILs 50th birthday party. I think an expression of regret to MIL over your timing might be appropriate to move on without sacrificing your principles
/r/askMRP11/05/17 03:51 PM
1

"We know there are guys on here who are ripped and in shape and are yet getting no sex." And we know that because . . . ?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/17 02:09 PM
6

She's a 7, has no job, is approaching the wall, and won't put out. Why do you give a fuck what she thinks or does?
/r/askMRP09/05/17 01:19 PM
2

Bullshit. You're not going to change a goddamn thing.
/r/askMRP06/05/17 10:05 PM
7

Yeah, she handled his comfort test really well.
/r/askMRP03/05/17 06:40 PM
4

Somewhere along the line, I realized that a big part of wanting sex for me was really just wanting validation. Once I got past that, I still enjoy sex, but I'm no longer desperate for it in the same way. My ego isn't wrapped up in it anymore, so I have a much healthier relationship.
/r/askMRP02/05/17 06:33 PM
15

I have a theory that the longer and more obsessively introspective an initial post is, the less likely the guy is to succeed. If you spend this much time and effort analyzing your relationship wth a woman, it's not going to end well.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/17 04:24 AM
2

If you're asking for warning signs about her, don't bother. All women are basically the same. What you should be asking for is warning signs to look for in yourself. If it all goes wrong, it'll be because you fucked it up. Based on your above response, I suggest you start by working on your frame. There is no fucking way that some random person on the Internet should be able to pull your strings so easily.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/17 04:11 AM
1

Well, at least you've got a direction. I'm struggling to comprehend what you could possibly have done wrong to think that you deserve eight years of no sex. For your own sake, I think you need to seriously consider the possibility that your wife is a complete bitch.
/r/askMRP02/05/17 03:48 AM
8

No sex for 8 years, and she doesn't even work?!? Why are you with this person? Why do you care what she thinks? What has she done to deserve any consideration from you at all?
/r/askMRP01/05/17 10:12 PM
2

I'm not sure how this became accepted wisdom around here, but I disagree with BPP - STFU literally means stop talking.
/r/askMRP29/04/17 07:00 PM
1

Spot on.
/r/askMRP27/04/17 04:20 PM
2

So you have zero social life and do nothing but work and stay at home. Fix that and this problem will go away.
/r/askMRP27/04/17 04:20 PM
2

Disagree. This worked for you because you had your shit together and eyes wide open. But for people like OP, this is the kind of thinking that leads to enabling. Just cut her off.
/r/askMRP26/04/17 09:40 PM
3

This is even more true than you realize. Per the above, her main "trust" issue is that she caught him using porn five years ago.
/r/askMRP24/04/17 03:38 PM
1

Wait, what? She withholds sex from you, and then her main trust issue is that you used to fap to porn? That is completely fucked up. Doesn't matter for now, just keep pressing ahead with your MAP. But you need to knock her off that pedestal you've put her on.
/r/askMRP24/04/17 03:35 PM
1

You already know this, but that's a sure sign that you're 100% in her frame.
/r/askMRP24/04/17 03:24 PM
2

You're getting good advice here. I'll just hammer some on the lifting and diet. If you think you're 10 pounds over, chances are good it's really 20 pounds. Getting your body back in shape is more than half the battle.
/r/askMRP24/04/17 03:22 PM
1

Stop owning other people's shit. Start owning YOUR shit. Both steps are important.
/r/askMRP24/04/17 02:25 PM
3

Congrats on dropping forty pounds and all, but pretty obvious why she lost attraction, isn't it? Takes a while to recover.
/r/askMRP20/04/17 01:50 AM
2

I don't understand your title. What do you mean it has to be about sex? Why do you hate it?
/r/askMRP20/04/17 01:48 AM
1

That's not a mission. Not one worthy of a man, anyway. What do you want from your life.
/r/askMRP16/04/17 11:15 PM
1

Always loved this one from Kipling: Now this is the Law of the Jungle -- as old and as true as the sky; And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die. As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back -- For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/17 05:39 AM
1

Who is Homer McDonald?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/17 03:24 AM
1

Equivalent statement from a woman: Looking back, it's always at the very moment when I've gained a few pounds and am not looking my best that they start to lose interest, even though that's when I need their support most of all. Men suck. You can't negotiate attraction.
/r/askMRP11/04/17 07:38 PM
1

Not insane, just profoundly self-centered. I'm not saying it's right, just that accepting it and moving forward is the only path to success. To use a sports analogy, when the ref makes a bad call, a good coach tells his team to ignore it and keep playing. Not because he agrees with the call, but because it's the only path forward.
/r/askMRP11/04/17 03:11 PM
1

You fast while bulking? How does that work?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/17 01:38 PM
1

This is almost exactly me. I started by lifting hard without changing my diet. This worked pretty well at first. I gained some muscle and lost some fat (I'd estimate I dropped to 15%bf). I then hit a long plateau with out much more progress. Eventually I realized I needed to eat more. This pushed my gains up to "intermediate" level per symmetric strength (bench just under body weight, other lifts comparable). But I also developed a gut. Am now aggressively cutting the fat.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/17 01:35 PM
2

Lots of errors here, but the original sin was telling her about the medical test and expecting any sympathy. Just live your life. A little mystery and space will do you both some good. I'm sick this very moment, and the reaction from my wife is the same its always been for fifteen years: accuse me of faking, and turn up the shit tests to eleven. Used to hurt my feelings, just like you. Then I just stopped giving a shit, and ignored her. Now I actually like it, believe it or not. Makes me stronge…
/r/askMRP11/04/17 01:21 PM
2

We don't even know enough to say that she's a shitty person. Could be completely normal reaction to his bullshit.
/r/askMRP11/04/17 01:13 PM
2

I was sort of with you until I read your bullshit edit. You obviously don't want advice, you just want reassurance that you can be an alpha SAHD. So you agree with posts that say that, and reject posts that say the opposite. What's the point?
/r/askMRP07/04/17 07:43 PM
2

If she doesn't want to, how will this help?
/r/askMRP07/04/17 01:43 PM
1

Lol, there's plenty of conservative religious organizations that preach forgiveness of adultery too. There's plenty of stupidity to go around in this world.
/r/askMRP07/04/17 05:08 AM
1

Is this a thing now? I've lived a sheltered life, I guess.
/r/askMRP06/04/17 11:27 PM
1

Not to rub salt in the wound, but she had a full-blown affair with the pilot. Your response - buy her a plane ticket to her parents - immediately telegraphed to her that you weren't going to leave or enforce any consequences at all. Do you really need her shit in your life?
/r/askMRP06/04/17 06:42 PM
10

You left out the clearest evidence of all: If she was really ending it with Chad, then there would be no reason for her to tell OP about it. She wants him to end it for her.
/r/askMRP05/04/17 07:37 PM
8

Forget about her, what do you want?
/r/askMRP05/04/17 07:19 PM
1

Re: no I love you's . . . I've been there. Forget about where you stand in the relationship. Get to a place where what matters is where she stands in the relationship to you. You're the prize.
/r/askMRP05/04/17 03:58 AM
1

Right. So focus on you for a while. The storm may rage a bit, but she'll still be there.
/r/askMRP05/04/17 03:53 AM
5

I say hit the accelerator. A deeply religious woman with four small kids isn't going to go anywhere. Also, you DEERed on basketball. You don't owe her any explanation at all for wanting to play ball. Hell, you don't even have to tell hr where you went.
/r/askMRP05/04/17 12:07 AM
2

I lift approximately 3 days a week (schedule varies). I'll get rid of the "approximately." I'll also add 50 push-ups a day.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/17 06:28 PM
3

If you really are capable of pulling an impossibly hot chick (which I doubt, you sound like an orbiter) then you should be able to pull lots of them, in which case why obsess over this one?
/r/askMRP01/04/17 02:06 PM
1

Any other cliches you want to work in there? What are you here for, exactly? Do you even know?
/r/askMRP30/03/17 06:47 PM
5

If you google "100 days of rejection," you'll see some particularly vivid examples of a strong frame overcoming weak frames, as well as one way of building your frame skills. The guy doing it doesn't talk in terms of frame, and ironically seems to have drawn a completely different set of lessons from his experience. But it's obvious that what he's doing is really all about frame. Everyday for 100 days he sets himself the task of making an absurd request of someone, and then videotapes the result…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/17 03:31 PM
1

If you believe that you have principled reasons for holding your frame in all situations and never experience loss of frame when the unanticipated occurs, you're either the most well-adjusted person who ever lived or you're deluding yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/17 02:10 PM
6

No, seriously, thank you. Maybe I was just ready for this, but reading this post just feels like so many different puzzle pieces all just falling into place.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/17 03:00 AM
26

I just read Frame Control, and thought it was great. But your post is even better.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/17 02:06 AM
4

Exactly right. It's a free country so of course individuals can PM anyone that they want. But for the sub itself to formally endorse it turns us into missionaries looking for converts, which is only going to drive people away and muddy the message.
/r/askMRP30/03/17 01:42 AM
5

Great post
/r/askMRP29/03/17 12:16 AM
2

If she's an actual veteran with diagnosed PTSD, then that's a different story. Lots of guys (me included) imagine in the beginning that their wife/situation is uniquely difficult. Just alerting you to that possibility. Either way, it'll become clear in time.
/r/askMRP29/03/17 12:11 AM
1

The PTSD thing sounds like complete bullshit to me.
/r/askMRP28/03/17 07:01 PM
2

There actually are a number of Christian denominations that are very close to what you describe. You can go for weeks without hearing more than the occasional generic call out to God or Jesus. In my area, for example, Methodists are almost entirely a community service organization.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/17 02:36 PM
3

Tale as old as time.
/r/askMRP25/03/17 07:52 PM
2

Just FYI, you have the wrong idea of what a main event is. You don't control it. A main event occurs when you are owning your shit and your wife offers up a last dying gasp of resistance to your leadership in the form of a huge shit test. If you pass it, she gives up the ghost and let's you lead. What you're describing sounds more like a Fuck me or fuck you moment.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/17 08:00 PM
1

You don't have to say it in words. If you're only staying out of guilt, then she already knows that on some level. If you change yourself so that you are no longer willing to stay out of gilt, she will sense that change in you as well. I'm not pretending your situation is easy. I stayed in an unhappy relationship once for similar reasons in my youth. I was so guilty about it that I could barely even admit to myself that I was unhappy. Eventually I ended it, and the relief was euphoric. To this d…
/r/askMRP24/03/17 07:41 PM
1

I'm not a psychologist or anything, but yeah, that's the idea. Both people are acting in an unhealthy way. But they are unhealthy in different ways that fit together. One is an addict or has some other comparable problem, and the other loses himself in a well-intentioned but misguided attempt to help the other person, but the "help" only makes things worse.
/r/askMRP24/03/17 07:35 PM
1

From Wikipedia: "Codependency is a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's drug addiction, alcoholism, gambling addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement." He's enabling her depression by shielding her from the natural consequences of that depression - namely, that he wants to leave. And he's willing to sacrifice his own happiness to do it. If she were a drug addict it would be obvious, but the princ…
/r/askMRP24/03/17 03:23 PM
3

Your game sucks, you aren't lifting right, and you are "losing" weight - ie, still overweight, I gather. These could be clues.
/r/askMRP24/03/17 03:33 AM
3

The word you're looking for is co-dependence. Google it. Check out enabling as well. It's no surprise your marriage sucks with this dynamic at the heart of it.
/r/askMRP23/03/17 06:54 PM
3

Who cares? The fact that you're wondering what she's thinking when she says sorry means that you're deep in her frame.
/r/askMRP23/03/17 06:46 PM
1

Your post makes no sense. Why are you torn? Seems like you're trying to read her mind here, but what difference does it make why she sent it. Just keep going.
/r/askMRP21/03/17 07:07 PM
5

I guess this shit will never die. From NMMNG: "Seeking women's approval requires Nice Guys to constantly monitor the possibility of a woman's availability...."
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/17 04:38 AM
2

I'm also an in my head kind of person. I don't think its something you can turn off just for special occasions. You have to practice being more in the moment all the time.
/r/askMRP21/03/17 04:29 AM
1

Read it all again. Complaining about the relationship is literally never the right move. If you're on Level 1 and 2, I assume that means that your wife won't have sex with you because she's not attracted to you in any way. If that's right, then you don't have any leverage to express your displeasure. Your post history is a mess. Fix yourself first.
/r/askMRP20/03/17 02:50 AM
4

Start small. What's your mission for today? For the next 30 minutes? Answer that question as best you can, and then live purposefully. You can spend years of your life drifting, waiting for the grand mission to descend upon you, and feeling like nothing really matters until you finally have that vision. For some guys, it's better to develop the discipline of living with a purpose, even if you feel like that purpose may ultimately be pointless, just to keep yourself ink motion. Over time, the mis…
/r/askMRP18/03/17 06:36 PM
1

It's everything. Everything reinforces everything else. Lifting is the lynchpin, though. DYEL?
/r/askMRP18/03/17 06:25 PM
3

Ok, read them. It shouldn't be this hard, man. She wanted to leave you in your first year of marriage, and it's never really gotten any better. You can beat yourself up all you want, but it's extremely difficult to develop frame when married to someone who doesn't like you and consistently reflects that back to you 24/7.
/r/askMRP17/03/17 03:16 AM
1

Not knowing your full history, there's a weird disconnect here. You think you guys would have fun going to the parade together. Meanwhile she wouldn't do it if her life depended on it. Is this typical for her?
/r/askMRP16/03/17 11:35 PM
1

Give me a break. Of course she knows how to lose weight.
/r/askMRP16/03/17 10:02 PM
1

"Relationship strategy" Now we're getting somewhere. If you've got some practical ideas on how I can improve myself or my relationship, that is something I genuinely want to hear. And if they are good ideas, you'll have my respect.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/17 11:39 PM
2

His post says worldwide 50% quota. Current in US is 20%. I think we have a bit of time before the apocalypse arrives.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/17 01:57 PM
3

How is posting on MRP trying to change the system? Maybe he can organize a national "Day Without RP Men" to really show the country how vital we are. Reality is what it is. How things "should" be has got nothing to do with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/17 01:53 PM
4

Everything about your post screams victim. If a woman wrote a screed about a book called Manipulated Woman filled with arguments about how society is stacked against women, you'd call it victim posturing. If you feel threatened by the most responsible teenager in the house, then you've got work to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/17 01:47 PM
1

Checking in on my lifting progress. After changing over to GSLP (with chin-up plug in) and upping my calories (I added two mass gainer shakes a day), I'm seeing better progress on my lifts, but am also packing on some fat. I realized today that I'm about a week away from hitting "intermediate" level on all lifts according to symmetricstrength.com, which was my first long-term goal. Still a long way to go, but it's satisfying to finally be showing some results. I'm also at 20% BF, as confirmed bo…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/17 12:58 AM
12

I'm sorry you feel like such a powerless victim. Personally, I think this a very good time to be a man. The world is what it is, people are what they are, and there's nothing any of us can do to control any of that, except focus on improving ourselves. I read Manipulated Man. It cranked my anger level up to 11 for a while. But eventually you just have to moved ahead with life. For the record, though, there is no effort to set gender quotas for politicians at any level of government, as people ar…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/17 12:18 AM
5

Never thought about it before, but this really explains in an obvious way why women are attracted to alphas with frame. Who would you rather have with you on the playing field/battle field - a really nice guy who makes sure the gear is kept organized and clean and is always eager to hear about how your day is going? Or the asshole who knows his shit, is hell on the other team, and has your back when the chips are down? It's not even a question, right? So why would a woman on the prehistoric sava…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 04:25 AM
13

I can't tell from your post if you already know this, but guys saying nasty shit they don't mean is a shit test. Guys shit test each other constantly, and for roughly the same reason women do - to evaluate strength. That's why it especially appears in barracks and locker rooms. Men who must compete as a team are evaluating character and strength by shit testing each other. Just as with women, if you take it literally and defend yourself, you fail.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 01:58 AM
6

For fucks sake, how many times can you complain in one thread that you didn't get a chance to finish your Netflix documentary?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/17 10:21 PM
4

Defend, Explain, Excuse, Rationalize (or words to that effect. If you're DEERing, you're in her frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/17 10:15 PM
3

Why are you DEERing in a text? It's no coincidence that that's the spark that set her off.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/17 07:08 PM
7

Uh, no. You've definitely got a lot of anger, dude.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/17 01:54 PM
6

Other options: Ticket for one to a concert. Drop her off at the park to hit tennis balls alone. Rent a hall where she can renew her wedding vows alone. Romantic dinner for one. Ballroom dancing classes solo.
/r/askMRP13/03/17 05:03 AM
2

Some days better than others. Can you even imagine a man - even a blue pill beta - writing an open letter about how to deal with his outbursts? Only a woman would assume the world needs this vital information. Men know instinctively that nobody's gonna deal with their emotional bullshit.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/17 04:55 AM
4

She still sounds like a self-entitled bitch to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/17 07:32 PM
11

"Red Pill" is literally a metaphor taken from a movie.
/r/askMRP11/03/17 02:16 PM
4

You're reading GEB to your wife as a bedtime story? I've seen some weird shit on this sub, but that may be the weirdest.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/17 09:52 PM
1

So which is harder to quit?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/17 09:49 PM
1

This isn't exactly an OYS post, just a recent event. For stupid reasons, I decided to call out wife yesterday on her general lack of affection - sex, but more generally on just being a complete bitch all of the time. It was all very calm. No ultimatums of any sort, but I made it clear that I didn't want to live this way anymore. I've done this before with no good results, so just a weak, stupid moment. Wife responded by walking silently to the kids room (they were asleep) and crouching at the fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/17 07:58 PM
6

Yeah. When the dust settles, OP will realize that he is much better off with a wife who uses a dildo to get herself off than with a wife who would rather not express her sexuality at all.
/r/askMRP08/03/17 07:47 PM
3

There actually is a way to deliberately practice frame, as in "I'm going to work on my frame for the next hour" kind of thing. You could even track it in a loose way. I was going to do a separate post on this, but I'll just note it here: Make your environment respond to you. So whatever environment you're in at any given moment - with people, at a work meeting, driving, even sitting alone - you don't respond to your environment. Instead, you make your environment respond to you. So instead of le…
/r/askMRP08/03/17 07:44 PM
1

You're fat, dude.
/r/askMRP08/03/17 01:46 PM
24

Devastating. [respectful silence] Time to move forward.
/r/askMRP07/03/17 09:40 PM
1

I mean I'm walking around all day scheming on how to have sex pretty much every waking moment. Just like I did when I was 16.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/17 09:14 PM
1

Yeah, it prompted me to subconsciously recalculate his hierarchical status among the group as well
/r/askMRP07/03/17 06:31 PM
1

Second homework assignment: Go to airport this week. No preconditions - just get there and whatever happens, happens.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/17 03:39 PM
1

First homework assignment: Identify some practice fields. The ultimate goal is gaming women, but I'll be practicing on all kinds of people - old, young, men, women, etc. I'll practice on everyone that I meet, but I don't actually run into that many people in a normal day, so I need some places where I'm guaranteed to run into a large number of strangers. Here's what I've come up with so far: Airport. I live pretty close to one, and there's an endless supply of people just sitting around and wait…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/17 03:37 PM
2

Pretty sure I'm owning my shit just as it kicks over to another week, but what the fuck. I realized this last week that I've been avoiding the most important part of running my MAP, and that is gaming other women. I guess I secretly thought that wife would come around just based on lifting, frame and pulling my shit together, but it's time to face the fact that she may NEVER come around, and I need to start developing other options. I basically don't have a clue how to game women. I mean, I've r…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/17 05:05 AM
6

With that first rule in place, this month is going to be a COMPLETELY different challenge for men whose wives are DTF versus those who are in a dry spell. I feel like a mother fucking sixteen year old.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/03/17 04:34 AM
2

My wife is entering menopause. Looking forward to reading.
/r/askMRP06/03/17 06:34 PM
1

The fact that she never says it means nothing. The fact that it bothers you so much that she never says it speaks volumes. If I understand your post, you actually complained to her about the fact that she won't say I love you. That's an extreme DLV. Putting pussy on a pedestal is bad enough, but you've managed to put her willingness to emit certain sounds from her mouth on a pedestal. At this point, she's lording it over you just to fuck with you. Shit test. My wife literally never says it. The …
/r/askMRP06/03/17 06:25 PM
2

Make her DTF girl 3.
/r/askMRP06/03/17 02:08 PM
2

Ten bucks says he doesn't answer.
/r/askMRP05/03/17 06:10 PM
1

Two hour bike ride.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/17 06:02 PM
1

I talk a good game, but truth is my wife is still pretty cold. She's a good roommate and good partner raising the kids, but no genuine affection. Still routinely pushes me away when I go in for a kiss or a hug. Sex is still pretty infrequent. Honestly hasn't bothered me so much lately because I've been enjoying my own progress. I've got a chick at work who's making it clear that she's DTF, and getting IOIs from randos that I don't follow up on. I guess I thought wife would come around by this st…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/17 01:45 AM
1

Cleaned the shed, purged my closet, and shaved all the hair off my body. Feels good, man!
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/17 01:19 AM
1

Gotta be honest, I thought this was pretty cheesy, but I did it and I'm grateful. Took the family out to the batting cages and then mini golf - first time for all of us. Had a blast. Wife was a total bitch at first and almost derailed the whole thing, but ended up coming around. Good challenge.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/17 04:35 PM
0

Still not sure about the 90 days part, but good post -I'm fucking pumped.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/17 04:32 PM
2

How the fuck can you make that guarantee?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/17 03:10 PM
3

DB for six years, and meanwhile your closing strange right and left. At what point do you decide your wife just isn't gonna come around?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/17 01:05 AM
0

Who is Roissy?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/17 09:38 PM
2

Why bring it up? Let her bring it up if she still wants to discuss it. I gotta say, the incident you describe seems pretty minor to me. Mom is in a bad mood, so she says goodnight in a cold voice and shuts the door.
/r/askMRP03/03/17 04:14 PM
1

Commented above, but I'll chime in officially here. Despite being married with kids and social friends, I live a lonely life. I have talents and abilities and a latent capacity for leadership that somehow never get expressed in the world. I don't want to die without ever finding out what those could have been. It's a kind of fear that holds me back. Fear of failure, sure, but also fear of success. The thought of putting myself out there and really stirring up people to follow my lead scares the …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/17 07:21 PM
2

This is mine too. I can tell you exactly how to tackle it, but it's not easy. You feel this way because you aren't taking any risks. You're playing it too safe, and as a result you don't feel anything. I don't know you, so I don't know which risks you're avoiding. Could be professional - stuck in a safe job that you hate. Could be personal - afraid to approach the people who truly inspire and attract you. Could be physical - afraid to skydive, or go survival camping, or otherwise risk the possib…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/17 03:48 PM
4

I think this is a bigger problem for you than you realize. A man with obstacles can always aspire to overcome them. But a man who can no longer even conceive of any new challenge to inspire him can never grow. I can't imagine ever feeling this way, even in theory. How can you read the life of Theodore Roosevelt, for example, and not be inspired to tackle new challenges?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/17 03:36 PM
3

Pick one physical (eating, exercise, activity), one mental (choose something to learn), and one social (friends, family, strangers).
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/17 05:23 AM
8

So find a project you want to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/17 01:24 PM
2

Seconded. I thought Models was great.
/r/askMRP22/02/17 05:33 PM
8

Do what you want, but your pretty, fit woman with a nice figure is going to have a hell of a lot easier time getting laid than you ever will, so you might think it through before you open things up.
/r/askMRP22/02/17 02:59 AM
0

Right. You just posted a fifteen paragraph manifesto on how you've been tracking your wife's period on your phone for the last year, to the point that you know it better than she does. Definitely not obsessing. Give one example of how knowledge of her cycle should impact how you interact with her.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 11:14 PM
-3

