Is this a test? Still figuring this out

redearththeory · 2016-09-19T09:49:31+00:00

I make a suggestion that she didnt like. In her response she called me a "fucking idiot".

There's probably a few different things happening here. A womans biggest biological risk is having kids with an unreliable man. She's had 3 kids with a beta man who has just started refusing to follow her instructions. This is going to make her very insecure and shes going to try to regain control. I would focus on family leadership before you focus on alpha independence. Also, with three kids she will feel extremely drained. Any beta demand for attention is going to get an extremely hostile reaction. What was your suggestion OP?

All of this is likely to get a lot worse before it gets better.

Alpha_Rising · 2016-09-19T02:58:11+00:00

It was good of you to draw the line at her disrespecting you, but you did it in a bitch way by saying "if you want to continue watching this show, you'll have to do it in the other room.". That was weak and she showed you how impotent an attempt at manipulating her it was by simply going in the other room.

It was a good idea to leave the house. Just don't come home shitfaced and acting like a belligerent asshole.

BTW, are you hiding something in not telling us what your "suggestion" was that set her off in the first place?

Also, if she has a new baby, remember her hormones are fucked, she's a human cow chained to a needy infant, and she probably isn't getting nearly enough sleep. So although she may be a bitch, there are mitigating circumstances that should temper how personally you take her bitchiness, and your level of anger at her for being a bitch.

stonewall1979 · 2016-09-19T16:22:07+00:00

I'd like to point out that OP said she is six weeks out from a pregnancy and her hormones are still trying to equalize and may be dealing with post-partum depression.

That's going to affect how you should handle her. I'm not saying don't do anything, but STFU, AA, AM, and Fogging will be your friends more than leaving. U/Bluepillprofessor may have better advice on this and how to properly use dread with a post-partum wife.

UEMcGill · 2016-09-19T12:49:31+00:00

I'm going to make a few suggestions based on what others have asked. Let's assume for the sake of this discussion that you didn't say something offensive to her, and she did say something completely offensive to you.

You should always operate from the space that you are the prize. So when she said to you, "Fucking idiot" the easiest response would have been to simply leave. This would get her hamster spinning and put her in a position to defend herself.

"Fucking idiot"

Hero walks away.

"where are you going?!?"

"yeah you need time by yourself"

See the difference? You gave her a choice. Behave and stay. I didn't give her a choice. Poor behavior isolates you from me.

Now let's talk about how you acted like a big homo after the fact.

Ive initiated to her (not sexually, just kino/hugs)

Oh man. Women generally communicate covertly and they look to establish social cohesion. So let's look at this solely from action not words. She says something nasty to you, you say something nasty back, she storms away, you try to reestablish emotional intimacy by being smoochy and lovey. That paints a different picture doesn't it?

Finally this:

do you want to talk about what the problem is" and she said NO.

Here, you give her a choice and she said "no." You can't fault her for that. You should have went straight into your boundary.

"What you did was unacceptable. I will not tolerate being around you if you talk to me like that. If you feel you need to talk like that, let me know, as I have some decisions to make"

I didn't ask her to engage. I was clear that it was a boundary I was not willing for her to cross. Conversely I was vague about what would happen (hamster), but left the ball in her court, as she owns this problem. WISNIFG is your friend on this one. If you can't battle verbally at this point, your best bet is STFU.

You definitely have the right to enforce boundaries when she behaves poorly. You do not have enough alpha street cred yet to make her leave. Once you do set that boundary, it's up to her to reconcile what and why she was wrong.

onmyownpath · 2016-09-19T04:59:11+00:00

It is time to act as if it never happened. And here is the key:

You are not acting as if it never happened because you have to take verbal abuse from her. No, no no, that would be a butt-hurt faggy reason.

You act as if it never happened because her words are fucking meaningless drivel to you. Your alpha frame is unassailable and her calling you an idiot doesn't mean a goddamn thing.

Imagine your 4-year old getting mad at you and calling you a poo-poo head. Are you going to be all mad for several days? Nope - you just shake your head and go about your business.

Same with her. She is grown so doesn't say poo poo head - but try to think of it that way. Imagine her saying it. When the wife is doing this, just imagine she is saying "you poo poo head. You are a big dumb meany"

You might start to laugh at her. If it continues - don't say anything about it. "Well, I'm not staying here for this shit" with a chuckle. Grab your shit, and go somewhere fun. Call a buddy. Hit the gym. Grab some wings.

Completely ignore all texts and calls or attempts to argue further. Go have a good time, come home when you are ready, and continue ignoring.

The next day - act completely normal. Like nothing happened. Your 4-year old called you a poo poo head. Big fucking deal.

First it's this: http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/nsh.gif

Then it's this: http://i.imgur.com/KMEnjVy.gif

Then it's this: http://giphy.com/gifs/goodbye-napoleon-dynamite-peace-out-QoesEe6tCbLyw

logger1234 · 2016-09-19T12:56:58+00:00

Sounds like you have your head on decently. A couple of comments:

1) A bar is fine - but don't you have a gym? How is the lifting going? IRON TEMPLE buddy.

2) One thing I have been doing at the end of a conversation, that doesn't buy me anything, I think, is to make snarky little comments like "you are entitled to your own opinion", or, as you put it "okie-dokey" I'm not sure these buy us anything. Specifically I mean those little "I-get-to-have-my-own-opinion" jabs at the end of sentences.

"I'm going to go lift, see you later hon" might work better.

Not sure about #2, which is half a question. Counter argument: she doesn't like it. SO WHAT? Stopping it would be entering her frame.

3) "If you want to continue watching this show, you'll have to do it in the other room."

I know how tempting these sort of ultimatum-y things are, but this shows that her attitude "got" to you. Acta, non verba.

weakandsensitive · 2016-09-19T20:18:27+00:00

You're trying to figure out why adding gas to a car with a broken engine isn't working.

The first thing you should be doing is fixing the engine.

cholomite · 2016-09-19T01:40:09+00:00

Try being playful and fun next time. If she pushes you away after a hug, playfully challenge her to a fight, or smile and tell her she's cute when she's angry. Women are stubborn and won't submit if you're acting like a beta, even if she knows you were right. All that lame shit about "talking about the problem" is beta as fuck. She won't get over it and submit to that frame, it's too weak.

If she keeps being a bitch after you've shown her that her shit doesn't phase you, then it's cool to leave and do something else, as positively as you can.

Title	Is this a test? Still figuring this out
Author	prarrott
Upvotes	0
Comments	16
Date	September 19, 2016 1:26 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/53f9rj/is_this_a_test_still_figuring_this_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/is-this-a-test-still-figuring-this-out.207086 https://theredarchive.com/post/207086

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