I thought for sure this post was a joke when I saw it, but I guess you're serious. You write: "When I got home from work, she clearly had an angry look on her face. I give her a kiss, say hello, how are you, she just says… fine. Ok, in my relationship “Fine” does not mean fine. As I sat on the couch, without any further dialogue, I open the FLO app and it’s telling me 5 days until the cycle resets and day 1 of her period begins." So. Fucking. What. I'm glad you no longer hound her with 30 questi…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/17 06:36 PM
5

So is this "any guy could do this, it just takes work," or would you say you've got some natural advantages working for you? No bullshit, please.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/17 10:22 PM
1

This is me. Almost everything you've written resonates. How did you overcome analysis paralysis? And what did you think of CBT?
/r/askMRP16/02/17 03:10 PM
1

This is probably my own unresolved anger issues coming out, but if she's offered sex only three times in 1.5 years, and doesn't even have a job, then why offer any comfort at all? What the hell is she giving you?
/r/askMRP15/02/17 07:55 PM
2

Take out "sorry" while you're at it.
/r/askMRP15/02/17 07:53 PM
5

This reads exactly like the plot of sitcom with a fat, goofy husband and the capable wife. Does your life come with a laugh track?
/r/askMRP15/02/17 01:04 AM
7

Fuck off, then, I don't give a shit. But don't drag your passive aggressive bullshit into this sub.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/17 12:57 AM
5

Disagree. No woman offers to let her husband sleep around unless she is dead certain that he's not capable of doing it.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/17 12:48 AM
2

That'll kickstart the tingles for sure.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/17 12:46 AM
8

I'm not getting it. She says that she doesn't want to sleep with you much in the future and you have to leave if you won't accept it. You respond by . . . accepting it. So why bring it up in the first place?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/17 07:27 PM
0

You have (at least) two problems. First, you think the problem here is your snowflake wife. Trust us when we say that everything you're describing is utterly routine for all women. Second, you care what your wife thinks because you're trying to be her friend, so you want to share ideas with her. That's just not going to work. Bonus third problem: It's pretty clear from what you describe that she doesn't find you attractive. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
/r/askMRP13/02/17 06:55 PM
3

This is me right now. I've disentangled myself from her frame. I know that I can and should pull her into my frame. But I just don't want to. I'm not angry, just sort of bored with the whole thing.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/17 06:32 PM
3

The fact that this bothers you tells me that you really do have a covert contract going. IF you're doing things for yourself, it shouldn't matter how she responds. Some examples: I like a clean house. So I keep it clean. Doesn't make any difference if she appreciates it. Raising my kids is a priority, so I provide for them and take care of them. Doesn't make any difference if she appreciates it. I want to be strong and healthy, so I lift. Doesn't make any difference if she appreciates it. Now, I…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/17 06:21 PM
3

I think the problem you'll run into is that the natural reaction to your providing value - assuming you mean doing things for her - is that you will be less attractive in her eyes, not more. She's not going to want to freely give to you because you were so nice to her - exactly the opposite. Unless "providing value" simply means being an awesome, desirable man. But you seem to mean actually doing things for each other.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/17 03:32 PM
2

I'm having trouble distinguishing your scenario where you both give constantly without any sense of obligation from a BP fantasy where you are a nice a guy to your wife and she appreciates it and is good to you in return. You're going to say the difference is that there's no covert contract in your version, but if you had to tell her this was your vision, then . . . .
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/17 02:35 PM
1

A stone is 14 pounds? So 189 lbs. You're either ripped as fuck, or overweight. I'm guessing the latter. I don't think you can say anything definitive about your relationship until you solve that issue.
/r/askMRP11/02/17 08:09 PM
1

So how about some objective data. Height. Weight. Lifts.
/r/askMRP11/02/17 06:11 PM
2

What do you look like? She's obviously not attracted to you.
/r/askMRP11/02/17 03:02 PM
2

I'm anti-peck. My wife does this. I go for some genuine display of affection and instead get this bullshit. I AA it by grabbing a feel during the kiss, which usually prompts her to break it off. Then I laugh or wink and move on. She laughs in response.
/r/askMRP10/02/17 12:22 AM
7

Sex is once a month or less. She knows damn well you don't miss her.
/r/askMRP09/02/17 04:47 AM
4

So a woman's magazine written for women reports that women say . . . . Sounds legit.
/r/askMRP09/02/17 04:42 AM
3

"Zero comfort is the number 1 reason for divorce." You got a source? That strikes me as wildly unlikely.
/r/askMRP09/02/17 03:37 AM
3

Here's another clarifying question: If you knew that she wasn't attracted to you and never will be again no matter what you do - she's flat out never getting back with you - would you still want to go? If so, go. If not, not.
/r/askMRP07/02/17 07:22 PM
1

True, but not in the way that you mean. If he's done and wants to get divorced, then he should go. Why not? Fun with the kids. But if he wants to win her back somehow, then the last thing he should do is go on the trip.
/r/askMRP07/02/17 07:20 PM
1

The answer to your question is yes, you have an uphill battle.
/r/askMRP07/02/17 02:16 PM
6

You're not making a mountain out a molehill. Assuming you're not otherwise a slob, I'd say asking that she not scream at you and throw your coat down the stairs is a reasonable boundary to draw. But . . . you've chosen a strategy for enforcing it that just doesn't work, as you've now discovered. The problem lurking under every attempt to enforce a boundary is the question, what if she says no? If you don't think it out in advance, it's easy to wind up in a no-win situation. You're obviously not …
/r/askMRP06/02/17 11:53 PM
1

I think I'd rather he not get into the details.
/r/askMRP05/02/17 06:47 PM
1

I'd like to read your whole post. It's brutal, but it's nothing that most guys haven't muttered to themselves in the dark of night.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/17 03:44 PM
2

"It is only when you truly let go of the outcome that you achieve the outcome you wanted." Sorry, but this sentence shows that you're still not there. Now you're trying to use OI as a way to engender a response from her.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/17 03:39 PM
2

I've wrestled with this demon for most of my life, so I can really relate. I don't have any answers or advice, though, other than to try to channel it into self-improvement rather than self-destruction. Not knocking anyone, as I know everyone in this thread is offering sincere advice, but it's eye-opening to see how people who've never dealt with this have no clue what it's like.
/r/askMRP04/02/17 01:43 AM
1

Agreed. OP, your next post should be about lifting and diet progress. Until that's under control, the rest of this is just spinning your wheels.
/r/askMRP03/02/17 07:24 PM
3

I guess you're right. Went through that phase myself, in my own way. One day I realized that she might have a shitty attitude because of her cycle, or maybe she's hungry, or didn't sleep well last night, or is getting sick, or ten thousand other random things that have nothing to do with me and that aren't connected to anything happening in the real world. And I understood that it's a fool's mission to spend any more time worrying about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/17 01:11 AM
3

No, she puts him down because she's hoping he will just blow it off and be the rock. But agree with your advice.
/r/askMRP02/02/17 08:53 PM
0

Can't I just skip the app and jump ahead to the bottom line, which is that it's a waste of time and effort to worry about what she "does or doesn't like"?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 08:35 PM
2

Damn, dude. Be careful with that shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 04:40 AM
4

Well, your watching for it now, so if she is it'll become clear to you in time. Good luck.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 04:31 AM
17

I'm seeing so many attaboy responses here and now it's pissing me off. Can no one else see the blatant manipulation here? OP once tried to kill himself. Wife knows this and doubtless knows that it's a sensitive topic. OP dares to not do the dishes one morning. Wife erupts into a text shit storm, demands that OP bring up the topic for discussion himself that evening (power move by her). He obeys. She launches into two hours of ranting - which he listens to - before finally deciding that he's had …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 01:48 AM
2

The point of the alternative was to illustrate what a response looks like that's your frame, not hers.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 01:38 AM
1

Give me a break. That Jack10 post is great, but it's not applicable to OP. His post was addressed to a guy who had some shit together, was in his own frame, and was leaving his wife emotionally behind. Meanwhile, OPs big act of defiance was one time not doing the dishes for his SAHM.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 01:36 AM
1

Right. Actions, not words. And OPs actions were telling her that he'll do exactly what she wants so long as she pushes the right button. And that his words - "I'm going upstairs until you speak to me with respect" - are meaningless and can be safely ignored. She turned him like a puppet on a string.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 01:30 AM
5

Drew a line? Punish bad behavior? He rewarded her behavior. He was going to leave, she "crossed a line" and he responded by stopping, going back to her, having a deep emotional conversation with her, taking her problems seriously, etc. Why do you think she threatened to kill herself - over dishes! - in the first place? Because she knew exactly which button to push, and he responded exactly as she intended. I guarantee you this is going to turn into a recurring theme now. Drawing a line and enfor…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 01:26 AM
3

So much bullshit hamstering in this post, including your lessons learned. If you need more than a handful of words to describe the problem and solution, you're on the wrong track. In this case: Huge shit test; I failed it miserably by taking her shit seriously; lesson learned-STFU already. Everything about this post is in her frame. How many paragraphs can you waste spinning out the deep emotional currents washing through her heart and spirit? It's like listening to a circle of women regarding a…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/17 11:09 PM
2

FYI, your mission statement and your conclusion are all about her, not you. Why is that?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/17 05:33 AM
3

I don't even understand the issue here. She says some things - so what? Why say anything at all? Unless it manifests in some conduct that actually matters to you - which you haven't described - then honestly what difference does it make?
/r/askMRP01/02/17 12:48 AM
1

I would think it over some. I saw a romantic comedy once where the guy met a girl but then had a really hard time with commitment and then there was a crazy miscommunication and he lost the girl but then he was playing sports with his buddies and realized how much he missed her and he ran to the airport and said "you complete me" and won her back and it all worked out. I wish I could remember the name because you should watch it.
/r/askMRP31/01/17 04:06 AM
3

Are you practicing what you preach, or are you spending money on stuff you want? You can lay down the rule, but you also need to lead by example.
/r/askMRP31/01/17 03:58 AM
4

She's denying you sex because she's not attracted to you. I'm having trouble seeing how your solution would help the situation.
/r/askMRP31/01/17 03:53 AM
2

To all the lurkers thinking that this doesn't work for them, you have to make yourself awesome enough for her to care if you withdraw.
/r/askMRP31/01/17 03:50 AM
19

Had a friend die. His kids played with my kids. Same social circle. Felt like a hole had been ripped in the fabric of the universe that could never be repaired. Two weeks later, everyone had moved on. Life is for the living. That's just how it is.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/17 10:16 PM
1

Is this sarcasm? If OP wants to head to the beach and there's no kids involved, he should do it.
/r/askMRP30/01/17 02:44 AM
2

This is the answer. Everyone's talking about her. The question is, what does OP think about what he's doing? The vibe I'm getting is that OP is ashamed of it, which is why this is turning him into knots. He thinks the standard his wife is setting for him is actually the correct standard.
/r/askMRP30/01/17 02:40 AM
17

Who are these women that cave so easily? None of this would phase my wife in the least.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/17 05:28 AM
1

I told my wife in a calm moment that the next time it happens we're on the road to divorce. I meant it. It worked.
/r/askMRP28/01/17 05:16 PM
5

What do you look like? This reads completely different if you're fit and lean or overweight and balding.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/17 07:59 PM
6

Do you really need to verbally articulate the boundary that you won't tolerate her sending nude pics to another man? Sometimes, the act of stating what should be an obvious boundary only weakens it.
/r/askMRP27/01/17 07:48 PM
3

You can't take anything she says at face value. She's trying to pick you up (congrats) but the specific things she says are just random compliments.
/r/askMRP27/01/17 04:50 AM
11

I can relate to your wife. I hate Trump. To me, he spits on everything I value - honor, integrity, love of country. I can't understand how anyone can watch him dishonor the Presidency and not feel ashamed that he represents our country to the world. BUT, I also realized that most voters were forced to choose between two bad candidates, that just because someone voted for Trump doesn't mean that they agree with everything he does, and that it's even possible that I might be wrong about the guy. A…
/r/askMRP23/01/17 07:17 PM
5

Check out the OYS thread. You'll find a hundred different ways of doing it. Just pick one as a model and adapt it to fit your situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/17 05:16 AM
35

ManUpNoExcuses => ". . . but I love drinking." Thanks for the laugh.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/17 05:08 AM
2

Give me a fucking break. His wife deserves a gold star for sticking with him this long. Hopefully he'll turn things around.
/r/askMRP23/01/17 02:29 AM
2

You're 110 pounds overweight. Are you planning to deal with that? I don't see it in your post.
/r/askMRP23/01/17 12:10 AM
3

How exactly has he been wronged? He's 110 pounds overweight and has been completely ignoring his home and finances. He's not even a good beta, much less an alpha. I'm not sure what else he really expects.
/r/askMRP23/01/17 12:07 AM
7

Tell everyone to call you Rick in front of her. This whole thing is stupid, but if it really bothers you, your only winning move is to convince her that you truly do not GAF about it by embracing it.
/r/askMRP22/01/17 06:03 AM
12

It's a shit test, Rick. It never ends.
/r/askMRP22/01/17 04:08 AM
1

Why wait until tonight?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/17 08:19 PM
3

If you're saying you're not getting enough sex, I'd start with the obvious stuff first: What do you look like?
/r/askMRP21/01/17 08:16 PM
1

You keep saying "beta me would have ..." but you still sound pretty beta to me.
/r/askMRP20/01/17 09:25 PM
1

Because she doesn't know the combination, I assume.
/r/askMRP19/01/17 07:28 PM
1

We also have no idea if FRs are real, if they work, etc. It's all just words on a screen. Everybody's different, but to me there's a certain power to seeing something visually unfold on a screen that you don't get from reading. Not saying it's better, just different. For example, take Pacino's character in Scent of a Woman. Like I said, the movie itself is pretty bad in places, but the extended sequence in which he takes the kid to NY is an outstanding example of planning in acton. You don't see…
/r/askMRP19/01/17 03:28 PM
4

Does he respect you enough to follow your lead even if he's skeptical at first? Or does he just think of you as another clueless soul? A lot of shit on this board looks completely retarded at first glance. If he trusts you enough, he might get past that on your rec alone. If not, might be better to start with a "softer" intro like NMMNG, which I think strikes a chord with a lot of guys without seeming over the top.
/r/askMRP19/01/17 03:12 AM
2

Not sure why you're getting beat up over this. Seems like a perfectly reasonable question to me. My thoughts: Ray (the Ray Charles biopic with Jamie Foxx). Surprisingly Red Pill. I remember watching it years ago and thinking, "Wow, Ray Charles was really an asshole." Now I watch it and think, "Wow, Ray Charles was a badass RP motherfucker." Half his songs are literally about spinning plates. Gran Turino. Clint Eastwood is old, but his role in this movie is classic RP. Scent of a Woman. Al Pacino…
/r/askMRP19/01/17 12:42 AM
2

I don't disagree with the sentiment of the post, but unless "alpha" means everything good and "beta" means everything bad, it's not correct to say that adding value is an especially red pill idea. In fact, "providing value to others" is almost the textbook definition of beta behavior.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/17 04:46 AM
0

Maybe, but probably not. I economize this as something I sometimes do and I see a lot of guys do, which is imagine that my wife's issues are uniquely bad. Obviously, some women are different than others. But until you've run your map, you really don't know how she'll respond.
/r/askMRP17/01/17 12:59 AM
3

I can tell you're struggling and I don't like to kick someone who is down, but your problem is obvious, and so is the solution. You're fat, and you've got to lose the weight. That doesn't make you a loser, it doesn't make you weak. I'm not someone who sees weight in moral terms. But it is the hard reality.
/r/askMRP16/01/17 06:28 PM
1

You're drifting off the track there at the end. Yes, it's your fault, but not in a "put her on a pedestal she can do no wrong I've failed her" sense, which is the vibe I'm getting here. She's stressed - so what? It's not your job to fix her stress, and it's not within your control anyway. And you're not trying to earn her respect. You can't control whether she respects you. And if you've had a dead bedroom for two years, then who gives a fuck what she thinks? You're goal is to earn your own self…
/r/askMRP13/01/17 07:22 PM
5

NMMNG
/r/askMRP13/01/17 03:39 AM
1

That's true, but I don't accept any of it as true until I see it verified in my own life.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/17 06:05 PM
4

Like anything else, I'm open to evidence. But so few people have ever tried to go from BP to RP, I'm not sure how we can really know what's possible.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/17 06:06 AM
8

Other than your own personal failure, what evidence do you have that any of this is true?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/17 12:58 AM
1

Sex is gonna be a long haul, but you should have little trouble solving this kind of bullshit if you read the sidebar. It's completely within your control.
/r/askMRP11/01/17 02:08 PM
2

"You have sexy tits and I want to fuck them" isn't flirting, it's flat out creepy. What you want to do instead is tease her. Doesn't even have to be sexual. Just make fun of her in a joking way. Compliments are not flirting. That shit is boring or creepy. Flirting is about teasing insults.
/r/askMRP10/01/17 05:32 AM
3

Nice going. Now we'll never get to read Part 3.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/17 05:09 AM
6

Tough spot, but in my opinion your top priority and the North Star for all future decisions should be your self-respect. Only you can decide what that means, but whatever you do, don't compromise on that.
/r/askMRP09/01/17 06:58 PM
1

Is the pickling just for taste or does it help preservation somehow?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/17 08:18 PM
10

Something does not add up. Your wife is a 9/10. You say you could get a younger, hotter version tomorrow if you had to. But you're freaking out - not because another guy looked at your wife, but only because your wife said he looked at her. My guess is that this guy has no idea who your wife is, but she's attracted to him and is fantasizing the whole thing. She mentioned it to you because she friend-zoned you a long time ago.
/r/askMRP08/01/17 08:15 PM
4

I just read through all of your kind, thoughtful, cheerful responses to comments on this thread. And you are right, you really are a people pleaser. That can be a great skill if you control it, but it's out of control. You should set a goal of deliberately pissing people off for a while, just to stretch your muscles a bit.
/r/askMRP07/01/17 12:45 AM
5

Don't take this the wrong way, but how "gorgeous" can a 36 year old mother of two really be? Need to take of those wife goggles.
/r/askMRP07/01/17 12:39 AM
3

This is exactly right - she's vulnerable and is shit testing to regain power. That means what you're doing is working. So keep your foot on the gas. The shit tests will get more intense for a while, but eventually she'll realize it's not working and will try a different strategy - like showing you some affection.
/r/askMRP07/01/17 12:28 AM
5

What?!? That took a weird left turn at the end. Your new meditation is still completely based on whathat she wants. "I thought she wanted me to please her, but now I realize she wants me to stand up to her, so that's what I'll do." Fuck that - just forget about what she wants, and do what you want for a while and see what happens. I've got news for you - a 36 year old woman with two small kids and no job isn't going to leave you because you decide to hang out moe at the gym.
/r/askMRP07/01/17 12:25 AM
2

Have you read it? It's not about manipulation, nor is it at all advanced. It has one whole chapter on smiling. Another chapter covers calling people by name. It's exactly what OP needs.
/r/askMRP03/01/17 06:17 PM
1

No bench?
/r/askMRP31/12/16 07:51 PM
2

Feels like your glossing over something here. Your wife's reaction is pretty extreme if all you've done is slowly become unattractive.
/r/askMRP30/12/16 10:05 PM
2

What if there is nothing you can do to make your wife lose weight? What would you do then?
/r/askMRP30/12/16 06:54 PM
4

Good post, but the bit about Biden is a debunked conspiracy theory . . . .
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/16 09:02 PM
3

Yeah, I know. My question was mostly rhetorical, but in this case it all seems a bit absurd. She won't say these words. Instead, she'll ask her brother to recommend a book to her husband that contains these words.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/16 04:00 AM
6

I know the world doesn't work this way, but I'm not sure why: Why can't your sister take her husband aside and tell him, "You're turning into a pussy and I'm about to lose what little sexual attraction I have left for you. For both our sakes, please man up."
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/16 01:09 AM
1

Agree that MMSL is a good book that stands on its own. Might be a little weird though because it's built around getting more sex from your wife (i.e., OPs sisters).
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/16 01:05 AM
1

Everyone else has already said it, but I feel a moral obligation to weigh in as well. I was in a situation sort of like yours (not 225 though). I guilted over it and dragged it out, and then finally just literally moved out while she was away for a trip and never looked back. Best. Decision. I. Ever. Made.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/12/16 02:33 AM
2

Ok. Carry on then.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/16 10:38 PM
2

I probably lost the plot, but wasn't McQueen's original complaint that pathetic noob posts were being deleted? I recall a debate about whether anyone could actually learn something from a noob, etc. Seems to me that everyone who is grateful for getting blasted here, including me, is only reinforcing the value of leaving the shit up so the community can weigh in. Explaining in detail exactly why some clueless is a faggot is a useful way to solidify your own understanding.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/16 09:19 PM
2

"Not acceptable"? WTF did I just read?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/12/16 09:37 PM
8

I agree, but not sure why this discussion keeps devolving into a fight over the mods. The whole community is acting this way. My theory: people see themselves in the noob posts, and it repulses them. We all want to kick the crap out of our former selves. Trashing the noobs is the closest we can get. Pretty sure almost every comment I've posted here I was really talking to myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/16 08:18 AM
3

This is why we need a weekly open bullshit thread. Sometimes people just want to share an experience that no one else in their life can understand.
/r/askMRP20/12/16 01:37 AM
5

Ok list, but I'm worried you're still doing it for the wrong reasons. Don't do these things to save your marriage or make a point or spark the right reaction. All that stuff is outside your control. Do these things to break the mental link to your wife and improve yourself, for yourself. That's 100% under your control. Find yourself -just you, yourself - and then build from there. I would read MMSL and MAP. Seems like they've fallen out of favor here, but I think they're solid.
/r/askMRP19/12/16 09:09 PM
2

I agree with everyone who says STFU and stop talking about what you're going to do and just do it. I'll also add that if you were really taking ownership of the conflict, then you wouldn't be fishing around for an apology from her.
/r/askMRP19/12/16 05:16 AM
3

Exactly. This is my problem with all of the men's rights/women suck advocacy that surrounds TRP. The world is what it is. Raging that the world isn't a Disney movie isn't really any different than believing that it is.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/16 11:15 PM
2

My wife is like this. I've been working MRP for a year and while other things have improved, this has not changed much. Maybe never will. BUT in your case, it's probably just a bullshit excuse. These a huge incentive to decide that it's really not your fault, that your wife is a snowflake with special problems, that the usual solutions won't work for you so you don't have to put in the work. Is it possible? I guess, maybe. But it's much more likely that she just doesn't feel any attraction to yo…
/r/askMRP18/12/16 11:07 PM
2

Try "My Way."
/r/askMRP17/12/16 02:56 PM
2

What did you do to set her off? Her reaction is so extreme it feels like you're glossing over something. Poison the cat?
/r/askMRP15/12/16 07:37 PM
4

This is a follow up to my post asking for feedback on my first year of lifting. The consensus was that my results were not great, and I agree. Starting tonight, I've switched to a new program. I'm going with GSLP - basically Stronglifts, except 3 sets instead of 5, third set is as many reps as possible, and add in pull-ups as a third lift. This is a lot less volume then I'm used to, but hopefully I'll see better results with increasing the weights. I'm also going to really pack in the protein. I…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/16 05:23 AM
2

Like the song says, "Shit tests flowing everywhere like rain into a paper cup. . ." Might as well count grains of sand on the beach.
/r/askMRP15/12/16 12:39 AM
1

Sixteen is too old and too fucked up to make much of a difference. Just be there and be a force for stability and sanity, without expecting any thanks or cooperation from either son or mom. Best case, you can try to develop a relationship after he's an adult.
/r/askMRP14/12/16 05:20 AM
2

You're right. You're way of phrasing it is better than mine.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/16 10:03 PM
4

Well, it depends, right? Doing something with the purpose of creating a more attractive impression on someone else isn't inherently the same as losing frame. You brush your teeth and wear decent clothes, for example. I think the difference is, are you doing it just for validation (no frame) or are you doing it as part of a calculated strategy to get something you want (frame)? I admit it's a gray area, though.
/r/askMRP13/12/16 09:58 PM
7

OP is getting some grief, but I think it depends on exactly what doing the dishes means here. If "doing the dishes" is part of "your shit," then I agree that owning your shit can be a reasonable strategy for getting sex. If "doing the dishes" is really her shit but she's too lazy to do it, then trying to somehow own her shit won't work.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/16 07:38 PM
9

Your praise and approval is the reward. Your problem is that your praise and approval don't mean anything to her right now. So fix that.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/16 07:33 PM
2

This is the right answer. You need to improve to the point that you transcend this bullshit.
/r/askMRP13/12/16 07:28 PM
4

You're mixing two different questions, which is the root of your confusion. One question is, is it DLV.? The other question is, should you still do it even if it is a DLV? Question 2 is debatable, but the answer to Question 1 is clearly yes.
/r/askMRP13/12/16 07:03 PM
1

Right, not hitting the reps.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/16 05:49 AM
1

I hit 1gram per pound, using whey powder. I do the same on increasing weights, reps - except that I hit a plateau about six months ago and further progress is like watching the grass grow. Glad to hear about the running, as I get a lot of benefit from it and would prefer to keep it up.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/16 11:59 PM
2

Flys, curls, calf raises - I guess I'm one of those guys. So cut those and focus just on the compounds. Daily TDEE is around 2400. I hit the protein (1 gram per pound) and then basically eat anything else I want. When I "bulked" I probably went overboard on the calories. I'm dropping it back off now and then starting again.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/16 11:56 PM
2

Thanks. Good reality check.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/16 11:51 PM
1

Love Alan Thrall. But to be honest, I'm not sure I want to end up looking like Alan Thrall. But will check him out again.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/16 11:50 PM
2

Thanks, much appreciated. I have read the fuckarounditis article a few times. The problem is you can read the damn thing and somehow never realize it applies to you. But after a year, the numbers don't lie. I'm going to rethink my routine.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/16 11:47 PM
2

It's all wasted years in the long run, so I take it in stride. If the consensus is that I can do a lot better, that's good news to me, not bad. My long term goal is around 175 lbs at 12% BF. Not huge, but muscular. Brad Pitt in Fight Club. The sort of older guy who looks like maybe he could kick your ass, but also has a frame that looks good in a tuxedo. I'm not interested in looking like an offensive lineman - more like a wide receiver or QB. Or a swimmer. I've got the image in my head - hopefu…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/16 11:42 PM
5

Do you have to ask? He's not outgoing, doesn't kino, and refuses to dread because it's weak and boring. And he treats her like an acquaintance.
/r/askMRP10/12/16 04:28 PM
2

Have you read MMSL? This is literally the first thing in the book and the bedrock foundation of MRP: You MUST act first, because if she's not attracted to you, then there's nothing she can do about.
/r/askMRP10/12/16 04:24 PM
2

Nice job. Is there room for a compromise, like drop by S early to show your face, but then take off for home the rest of the evening? A holiday tradition centered on your kids makes a lot of sense to me.
/r/askMRP09/12/16 06:53 PM
2

I'm referring to your text exchange with your wife. She's highly articulate - vocabulary, nuanced expression, able to outwit you at every turn, and so good at it that she doesn't even feel the need to rub your face in it. No, I'm not saying you need to be more articulate. I'm saying the exact opposite. You're never going to match her on that field of battle. If you say youve taught her about meeting people, I'll have to take your word for it. Maybe you just don't express yourself well in writing…
/r/askMRP09/12/16 03:32 PM
2

Wild guess, does she have a history of abuse?
/r/askMRP09/12/16 05:39 AM
2

Like I said, do what you want. But heres the thing: Based on your post above, your wife is outclassing you. She's smarter, more articulate, more emotionally aware, more socially adept, and more mature than you. Just my opinion. You are never, ever going to get anywhere by competing with her at her game. The good news is that with the right leadership, she seems like the type who could be pretty awesome. Your best strategy is mixing in a lot more mystery and a lot more fun, and scale back the "al…
/r/askMRP09/12/16 05:26 AM
12

A million people will tell you to only text logistics. So I'll go after something else. First, your wife's description of your bullshit at the birthday party is almost a textbook example of how to destroy your social proof in front of your wife. Be a leader instead of sulking in the corner with your phone. Second, refuse to be with family on the holidays if you want, but don't fool yourself that it's attractive behavior in any way.
/r/askMRP08/12/16 07:54 PM
3

I'm not here to judge, but since you specifically ask me, I don't think it's right unless it's above board. Just my opinion. But obviously people should do whatever the fuck they want - I'm not the moral police. My original point was just to push back on the notion that OP is to blame in a moral sense for wife's cheating.
/r/askMRP08/12/16 03:33 PM
4

I agree. Losing attraction is understandable. Leaving the relationship is understandable. But cheating is wrong.
/r/askMRP08/12/16 06:07 AM
4

Read your post and felt a level of anger at your wife that I haven't felt for a long time. You should be fucking enraged.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/16 12:14 AM
2

This post is nothing more than a victim puke on behalf of someone else. Once you grasp AWALT, how many more examples do you need? At some point, you have to just let it go.
/r/askMRP07/12/16 07:15 AM
5

This is actually a fascinating question. What you are asking is whether it is possible to state the true basis of the marriage agreement in terms that are (1) acceptable to you, (2) acceptable to your wife, and (3) appropriate for sharing in a public celebration. The fact that you're struggling to come up with something tells you a great deal.
/r/askMRP02/12/16 09:25 PM
5

This is the right answer. What OP is doing sounds like passive aggressive bullshit to me, but he's divorcing her anyway, so let him have his moment.
/r/askMRP01/12/16 03:55 AM
1

Impossible to answer without knowing what you want. Save marriage? End it? Keep house? New start? Kids? Do you know what you want?
/r/askMRP30/11/16 03:34 PM
0

Source?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/16 03:32 PM
5

This is incorrect in almost every way. Businesses are founded on cooperation, not competition. True, businesses compete with each other. But most business interactions are between and among the employees of a single business, where cooperation is the norm. Corporation and cooperation share the same root for a reason - businesses are the way that modern humans cooperate for material success. And women are not "cooperative" by nature. Exactly the opposite. Men are cooperative by nature, I'd say, s…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/16 03:11 AM
2

Great post. Have a gnawing feeling that it applies to me . . . .
/r/askMRP29/11/16 02:53 AM
0

You say your not attractive yet. I'll take you at your word. In that case, I struggle to see how any "talk" is going to go well for you. You're sure not going to talk your way into being attractive to her. And if your not attractive to her, then you have zero leverage. Just keep your head down and keep improving yourself.
/r/askMRP28/11/16 05:05 AM
2

Two other possibilities: Maybe she's really unattractive Maybe he actually is RP already and just DNGAF about her bullshit
/r/askMRP20/11/16 02:40 PM
6

I don't know where you'll end up, but I can tell you exactly what the first two steps will be. First, you need to get in the gym, early and often, and lift like your life depends on it. Because it does. Don't just fit it in to your life. Nail it to the mast. Make your life about lifting and fit the rest around it. What could you accomplish if you poured your entire life force into lifting? Second, when you've learned to stand, you're going to have the mother of all anger phases. You're going to …
/r/askMRP19/11/16 06:46 AM
4

Whatever works. Just don't fall into the trap of getting validation from the reading instead of the doing. Actions not words.
/r/askMRP19/11/16 06:27 AM
8

This is humbling and inspiring at the same time. I see so much of myself in this, and yet see that I still have far to go.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/16 03:56 AM
3

"The first requisite of a gentleman is to be a perfect animal." Nietzsche
/r/askMRP18/11/16 01:22 AM
4

Beyond needy. I was exhausted just reading your post. Can't imagine how your wife must feel.
/r/askMRP13/11/16 11:06 PM
28

I thought women weren't allowed to post questions.
/r/askMRP11/11/16 01:29 AM
0

If she doesn't want to fuck you because she's not attracted to, how in the world do you think offering her a sundae is supposed to help?
/r/askMRP11/11/16 01:24 AM
3

I don't get it. You decided to divorce "after weeks of bad behavior"? I assume there's more to the story than that?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/16 06:49 PM
1

My bad then.
/r/askMRP07/11/16 09:20 PM
1

Couple questions: How will borrowing more money help your situation? Is it because you know deep down that you won't really have to repay it? Your wife was raised by multi-millionaire parents and is now living paycheck to paycheck and she's ok with this? Surely she has already said something to her parents, right? Is her degree in a field where you can expect her to earn real money after next year?
/r/askMRP07/11/16 09:15 PM
1

Congrats. I'm not sure you can say anything definitive about your wife's libido if you've been 20+ pounds overweight for much of your marriage.
/r/askMRP07/11/16 07:06 PM
1

I don't know your situations at all, but this is EXACTLY what a woman would say who is happily operating in her man's frame. She's not going to say "I do what he says." She's going to say "I do my own thing, and it just so happens by coincidence to be completely consistent with his frame." Which is perfectly fine, by the way.
/r/askMRP07/11/16 07:00 PM
1

Your problem is completely obvious - she's not attracted to you. Period. The sickness thing is a waste of time and a dead end. The stress thing sounds like a signal that you need to step up and do a better job of taking care of shit as the captain at home. What is she stressed about?
/r/askMRP07/11/16 06:52 PM
1

Go monk mode
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/16 02:59 PM
2

Well, I didn't mean it as an insult. The image in my mind is of Red and Andy shooting the shit in Shawshank Redemption, with maybe some Cool Hand Luke mixed in here and there.
/r/askMRP04/11/16 05:16 AM
4

That's a difference, but to me the biggest difference is something else. This may sound strange, but MRP reminds me of . . . a group of long-timers in a prison yard, trading stories and insults. Everyone here has been in the arena, and everyone here has failed and been beaten in one way or another, has accepted some painful truths about life and himself, and yet still stands. TRP is a bunch of kids in comparison.
/r/askMRP03/11/16 11:12 PM
24

Frankly, the main red pill sub really is something of a cesspool sometimes. A lot of low quality guys, especially in the comments, who aren't interested in facing their flaws or improving themselves. I'm not surprised a woman would be repulsed. I see MRP as a different animal.
/r/askMRP03/11/16 02:28 PM
4

While we're on the topic of books, why is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance listed in the sidebar? It's a great book, no doubt, but what does it have to do with MRP?
/r/askMRP02/11/16 02:42 AM
5

Here's two that have almost nothing to do with women but are pretty red pill in overall outlook. The Martian - the book that became the Matt Damon movie. Nothing to do with women or personal relationships, but everything to do with devoting yourself to your mission, solving problems, and testing yourself against the universe. Especially good if you're into science or engineering. Surely You Must Be Joking, Mr. Feynman - a collection of amusing autobiographical stories written by a Nobel prize wi…
/r/askMRP02/11/16 02:36 AM
8

Take a fresh look at what you just wrote. A person with frame would think something like this: u/saint_chalet agrees my wife should punch me, and wants to do so himself. That feedback surprises me. Maybe he has a point that I should consider. Or maybe he's full of shit, in which case I'll just ignore him. What you did instead was intense DEER-ing. It was 3am. My wife hit me. My kid was an asshole. I'm a REALLY good person. I contribute, college, friends, nice house. Your ego is obviously wrapped…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 06:52 PM
3

We test frame, sometimes harshly. Announcing in advance in a post that there's no need to test your frame because you've already got it together is usually a sign that you don't. Based on the level of DEERing in his post and his responses, OP clearly needs to work on his.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 06:42 PM
5

I'm confused. She didn't say no, she said let him cry it out, which is a perfectly reasonable suggestion. You disagree - fine - but at that point it's all on you if you think you've got a better solution to implement. Based on your account, your solution doesn't seem to have worked any better than hers, so you get butt hurt and take it out on your wife. What am I missing?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 06:32 PM
9

Based on your other kids, it sounds like your SAHM is doing a first rate job with raising the kids. It also seems like the general consensus here is that she was right to suggest letting him alone to cry it out. Up to the point that she hit you, she was firmly in the right and you were fucking things up. Given that she's never done anything like to before and, in my mind, had a halfway decent provocation, I would just let is slide if I were you.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 06:24 PM
1

Edit: Removed my comment.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/16 03:34 PM
3

Because you're wasting time justifying yourself to strangers on the Internet.
/r/askMRP01/11/16 12:59 AM
3

Your question is silly, but I'll answer it directly: How do you deal with your own hamstring? Exactly the same way that you deal with hers. You don't engage it, you don't talk back to it, you don't acknowledge it in any substantive way. You just STFU, AM or AA it, and move ahead with your life. Just because it's the voice inside of your head rather than your wife doesn't change the fact that it's all irrelevant bullshit.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 06:18 PM
3

Wow, don't set your goals too high there. Putting forth action plans and moving towards something productive, that sounds amazing.
/r/askMRP31/10/16 03:39 PM
11

This could have been great if OP could have found a way to say this with a wink and a slap on the ass. OP, I feel like your head is in the right place, but you seem pretty stern. Can you lighten things up at home?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 03:19 AM
3

This was originally a RP thing to say, as it used to be a way to condescend to your wife, sort of like when the CEO praises his secretary as the one who actually runs things, or - to take a completely different example - when Ceasar Augustus pretended to be just another citizen of Rome. If you're obviously the one in charge, then joking that you're not actually adds to your authority. Bit somewhere along the line, men started taking it seriously.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 02:58 AM
2

If he's a huge beta, then maybe she really is the better half.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/16 02:44 AM
2

I always thought "you do you" basically meant fuck off.
/r/askMRP26/10/16 06:49 PM
3

Yeah, but OP says he doesn't like to lift, so what you say can't be right.
/r/askMRP26/10/16 06:47 PM
2

"He changed schools and everything was perfect for him." I'm glad you were able to move on.
/r/askMRP25/10/16 06:54 PM
1

Puerto Rico is in the US. No passport needed.
/r/askMRP24/10/16 01:41 PM
9

What RP often lacks, and this essay is a good example, is any recognition that there is more to life, and more to manhood, than women and sex. I'm one of those guys who looks down on guys who do nothing but play video games and surf porn, but it's not because I'm some white night who thinks these guys should be out there supporting the female imperative or whatever. I just think it's a stupid way to waste your life.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/16 02:33 PM
1

Usually like Rollo, but this is kind of bullshit. "It’s not just “lost boys” staring at X-Box, smoking weed and snapping their radish to free porn . . . they are mature, relatively accomplished men responding to their condition." If you want to swear off women and go see the world on horseback, or climb Everest, or live with the natives in Tahiti, then sure. Smoke weed and watch porn and you're mature and accomplished?
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/16 05:18 AM
2

Those countries didn't fail, they simply threw off tyrannical governments and are in fact now succeeding far better than before. These are success stories - examples of atheists who done good.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/16 09:55 PM
2

The claim was that religion is necessary, so non-religious Europe stands as a counter example. Can you name a single country that was majority atheist for more than 3 generations that failed?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/16 01:31 AM
1

Don't apologize. Change your mindset so that it does not matter whether "it" passes. Transcend her bullshit.
/r/askMRP21/10/16 01:13 AM
1

I've read through your post history. What are you actually doing to make yourself more attractive? Do you lift? Is your weight under control? Are you making any effort to own your shit at all? Stop trying to "win" exchanges with your wife. It's all bullshit. Improve yourself. Make yourself awesome. I don't mean "have an exchange with your wife in which you adopt the position of being awesome." I mean for yourself, by yourself, actually become an awesome person without saying anything about it to…
/r/askMRP20/10/16 05:03 AM
3

This is your answer. Reading your post, my thought was, he says he's ready to walk if necessary, but then he gives us pages of text on how he can't believe he might actually have to go through with it. You have to really accept it. I'm gonna pull the trigger! Go ahead. I mean it! Ok, do it. [puts gun down]. Your response isn't rational. You don't really want me to pull the trigger, do you? No rational person could want that. Here's a long list of reasons why that makes no sense. Ok. Can you fetc…
/r/askMRP19/10/16 06:46 PM
1

I can relate to elements of your story. Your wife controls things, and you probably let her because, at least for the little things, you don't care anyway. Then an important issue comes up, and you're dismayed to realize that she controls that too. You aren't going to win the school fight until you win lots of smaller battles first. Start taking control of the little stuff - starting first with yourself. You can't even control your own drinking, and wife is supposed to trust you with the educati…
/r/askMRP17/10/16 06:56 PM
9

He should do what he wants to do. My point is that there's a trade-off. If he works his dream job while his wife earns (most) of the money that supports the family, then he's not in a great position to complain about how she spent it up to now or to complain that she ran up so much debt that now he has to pitch in more. None of that justifies his wife unilaterally deciding to buy the fridge, but it is important context. Was she spending his money? Maybe, kind of. But if she's been earning 80 cen…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/10/16 01:12 AM
23

Wait, your wife has earned more than FOUR TIMES as much as you throughout your marriage, and even now still earns more than you do, and you're blaming her for your money problems? Your pissed that you finally had to give up your dream job and get a real job? Hmmmmm. I'll just say this: The new job was 100% your decision and you should own it. You weren't forced into it by your wife's nagging.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/10/16 11:15 PM
13

Post history says you've been in low sex marriage for years. She knows you want sex - you keep begging for it. She does not want to have sex with you because she is not attracted to you. It's not mysterious. Lift. STFU. Improve yourself.
/r/askMRP16/10/16 03:19 PM
2

Actually there is a RP aspect to this question. There is a class of Nice Guy (I know because I was one) who refuses to spend money on himself in the misguided belief that other people will recognize his virtue. Similar to the way some guys take perverse pride in dressing like a slob because they imagine that they are somehow above worrying about their appearance. There is also an element of scarcity thinking as well.
/r/askMRP14/10/16 05:00 PM
1

You guys invested more effort into getting OP to lift than he ever did. WTF?
/r/askMRP14/10/16 02:56 PM
7

This shit is brilliant. I don't understand why these always get deleted. If you can't laugh at yourself, you're doing it wrong.
/r/askMRP14/10/16 12:15 AM
1

Thank you, great post. Reading it made me realize that while I have pretty much mastered the idea of not seeking validation, I often still do seek to be understood by my LTR. Never connected that to frame before, but now it's obvious.
/r/TheRedPill13/10/16 07:04 PM
2

It's going to be much more of an issue after you're married. You'll have much less leverage.
/r/askMRP12/10/16 09:13 PM
1

Update on two issues. "Main event": Wife exploded two weeks ago when I opened a separate account as a way to force control over finances. I held firm, and the whole thing blew over in 48 hours. She'd sooner die than admit it, but she's happy with the result. I should have done this much sooner. Bulking: I've gained 12 pounds and am hitting new PRs in my lifts, but I'm getting fat. How fat? If I sit down and lean forward, my gut spills over my belt. But if I stand up straight and flex my abs, I c…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/16 07:10 PM
2

"It's exhausting and humiliating in front of friends and family." If it's gotten this bad, you have a log road ahead. If she's always been this way, then chances are that her domineering bullshit was a big part of why you were attracted to her in the first place, in a twisted way, which makes things harder still. That said, getting basic respect should not be a hard problem, as it's almost entirely within your control. Just lay down a boundary and then enforce it. What's the downside? She's let …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/16 06:53 PM
1

If she's decided you can't have sex before marriage, that's a huge red flag.
/r/askMRP12/10/16 06:17 PM
2

Not a permanent solution, but for now, Pull ups, push-ups, postal squats, hill sprints, etc. Check out r/bodyweightfitness. I picked up a bar, weights, Dumbbells and a simple bar stand on Craigslist for a few hundred spread out over several months. Works great.
/r/askMRP11/10/16 06:25 PM
6

Ask her to fetch you a glass of water and observe her response. Simple.
/r/askMRP11/10/16 02:38 PM
2

Nice hamster you got there.
/r/askMRP11/10/16 05:19 AM
3

Is it your experience that you get sexually aroused when a guy that you aren't attracted to makes a special effort to let you know how bad he wants to have sex with you?
/r/askMRP11/10/16 05:09 AM
1

No. Most of your post is pure victim puke, with a request tacked on the end that you're bored and you can't think of anything fun to do.
/r/askMRP11/10/16 05:01 AM
1

This is the laziest fucking post.
/r/askMRP11/10/16 02:42 AM
1

Lift
/r/askMRP11/10/16 02:19 AM
6

So you not only forgave her, but you forgave her in the very same conversation in which she admitted it? I hope you didn't actually tell her that straight out. At least make her earn it. I feel like a lot of guys internalize the "It's my fault" stuff a bit too literally. We take responsibility because it's empowering to see the world that way. If it's our fault, then it's in our power to fix. But that sure as hell doesn't mean that your wife isn't morally responsible for her own choices. It's ju…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/16 10:26 PM
1

Yes. I adopted a rule early on that has served me well. If (a) I'm pretty sure wife is going to ask me to do something, and (b) I'm pretty sure I'm going to say yes if she asks, then I just do it.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/16 06:27 PM
2

What do you want on your pizza? "You know what I like." If she responds playfully, you could follow up with some sort of joke about getting a piece. Or stick with pizza ass, I guess.
/r/askMRP07/10/16 03:42 PM
13

It's the most important decision in your life and the life of your kids, but you've essentially decided to leave it up to the whims of a person who is mistreating you and doesn't have your interests at heart.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 09:43 PM
17

Just as a reality check, I'll bet almost every guy reading this is wondering why you're still with this person.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 07:11 PM
6

"If her behavior continues to degenerate, she will probably file for divorce within a year . . . ." WTF? The key to your problems is right there in that ridiculous sentence.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/16 07:09 PM
1

Two weeks ago, you reported yourself at 25% body fat, which is fat. None of this shit is going to work very well until you drop the rest of the weight. Attractive guy who asserts frame = tingles. Fat guy who asserts frame = asshole. Now, being an asshole is a step up from being pathetic, so I'm not saying not to hold frame. But you're not gonna get the full results you want until you're physically attractive to your wife. If I were you, I would play it a bit cooler until you're back in fighting …
/r/askMRP04/10/16 06:59 PM
2

This only works if she finds OP attractive. If he's a fat fuck, then it just reads as being an asshole.
/r/askMRP04/10/16 06:49 PM
2

Something doesn't add up. You say you didn't see the guy grab her ass or fondle her, but learned about it later. From her, I assume. She could have told you anything or nothing, so why come out with this story? She's trickle-truthing you.
/r/askMRP03/10/16 09:42 PM
1

Wait, what? Let the infidelity go? Seriously?!
/r/askMRP03/10/16 07:16 PM
1

Moved only half this month so as not to disrupt any existing auto bill pay. But yes, I'm a pussy. You're right, of course. If this were someone else's report, I'd be nodding along at how obvious it all is. Time to wake up.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/16 02:44 PM
1

In the clear light of day, I see it now as a classic main event. Complete overreaction that's been building in her for months. I think I weathered it ok. Mostly just STFU, did not DEER, did not argue, just took care of calming the kids. Slept apart last night. Expecting silent treatment today. I'm gonna push ahead with being awesome. Either she gives in and comes along, or she decides unlimited access to the money is a deal breaker for her, in which case I'm be glad to have learned that and will…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/16 04:16 PM
1

Massive blow up today. Since my last OYS, I led wife back into sharing the same bedroom again. Not sure if we'll make it or not, but I decided it was weak to just let things drift apart by default. If it ends, it'll be because I decide. Today, I tackled the biggest unfinished business of the year - taking back the finances. Wife has been handling for years, and uses a complicated mix of a dozen different accounts that only she understands. I review, but I can't really make much sense of it all, …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/16 04:32 AM
2

I don't agree that my own happiness is the moral purpose of my life - at least not the highest moral purpose. I'm not saying pursuing your own happiness is immoral - far from it. It's often a good and wise thing to do. But I don't consider it the immovable North Star of personal morality. I wouldn't consider it to be a moral defense if another man (say, Hitler) justified evil or harmful actions (say, the Holocaust) on the grounds that he was pursuing his own happiness. I suspect almost everyone …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/16 11:51 PM
2

Depends on your perspective. For a lot of men, yes, relationships are harder when women have greater freedom. But I wouldn't assume - and I guess maybe you're not saying - that women having freedom is an unnatural state. In most animal species, from insects right on up, the evolutionary strength and vitality of the species runs through the female. Lots of exceptions, of course, but what's good for the female and her offspring is usually also what's good for the species as a whole, for the obviou…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/16 08:47 PM
3

Sort of, but not quite. I can see your point that RP embraces an objectivist mentality for purposes of improving your relationship with women. The difference is that objectivism asserts that this is the preferred mentality for virtually all aspects of life. It's possible to believe one but not the other.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/16 08:28 PM
2

Reading between the lines, I think what you're asking is: "I can keep up a conversation with a woman for 5-10 minutes by just asking her small talk questions. Then what?" The answer is much simpler than you imagine. You just say . . . whatever comes to mind. It doesn't matter.
/r/askMRP30/09/16 07:31 PM
4

I assure you, it's entirely possible to adopt the core elements of RP as a practical guide to what works in improving your LTR relationship while also thinking that Ayn Rand is a complete pile of shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/16 07:15 PM
2

Interesting opinion. Some might wonder why you want to be with a woman if the only reason she stays is because she has no other viable option for survival. The answer to both, of course, is that desire isn't rational. It just is what it is. I would agree, though, that your game has to be much more on point to retain the attraction of a professional woman.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/16 07:10 PM
1

Thanks for the response. My approach to the gym may be too rigid. You're saying (within reason, I assume) that adding on a bit more later I the day doesn't hurt. I usually work out in the morning, but often have extra energy in the evening that I'd happily burn in the gym, but I was thinking it would be counterproductive to do so.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/16 12:36 AM
1

". . . the Dionne Warwick song that was playing came screeching to a halt." Absolutely fabulous.
/r/askMRP30/09/16 12:16 AM
10

Paying wife for sex is an extreme DLV. In fact, I'd rank it as even lower than begging for sex, since begging at least holds out hope that you might convince wife to give it to you. Payment is an open admission of complete failure. It'll make you repulsive in her eyes.
/r/askMRP30/09/16 12:10 AM
1

I see a lot of posts, including this one, the advice to work off your frustration, anger, etc in the gym. Sounds good to me, but I'm never sure what that means. If I've already hit the gym for the day, and more generally am already hitting my program, then what exactly would I do if I hit the gym again at 10:00 pm after a rejection? Serious question.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/16 08:52 PM
2

Seriously, I tried to warn him earlier. How many ex-Morman electricians who were born in Hawaii but now live in Utah and traveled to Bolivia seven months ago can there be?
/r/askMRP26/09/16 06:37 PM
6

First, I'd create a different username for MRP. There's a massive amount of information tied to this one. Second, you're going to have to provide some real detail if you want any useful advice.
/r/askMRP26/09/16 02:22 AM
1

What was the nuclear event? She cheated?
/r/askMRP24/09/16 02:42 PM
1

Makes sense. Now that Brad Pitt has been de-throned, we can substitute Woddy Allen. "Dude, you mean your wife doesn't want to fuck you. I guarantee if fucking Woody Allen walked in without a shirt on, she'd be on him like a cat in heat."
/r/askMRP24/09/16 01:18 AM
8

You should have kids.
/r/askMRP24/09/16 01:12 AM
2

Damn, she's got frame, that's for sure. This sub is filled with guys who are struggling to come to terms with truth that you can't change yourself for someone else, even to save a marriage. Took her a few days.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/16 07:05 PM
2

Based on my wife, I'm guessing it's not just sex, but a complete inability to just be present in the moment, ever. Just to take a breath and exchange a knowing look. To be stopped by the lyrics of a song or the beauty of a cloud and just experience it. To have a conversation where you really touch the other person instead of just waiting for your turn to talk. To just relax and be instead of rushing from one distraction to the next. That's my wife, anyway. I'm not sure that problem has a solutio…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/16 06:47 PM
1

How are you getting these exact BF numbers?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/16 05:53 PM
1

Fairlife milk has 50% more protein, 50% less sugar, no lactose, and tastes exactly like normal milk. Available at most groceries.
/r/askMRP23/09/16 05:49 PM
1

Fuck it, now you've pulled me in. Guys have piled on, but you deserved it and it's mostly good advice if you take it in. I'll just add this small thing: You worry too much about other people's approval. That's why you preemptively insulted yourself in your post title, preemptively invited people to pile on, preemptively said your lift numbers were sad, and only felt free to stand up for yourself after I said they were respectable. You're protecting your ego. It's time to let that burden go, brot…
/r/askMRP23/09/16 04:34 AM
1

Bench 174 is respectable for 150lbs.
/r/askMRP23/09/16 02:23 AM
1

Pretty telling that you won't even answer the question. So much DEER. If you're skinny, why are you cutting?
/r/askMRP22/09/16 07:42 PM
1

I wouldn't say I want a divorce, but I'm also no longer desperate to prevent it either. I'm not making any kind of firm decision until after the new year. I understand your point - we are clearly drifting apart emotionally. It's not just her, it's both of us. I need to figure out which way to sail the ship.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/16 03:32 PM
1

It's been a while. Was very sick for a month, and completely derailed. Too embarrassed to post here until I was firmly back on the gain train. I'm drifting into a strange new place in my life and marriage. I've been working on my game skills, starting from a very, very low base. More conversations with women in the last few weeks than in the last ten years. I'm far from smooth, but I can feel that I'm right on the cusp of a new horizon - the realization that I can game literally any woman I see.…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/16 05:37 AM
3

This is the same basic shit you posted three weeks ago. How about you tell us what you're going to do and then actually do it? For fuck's sake, though, don't have kids.
/r/askMRP20/09/16 05:18 AM
3

You can also practice talking to everyone, all the time. Not "game," per se. Just talk. With everyone. All the time.
/r/askMRP19/09/16 06:57 PM
1

The problem with that is that every Nice Guy thinks that he just wants to make her happy, with no covert agenda. You're (presumably) self-aware enough to see things clearly, but this is dangerous advice for beginners. The other problem is that if you freely choose to fail a shit test because it genuinely makes you happy, you're still failing the shit test. So, for example, what if your wife asking for dinner from the next town over is, from her perspective, a shit test? You're happy to comply be…
/r/askMRP19/09/16 06:47 PM
1

Would you have made a similar request of her?
/r/askMRP19/09/16 01:45 PM
1

To me, "fucking idiot" sounds really disrespectful, but it depends on context. Some couples, that's just how they talk. But if you agree that it's unacceptable, then you need to get yourself into a strong enough position that she doesn't dare treat you that way. How? Lift. Sidebar. What to do in the immediate moment, though? I'd suggest STFU until you've got a stronger frame. But your response wasn't bad. It basically worked, until you pissed it away by going back to her.
/r/askMRP19/09/16 04:57 AM
2

You don't try to get her past it. Any effort to do so puts you squarely in her frame. Instead, you put yourself in a mental space where you simply and truly don't give a fuck one way or the other. This is one of the first and most eye-opening insights of MRP. You discover that you aren't responsible in any way for your wife's emotions, and that those emotions don't have to matter to you at all if you don't want them to. You're groping toward that stage, and I'm guessing you'll get there quickly.…
/r/askMRP19/09/16 04:41 AM
2

"I'm looking for better quality than quantity." WTF? Your post is 100% about not getting enough. You're upset that you're rejected. But you say you enjoy the sex when it happens. But now suddenly the amount is good, you just want better quality. Two possibilities: You're a terrible writer who can't communicate even simple ideas without screwing them up. Or you're so far in denial that when people simply reflect back to you your own complaint - not enough sex - you're moved to reject your own wor…
/r/askMRP17/09/16 03:51 PM
1

If she really wanted to have sex with you, she'd find a way to do it any day of the week. Seriously, people will destroy their lives for sex if they really want it. Indeed, you yourself say you'd be up for sex on weekdays, schedule be damned. That's because you want it. She doesn't. It's not complicated. You seem to think that you're a special case that needs bespoke advice that can't be found in the sidebar. But to me, your situation sounds completely typical.
/r/askMRP17/09/16 03:40 PM
23

Wife: Shit test. You: DEER. Wife: Shit test intensifies. Therapist: I feel like we had a real breakthrough today.
/r/askMRP16/09/16 03:33 PM
7

I can't believe how passive some of the advice here is. Checking to see if your wife is actually cheating isn't mate guarding. Nor do just assume she's probably cheating anyway so go hit the gym. If your suspicions are strong enough to have you wondering, then you owe it to yourself to find out for sure.
/r/askMRP16/09/16 03:01 AM
7

"He never told anyone." Acta non verba. Damn. Thanks for the inspiration.
/r/askMRP15/09/16 12:15 AM
3

Your comment perfectly illustrates a tension that I see running throughout MRP, between creating desire and leveraging change. On the one hand, you can't negotiate desire, your woman is a reflection of you, the path to success is to improve yourself, etc. Now, maybe she'll follow, and maybe she won't. But the central idea is that if she does respond with increased desire, it's because you improved yourself and became desirable. If the wife were asked, she'd say, "He was a complete slob for years…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/16 12:05 AM
5

Spare yourself some embarrassment and don't post any pictures. Khakis, button up shirt, shorts and shirt - I guarantee you look like hell. The pants are probably a size too large, the shirt probably billows out around the waist like a mushroom top when you tuck it in, the collar probably flops open because it's designed for the tie and sport coat you're not wearing, and your tshirt probably peeks out of your chest or is visible through your shirt. And don't get me started on the rags you wear ar…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/16 04:15 AM
2

Is he fun?!? Did you miss the part about competitive table tennis?
/r/askMRP13/09/16 06:49 PM
1

She says "There's the front door" because she knows you won't use it. But that's ok. Keep on keeping on and the day will come when she's no longer so sure.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/16 10:52 PM
3

No. Taking your points in order: You can react to a shit test in a perfectly calm, relaxed, highly functional way, and still fail it miserably. "Honey, can you get up and fetch me a glass of water?" "Of course. You know that I would do anything for you." Stress has nothing to do with it. There are tons of highly competent Betas out there who can effortlessly manage unbelievable amounts of stress in their jobs and still be excellent providers. They are highly successful at work and in life. But t…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/16 04:38 AM
1

At some point you're going to realize that if she's not giving you sex and won't even touch you, then it really doesn't fucking matter if you have her approval or not.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 05:04 AM
1

Harsh, but I second this. OP, you're rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic with this stuff.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 04:55 AM
3

Re "Is it me. . ." You're getting friction because you're failing the shit tests that people are giving you in comments, which prompts people to pile on even more. If you were short and people called you "shorty" and it obviously bothered you, then of course guys would keep piling on because it's a sore spot. Same dynamic. It's pretty easy to imagine you're getting the same dynamic from your wife.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 04:41 AM
2

You can see, right, that your reaction to the statement "any threat to its self worth will be met with instant defense" was to instantly defend? Have you ever heard the expression "Little Miss Can't-Be-Wrong"? It's not a good look for a guy.
/r/askMRP07/09/16 04:33 AM
5

I'm gonna start by admitting that you're currently getting better results with your wife than I am with mine. So it could be that I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. That said, I assume you're posting because you want honest feedback from Internet strangers because maybe we can see something that you're missing. So here you go: You have a weird literalness to your posts. You can accurately describe events, but when it comes time to explain why they happen, your explanations make no sen…
/r/askMRP07/09/16 04:18 AM
0

Total shit post. If you can't be bothered to work at it anymore, why the fuck should anyone else care?
/r/askMRP01/09/16 07:29 PM
2

Fuck your faith in the system. That's why you hire a fucking lawyer. And not somebody you find on an Internet ad - get a real divorce lawyer. The cost will be paid out of the marital estate, which in your case means it'll be mostly her money.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/16 06:14 PM
5

Here's another hard truth: If she really is gorgeous, she'll have absolutely no trouble "testing the marketplace" and finding another man. Therr will be a line of BPs around the block. If you split, she'll almost certainly hookup faster than you. All of which should be irrelevant to your thought process. Decide what's best for you. Your revenge fantasy is foolish.
/r/askMRP31/08/16 01:14 PM
1

None of my business, but if I were you I'd delete this account and start over. Between your username and your post you've divulged a lot of identifying information - age, height, weight, and a pretty narrow profession. Three months from know you'll casually mention what city you live in and it's over.
/r/askMRP29/08/16 10:22 PM
8

The problem with forcing someone to go to therapy is that it only works if the person wants it to work and is willing to put in the effort. A lot like MRP, actually.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/16 09:45 PM
6

I just read some of your history. Open marriage was her idea, and ten days after suggesting it, while you're still thinking it over, she's screwing your friend. You're in deep denial.
/r/askMRP28/08/16 06:06 AM
1

Irony alert
/r/askMRP27/08/16 05:50 PM
4

Do movies count? Gran Turino is RP through and through, even though Eastwoods character is elderly and has no love interest. But the way he interacts with the neighbors, authentic and on his own terms, takes care of his shit, and imparts a few RP lessons to the kid next door is straight RP.
/r/askMRP27/08/16 02:08 PM
2

You think you're wife has zero clue when you're angry? Give me a break. She knows - she just doesn't care. Her " silent treatment" is simply her way of asserting dominance in the relationship. And it worked like a charm. Literally everything about your text acknowledged and confirmed that she's still in charge. Here's a thought experiment for you: What if, instead of your text, you had said nothing and conducted yourself in a way that suggested that you weren't even aware that she was pouting be…
/r/askMRP26/08/16 07:38 PM
1

Lets set aside the gift issue and just focus on the text exchange with your wife that you quote above. the problem is that it's emotional and dramatic. You're telegraphing that you're completely wrapped up in it. Contrast that with your wife's response: "That's nice. I forget why you were mad." The roles should be reversed. She gets emotional, and you respond with vague nothings. Can you read the exchange and see that she's the one in charge?
/r/askMRP26/08/16 06:48 PM
1

Wow.
/r/askMRP26/08/16 04:53 PM
3

You've got covert contracts all over the place. You're volunteering extra time at work because you just hope your employer will reward you somewhere down the line? Good luck.
/r/askMRP26/08/16 04:44 PM
3

This is exactly the fault line that runs between guys who get it and guys who don't.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/16 03:26 AM
1

I don't know, you may be right. I'll think on it. Fucking women . . . .
/r/askMRP20/08/16 03:16 AM
1

You're not "brutally shy" - that's a bullshit label that doesn't apply to you. Maybe you've acted in a shy way in the past. And maybe you will again in the future. But you are much bigger than any label.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 08:02 PM
1

Seconded. Nobody gives a shit, but if they do, then fuck them. Or get a bench on Craigslist and lift at home.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 07:51 PM
9

Becoming awesome is simply a matter of making one small decision after the other, over and over and over again. None of the decisions are hard - it's just a matter of stringing enough of them together in a row. I tend to screw up when I start thinking too much about tomorrow's decisions or yesterday's decisions. The secret is just to focus on the single decision in front of you right now.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/08/16 07:37 PM
1

Not every last thing has to be filtered through a power prism. He's keeping it light, having fun, and breaking down shit tests and getting laid with it.
/r/askMRP19/08/16 01:28 PM
1

Awesome advice. Lost on OP, I guess, but I'm taking it to heart.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/16 11:45 PM
3

Sorry, but I'm suddenly losing sympathy for you.
/r/askMRP16/08/16 04:13 AM
3

I'm guessing she led him to it as part of her counseling journey of self-discovery. But you may be right. The more I think about it, the more angry I get on OPs behalf. After seven years, it should be her cross to bear.
/r/askMRP16/08/16 12:44 AM
10

You suffered three betrayals: Her infidelity Her lying to you about it for seven years Her choosing to tell you about it now She did all three of those things to you for her own selfish reasons, and I can well imagine the pain that those betrayals are causing you. Honestly, I'm having trouble deciding which betrayal is the worst. I'll only offer one modest piece of advice. If you choose to stick around, don't let her completely off the hook by crying it out and swearing you forgive her and whate…
/r/askMRP16/08/16 12:20 AM
3

FFS, dude, if you sleep with other in a Hail Mary effort to attract your wife, then it's just another covert contract. I think the point was, you need to sleep with other woman so that you have genuine OI. Not saying I agree, but pretty sure that was the point.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/16 04:29 AM
3

The bickering and arguing, at least, is the easiest thing in the world to stop, instantly and completely. Here's the secret: Shut the Fuck Up. Don't argue. Don't bicker. If she starts, don't say anything at all in response. You'll be amazed how effective this is.
/r/askMRP14/08/16 05:26 PM
2

Second this. Practice deliberately looking bad in front of people and then saying, "Fuck you, I don't give a fuck." In fact, you can practice a little right here in this sub. Post a response somewhere that you know will ruffle some feathers and be down voted. Even better, that you know will make you look bad. Then say "Fuck you, I don't give a fuck." Next time you eat out, be deliberately rude to the waitress. Dress like a slob on purpose. Walking the sidewalk, be a prick and refuse to get out o…
/r/askMRP14/08/16 06:48 AM
1

It's true that there are millions of men out there who are better than you. But there are also millions of women out there who are better than your woman. My point is that there is plenty to go around for everyone. You don't have to be the best man around, and you don't have to be perfect.
/r/askMRP14/08/16 06:35 AM
1

Well, yeah. That's how it works. Her getting mad is her problem, not yours.
/r/askMRP14/08/16 06:28 AM
2

Things don't look good. It was her idea to do a trial separation. That sounds an awful lot like she's already decided it's over but she doesn't have the guts to break it to you all at once. Also sounds like there might be someone else. Any chance? On the other hand, you've got kids and friends and family ties in common, so you've got something to build from. You admit the break up was your fault, which makes me think you must have screwed up pretty bad if even you can admit it. Are you saying sh…
/r/askMRP14/08/16 06:22 AM
1

OPs ego isn't dead just yet. Not criticizing, this is a good start. But anytime a guy posts only the good stuff and shows how it all fits perfectly with MRP dogma, I know his ego is filtering things. Nobody makes this journey without fucking up over and over again. Post your fuck ups, along with what you think you should have done instead. That's the good stuff.
/r/askMRP14/08/16 02:21 AM
2

Hunger strike for sex?
/r/askMRP13/08/16 05:22 AM
3

This is obviously written by a girl. "Secret jerkoffs" is a dead giveaway.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 09:37 PM
1

He's telling you to go fuck yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 08:25 PM
1

Give us an example of a single thing that you've tried to do to solve this problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 07:13 PM
1

There's plenty to be said for older women. I'm just wondering why OP felt the need to say it.
/r/askMRP12/08/16 04:52 PM
1

You spent the entire first two paragraphs defending yourself for wanting an older woman and explaining why she really is better than she seems. Pretty big tell. Maybe you should admit that you're not really attracted to her and move on.
/r/askMRP12/08/16 04:08 PM
4

Yes. This sub never ceases to amaze me. "Sexual strategy for married men," and the first lesson is learn to format your fucking post. Exactly right. This is why boys are falling behind in school. I guarantee you I would have paid more attention in high school English if a male teacher had thrown my essay back in my face and challenged me to man the fuck up and do it right.
/r/askMRP12/08/16 02:17 AM
1

Last week I summarized a recent setback, and got some great feedback in the last couple of days on specific issues related to Wife. This post will be strictly about owning my shit and moving forward. Good Lifting -- this is firmly back on track. I've just about caught up lost ground on upper body, and am setting new PRs on DLs. The foundation and highlight of my day. Eating -- tracking calories and macros, and am surprised (yet not surprised) to see confirmation that my "normal" meals are not ne…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 01:15 AM
2

Right. That doesn't mean it's hopeless. It just means you can't negotiate desire. So in my example, better advice for the unattractive woman would be to increase her attractiveness. Talking about it is simply irrelevant. She just needs to increase her level of attractiveness. It's not fair, it's not polite, it's not PC, she's not going to thank you for that blunt advice - but it's reality.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/08/16 12:19 AM
3

Strange feeling ... a year ago I would have thought that sounded like great advice. Now it's so laughably wrong that I wonder how the human race has managed to reproduce itself all these years. If you thought your wife was physically unattractive - ugly - would it do any good for her to tell you how it makes her feel not to be desired? To try to compromise on frequency? On the other hand, if you thought she was attractive, would there even be an issue to talk about?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 09:54 PM
2

You need to stop joking about it. This is your life.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 09:47 PM
1

Jesus Christ, dude. You finally lose the weight and get in shape, learn how to pick up women - and you decide to marry the first one that gives it up to you? That's like working your ass off to go to Harvard Business School, and then taking the first job offer you get to flip burgers at McDonald's. How about enjoying your life a bit first?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 09:30 PM
1

Not that it matters, but I'm curious - what kind of advice were you getting at DB?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 09:17 PM
1

Yeah, I'm playing around with sex jokes everywhere. Definitely not our usual thing, but she's starting to join in here and there. Her comment about the guy cat calling her was really part of that, I think. In her own adorable way, I think she intended almost as sexual banter. To be honest, I think I was hoping in the back of my mind that I'd get a bunch of replies saying, "My wife did the same thing, and two weeks later the floodgates were opened." LOL
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 03:17 PM
1

Netflix binging crime shows - God, yes.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 03:04 PM
2

If you read my post from yesterday on Wife Ups Her Game, you'll see I have similar issues as well. I agree that it's morally difficult to think about cutting someone loose when the problem they have is something that they genuinely can't control. Not sure if this will help, but part of my own answer to that issue is to ask, "Is she trying as hard as I am to fix the situation?" So maybe she's not succeeding, but is she making the same effort that I am? That might be hard to judge perfectly - how …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/16 02:22 AM
2

Agree. I think I probably did weaponize kisses and hugs over the blue years by always trying to escalate them. I've had very good luck lately with a simple ass slap while walking by. No possible pressure because I'm already leaving by the time it registers. She's started doing the same to me. Also stuff like a mock punch on the shoulder or a finger poke. Trying to keep it light and fun, and it helps.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 09:26 PM
1

The thought has crossed my mind, but I've never found the slightest hint of anything.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 06:40 PM
2

It's explained in MMSL. If she's an 8 and you're a 6 (in her mind) she's not gonna fuck you, because she knows she doesn't have to to keep you, and that very knowledge kills her desire. You can rage at the world or hamster away at irrelevant details, but these are the facts. Lift, sidebar, raise your SMV to a 9, and she'll come around because now she knows she has to try to keep you, and that very knowledge ignites her desire. Or else it doesn't. In which case you've turned yourself into a 9 and…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 05:57 AM
1

No. Never cheated, ran out, let her down, etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 04:26 AM
2

Yes. I was listening to Burning Heart, theme from Rocky IV, while lifting, and that lyric really spoke to me: "Inside each heart, a quiet ember, knows it's you against you, it's the paradox that drives us all." Your comment is pretty sobering. Some days I would describe her behavior as a kind of abuse. Other days it seems like no big deal. I don't know what to think. Just as you describe, it seems like a house of mirrors.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 04:24 AM
0

Read this ten times but can't figure out how to translate into English. Can you expand a little?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 04:13 AM
1

Most of the time. We're at maybe once or twice a month. I've avoided reading on those topics because of the frustration I know I would feel. Lame excuse.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 04:11 AM
2

Aside from the physical issues, she's a good partner. And has been getting better in response to my MAP. People would be surprised if we split, as we always present a harmonious front in public. When we met, she was awesome, loving and sexy and really into me. I was her hero. Then it's like a switch flipped, and it turned on a dime. No idea what caused the change. She never talks about her feelings or our relationship. Literally shuts down completely when I bring it up. These days, it's like liv…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 04:06 AM
2

Not LMR, this happens even in public settings. It varies over time but not on a monthly schedule.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 03:43 AM
5

More or less, yeah. I guess it just feels normal to me now. If I didn't know better, I'd say she flat out dislikes me. But of course I don't know better - she really might flat out dislike me.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 02:04 AM
3

By affection, I don't mean a pat on the head. I'm talking about sexual affection. Maybe a confusing choice of words.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/16 12:01 AM
2

Must have been unclear. Her changes are great, and I love that she's getting random complements. Anything that puts sex on her mind is ok in my book. But sex with me hasn't really improved much at all. It's like she's feeling the dread, but instead of increasing sex and attention, she's just increasing her SMV (which is fine, but doesn't do me much good).
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/16 11:59 PM
2

In theory this is an important issue, but in practice I don't think it matters so much. Until and unless you actually divorce, I think almost all elements of a typical MAP are going to be neutral or beneficial to children. That's no coincidence, by the way. In evolutionary terms, the ability to raise strong healthy children who can get ahead in life is the very thing that women are programmed to select for in a mate. Improving your attractiveness as a man generally translates to improving the li…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/16 06:57 PM
2

All that proves is that women are willing to have sex on occasion. Clearly women want to have sex in a transactional sense - to get things that they want, like husbands and children. I'll even grant that they like sex, once it's happening. But the evidence that women desire the act of sex itself is pretty thin. I think they want sex the way most men want dessert. Sure, everybody likes dessert, and they'll basically enjoy it while it's happening. But unless something actually leads you to dessert…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/16 01:56 PM
1

Do they?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/16 05:30 AM
2

Sure . . . But I have to wonder, how often do you really want to be nice, with no ulterior motive of any kind? Maybe its just me, but if I find myself acting nice, I can usually uncover some people pleasing or covert contract lurking somewhere.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/16 05:17 AM
2

In the moment, I'd probably just AA or STFU. I might even wink at her in response, just to confuse the shit out of her while communicating IDGAF. In the long run, though, there's really only two reasons why this might happen: She doesn't value you, and therefore doesn't care if she loses you. She values you, but doesn't believe that you would actually leave. The cure for the first is become more awesome. The cure for the second is dread.
/r/askMRP09/08/16 12:15 AM
4

I like your idea that the goal of MAP is to end your marriage. I take you to mean "end the marriage that currently exists" - either by moving on to a better marriage with the same person, or by divorce. To me, trying to "save the marriage" encourages walking on eggshells, always second guessing, always judging every step in terms of her reaction. Screw that! The old marriage, whatever it was, is dead. The point of the MAP is to put a bullet through its head and bury it. Stop chasing the past and…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/16 12:03 AM
1

This is probably the single most useful advice I've gotten here. GAD sounds exactly right. On those occasions when we do kiss, she'll usually laugh or make a joke, which I now recognize as a symptom of anxiety. She's also easily distracted and worries a lot. You're right that I'm grieving the marriage I thought I could have. I'm constantly thinking about how much happiness she could give me, and how much I think I could give her, if she would just let go and yield to me. Honestly, I'm not sure i…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/08/16 07:36 PM
1

Sex once, then hit shark week and then straight into family vacation and now we're back to normal. Meanwhile zero attempts by her at simple affection and mixed results when I try to initiate a hug or kiss (which is slightly better than before). Main change is now when she rejects me, she softens it with some excuse. Basically I think you're right. I'm sorely tempted to go back to her with WTF, I thought we discussed this! But the risk now is too high that she still won't change and I'll just be …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/16 01:56 PM
1

Gonna take this advice. Current lifts are BP = 135, OHP = 80, DL = 175, SQ = 160. All pounds, for five reps. Running PPLPPLx. Numbers have been progressing really slow. I'm putting in the time, but I think I'm not eating enough.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/08/16 01:44 AM
3

Not to rain on the parade, but OP is overlooking an important point. It is true that 50% or more of men are so out of shape that they essentially disqualify themselves from the sexual marketplace. The problem is that 50% or more of women are also disqualified, so it all comes out in the wash.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/16 09:13 PM
0

Three weeks ago, I posted an OYS describing a conversation with Wife in which I gave her a soft ultimatum - roughly phase 4 of MMsL - to the effect that I wanted more sex and affection and that it was an issue I was prepared to end the marriage over. No firm deadlines or anything, just a clear statement of what I wanted and that I considered it to be a non-negotiable minimum over time. Enough time has passed for me to say that this was a mistake. There were some minor changes in her behavior, bu…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/16 07:23 PM
1

God damn it, I think I'm starting to see what may be holding me back. I'm 5'10" and 150lbs. Am I really 30 fucking pounds underweight?!? That might explain a few things . . . .
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/16 03:27 AM
11

Dude, she's shit testing you. She doesn't think you're wrong or right. She thinks your weak because you actually care what she thinks.
/r/askMRP04/08/16 02:33 AM
0

That's literally a covert contract.
/r/askMRP25/07/16 04:36 PM
2

How is this about boundaries? You sound like a lazy fuck. You should be up first, not giving your wife a chance to nag you for something you admit you should be doing anyway. I know it's been a whole week of MRP for you, but you still sound drunk to me.
/r/askMRP25/07/16 02:55 PM
1

Aside from the craziness, the other thing that jumps out of your post is your statement that your wife is a 4. So no job, a complete harpy bitch, a kid, and not physically attractive. Why are you with her? Are you just waiting around to die? You can be better than this.
/r/askMRP22/07/16 07:34 PM
3

So tempted to make a joke, but I'll give you one I use for lifting (which I stole from someone else): This is why I'm here. Whenever I'm tempted to slack off or to cheat a little because it hurts, I remind myself that the whole reason I'm lifting is to induce the muscular pain and fatigue that makes me stronger. "This is why I'm here."
/r/askMRP21/07/16 10:15 PM
3

Also, your comments under "what I should have done" aren't wrong, necessarily, but its rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic. You don't need to tweak your interactions with your wife here and there. You need to rethink your whole relationship.
/r/askMRP21/07/16 10:09 PM
9

I feel for you. You may get a lot of responses saying that you're to blame for all of this, but in this case your wife sounds like she's genuinely crazy. Seriously, I think you're so close that you've grown numb to it, but what you describe is not normal behavior no matter how much of a fuck up you are. Based on what you write here, I can't imagine why you wouldn't divorce this person. I get that you're concerned for your daughter, but do you really think home schooling with your wife is a healt…
/r/askMRP21/07/16 10:03 PM
1

This is true, but it also explains why it's such a common trap. Unless or until someone calls him out on his bullshit, a white knight thinks he's helping because he wants to help. He literally thinks he's a nice guy.
/r/askMRP21/07/16 06:19 AM
1

Laundry: Just realized that I do this too. Thanks for pointing it out for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/16 12:12 AM
1

What Persaeus said. And, if you do it right, it comes across as a DHV. Nothing wrong with saying thanks, but note that my phrasing isn't thanks, it's a compliment.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/16 11:56 PM
1

See my comment above. It's almost pathological. People keep asking you what you want out of life, and you keep reframing the question as what do you want your wife to do for you? Here's a newsflash: she's not ever going to do anything for you, and neither is anyone else. What do you want for yourself out of life?
/r/askMRP20/07/16 10:43 PM
1

No, not ok. OP is still dodging the question. Everything that he listed is still in terms of her. To not be nagged (by her). To be in control (instead of her). Without judgment or harpy shit (from her). This is the core issue, OP. I don't think you're dodging, actually. I think you genuinely don't even understand the question. What do you want from your life? What. Do. You. Want. From. Your. Life?
/r/askMRP20/07/16 10:40 PM
1

FFS, you fantasize that she'll leave you? If you want it to end, then just end it. If not, then don't. But waiting to see what she decides to do is beyond weak.
/r/askMRP20/07/16 10:34 PM
2

"I don't have an eloquent way to describe this yet, but can instantly point it out." There's a metaphor in Buddhist thought that I think fits here. It's like trying to show someone the moon by pointing to it with your hand. You point to it over and over again, but they keep focusing on your hand. "Yes, I see your hand. I get it - you want me to look at your hand." At some point, they have to experience the insight that it's not about your hand.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/16 07:02 PM
1

Yup. People seem unable to grasp sometimes that loving your kids with all your heart does not always mean being their friend or giving them what they want. Same mistake men make wth their women, I guess. It's a miracle that we've sustained the species for as long as we have.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/16 06:35 PM
1

If your taking notes while studying comedy clips to pass a shit test, I think you're on the wrong track. That's the opposite of DGAF. Just STFU and move on with your life. If she cooked dinner, how about just saying "this tastes really good." Congrats on the weight loss and the salary bump.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/16 02:14 PM
1

That's fine, but that's not "disowning" your kids. Teenagers can be complete bastards - and then turn around completely in a couple years when they leave home. It's shocking and painful when it's your kids, but it's also common knowledge.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/16 01:51 PM
3

Maybe there's worse you aren't telling, but these two statements are totally normal things for any 18 year old to say, even a well adjusted kid with no issues. That's just how teenagers are. In a few years, you'll be amazed how different things may be. If this is as bad as it gets, you're really overreacting. That doesn't mean you should give her the car, do what you want. But don't "disown" her, that's total bullshit. Try to keep some line of communication open and wait things out a few years. …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/07/16 01:40 PM
2

Lol
/r/askMRP18/07/16 11:33 PM
1

"Everything has gone downhill ever since." How could it get any worse? Theres probably nothing she could do to persuade me not to divorce, but this sounds like she isn't even trying.
/r/askMRP18/07/16 10:08 PM
4

You want MRP sub. You'll find ideas there.
/r/TheRedPill17/07/16 01:36 AM
1

I wasn't buying all the talking, but four pounds is four pounds. You've proven that what you're doing works, you just have to keep doing it.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/16 07:01 PM
2

Clearly you are right. It's a shame, though, because STFU is the ultimate training wheels for OI. Maybe I can't yet be OI about everything, but at least I can be OI for the next five seconds, just let her words blow through me like the wind through leaves of a tree. For me, this was such an eye opener, like discovering a whole different dimension of living that somehow never occurred to me. Wow, I can just STFU! Incredible!
/r/askMRP15/07/16 06:49 PM
1

Lol. At least he's asking us and not his wife . . . Gotta start somewhere.
/r/askMRP15/07/16 01:22 AM
1

Bare minimum - Yes, that thought occurs to me as well. But there's nothing about last night that prevents me from continuing to run my MAP. There are two risks to laying down an ultimatum (in this case, a soft umtimatum). First, she may call your bluff and leave if you don't have the leverage you think you have (e.g., your a fat fuck). I'm comfortable I'm not in that category, and her reaction this morning confirms that to me. The second risk, which is real and I think what you're talking about,…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 07:41 PM
2

As a follow up, I had a significant conversation with Wife last night. Going to bed after a pleasant evening, I tried to initiate and was shot down. On the spur of the moment, I told her that it was getting old, not just the lack of sex but also the near complete lack of physical affection of any sort. She sort of blew it off and accused me of being a sex addict (because once a week is not enough for me). So I took the plunge and told her that I didn't want to stay married if it meant a life wit…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/16 04:49 PM
1

This is the right answer
/r/askMRP14/07/16 02:32 AM
1

Good advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/16 11:28 PM
2

Six months since finding MRP. I had a rough patch the last month -- stopped lifting, stopped pushing the envelope, started feeling sorry for myself. I was too embarrassed to post anything more here until I picked myself back up and got things turned around again. I'm disappointed in myself, but all I can do now is learn from the experience and use it as fuel for my future success. Work was the problem -- a large emergency situation that required all of my time and psychic energy to get through. …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/16 09:03 PM
1

A lot of really good advice in this thread.
/r/askMRP13/07/16 07:30 PM
7

Didn't realize this was possible, but you've somehow managed to fuck up STFU, and it's symbolic of your larger mistakes too. STFU, at least for a beginner, means don't engage at all. It doesn't mean engage silently. Just say nothing and move on with your day. You aren't trying to win anything or make any point, your just indifferent and OI. You can't win a shit test. The only way to win is not to play. So STFU. AM and AA are more sophisticated ways of not playing, but you aren't ready, and STFU …
/r/askMRP13/07/16 03:26 PM
2

The bit about the renowned astro/numerologist was a joke to see if we were still reading, right?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/16 03:06 AM
2

See how effective it is when someone holds frame and doesn't DEER? The bad news is that you've got a long road ahead. But the good news is that you've got a good role model to follow in your wife. She's demonstrating for you exactly how to assert yourself. As for this specific situation, it seems obvious to me: Invite the guy over. Your wife can choose to join or not. If you're thinking you don't want to do it without your wife, then this is a good chance to realize that you're clinging to her. …
/r/askMRP10/07/16 03:00 PM
1

I lift at home. Bought everything through craigslist for cheap. You need a pull-up bar, a rack that lets you do bench press and squats, a barbell, and at least 200 lbs in weights to get started.
/r/askMRP09/07/16 01:34 PM
3

Sounds like you're fucked. You're all but begging her for affection, no job, and 30 lbs overweight. Normally I'd advise you that you need to improve yourself, but you already fucking rule and are already owning your shit. Sounds like there's nothing else you can do. Maybe someone else will come along and fix your problems.
/r/askMRP07/07/16 10:33 PM
2

Economy went to shit eight years ago. Bio-technology should be in pretty good shape these days. I have no idea what you mean by no innovation. If you've got an advanced science degree in a biotechnology field, I'm surprised you can't pull six figures. Where do you live?
/r/askMRP07/07/16 07:33 PM
3

This obviously isn't the place to come for sympathy, as I'm sure you know. And thank god for that. You've got a hard road ahead, and nobody's going to thank you for walking it. But you'll be stronger for it. Keep soldiering on.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/16 06:09 AM
5

This. You don't seem to realize it yet, but the problem you're going to run up against is not whether you can forgive her or whether you can Trust her. By the looks of it, you're already there. The problem you've got is, how will she ever be able to respect you again if you take her back? She's on her best behavior now. But eventually, weeks or months from now, she'll do something shitty to you because that's just how all humans can be sometimes. She'll bitch at you about something, or disrespec…
/r/askMRP07/07/16 05:54 AM
4

If she called you a Fucktard in front of your kids, that's not a shit test in my book. That's an unacceptable lack of respect that needs to stop.
/r/askMRP07/07/16 04:23 AM
2

Not dread. Somewhere around here -I think it was a post by JackTenofHearts - is a post that lays out a three step process for MRP and frame. You are in her frame. You are in your frame and she is in her frame. She is in your frame. The idea is that it's not enough to break free from her frame. Eventually, you have to entice her to join your frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/16 04:09 AM
2

My life wasn't so different than yours when I started six months ago. Search my history for details. Follow the advice here and things can improve. My advice: Lift. It's more important than you think. STFU. I shut down years of bickering literally overnight by simply not engaging. Get your own shit together. Just focus on you. Stop worrying about your wife's thoughts or actions. Again just focus on you. I respect the fact that divorce is off the table, but you can't implement dread without leavi…
/r/askMRP06/07/16 03:02 PM
2

Why let go? Use it to make you a better man. Realizing that you're gonna die can make you live a better life. In the same way, realizing that she could find happiness without you can make you a better man.
/r/askMRP05/07/16 09:11 PM
1

Your frame is all wrong. Who cares what's appropriate or what you should do? For that matter, who cares what a bunch of Internet strangers think? The right question is, what do you want to accomplish, and what's the most effective strategy for getting it?
/r/askMRP04/07/16 02:01 PM
2

"you're making me regret my talk about eating paint." See what happens? This is why we can't have nice things.
/r/askMRP02/07/16 08:28 PM
4

If you're going to have a covert contract, at least make it a good one.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/16 08:21 PM
0

Clean?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/16 06:05 PM
1

Your post is full of Nice Guy covert contracts. That shit stops now. You control you, you're responsible for yourself.
/r/askMRP02/07/16 04:25 PM
2

If you're not lifting, youre wasting everybody's time, especially yours. Nail that piece down and see how much things will open up for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/16 04:14 PM
7

Agree, but just make sure they are your goals. It's perfectly possible to spend your time diligently working on someone else's goals for your life, which puts you in their frame, not yours.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/16 04:02 PM
2

I don't know why I have such a hard time accepting this simple truth.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/16 09:51 PM
2

Well, yes and no. If your wife thinks your attractive, then sure, eat paint. And sure, eating some paint now and then could help move the needle in that direction. But let's not kid ourselves. If you're a new guy and your wife holds you in contempt because you've been a drunk captain for ten years, then eating paint could very well cause her to decide that your shit just isn't worth it anymore.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/16 09:45 PM
6

If you're telling us the full story, then he sounds like a despicable asshole. You need to do whatever needs to be done to take care of your daughter.
/r/askMRP01/07/16 06:41 AM
1

Not gonna get into the politics of it, but in terms of MRP, it's obvious what this means: Trump has a very strong frame, but your wife is not buying in to his frame at all. She thinks you are like him because she sees you have a strong frame but she isn't buying into your frame at all. You're at Step 2.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/16 02:41 PM
1

What do you mean by "I stopped looking for signals or responses from most of my interactions"? I think you mean your not spending energy trying to sense what other people are thinking in response to you. Yes? I like that idea. I often feel like I've got a fucking loudspeaker blaring in my head with a non-stop feed of what other people are thinking. Is this something you came up with on your own or something you picked up reading somewhere?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 06:01 AM
1

That or, you know, someone could just manually start an open thread every week, like we had to do in the old days when I was a small boy growing up in Soviet Russia.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 05:31 AM
5

You're taking some abuse here and rolling with it, so good on you for that. Financial status gets you nothing with her. I know that's bullshit, but I don't make the rules. Social status might, but not if you mean something like I live in a fancy house and hang out with educated people. Social status to her is like being a bartender or lead singer in a crappy band. To your immediate problem, I wouldn't drop divorce on her for this. I mean, divorce her if you want, but not over this. Instead, I wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 05:22 AM
7

You're delusional. It's obvious your wife's not attracted to you. Based on what I read here, I can't say I blame her. You seem stern, boring, and humorless. What exactly is it that you bring to the table for her? Hikes, bikes and bowling - can't believe she isn't dripping wet with all that on offer. Take her out, for Christ sake. I don't get the problem with hanging out with her sister. That's not GNO in my book. It's just hanging out with her family. If you make her choose between you and her s…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/16 02:57 AM
7

I still think you're talking about it so you won't have to do it.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 06:07 PM
1

Yeah, I checked it out. I was hoping it might be a different take. I've had times in my life where I've felt on top of the world, so I feel like I know the feeling I'm trying to capture and internalize. Back to the mountain.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/06/16 02:31 AM
1

Thanks, I think you nailed it pretty well. I'm gonna see what I can find on PUA inner game.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/16 10:29 PM
1

I think a lot here is just semantics. Ego in the sense meant here is sort of like a self-image that you need to protect. So high confidence is actually less ego in this sense, because not feeling that you have to protect yourself - not giving a fuck - can actually be a key to real confidence.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/16 08:56 PM
1

After more thinking, I've got two distinct problems that are blurring together in my mind. Problem one is that wife shows no signs of responding to my MAP. Problem two is that I'm still completely in her frame. Problem one is completely outside of my control. I can run whatever MAP I want, but whether and how wife responds is up to her alone. It's foolish and weak to condition my happiness or success on something that is completely outside of my control. Problem two is within my control. I'm in …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/16 02:27 AM
1

That's easy. Find a movie from the black and white era starring a well known leading man, and chances are you'll see an RP relationship. I'm partial to old Paul Newman movies myself.
/r/askMRP26/06/16 07:58 PM
1

You nailed it - she doesn't feel dread. She knows I'm a careful person who would never do anything to jeopardize the health and happiness of my kids. She knows I've been putting up with almost no sex or affection for years and never left. The whole thing really has been a massive covert contract. Not 100% - a lot of it really has been about me - but in the back of my mind I'm doing this to get a response from her. I've been secretly nursing a grudge, counting how many days it's been since she sa…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/16 02:31 PM
1

I'm ready to give up. I've been pursuing my MAP for six months. Lifting, tanned, weight and diet dialed in, running 15 miles a week. Passing shit tests. Taking the lead at home. I've grown into a new man. Less sex than ever. Wife pushes me away or runs away when I approach her even for a simple hug. Never shows physical affection - except for those days - about once or twice a month - when she decides sex is on the table, when she's awesome. Meanwhile, we get along great. I believed MRP was offe…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/16 06:01 AM
10

I can't speak for anyone else, but my first thought when I read your post was, How the hell does this help me any? I basically could care less about your philosophical ramblings on why you think women are making poor choices unless you tie it back to something I can use to improve my life. My sense is that MRP is less tolerant of pie in the sky musings on the meaning of life. We're in the trenches dealing with the woman we've got, usually while balancing kids and a career and maybe staring mid-l…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/16 09:42 PM
1

"If my husband only shows me love and affection if I give him sex, then his love is not sincere." As a man, I completely agree with you. But if I'm advising a woman, she's got a different strategy.
/r/askMRP24/06/16 02:36 AM
1

You may be right. I think I'd feel the same. But seems like every day some chump posts on askMRP with a story about how he not only stuck with his wife but tried even harder to please her and can't understand what went wrong. That said, I'll concede that I know fuck all about relationships and am probably the last person anyone should be coming to for advice.
/r/askMRP23/06/16 09:37 PM
1

This exactly like a group of women advising a man to save his marriage by sharing his feelings, helping around the house, treating her like a queen, and so on, because "that's what women want.". Would you tell a guy to give his attention and passion to his wife for free and then hope for good sex? Then why tell a woman to give good sex to her husband for free and hope for attention and passion?
/r/askMRP23/06/16 09:27 PM
1

See my edit. I feel the way you do, but that's not how most guys think - which is why this site exists in the first place.
/r/askMRP23/06/16 09:18 PM
-10

I think you're getting bad advice here, because you're asking men, and they're telling you what they think they want in a woman - but not what they actually want. My advice would be to (1) increase your sexual attractiveness, and (2) decrease your sexual availability to your husband. You're always there for him when he needs you, so he doesn't value you. Make yourself scarce and that'll change. EDIT: Lol. I knew I'd be down voted to hell, but you guys are missing the point. My advice wouldn't wo…
/r/askMRP23/06/16 06:55 PM
2

No beatings from me. Stay with it. Keep lifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 10:45 PM
7

This is how it happens. You have your own awesome life. Your wife chips away at it bit by bit. You know you're right to resist . . . but you think, maybe I can meet her somewhere in the middle. Rinse, repeat, two years later you're a frustrated Nice Guy and you can't quite remember where it all went wrong. So a few questions to sharpen your thinking: Never mind leaving for an hour. Why did you spend a whole day at home with your wife in the first place? Did she guilt you into that too? What if y…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/16 10:33 PM
1

QED
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 09:54 PM
1

A lot of this is cultural. Where I live, using words like faggot and so on mark you as a low status loser. It's not a question of being offensive or PC, really. It just marks you as low value, stuck in the past, insecure with the reality of how the world is today, and a loser. People aren't bothered by you, it's more like the annoyed pity you feel when you're around someone who doesn't bathe. Seeing this stuff can be jarring to me not because I'm offended, but because it causes me to do a double…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 07:04 PM
1

Talk about training wheels! "Here are the shit tests that you will get here. Here's the reason that you're failing them. This is exactly what you need to do to pass them." If you cant hold frame after having it spelled out for you like that, you have NO CHANCE of passing the tests a woman will give you.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 06:48 PM
8

Here's a hard truth: This whole post is just an elaborate way of getting validation for saying you're going to lose weight without actually having to do it. I can't believe no one is calling you out on your bullshit. You're not going to do a damn thing. Prove me wrong.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/06/16 03:48 PM
2

Others are ripping in to you, so I'll try to go easier. Your whole post is an extended argument for why your wife is an unreasonable bitch. Clearly that's also your inner dialogue with yourself. By definition, all of those thoughts are in her frame. This may the part that you're missing: being in her frame doesn't mean agreeing with her, it means accepting her terms as the terms of the discussion. So "I'm reasonable," "No, you're not reasonable" are all in her frame. An example of getting outsid…
/r/askMRP07/06/16 01:41 AM
5

Can't argue with success, but just a friendly warning to keep in mind: Your first post says you plan to drive off without your wife next time she's late. Your second post says you took over the finances without a word, just a slap on the ass. If it's working, it's working. But just keep in mind that ultimately you have to earn leadership by being and staying awesome. So stay awesome.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/16 04:03 AM
1

I read the article. I dont think you really do it justice. It's not about choreplay. In the context of the article, "How can I make your day better?" isn't about doing chores. It starts that way, but the whole point is that after a few days, the wife stops asking for chores and instead starts offering to do things for him. The result is that they both start seeing themselves and their relationship in a new way. All that being said, though, the article makes no claim that the wife starts having m…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/16 05:23 AM
0

Totally agree. This shit is a waste of time.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/16 05:21 PM
1

So that's it?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 11:55 PM
3

I'm surprised how many guys are telling you to next her or otherwise leap to some butthurt overreation. Just keep lifting. Make yourself better than this guy. Leave his bullshit in the dust. Anything else is just negotiating over the terms of your defeat.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/16 11:36 PM
5

That's called a James Bond shower.
/r/askMRP26/05/16 05:23 AM
4

You should start today, and go for it. I happen to think lifting is 90% of the answer, so I've got no problem with your plan to just quietly start lifting and see where it takes you. I suggest you go hang out at r/fitness. I do the PPL routine in the wiki there and it works. It's not always easy, but it is simple: If you keep lifting, you will get there.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 11:45 PM
1

You don't seem to understand what setting boundaries means. She doesn't have to agree with your boundaries. She doesn't get any input at all. Thats the whole point of setting a boundary. Honestly, the part of your story that seems strangest to me is that you announce to your wife when you use porn. Either do it, or don't, but either way it's your decision, not hers. Reclaim your life.
/r/askMRP25/05/16 07:44 PM
3

But is he ready? He broke down in tears when his wife challenged him about going out for a walk.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/16 03:29 PM
3

Well, it's easier than lifting. Maybe it's time to update the sidebar with some of this Target gift card magic.
/r/askMRP25/05/16 12:28 AM
4

A gift card to Target?
/r/askMRP24/05/16 09:49 PM
6

Ignore it. In fact, why not quit FB altogether?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 03:41 PM
3

I agree. It's possible she thought she could threaten divorce again because she "knew" you'd keep crawling back. That's not a reason to stay, btw. That's yet another reason to go, IMHO.
/r/askMRP24/05/16 03:18 AM
6

You seem to have your shit moving in the right direction. Especially admire your intention to make time for hanging with your boys. No matter what happens from here on out with your marriage, the most important thing that'll ever come from it is your kids, so props for embracing that. When your wife is a distant memory, you'll still be hanging with your boys.
/r/askMRP24/05/16 03:15 AM
2

A year? I cringe at some of my posts before I even post them. All part of the show.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/16 02:50 AM
-2

But FFS, talk about your failures too. Don't just hang back until you rack up another win.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 10:02 PM
3

I think those 12 years may have done some permanent damage. Do you want to give this another try?
/r/askMRP23/05/16 05:36 AM
4

Yes, lifting. It's no exaggeration to say that it's transformed my life, even if it hasn't yet transformed my marriage. I've been lifting six months. I started with the bar alone, and am up to BP = 135, OHP = 87.5, Squat = 175, DL = 160 (back issues), Pull-ups 3 x 10. I weigh 150 lbs so my challenge is adding mass, not losing weight. I also trained for and ran my first marathon during those six months. Cardio doesn't get the same respect around here, but it has its place, so long as it's in addi…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 05:15 AM
2

Damn, is that a typo? You're down 70 pounds since February? That's flat out amazing.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/16 04:56 AM
3

Anger at the past = so many wasted years, etc. Anger at what you're still living with = she's still withholding sex. It's a lot easier to get over the first kind when the second kind is no longer an issue.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/16 01:10 AM
2

There's two kinds of anger - anger at the past, and anger over what you're still living with everyday.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/16 11:59 PM
1

Comfort tests? No, she never comes to me with those. She handles her own shit - or not - on her own. In fifteen years, I've seen her cry once, and that was silent tears and even then she didn't open up to me about it. I've suggested counseling, either for her or for us, in my blue pill days, but she wants nothing to do with it. She's not much for discussing the relationship, to put it mildly. On the few occasions that I've managed to engage her on it, she's mostly insisted that there's nothing w…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/16 07:04 PM
9

I'm no apologist for counsellors, but they've got an almost impossible job. I'm sure she took one look at you the first session and thought something like, "Why don't you drop 40 pounds and then we'll see if there's anything else that needs to be said?" But if she says that and you're not in a place where you're willing to hear it, then you never come back and nothing happens. In the end, you have to fix your own issues.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/16 07:01 PM
1

Funny you mention it, I originally used the word abuse, but then changed it. Abuse implies helpless victim, and it just felt like the wrong term as applied to my wife. She frustrates the hell out of me, but she's nothing if not a survivor. I don't know how to compare her situation with a shipwreck or a military engagement, since I've never experienced any of those things. But everything is magnified when you're a kid.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/16 04:56 PM
2

Never heard of GAD before, but that seems to ring a lot of bells. She's high strung and has OCD tendencies. She worries a lot. She's almost incapable of relaxing unless she's drunk or watching tv. On those occasions when we do have sex, she seems nervous about it - cracking jokes, wants to control what's happening. She's one of the least empathetic people I've ever met - never asks about my day, never asks what's troubling me, has never asked me about my past, and I've noticed it's not just me. …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/16 04:38 PM
3

Holy shit -- talk about burying the lede! She's sleeping with another guy, out in the open, while you're married? Hate to say it, but I'm not sure you can come back from that. I'm not sure why you'd want to. I understand that you don't want to break up your family for the sake of your son, but I think the train has left the station.
/r/askMRP20/05/16 01:26 AM
3

I think I'm hitting the sophomore slump. I've mostly internalized the basics and picked up the low-hanging fruit. Life in general is going well. But sex with wife has actually gotten even less frequent, if that were possible. Lifting continues to plug along. I stopped cutting and started eating at a surplus, and my lifts are still (slowly) climbing. Back pain is gone and my legs are quickly catching up now, which is nice. Physically, I think I look like your standard Jesus on the Cross -- lean, …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/16 01:17 AM
1

Probably. Mostly I was just in a pissy mood. I was browsing in the gym after my wife rejected me again. Honestly, I'm not sure why I thought anyone would really care why I'm here. But thanks for the thoughtful response.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/16 12:55 AM
2

That's not why I'm here.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 04:48 AM
3

No.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/16 12:27 AM
2

What you want and what you're attracted to are two entirely different things. And what would actually make you happy is yet a third thing.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 07:06 PM
2

Yes. One thing that meditation taught me is that humans are story machines. We take in mountains of sensory impressions and turn them into stories, and then we discard the raw input and accept those stories as reality. You can live your entire life and never realize that the whole thing was just a story that you created. Blue pill is a story. So is red pill. Same raw input, but drastically different stories. Meditation is like a weak acid that slowly eats away at those stories. Then at odd momen…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 07:03 PM
4

Same advice as last week: Put everything else on hold and hit the gym hard. That's your only priority right now. Flood the zone. Full court press. Pick your favorite sports analogy. Throw everything that you have at hitting the gym. Nail that and your other problems will be transformed. Fail that, and you're just wasting your time.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/16 03:40 PM
1

Well, yes, but not exactly. I would describe Buddhism as a systematic method for seeing reality as it actually is, without imposing any conceptions onto reality. Your drawing analogy is a good one. Buddhist meditation is sort of like drawing upside down. Strip away what you think is there, and just see what's actually there. I guess I'd add that most Buddhists would tell you that one of the concepts that you think exists but on close inspection turns out not to exist is "you." But YMMV.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 09:41 PM
1

Thanks for this post, very helpful. You sound like you're in a situation where your woman is an active partner in wanting to make things work. Unfortunately I'm not there at the moment, but you paint a picture of where I'd like to get to.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/16 02:04 AM
-1

Holy shit, you have to listen to your gf tell you what she ate every day?
/r/askMRP16/05/16 06:34 PM
1

No, not crazy. She's a control freak, though. A highly-capable control freak. If hats a reaction to her childhood, then I'm thinking it may mean that my captaining will have to super on point before she'll trust me to lead.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/16 02:01 PM
1

Go deeper?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/16 01:59 PM
3

This is what I believe as well. She definitely had no issues with sex for the first years of our relationship. My wife isn't using it as an excuse, though, at least not to me. She never talks about it. I guess I'm just looking for answers. I've been MAP-ing for five months and am seeing huge gains in my life, but no changes from her when it comes to sex. Yes, massive covert contract, I know.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/16 01:57 PM
0

Buddhism in a nutshell.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/16 09:33 PM
0

Read MMSL. That covers it. It's your action plan.
/r/askMRP15/05/16 09:20 PM
1

Why not just point your friend to this sub?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/16 02:02 AM
3

Great job documenting your many failures. How about picking one thing - lifting - and nailing that one to the mast?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/05/16 04:04 PM
5

You win.
/r/askMRP06/05/16 05:52 AM
2

Looks like step one is in the bag. Good luck.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 02:25 AM
2

That's a fancy way of trying to avoid responsibility for your life, but it's bullshit. You're not helplessly brainwashed. You're a man making your own decisions. You can choose to make other decisions, or not. It's up to you. But if you're going no to throw years of your life away, at least own it.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/16 02:03 AM
2

Much less sex = you do you Kind of takes on an added meaning, lol
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 02:04 PM
2

So subdue her by force, immobilize her with an arm lock, carry her to another room, then whisper I fucking love you in her ear and walk away. Fuck it - that actually might work. I'll give it a try.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 03:04 AM
2

Truer words were never spoken. So enlighten me. I'm describing behavior that actually happens, but I'd love to hear where you think I'm going wrong.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/16 12:55 AM
3

I'm never sure what to make of posts like this. When I try any of that stuff with wife, I get completely shut down, as in stiff armed as she flees from the room complaining. If she'd let me grab her and spin her around, this shit would be a cakewalk.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 10:06 PM
2

All modesty aside, I've got the listening part down cold. Everybody that knows me thinks I'm a very thoughtful listener. TBH, that hasn't exactly resounded to my benefit over the years, but I agree it's a good quality. But what I'm ultimately going for here is what I'd call assertive leadership skills.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 10:01 PM
6

I can relate. My wife hasn't asked me how my day/life is going for more than 10 years. I finally accepted that she just genuinely does not care. I grieved over it a bit, like you seem to be doing. But in the end, that's life. As a man, you're alone in this world. That's why the red pill is bitter. But it's reality.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 04:41 PM
1

This is true, but I have a tendency to rely on this tactic too much. I often leave conversations thinking that I know a lot about them but they know nothing at all about me, because I never revealed myself to them in any meaningful way. I need to strike a better balance. But this is just tactics. The main thing for me is to just immerse myself in constant practice and I'll figure it out as I go. My first goal is simply to say words to everyone around me and have them say words back to me. That's…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/16 04:25 PM
1

I posted here just last week, but had an important epiphany this week so I'm posting again. I had another element of my vision for myself click into place: I want to be (able to be) the most popular guy in the room. Whether I choose to follow through on it at any given moment will depend on the room, obviously. But I want to know that I can turn it on anytime I want, speak to anyone, make a friend, pick up a number, lead the party, run the meeting. I want to be capable of socially leading whatev…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 08:02 PM
1

Wow, talk about living in her frame! She's got you shit testing yourself, man. A little improvement is ok, but don't do anything that could possibly rock the boat?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 02:03 PM
3

Another great analogy.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 01:59 PM
7

Only if you improve yourself to the point that she cares whether you leave. But why stop there? Keep going until you're so awesome that it's obvious to you both that she's lucky to have you.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 01:57 PM
2

LOL, you're right. I brought my balls to a sword fight for years, and that turned out exactly like you'd expect.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/16 03:06 AM
1

Nice post. Good insight. Do you lift?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/16 06:45 PM
3

I think this is a good sign. If she says she doesn't care where you are, that means she does. Or at least, she's noticed that you're going out more. Your post almost reads like she's encouraging you on your little red pill adventure. You know the saying, first they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. Sounds like shes laughing. Keep going.
/r/askMRP02/05/16 06:25 PM
2

If she feels the need to say that dread is not working, that's a sure sign that it is.
/r/askMRP02/05/16 06:21 PM
1

Always thought "Captain Save-A-Hoe" would be an awesome name for a comic book hero. "Captain Save-A-Retard" not so much. . .
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/16 04:10 AM
5

Strongly disagree about "I" posts. Too lazy to read the sidebar, sure. But if a guy is trying but is just blind to the fact that he's still in his wife's frame, that's exactly where this sub excels. The substantive content of the sub isn't rally all that much - mostly the same information over and over again. The main value of posting is so that others can point out your blind spots.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/16 07:34 PM
0

My wife was like this. TBH it sorta bugged me. As I've implemented MRP, she drives less and less. FWIW.
/r/askMRP30/04/16 03:28 AM
3

I can't make heads or tails of your question. But I can guarantee you this: you definitely do not "analyze the situation before determining how you feel about it." That ain't how it works.
/r/askMRP29/04/16 05:32 AM
1

Good post, but you seem to be describing a different solution to a different problem. You say you never let yourself go physically, socially or beta-wise. So then what did you get out of reading MRP? I'm not getting what the breakthrough was for you? Sort of sounds like you're saying you finally put you foot down and fucked her real hard and problem solved. Was there anything more to it?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 05:08 AM
1

Fuck, now I feel kind of bad. Really am on your side.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 04:08 AM
2

I had a similar reaction to your post. Hard to put into words, but anytime I see a super long post that inventories every nook and cranny of your life and comes up with a laundry list of change resolutions, I groan a little. This used to be me, so I understand the impulse. But it's just another form of "reddit and Covey." You like the feeling of plotting out how you'll get your shit together, but it isn't actually improving anything. It's just talk. You can waste years going through this same ex…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 03:47 PM
1

Roughly four months in, and my early (somewhat vague) goals have been accomplished - established a solid lifting routine, looking pretty lean and diet is under control, patrolling my boundaries, passing (some) shit tests. Life is pretty good. Time to set some new goals. Lifting Full six pack has appeared and my lifts have stalled. I think I've gone as far as I can with recomp. It's time to increase calories and start adding more muscle. I'm aiming for the following milestones: DL = 300 (2 x body…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 05:58 AM
3

You've set the boundary, so enforce it. Don't fight with her, don't argue, don't even discuss the merits calmly. Just stick with a broken record that says what you'll be doing without DEERing. The larger problem you have is dealing with a wife who you think has mental issues. Maybe so. But you should also consider the very real possibility that she's completely normal and healthy, and is only acting the way that she does because she's unconsciously playing the part that she's been scripted to pl…
/r/askMRP27/04/16 01:10 AM
4

As soon as I read the title, I knew who posted this. Don't take this the wrong way, Mort, I'm actually on your side. But looking over your posts I see that you've been lifting for eight weeks, haven't yet come up with your initial MAP, and yet keep telling us how you're hitting one home run after the other by using some clever RP wordplay. If it's working for you, then good. But if I were you I'd seriously consider the possibility that you may be deluding yourself about some of your perceived su…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/16 12:53 AM
2

You sound like a busybody. If people around you want to work long hours, so what?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/16 06:30 PM
2

Weird, I also just attended y first BJJ class yesterday, and it unfolded exactly how you describe, except that every time I tapped out I asked my sparring partner what I did wrong, and got some helpful information that way. I agree it's a bit unstructured - no learn this first, then learn this second, and practice this at home. That actually fits pretty well with what I'm looking for, though. I'm not looking to master the fine points of a sport so much as just getting in there and mixing it up.
/r/askMRP26/04/16 06:22 PM
1

Check your upper legs. I couldn't lose the last bit from my lower abs even though I was watching my weight go down. Seemed impossible but then one day I noticed that my upper thighs were showing new definition and realized I'd been losing fat I didn't know I had from my upper legs.
/r/askMRP26/04/16 03:55 AM
2

Congrats. But keep lifting.
/r/askMRP25/04/16 09:41 PM
7

Yes, for sure. One small example - I've been trying to stop drinking soda for five years without success. Then I started hitting the gym and literally quit cold turkey in a single day, no problem. This idea is explored in Mindful Action Plan (companion/sequel to MMSLP). He talks about energy levels, and how increases in energy level tend to happen in tandem across all areas of your life. In addition to being interesting, it also suggests a strategy : If you've hit a plateau of improvement in one…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/16 04:33 AM
2

I'm trying - and failing - to understand how your wife could be on FB while you're banging her.
/r/askMRP24/04/16 04:00 AM
6

Option 1: Tell her you're sorry, say that it's been really hard the last few days for you not having your best friend to talk with, and then cry it out together. Option 2: Ignore it and move ahead with your life. Keep reading until the right option is obvious to you.
/r/askMRP23/04/16 09:36 PM
1

Definitely on my short list. Watching videos, though, it looks a lot like wrestling, but it's hard to tell what's really going on. Seems to a popular choice for law enforcement types, which I like.
/r/askMRP23/04/16 02:10 PM
1

For me, self defense is irrelevant. What do you think of karate?
/r/askMRP23/04/16 02:07 PM
1

Yes. But no. If you really believe that women act the way that they do because of biological imperatives (I'm not sure I buy it, but the fact that all women are like that certainly suggests that basic biology may be at work), then I think you've got to pay some respect to Mother Nature here. I don't like that women withhold sex, but I respect that it's a biological strategy that's been honed over the last hundred thousand years or more for the greater good of the human race. If women could get t…
/r/askMRP23/04/16 04:57 AM
1

What's the "first step" that you're stuck on? That you can't build frame because your wife criticizes you constantly about stupid shit? You just described every married woman in the history of mankind. You're gonna need a better excuse. How about hiring a maid to do the small shit for you? Seems like you can afford it.
/r/askMRP23/04/16 04:35 AM
3

LOL, I love this place! Yes, for me this is a hopeful, positive philosophy. Helps me to stop worrying about satisfying every momentary desire, because there just gonna be another one coming along behind.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/16 03:15 AM
1

I'm not sure it works unless you withhold sex and disrespect him first. Only joking, but not entirely. What this sub advises is pretty damn hard, and it helps to be a little desperate. I'm not sure "because my wife asked me to" will be enough. Maybe you should criticize your marriage a bit.
/r/askMRP21/04/16 11:49 PM
4

I'm not sure this question has any better answer. Humans, like all animals, are biologically designed to constantly scour the internal and external landscape searching for any present or potential source of discomfort or disadvantage, and then to feel an urge to improve their situation. In other words, we are designed to function in a constant loop of dissatisfaction. A satisfied animal is less likely to survive than a dissatisfied animal. That's why everyone has a bottomless void in the middle …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/16 11:39 PM
1

This. It's impossible to overstate how important it is to build yourself into a better physical specimen than the people around you. It seems irrelevant to the questions you're asking, but it's the answer.
/r/askMRP21/04/16 09:31 PM
2

I'm baffled by your post. Why is a dual income marriage "blue pill"? There's lots of examples where it works just fine, and also lots of SAHM marriages that are a blue pill nightmare. All that matters is what do you want? Your wife's question seems like a good one to me. Why did you marry her if you don't want a wife with a career? I read your answer as saying that you think it was a mistake and you probably wouldn't do it again. No surprise that she's pissed with that response.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/16 06:29 PM
2

Awesome post. You're roughly my age and have a similar outlook on life, I think, so I really appreciate your write up. You're farther along the road than me, but I'm planning to get to the same destination.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 09:19 PM
1

LOL, my wife too. Never fails that I gain some new RP insight and then realize that wife has been doing some version of it for years. If it's true that iron sharpens iron, then maybe that'll work to my advantage in the long run.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 09:14 PM
2

Then I guess you're fucked.
/r/askMRP20/04/16 08:48 PM
2

Good summary, and matches my experience as well. When you don't quite have your shit together yet, shit tests are hard because there's often a kernel of truth in them. You give in or DEER because you kind of realize that maybe she has a point. As you start handling your shit, you get more confident that it really is just a shit test because you know you're on top of things. Notice, by the way, that that's exactly how shit tests are "supposed" to work (from her perspective). She's testing to see …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 06:28 PM
6

Bragging = seeking validation. I sometimes get large bonuses. Wife likes the money, sure, but it never did anything to increase my attractiveness in her eyes. Better strategy (for me, anyway) is to act like its no big deal. Let her find out on her own, and then be impressed that it's so routine for you that you didn't even bother to mention it.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 06:15 PM
2

Awesome post. One thing that comes through is how much easier things are when you expand the circle of concern beyond just your wife. I found myself reading and sort of skimming over the stuff about the LTR because I wanted to find out more about all the other cool shit you've got going on in your life - which is exactly the dynamic you want. If I had one criticism in an otherwise amazing post, it's that by waiting a full year before posting and then editing it all together, you sort of lose any…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/16 12:45 AM
2

I'll chime in, since I had a small cameo in Jack's opus. He may be right about the similarities in our situations. Your wife sounds a lot like mine. I think he's right that a lot of the "sick and tired" stuff is a reaction to her feeling like she has to take care of a lot of little shit. Even if I think it's pointless shit that's just a waste of time, that doesn't change the fact that in her mind, it's something she has to take care of, which seems to "harden" my wife, if that makes sense. I got…
/r/askMRP19/04/16 07:51 PM
24

If you don't write the follow-up post, I'll hunt you down and kill you.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/16 07:13 PM
2

It depends on your goals. If you're trying to revive your sex life, then not initiating won't get you there (although a short break to regroup can help). If you're trying to improve yourself as a man, wife be damned (which sounds like where you are right now), then I think not initiating for a while if you aren't feeling it can be a good thing. Removes some distraction from your life to let you focus on yourself. And with no kids to worry about, you may decide that she's just not worth it.
/r/askMRP18/04/16 06:49 PM
1

As Bill Clinton used to say, you can't beat something with nothing. You want to stay at home, relax and hangout with your LTR. Sounds exciting. That might be appealing if you both were working 80 hours a week or something. But you're in grad school, which is already pretty close to doing nothing all day anyway (I speak from experience). Plan something awesome, like hitchhiking across the state or some other adventure. Invite her along. If she declines, do it alone. The reason she keeps going hom…
/r/askMRP18/04/16 06:37 PM
1

Gonna need to hear a perspective from someone who believes the Easter bunny is real.
/r/askMRP16/04/16 05:21 AM
1

Why are you telling us? So you don't have to do it? I would cut it down to just one - lift. Then flood the zone on that one priority. Focus all of your mental and spiritual energy on that one priority until you've nailed it into place.
/r/askMRP15/04/16 12:16 AM
1

Cold showers? I'm intrigued. What do you get out of it?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/16 04:09 PM
3

This works the other way around. You'll almost certainly be more attractive than your wife for the rest of your life. When you're back on our feet, you'll turn things around easily enough. If you're 20% bf, though, I'd agree that you could stand to lose a bit of weight. If you're 180lbs (guessing), then dropping from 20% to 12% means losing 15 lbs. At a pound per week, you're looking at a 3-4 month project. Why not go for it?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/16 04:06 PM
2

I can relate. Instead of forming a vision of what you want to have, or what you want to do, what if you formed a vision of who you want to be? The kind of man who . . . .
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/16 04:49 AM
5

I love my wife. I love my kids. I don't want or plan to cheat. I don't want to treat my wife disrespectfully in front of the kids. So far I've had to make exactly zero adjustments to the advice given here. Lots of adjustments to myself, and I have some better ideas about what love and disrespect actually are. All that said, though, I wonder what you mean when you say you "took the red pill." If you really "took it," worrying about disrespecting your loving wife would be about the last thing you'…
/r/askMRP14/04/16 04:34 AM
3

It's great that you feel good about getting your self together - keep going. I think your initial estimate of 18-20 months is reasonable, although no doubt you'll start to see improvements before then. Not knowing your wife at all, I'm guessing it may have been more of a put down - a shit test. Shes noticed that your improving, but she refuses to complement you on it, so instead she finds something negative to say about it. It could also be a meaningless coincidence. Either way it's just noise. …
/r/askMRP14/04/16 12:34 AM
3

I don't get the premise here. Is "like a beta" just a synonym for "bad"? If there's one thing a "beta" supposedly knows how to do, it's squeeze an extra two-tenths of a percent out of an asset portfolio. It's practically a cliche, the treasurer in a room behind the throne, head bowed, spectacles perched on his nose, worrying over the county tax receipts while the king is fighting battles and fucking whores. If you buy the evolutionary purpose behind alphas and betas (which I mostly don't, but wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 11:13 PM
2

I actually agree with the gist of your post - mine must not have been very clear. The idea of having a "vision" for your life (as I understand that word) isn't a very helpful concept for me, more or less for the reasons you give - it's too abstract and dry. On the other hand, I look back at the last ten years or so, and it's clear to me that something was missing. I don't need reminders that life is short and chaos rules and none of it means anything in the big picture. I'm steeped in that way o…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 07:39 PM
3

This. She wants kids and a house. Totally normal things for a woman to want. Sounds like you've made it clear to her that she's not going to get those with you. Instead she can share your frugal lifestyle. I'm not really surprised that she's not happy. That's not your fault, you don't owe her those things. But it does sound like a fundamental incompatibility on major life goals.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 04:48 PM
2

We may be disagreeing over semantics. But using your terminology, having the plan (Babe, we're going to Disneyland!) is more important than having the mission (Babe, we're going to relax and have fun as a family! How? I don't know, what do you think we should do?). Your response is that you can't formulate a meaningful plan until you first have a mission. Maybe so, although that isn't always my experience. But for the specific purpose of MRP, the key thing is to have a specific intention for the…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 01:58 PM
1

I was a GTD junkie for years. I loved and breathed it. In the end, it left me feeling dry and empty (which doesn't mean it's not a great system that works for you). In fact, it was that experience that turned me off of the idea of having a life vision and then organizing my life around it. I could never formulate a vision that really captured my interest, and meanwhile I'd constantly feel new passions that had nothing to do with my supposed vision. The point of my post was the idea that "vision"…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 01:38 PM
3

Not sure this counts as a true victim puke. More like a victim coughing-up-a-little-phlegm. You should take pride in the fact that your wife doesn't thank you for this. Go watch the Jack Nicholson "You need me on that wall" speech from A Few Good Men and then consider whether you really need or want thanks for checking the garage for intruders.
/r/askMRP12/04/16 04:36 AM
2

I don't know, brother. That's maybe the only problem I don't really have with my wife. Even in the worst times, she's always looked to me to set the vision on the very biggest issues in life. Looking back, all of our biggest life adventures have been my ideas. My only suggestion would be to start small. Get her to buy into your vision for what to do next Saturday night. And then make sure it's a win. Repeat and build from there, and maybe she'll learn to trust that you know where you're going an…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/16 04:19 AM
3

This post is well written, but it feels off to me, especially the first few paragraphs. I let myself become weak, but it wasn't because of white knights or the female imperative or any indoctrination that I received in school. I wasn't victimized by any of those things. It was 100% my own fault, because I got lazy.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/16 07:17 PM
2

You won't have leverage as the one who took her back. You only have leverage until you take her back. Then she has it.
/r/askMRP10/04/16 09:31 PM
1

I talk a good game but if you read my post history you'll see that I'm in about the same place as you. Are you running MAP per MMSL? What phase are you at? After a year, maybe it's time to start pushing toward a resolution - Phase 6?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/16 01:31 PM
1

No worries, I think both are true in my case. Compared to pictures, I'm closer to 15%. I'm unsure how much lower to push it since in the long run I obviously need to be gaining mass. My lifts are still going up, but only slowly.
/r/askMRP10/04/16 01:23 PM
1

How reliable is this link? It tells me 9% and "athletic." I'm 5'10", 30" waist, 149 lbs, BP = 130 lbs at 5x5, Squat = 140 at 3x5, OHP = 82 lbs at 5x5, pull-ups = 3x10 (body weight).
/r/askMRP10/04/16 06:25 AM
1

Fuck, this is helpful. You're right on both counts. I do still look to her as the arbiter of my life. You're also right that this is getting better. I was aware that something was improving but you've put it in words for me. I've got this.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/16 01:57 PM
1

Anybody else getting a Lord of the Rings vibe here? Try sending out nine black riders on horseback to hunt her down.
/r/askMRP09/04/16 01:42 PM
1

The reason it's important to realize that she's not attracted to is that it lets you focus on the real solution - you.
/r/askMRP09/04/16 01:35 PM
2

I mostly agree, but with an important qualifier. In my case, at least, im getting a lot more confidence out of lifting than I ever imagined I would. So I'd say you don't always know yourself what qualities will make you feel valuable. One of the great things about this sub is that other guys can point you to things you wouldn't otherwise have thought of. So you see "go lift" enough times from enough people, and you realize maybe you should try it.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/16 01:24 PM
2

Easy for me to say, I know, but if you're overweight then the good news is that you've got a very straightforward direction to move in for improving your life.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/16 05:37 AM
1

Fuck if I know. I'd say keep initiating, but if she's not attracted to you then be prepared with plan B if she shoots you down.
/r/askMRP09/04/16 05:28 AM
1

What does good shape mean? As you say, you can't negotiate desire. It's possible there are other factors at work, but the simplest explanation, and therefore the one you should assume is true until you can rule it, is that she's simply not physically attracted to you. So keep increasing your SMV. I found this question to be highly clarifying: If Brad Pitt wanted to fuck my wife, how would she respond?
/r/askMRP08/04/16 03:38 PM
1

I thought the first two paragraphs of OP's post were brilliant - those are exactly the questions I'd like to have answered. But I've read a lot of Ayn Rand and I have to confess that it never did much for me. I'm ok with maximizing my self-interest. But if there's one thing life has taught me, it's that I have no fucking idea what's in my self-interest. My observation is that most other people don't seem to know either.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 06:33 AM
0

Per Wikipedia, "Rational egoism (also called rational selfishness) is the principle that an action is rational if and only if it maximizes one's self-interest." I don't understand how this offers any answer to the questions you pose. How does "maximize your self interest" tell me what to do next?
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/16 05:46 AM
5

This is fucking brilliant, and you're barely scratching the surface here. You know where else presentation matters? Being alpha instead of beta. Why do I have to wear nice clothes? These keep me just as warm, and anyway the styles will all change next year anyway. Why do I have to lift? It's the person inside that matters. Why do I have to be alpha and not beta? My wife should love me for myself either way. I wasted a lot of years thinking this way. Then I wised up and realized how superficial o…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 04:28 AM
2

I appreciate your comments, and the analogy too, I guess. Like most here, I've lived both ways as well. And to me, the Deadbedroom way is much harder. I felt almost suicidal, only too lazy to do anything about it. I was already planning my retirement two decades in advance, just waiting around to die. Now I feel like a kid again. Regardless of whether my wife ever comes around, I can't wait to tackle the next challenge. I feel blessed to have found this sub and the crusty bastards who live here.…
/r/askMRP07/04/16 03:57 AM
1

Why are you letting her dump stuff on you to finish? If it needs to be done by you, you should do it anyway. If not, you shouldn't do it. Wife's request is irrelevant. Read Extreme Ownership. Key lesson is that if you're in charge (are you?) then you're responsible for everything. Doesn't mean you personally do everything, but the buck stops with you. Any failure is yours. Others are making good suggestions, but it's on you alone to implement them and follow through.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 03:36 AM
1

Commenting on other threads is nice -- I can call people out while literally sitting on my ass. Starting to feel a bit like a fraud, though, because what the fuck do I know? Lifting -- still the bright spot. Still on track six days a week, two hours a day. Lifts going up slowly but steadily. Five months ago I couldn't do a single pull-up. Yesterday I did 3 sets of 9 and went on with my day. I never imagined I could ever do something like that. Squats are keeping me humble, though. Still can't qu…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/16 03:16 AM
1

I understand lamenting years of wasted life, but here's my perspective. Even if I had lived a perfect life with zero regrets to this point, I'd still find myself I exactly the same place that I am now - namely, it's today and I decide what to do today. The past can't take away the present moment, and the past can't improve the present moment. Regardless of how you got here, the present moment is what it is.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/16 07:42 PM
2

Checked your history and see that you're ex-Mormon. I don't think that's going to change any of the advice you'll receive. But actually understanding what's happening in your marriage and how to handle things is going to require the same kind of revolution in your worldview that leaving your religion required. It's not just a matter of picking up a few tips. Read the sidebar stuff and the top posts. If you decide you want to move forward with it, it won't be easy but it will make you a better ma…
/r/askMRP06/04/16 07:24 PM
-3

Careful not to break your arm patting yourself on the back. I don't see anything easy about the deadbedroom path. Misguided maybe.
/r/askMRP06/04/16 03:18 PM
1

Here's mine, which has worked so far. I decide ahead of time when I will lift for the day (usually either first thing in the morning or last thing at night) and then I make it a top priority to meet that commitment, no matter what. If some unavoidable emergency comes up that forces me to miss, then my overriding priority is to make it up the next day, even if I have to workout twice in the same day. The key thing to realize is that the better your excuse for skipping a day, the more important it…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 11:44 PM
2

"I just need to make time" for lifting. So what's the exact plan you're going to follow to make sure it happens?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 06:47 PM
3

Why aren't you lifting?
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 06:42 PM
10

If you need your spouse to support your dream, don't get mad that your spouse has a hard time supporting you.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/16 06:33 PM
2

This shit is going to get a LOT worse when 7 becomes 17. If she picks up a drug habit and mom insists on denial and enabling, it's gonna ruin your family. I've seen it.
/r/askMRP05/04/16 03:37 PM
1

What does 10% drop set mean?
/r/askMRP05/04/16 02:40 AM
2

My experience might be helpful. I'm 5'10", 150lbs. Five months ago, I was classic skinny fat -- no muscles anywhere, and a gut and back fat. Never lifted before in my life. I've been lifting two hours a day, six days a week, for the last five months. I also transformed my diet, cutting out about 1000 calories a day of soda and junk food, and replacing it with 1000 calories of protein and healthier fats. I never cut or bulked, instead eating at exact maintenance, never gaining or losing more than…
/r/askMRP04/04/16 08:10 PM
4

Catching a whiff of bullshit here. "I'm doing a good job except for lifting," but lifting is the first thing on the list . . . And the most important thing . . . And the one thing you can completely control . . . And the only area where there is an objective measure of accountability-either you go to the gym or you don't. Saying your lack of discipline disgusts you is just an elaborate form of validation seeking. Making excuses doesn't move you forward, but saying you have no excuse also doesn't…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/16 07:24 PM
1

Thanks. Means something coming from you. Yes, I think I'm finally figuring out a thing or two.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/16 05:27 AM
1

"If" by Rudyard Kipling. This line: "Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn out tools."
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/16 05:18 AM
4

I know exactly how to fix your problems, but it's too much work to type it all out here. . . .
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/16 10:40 PM
2

Agree
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/16 02:09 AM
5

I like your message of full responsibility. If I'm 100% responsible for how wife treats me, then I'm 100% capable of changing it. Saying it's not my fault is just another way saying that I'm powerless to change it. So I like it. But make no mistake, this is an incredibly high personal standard to meet. It's hard enough just to improve yourself. But to improve yourself so much that you cause another person to improve, possibly against their will, that is a true accomplishment. The word for what y…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/16 12:53 AM
1

Wife did this to me all the time. Responding only fuels it. Just 100% ignore it and she'll quit.
/r/askMRP02/04/16 03:38 PM
24

Someone should start a subreddit devoted to this question . . .
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/16 02:51 PM
3

If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/16 04:42 AM
1

I agree with the key point you quote here. You have to see reality, not your hopes or your fears, but just what is.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 11:38 PM
1

No, I get your point. I even agree with it in a sense. But You are right that I'm coming at it from my own unique experiences. And to me, "assume all women are awesome" isn't a recipe for success. I'm getting a lot more mileage right now training myself to realize that a lot of women are not awesome.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 09:12 PM
4

No. As a statement of universal truth, this may be correct. I happen to think that women have a much more important, and much more difficult biological "assignment" than men do. They're thrown into the world weak and alone and have to somehow secure the resources to raise the next generation and ensure the continuation of the species. I'm not surprised that they do what they have to do - I even applaud it in a way. But "assume women are awesome" is terrible advice in the context of this sub. A l…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 06:23 PM
1

Agree, do what works for you. But just to offer a different perspective, I switched from 3 per week to 6 per week (pplx2) and DOMS has completely disappeared for me. Going almost everyday can be very motivating.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/16 05:00 AM
5

Mi taquito del mal
/r/askMRP01/04/16 02:59 AM
1

Stage 13 dread. WTF, did you even read the sidebar?
/r/askMRP31/03/16 05:18 AM
1

I'm still working on my own vision but here's one thing I'm thinking about that seems to be helping: If you don't have the big picture yet, it's ok to start small and work outwards from there. I may not know what I want to do when I grow up, but I know lifting will be part of it. And I think building positive connections with people will be part of it. So I'm thinking hard about how to make my vision of those pieces as concrete and real to me as possible. What does it look like? How does it feel…
/r/askMRP31/03/16 04:53 AM
10

You mention building frame. I've been thinking of making a separate post on this, but for now I'll just plant some thoughts here. I think new people, myself included, get the wrong idea about building and maintaining frame. A lot of the reading makes it sound like a mental trick, something you get by thinking the right thoughts or thinking or feeling the right way. The idea of passing shit tests plays into this as well, because the reading makes it sound like that's also about some mental trick,…
/r/askMRP30/03/16 06:12 AM
5

I've lived a sheltered life I guess, but everything about this sounds horrifying and bizarre to me. I would get out now. I think you must have known you'd get this advice here. If your looking for permission to leave her, then you already have your answer. EDIT: Someone's already upvoted me, so I'll leave it, but I'm feeling bad about "horrifying and bizarre." No doubt some stuff in my past might be horrifying and bizarre to some people, too. Offering honest feedback, but I don't mean to judge.
/r/askMRP30/03/16 01:59 AM
3

If I'm your good friend, I want you to tell me. How is this a question? Is there anyone here who would not want to know this?
/r/askMRP30/03/16 01:39 AM
1

The first couple months of lifting, it was all about my wife for me. I didn't want it to be, and tried to convince myself it wasn't, but the truth is I was thinking of her the whole time. Eventually that went away (mostly) and I can honestly say now that I do it for myself.
/r/askMRP29/03/16 03:26 PM
4

The irony is that the troll actually generated some really good content from Jack that fills an important gap here.
/r/askMRP28/03/16 10:00 PM
2

That's literally what the book is about, as in: When I say no, I feel guilty, which causes me to DEER, so here are some tools that I can use to enforce boundaries without DEERing. If you're looking for practical advice for not DEERing in the heat of the moment, here's a quick guide: Step 1. STFU Step 2. If you have to ask what step 2 is, go back to step 1.
/r/askMRP28/03/16 09:44 PM
4

WISNIFG.
/r/askMRP28/03/16 07:10 PM
5

Just realized I tie my shoes blue pill. No wonder I never got laid in preschool.
/r/askMRP27/03/16 02:25 PM
3

It's very simple. If you complain and act weak when you're sick, your wife will assume you're exaggerating. If you suck it up and act like you're trying to push through it without help or sympathy, your wife will assume you're sick but are man enough to hide it. Those are your options.
/r/askMRP27/03/16 04:03 AM
2

I don't understand the difference between high value and alpha as you're using the terms. If you mean the Dos Equis guy, I'm pretty sure he was designed by marketing to be a standard alpha guy who's reached middle age.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/03/16 02:30 PM
1

Well, take it with a grain of salt. i just thought of this like five minutes ago. I do think I'm on to something, though.
/r/askMRP26/03/16 04:22 AM
5

I was thinking that she's weaponizing sex in a very literal way - it's literally a punishment. But I think maybe I like your way of thinking about it better. It's all bullshit anyway, just keep moving ahead.
/r/askMRP26/03/16 01:04 AM
1

Logistics or gaming. I'd argue it's just a special case of a more general rule, which is that you should think long and hard about any communication at all that isn't logistics or gaming.
/r/askMRP25/03/16 09:49 PM
6

The "extending your sentence" comment would be a hard thing to forget. Wow.
/r/askMRP25/03/16 07:43 PM
2

I'm not surprised it's devolved this way, as it was a misguided thread to begin with. Whining about the institution of marriage as it actually exists in reality is just anger stage and victim puke in group form. As others have taught me, the only important question is, what are you going to do about it?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/16 07:37 PM
2

Awesome post.
/r/askMRP25/03/16 02:40 PM
16

What the fuck is going on around here? Dreaming about the world you wish existed is just wasted time. It is what it is. All you can do is wade into the battle, a happy warrier, and start swinging.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/16 05:15 AM
2

Not sure if this will help you, but what helps me is to really, fully realize that wife acted (sometimes still acts) that way because she's truly not attracted to me. As Clint Eastwood would say, deserve's got nothing to do with it. If she's not attracted to you, then what else is there to say?
/r/askMRP23/03/16 05:31 PM
1

It'll be a while before I have that problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/16 02:07 AM
2

Well, it's all relative. According to startingstrength.com, those numbers in pounds, assuming they are 5 rep maxes, would put you stronger than most gym regulars.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/16 01:47 AM
4

Before I met my wife I had no furniture and slept on the floor, which was fine with me. Now I sleep on whatever bed my wife wants to have, which is also fine with me. I could care less what goes where.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/16 06:40 PM
1

Speaking for myself, my faith in romantic love has taken quite a beating the last few months. I no longer find it to be a very helpful way of thinking about my relationship. And this is so obvious that it's almost hard to even notice, but when anybody asks for advice around here, nobody ever, ever, ever asks, "But do you love her?" I think that's pretty telling.
/r/askMRP22/03/16 03:35 AM
1

Seconded. A tip that helped me: Don't decide each day whether or not to lift, because eventually you'll decide not to. Instead, think now about every possible reason not to lift, every little obstacle that might come up, every scenario where you might skip a day, and then make the decision now that your going to lift even if those reasons or obstacles or scenarios come up. Once you've done that, then YOUVE ALREADY DECIDED. Don't revisit the decision, you've already decided. It doesn't matter wha…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/16 07:55 PM
1

What's the reason for staying in this relationship? It sounds like a horror show.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/16 06:37 PM
5

You're getting some tough comments (appropriately so) so I'll go easier since I had the exact same epiphany not so long ago. First, your realization is accurate - your the only one showing affection, you're doing it because you're needy, she perceives it that way as well, and she's not reciprocating because she's not attracted to you. These are pretty common realizations around here, but if it's new to you then it's an important one for you. You probably used to blame your wife for this, thinkin…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/16 06:20 PM
1

"We had anal sex (and I mean stuff that included her sisters). . ." What?
/r/askMRP21/03/16 06:00 PM
5

Why not start lifting today?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/03/16 10:34 PM
3

What you did is pretty much what I would have done. That might be bad news, though, cause I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
/r/askMRP20/03/16 05:06 PM
1

Given the central importance of SMV to MRP and this subs devotion to exposing the delusions of guys who post here, I've always wondered why nobody ever seems to post pics of themselves. Or if that's too personal, at least height/weight/lifts/bf etc. I guess a lot of advice is universal, but whenever I read posts asking for advice, I can't help but think the advice I would give might be very different depending on whether he looks like Brad Pitt or more like Danny DeVito.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/16 03:25 PM
1

True. You know who else? Taylor Swift. My daughters play her constantly, and damn if she isn't flat out telling guys exactly what what they're in for. "Boys only want love if it's torture. Don't say I didn't, say I didn't warn you."
/r/askMRP19/03/16 02:48 PM
1

She helps me, I help her. That's pretty much the definition of a covert contract.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/16 12:56 AM
3

Others have already covered the more important stuff, but just for the sake of completeness, picking up the kids today to reward her for good behavior would be fucked up even if she weren't cheating on you. Why don't you just leave a $20 on the dresser and be done with it?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/16 08:54 PM
4

Maybe not a "win," but at least a step on the road. The first time I saw for myself that my wife reacted positively to a show of strength was a transformative experience for me. Made me realize that I really didn't know her at all, and opened my eyes to some new possibilities.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/03/16 06:06 AM
4

I have a theory that the original blue pill songs back in the 50s were written by red pillers who intended them to be used to bullshit women into bed. Unfortunately, they somehow forgot to tell the next generation of guys that nothing in those songs was meant to be taken seriously, the sensitive 70s were born, and the rest is history.
/r/askMRP18/03/16 05:48 AM
3

I would say it's sarcasm if it seems like your trying to score points in an argument. It's amused mastery if it seems like you're side stepping the argument because it's so fucking stupid that it's not worth a serious response.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 07:43 PM
5

I like this post because it's helping me clarify to myself just exactly what a shit test is. A shit test isn't "whenever I think my wife is being a bitch" or similar. It's true that some shit tests can be delivered in a bitchy way, but it's also possible for a shit test to come disguised in a warm and loving wrapper. "Honey, I love you soooo much. Can you please bring me a glass of water?" I think the central idea of a shit test is that it's an attempt to test your frame, in other words to probe…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 04:19 PM
1

Agreed. To me, it's a way of keeping my anger in check. And thinking of how all us confused, fucked up humans must look from God's perspective helps me lighten up and laugh at myself a bit.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 04:04 PM
1

Can you say more about meetup? I'm looking for ways to build some new masculine friendships, but not sure if that's what you mean.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 03:51 PM
3

That's oddly . . . specific. I might have to read that book after all.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 01:33 AM
1

For fuck's sake, I came here to get more blow jobs, and now I'm supposed to formulate a vision for my life?!? All true. I basically wandered aimlessly into an Ivy League professional grad school and then wandered aimlessly into the sort of prestige job that for most people would represent the pinnacle of their career. It's kind of fucked up, but what looks from the outside like ambitious, driven success was actually the path of least resistance for me. I can see now as well that I entered my mar…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 01:21 AM
1

Sometimes her walking away pouty is the successful outcome. Sometimes not. Most times it's probably irrelevant. But pleasing your wife is never, in itself, the mark of your success. Example: My daughter wants ice cream before dinner. I tell her no. She walks away pouty. Well done, Dad! "So if I handled it correctly, why did she walk away all pouty?" Stupid question, right? Not sure how to make it any clearer.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 12:42 AM
1

After being thrown last week by my belated realization that wife doesn't love me and likely hasn't for a long time, I've accepted it as the current reality and am moving ahead with my MAP. I like MMAP's use of Red, Yellow, Green items. I'm still working on stopping the Reds, so I'll use that to organize my post. Lifting. Still on course, two hours a day, six days a week. Progress is slow but steady. After almost five months, wife has still not said a single positive thing about this change (and …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 11:36 PM
1

Whether she walks away pouty or not has nothing to do with whether you handled it correctly.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 08:51 PM
2

I wouldn't say this is absolute truth - as in, if God exists, I don't think he would agree with this description of women. But I do agree that it is true in a practical sense from the perspective of men. For anyone perhaps lurking here who thinks this description is unduly harsh, I would add that men - from the perspective of a woman - are not necessarily any better. The female version of this would be something like: "If you're young and attractive, then men fall all over you with attention and…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/16 08:21 PM
2

No offense, but something seems a little off here. What's your basis for thinking your SMV is about par with your wife's? After 10 years of being a fat, lazy fuck, your standards may a bit off. Sounds like your still trying to lose weight. How often do you lift? I would guess after two years you should be pretty muscular, but it depends on where you started and your consistency. Knowing almost nothing about your wife, it seems odd for her to openly admit that she has severe emotional wounds, etc…
/r/askMRP14/03/16 06:46 PM
1

Thanks. Yes, I'd say your description is pretty much exactly spot on. Your advice sounds right to me as well.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/16 05:15 AM
2

Mindfulness meditation is the ultimate, foundational practice for maintaining frame. Keeping frame in the face of a shit test, keeping frame in the face of fear, in the face of pain or exhaustion or boredom or hunger or weakness or despair . . . Three thousand years ago, the ancients figured out that it all boils down to a single skill: notice a distraction, then set it aside and return to what you were doing. And the most basic practice to build that skill is to watch your breath, notice a dist…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/16 03:09 AM
4

So you don't lift at all? You need to show leadership by example. "But I don't need to lose weight," you say. I don't have to stay late at work when an emergency comes up that my underlings should handle. But I do anyway, because I'm the boss and I set the example.
/r/askMRP14/03/16 02:23 AM
1

Good insight. Being a leader doesn't mean asking someone to let you lead or even forcing them to let you lead. You just lead, starting with leading yourself. If you lead well, people will follow. Or not, but either way, all you can do is lead.
/r/askMRP14/03/16 02:15 AM
26

Are you seriously acting butthurt to your wife because she didn't tell you about being gang raped as a child? She didn't tell you because she didn't trust you with that knowledge, and your confirming her judgment. She's fighting a battle that you can't possibly understand. That doesn't mean you're concerns aren't valid. But pestering her about this event is going to make her despise you.
/r/askMRP14/03/16 02:08 AM
1

Totally agree.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 09:13 PM
3

Not trying to freak you out, but when she says it's ok for you to find sex elsewhere, I read that as her rationalizing that it's ok for her to do it too. I'd also say that if your wife tells you that she isn't in love with you and isnt really attracted to you - as in, your not just guessing but she openly says this to your face - and then you agree to stick around anyway, she's bound to respect you less. I'm not saying that means you shouldn't stick around, but I'd prepare yourself for the possi…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 07:05 PM
1

Another book suggestion: From Shy to Social, by Christopher Gray. I know the title is a complete turn-off, but it's not as lame as it sounds. Written from the male perspective, it starts with completely remedial stuff and builds step by step all the way up to PUA concepts like approaching women in bars, working with a wingman, developing game, etc. Not quite red pill, but at least red pill-lite. Not everything will be applicable to you if you're already in a LTR, but I suspect there's a lot you'…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 04:45 PM
5

Three quick suggestions: Learn to just blurt out whatever comes to mind. Stop overthinking everything. Small talk isn't about the talk. It's about the talking. Talk about the immediate environment, not personal histories. In an elevator? Talk about the elevator. Standing in line? Talk about the line. Assume rapport. That is, talk to people as if you were already close friends. See how that fits with 1 and 2? Close friends mostly talk about trivial shit in their environment, not life stories, and…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 03:47 PM
3

You didn't set her alarm? WTF? What kind of petty bullshit is that?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 01:05 AM
1

Since you and il-est were kind enough to respond, I'll give a little closure on this sad episode. I ended up walking the neighborhood half the night, then emailed her today that this shit isn't acceptable. Kept it short and not emotional, as if she had blown two hundred bucks at the track or something. She apologized. I'm moving on as if I've already forgotten the whole thing.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/16 10:42 PM
1

I know. She's basically red pilling me. Refusing to discuss it is a blunt form of A&A, and I'm hamstering away like a woman. Enough with the bullshit. I have no idea what love is, but whatever it is, I'm taking a vacation from it. I'm better than this.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/16 06:15 PM
1

My marriage is on a razor's edge. Wife's brother died a few weeks ago. She was out of state to deal with it, just got back a few days ago. I've lamented elsewhere that my wife doesn't love me, but I keep repeating it because I can't deny it, and yet somehow I just can't believe it. It's a thousand times worse than being turned down for sex. We've been married fourteen years. We have children together. My wife does not love me. Last night I brought home my wife dinner. Dropped it in the kitchen a…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/16 04:54 AM
1

Actually, I'm feeling a little bitter today. Every time I think I'm past the anger stage, I discover a whole new layer of (self)deception that didn't occur to me until just now and get pissed again. It occurred to me that I'm going to repay all the pain she's caused me by . . . trying to become the best husband I can be (yes, I know I'm doing it for me . . .).
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/16 02:56 AM
8

Yeah, no. She's not dumping over "financial opportunism" or "rigid ideas about money." She's dumping him because he's a pathetic loser. Mom and Dad can take care of him. That's not her job. And he's most definitely not going to be alright without her - not unless he changes completely. He's more likely to end up a permanent bachelor who lives with his parents the rest of his life. She, on the other hand, sounds to me like a quality woman.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/16 07:14 PM
4

She's not crying out from the separation, you are. You dont want to share it wth her to get her on board, you want to share it so that she will pat you on the head and say that she approves. In my opinion, you've already said way too much. If she's unhappy with your changes, that's her problem, not yours. You don't owe her any explanation at all. One of the most valuable lessons you can learn starting out is that you don't have to include your wife in everything. By definition, you cannot includ…
/r/askMRP09/03/16 07:01 PM
7

WTF? The guy is shit with money (too irresponsible to pay his bills, and wants to stay in a small apartment forever), she calls him out on his weak bullshit, and he attempts suicide (!) and then moves in with his mom and dad (!!). The only mystery is why she hasn't dumped this loser already. I've got no problem with anything she's done here.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/16 03:41 PM
21

I read this and can't help wondering if this is how my wife thinks about sex: It's good, but the power that comes from not giving it is even better.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 03:25 PM
1

She's sorry that she hurt your feelings. It might make you feel better to hear her say that explicitly. But it won't solve your problem. Feeling sorry for someone is the opposite of being attracted to them.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 02:03 PM
1

Not greeting her at the door is fine. Good first step. Two problems with the line "Bring that sweet ass over here and say to Papa": It's creepy. It sets you up for "failure" if she doesn't comply, because there's no Plan B. She walks out and you either sit there or chase after her. It's almost like you gave her a shit test ("Comply with my request to walk over to me") and she passed it by leaving. Smacking her on the ass as you walk by is better.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/16 12:51 AM
8

Yeah, that's pretty spot on. I'll never forget the moment I realized the problem was with me, not her: wife was standing by the sink, looking hot, and the kids and I were all happy that she was home, and we all wanted her attention. I let them go first with their "look at me mommy" moments and watched patiently. Finally they finished with her and I moved in, put my hand on her ass, and she said, not in anger but almost a kind of sad resignation that is burned into my memory, "why does everyone w…
/r/askMRP06/03/16 03:18 PM
10

Do you have any credible source for your statement that colon cleanses have any health value at all? A quick search of reputable medical sources confirms its a waste of time at best. My tip for losing your gut is to quit eating ice cream and chips. It ain't rocket science.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/03/16 06:06 PM
2

It comes at the issue from a completely different direction, but this is the essence of Zen Buddhism. Makes sense. Think about the problem of happiness and suffering deeply enough, and you eventually conclude that the thinking itself is the problem. Truth is truth.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/16 03:48 PM
12

Should have ignored it completely. You and your BIL discussed it afterwards, but how do you suppose a similar conversation would have gone between your wife and SIL? Wife: I'm so proud to have a husband who is strong and confident enough to complain when he hears another woman talking about how fucking hot Hugh Jackman looked in those jeans! SIL: I know, right? I wish my husband was more like that!" I'm not seeing it. It's more likely they'll be saying (or thinking) that you seem a little insecu…
/r/askMRP03/03/16 03:35 PM
1

Ok. If you were 240 pounds this would be a completely different problem. Sounds like you know what you're doing.
/r/askMRP02/03/16 05:03 PM
2

I mean that when you assert a boundary over something as extreme as no getting locked out of your own house, there's no ambiguity over whether you're just being pushy, or an asshole, etc. You are obviously right to assert that boundary and you know it and she knows it. That means it's a battle you cannot possibly lose unless you just give up. In contrast, drawing a boundary over whether you should wait 15 seconds for her to calm down is more ambiguous. It's not crystal clear what the answer is, …
/r/askMRP02/03/16 04:54 PM
3

I think farting (or shitting with door open, or not showering, or otherwise letting herself go) is a shit test. She's testing whether she's got you so wrapped that you'll put up with her not even trying to be attractive.
/r/askMRP02/03/16 04:02 PM
1

I understand you're getting your bearings, but lifting is job number one. It shouldn't be on a list, it should be your first priority the first free moment you get. For every minute you spend here, you should spend ten minutes at r/fitness reading and learning. What's your height/weight? Are you in shape?
/r/askMRP02/03/16 03:42 PM
3

Your marriage sounds similar to mine. If you check my post history, you'll see one about wife telling me to shut up in front of kids, which is similar to getting locked out in terms of extreme disrespect. I drew a firm line (read for details) and have been pleasantly surprised at how big the difference has been. One advantage of things having gone this far is that when you finally push back, your moral position is unassailable. You can argue over sex or who balances the checkbook, but there is n…
/r/askMRP02/03/16 03:34 PM
2

Are you asking if you should have the kid, or are you saying you've already decided not to and you're asking how to implement dread in light of that decision?
/r/askMRP02/03/16 05:51 AM
2

Wife has been away the entire week for legit family emergency. Kind of nice, to be honest. Easier to focus on myself. Lifting. Still going strong, 2 hours a day, 6 days a week. Ran 8 miles on Saturday and was too wiped to lift, but made a special point of doing two full lifting sessions on Sunday to make it up. Come hell or high water, this is staying locked in with zero compromise. Diet. Another week tracking calories and macros, and I've started to use the data to make some adjustments by cutt…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 06:42 PM
3

Lifted once this week, and only twice last week. Might want to move that up to Shit You Don't Own Yet. Top of the list, too. It's more important that anything else on that list.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/16 03:31 PM
4

Read it again . . .
/r/MarriedRedPill29/02/16 05:31 AM
2

A lot to learn, no doubt. I've seen enough of this shit work in my own life to know to keep an open mind. But how is my comment any different than this statement from BPP himself, taken straight from the dread post in the sidebar: "Let me just remind you guys that you made vows. You made some promises. Men keep their promises. It is up to you to decide how much you can take of HER broken promises, but don't forget the promises that you made as you journey along the Dread." Others are free to dis…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 10:14 PM
1

I understood the story to be cheating without telling the wife, but maybe I didn't read close enough. If it's "cheating" openly, then I'd say wife is an adult and can make her own decisions.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 09:31 PM
1

Red pill is about improving yourself as a man, and to me these are the actions of a child. But you're right that everybody gets to - and has to - live their own lives. All any of us can do is give an honest reaction and then let others draw their own conclusions. It's a valuable post for me if only because it helps crystallize my own code a bit more.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/16 08:33 PM
9

I'm new, but I must have missed the part where "actually cheating" on the mother of 5 of your 8 children is part of Dread game for a married man. If you're done with her, then next her like a man.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/16 05:57 PM
1

Second this.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 09:26 PM
5

My question is, why would she respect whatever boundary you put up? She's already refusing you sex, which means either she knows you won't leave or she doesn't care. What are you offering her?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/16 09:24 PM
2

Don't mean to rain on the parade, but OP says he trained the dogs. That's why they look to him.
/r/askMRP24/02/16 03:49 PM
1

Thanks for the post. My wife handles the finances as well, and I'm also planning to take that back. She does a decent job, but it's also created a lot of resentment in me over the years. Feels like I earn the money and it goes straight into an account that she manages. I realize now that I made the decision to let this happen, and I could have taken action to stop it at any time but chose not to, so my resentment is complete bullshit. I'm expecting a big fight on this one, though, and have decid…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 09:53 PM
3

40+ years old, married 12 years, kids. Started MRP about two months ago. This is my first OYS post. I'll start with what's working. Lifting. I actually started lifting two months before finding MRP, so I'm four months in. I'm 5'10, 150 pounds, and was extremely weak and skinny fat after 20 years working at a desk. I started with SS but switched to PPL after two months. Six days a week, two hours a day, and I haven't missed a single day other than a week that I lost with the flu. Hurt my back for…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/16 07:59 PM
4

You don't need me to rub salt in your wounds, but why not? What bugs me most about your wife's behavior is that she's telling your friends that you really want to eat meat, but she doesn't allow you to, all right there in front of you. She's literally displaying your balls in a jar to your friends.
/r/askMRP22/02/16 09:26 PM
3

Well, at least for this example, why not just flat out tell her you want to have sex? "Yeah what am I supposed to do?" sort of sounds like she's telling you she might be interested. Pretty easy to mix signals with texting.
/r/askMRP21/02/16 04:59 AM
2

It's amazing what anger can do. To take a trivial example, I've been "trying" to quit junk food for the last decade, and failing. Then I find MRP and I throw it off literally in one day, because I suddenly realize that it's part of the system of bullshit that's been tying me down my whole life. Am I angry at junk food? Damn right I am. Just looking at it disgusts me.
/r/askMRP20/02/16 01:49 PM
9

You want to talk it all out with your wife. Share the experience. I see myself in that. But it's really not gonna work. She doesn't want to hear all this. She just wants things fixed. The whole point of being a strong man is that you fix shit without her having to think about it or know about it. It's like the Apple slogan: "It just works." She wants a man and a life that "just works." She doesn't want to know the details, that just ruins the effect. Think of it this way. You want a hot wife. If…
/r/askMRP19/02/16 09:52 PM
1

We fuck 2-5 times per day now, and at least 1 is always anal. Keep that shit to yourself, man.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/16 02:05 AM
1

Agree. If your woman can handle money, let her. It's enough to make sure you've signed off on all the decisions. I run a business and make the decisions but that doesn't mean I personally balance the books.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/16 01:26 AM
1

Thanks - this is spot on. And it doesn't really matter what the truth is. Whether she loves me or not, my next steps are the same either way. Lift. Improve.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 04:44 PM
1

She literally never says it except in very rare cases in which I have more or less forced her to. That was weak and counterproductive and I've obviously cut that out completely. Meaningful to me would be a spontaneous display of joyful affection. The actual words themselves don't even matter. That hasn't happened for more than ten years, even though we are friendly enough. I guess it's dawning on me that things are worse than I realized.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 04:42 PM
1

This is too weak for its own thread, but maybe someone can offer some insight. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the reality of my marriage. My wife hasn't said I love you to me in a meaningful way in the ten years. Is that pretty normal, or is that a really bad sign?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/16 04:32 AM
2

To me, this reads like you really aren't thinking that leaving her is a possibility. In other words, you're bluffing. If I see it, I'm guessing she does too. Dread isn't dreadful if it's a transparent bluff.
/r/askMRP17/02/16 04:34 PM
1

What dread level would you say you're at?
/r/askMRP17/02/16 04:12 PM
2

If every second post here was a reminder to stop fucking around and start/keep lifting, I'd say you could do a lot worse.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/02/16 12:11 AM
2

I lost a week to the flu. Sucked, but it also really opened my eyes, as I could watch in real time as my wife started losing respect for me. Not consciously, necessarily, as she could see that I was really sick. But unconsciously I could see I lost a lot of ground with her. Not blaming her - she'd probably lose ground with me too if she got sick and say, gained thirty pounds. Just human nature. Taught me a lot, though.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 08:28 PM
3

I'm grateful that I'm awake. Now that I'm over the shock, I'm even grateful to my wife for waking me up (though I still wish she'd just straight up called me a pussy instead of wasting time making life hell for both of us for so long - but that's life). And I'm happy to live in a society where the mere fact that you're awake already puts you in the top half or less of all men.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 08:20 PM
1

I'm 45 - this is just the inspiration I need. Did you do anything different due to age? Notice anything different? Or would you say all the same rules apply regardless of age?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/16 08:10 PM
1

Can you give an example of a shit test that you laugh at? If I understand things (and actually I don't), if your wife shit tests you and you pass it, the result shouldn't be a pouting wife for a whole day, should it? Maybe at first, but eventually the response should be a bit more positive. Or am I wrong?
/r/askMRP16/02/16 03:17 AM
1

This. Some things are hard, but this is an easy win. From now on, you always have a suggestion for what to do. If you don't care, then just pick something. Doesn't mean you can't change plans if wife disagrees. But you always put something out there.
/r/askMRP14/02/16 02:43 PM
2

Me too. A couple hours there and I was ready to slit my wrists. Then a negative comment about MRP and I was ready to take a look.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/16 05:32 AM
28

Is this post for real? Do you realize how far over the edge you have to be to think that "Believe In Love" is a dangerous message, or that children dancing to cotton candy pop music is a subversive political message? And how are they "immigrant" children? And who fucking cares anyway? I don't see anything in your post that has any bearing on MRP.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/16 04:43 AM
6

Holy Christ, you killed him?
/r/MarriedRedPill07/02/16 03:01 AM
3

It also captures some of the anger and pain of swallowing MRP. I didn't really enjoy being single. I foolishly believed getting married would instantly solve my problems ("Finally someone who will love me unconditionally in spite of my problems"). MRP means giving up that fantasy and accepting that fact and getting back to work on those problems that never went away.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/16 04:04 PM
2

This. Just a few weeks for me as well, but nagging is way down, simple respect is way up. Her mood is actually worse than before, but instead of taking it out on me, I'm finding more that she directs it elsewhere and then looks to me to stabilize her. It's sinking in that what she wants is not someone to solve her issue, but ALSO not someone to empathize. What she wants is just someone to ignore her moods and just be a rock. This frankly blows my mind.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 05:47 AM
2

I'm no expert but one thing I understand is that sex cannot be negotiated. The only thing you can do is change the choice that your wife sees. There's onlytwo basic ways to do this: Make yourself more attractive (in lots of different ways) Make sure your wife understands the consequences of choosing no. If you've exhausted those options then you have a choice to make.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 02:17 AM
1

Dude, the truth is literally staring you right in the face and you refuse to see it. You cannot win an argument with your wife. You yourself are insisting on exactly this truth. Especially where, as is painfully true here, your wife is a lot smarter than you are. Consider: What if there was no possible way for you to win an argument with your wife? Is that the end of the story? Or is there another path?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/16 01:04 AM
4

It's impossible to answer your question because you haven't actually stated what your problem is. Obviously the way to say no is to just say no. But you already know this. What you're really asking is how to deal with whatever unpleasant thing makes you afraid to say no. But you never told us what that unpleasant thing is for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/16 06:51 AM
14

I'm new, so asking for my own information, but if she's giving you sex and tries to tell you what she wants you to do differently so that she enjoys it more, why is that a shit test?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/16 11:54 PM
1

Yeah, my post wasn't worded well. No issue with your fathering. Agree kids don't really care and no problem with the example you set. I'm saying your wife's request seems reasonable. Dealing with three kids alone is a lot. But depends on context so you have to judge.
/r/askMRP28/01/16 04:22 AM
0

You have three little kids, including one at 9 months, and you expect to be able to disappear every weekend for half of the year? Your wife's request seems more than reasonable. Seems to me that you are abdicating your responsibilities as leader of the family.
/r/askMRP27/01/16 06:54 PM
1

These responses remind me of the scene in Fight Club where the new recruit is forced to spend three days on the porch receiving nothing but abuse to gauge the strength of his commitment.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 03:59 AM
1

Were these responses shit tests? If they were, how'd you do?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/16 03:57 AM
3

I can relate completely and used to feel the same way. Here's what finally opened my eyes: I realized one day that the guys (strangers, not friends) that I instinctively identified as "winners" we're all well dressed. I'm not saying I thought "There's a well dressed man." To the contrary, the whole process was invisible to my conscious self, and I always chalked it up to something else - he's confident, or athletic, or whatever. Until one day I realized that I never tagged a slob as a "winner" -…
/r/askMRP26/01/16 03:42 AM
1

This is hard to read. I would throw everything I had in me into stronglifts and defer the rest. Literally every waking moment I'm thinking only about making sure lifting is on track.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/16 06:20 AM
6

I don't see the manipulation here. She asked you to turn down the music and gave a pretty good reason. Waking a sleeping baby is a major pain in the ass for whoever has to deal with it. And realize that the kids will always come first with her. That's forty million years of biology at work. Sucks to be a man, and nobody's gonna thank you for it. Deal with it anyway. She didn't say please? Ok, I guess so. But that seems like a small place to take a stand.
/r/askMRP21/01/16 05:13 AM
2

Read this once before and it meant nothing, but now it's a revelation. I have a weak frame. And it's got nothing to do with my wife. I'm like this with everyone, and pretty much always have been. I don't have a fucking clue what the purpose of my life is. I don't even believe life has a purpose. So yes, if someone around me thinks they have a clue, I'm willing to go with it even if I think it's bullshit. Because I sort of think it's all bullshit anyway, so why not? I've always been able to get a…
/r/askMRP20/01/16 02:32 AM
2

I think I understand your example. But to me, taking out the trash is something I should have done, which confuses it a bit. I'd be embarrassed to ever see my wife struggling with the garbage, not because she told me, but because it's just my job. Rather than crack a beer, I might say "Thanks for reminding me that I meant to take care of that. I'll get to it in a bit."
/r/askMRP20/01/16 01:55 AM
1

Surprisingly, yes.
/r/askMRP20/01/16 01:48 AM
2

This, I understand. If she criticizes me, then any response on the substance - apologize, defend myself, attack her, etc. - is already entering her frame because it assumes and accepts that she has standing to judge me. Staying in frame means a response that treats that assumption as mindless noise that's not even worth refuting. So amused detachment, make it a joke, just ignore it, and so on.
/r/askMRP20/01/16 01:47 AM
1

I understand your point, but the problem I see is that maintaining frame in your example depends on wife's conduct. I would think keeping frame should be completely under my control no matter what anyone else does. No?
/r/askMRP20/01/16 01:40 AM
2

Thanks, this rings true to me. Christ it hurts, though.
/r/askMRP15/01/16 04:19 AM
2

For her part, she just goes back to watching TV or whatever and doesn't give me a second thought. It'd be easier in a lot of ways if she'd give some shit about it or something. At least I'd feel like there was some acknowledgement of my situation. But she acts as if she just turned down a request for a glass of water. Which is why I feel like if I don't somehow make a wave, it's like agreeing that it's totally normal and acceptable not to have sex.
/r/askMRP15/01/16 04:16 AM
12

I'm just a few weeks ahead of you. You've just realized that you've been getting your ass kicked in a battle you didn't even know was being fought. Even worse, it's dawning on you that everyone else could see all along what you see now in yourself - like suddenly discovering that you've smelled like shit your whole life but no one told you. It's gonna be a whole new world of self-contempt for a while. My suggestion - start living at the gym.
/r/askMRP12/01/16 09:22 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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