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raziphel Archive

View 1 post and 745 comments by raziphel on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

raziphel/r/ExRedPill20/09/17 06:45 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

It's hard but worth it
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 05:07 PM
1

Investigate emotional manipulation and abuse tactics, so you can label the red flags when you see them.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 02:03 PM
1

Do you have proof of it?
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 01:57 PM
5

Trust that you did your best, but understand that there's always room to improve. Identify what you did that made things worse, and look for ways to learn from the situation so you don't repeat your mistakes. Learn to communicate difficult feelings constructively so that you can overcome challenges with future partners together. Ideally, deal with things when they're small and manageable.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 01:54 PM
6

My statistics are just fine, as are my sources. I sincerely suggest you do some further self-assessment before continuing to drink the kool-aid. Relying on your own experiences leads to a massive observation bias, and I suggest you do some serious investigation of what cognitive lenses are and what they look like, what bias means and what it looks like in practice, actually listen to the people who're hurt by redpill-esque toxicity, what alternate models would look like using healthy practices, …
/r/ExRedPill30/10/20 07:27 PM
3

Good lord, what nonsense is this.
/r/ExRedPill30/10/20 06:44 PM
3

at whose expense though. 99.9% of the time, it's pushing women, feminists, or "beta" men (ie "outsiders") down to make themselves feel better. One can have all the supportive content without the ingrained misogyny and bigotry, in the same way one can get psychological help and personal empowerment without Scientology.
/r/ExRedPill30/10/20 06:39 PM
15

They push others down to lift themselves up, which is abusive and fucking pathetic.
/r/ExRedPill29/10/20 09:07 PM
1

I don't give a shit about what they think about me. Hell, I can articulate their reasoning better than they can, because they're just emotionally reacting to the irrational beliefs society (and their parents) programmed into them. And yeah, what they see isn't you, it's a projection of their own beliefs overlaid onto you ("you" in this case being "every other person on the planet"). These people don't think as individuals, they subconsciously respond to the social constructs they believe we repr…
/r/ExRedPill29/10/20 02:39 PM
3

They talk a big game, but it's all bluster.
/r/ExRedPill29/10/20 02:23 PM
1

There is something to be said about living in troubled times and picking your battles. Bigotry wears people down, and yeah, sometimes ya gotta let those micro-aggressions slide... which sucks. It isn't your responsibility to guide unaware white people through their own racist bullshit. If someone isn't mindful of your feelings, don't keep them around. You can't control others, but you can control their access to you. That said... when you have the energy or feel like having those conversations, …
/r/ExRedPill27/10/20 07:29 PM
1

Ask yourself how it did that, and then you can start finding ways to de-program yourself. I'd suggest you do some research about how the human mind functions as well, especially regarding concepts such as "confirmation bias" and other logical fallacies. Much of redpill ideology is rooted in basic logical fallacies (like Appeal to Nature). Understanding the mechanics of how humans make decisions can help you make fewer bad decisions. I'd also suggest researching emotional abuse and manipulation t…
/r/ExRedPill27/10/20 07:16 PM
1

Things haven't really changed though, but if this works for you, I guess so... Just be mindful about accidentally hurting others or shooting yourself in the foot.
/r/ExRedPill15/10/20 08:43 PM
2

That sounds far more complicated than it needs to be.
/r/ExRedPill14/10/20 02:34 PM
1

The root of this is distrust and disrespect. If you start any relationship with these, it will fail.
/r/ExRedPill12/10/20 02:12 PM
4

The first step is admitting it. The second step is not beating yourself up over it. You'll have FeelingsTM and that's normal, but recognize them for what they are and use that as fuel to be better. Empathy is a learned skill, and it takes work. Be patient. Learn to be kind, and learn to view the world from the perspective of others. When you make a mistake, apologize and ask for forgiveness. You can do it. Remember, how you react to things is how society has conditioned you to react. How you rea…
/r/ExRedPill06/10/20 03:29 PM
5

Evolutionary Biology is an Appeal to Nature Fallacy. Don't rely on it. More often than not, women are treated poorly if they approach men in that manner (ie there are social consequences for doing so). Hell, most non-straight women have a hard time approaching other women too, because they aren't conditioned to do so, they get super awkward, overthink everything, and they don't practice. "I'm too gay for this!" has been thrown around in jest many times, but seriously, it's very common. They don'…
/r/ExRedPill30/09/20 03:27 PM
1

I hope you never, ever have to deal with abusive partners. For your sake. God damn.
/r/ExRedPill25/09/20 04:42 PM
1

What do you think intelligence means in this context here? it is experience, either their own personal experience or someone else's that they know. They saw someone get hurt and they learned to avoid harmful people. The ones who fall for it, because people do fall for it, are those who don't see the red flags. It's not because they're "stupid", because I've seen therapists who specialize in abuse fall for these tactics. The real answers are deeper and more complex than what you're suggesting, be…
/r/ExRedPill24/09/20 07:51 PM
1

Mind control? lol Look dude, gaslighting is literally an abuse tactic. Raising your voice can be exceedingly off-putting. Eye contact is one thing but staring just makes you look weird. These are all manipulation tactics. If you don't understand why or how, it would behoove you to actually read about emotional manipulation, abuse, and grooming. Learn about it from the victim's perspective. I'm dead serious about this. If you do these things, you will be red-flagged, correctly, as a predator. Any…
/r/ExRedPill24/09/20 07:07 PM
11

Instead of trying to 'game' others, just learn how to communicate clearly and effectively. Yes this includes body language and other forms of non-verbal communication. Learn to recognize the tactics of emotional manipulation for what they are... and don't do those things to other people. Don't let others do those things to you either. Women are turned off by those things because they have to deal with them all the time. And recognize that you can do everything right and still not succeed. That d…
/r/ExRedPill24/09/20 02:02 PM
1

The technical term for making quick decisions with minimal information (ie recognizing red flags and extrapolating) is "thin slicing." https://psychology.wikia.org/wiki/Thin-slicing_judgements#:~:text=Thin%2Dslicing%20is%20a%20term,paper%20in%20the%20Psychological%20Bulletin.
/r/ExRedPill23/09/20 10:13 PM
3

it is a predatory, abusive, sociopathic mindset focused on violence. They do not understand respect, only obedience.
/r/ExRedPill16/09/20 02:37 PM
3

Learning to recognize the red flags of predatory people, regardless of their subtype, is a critical, critical skill to have.
/r/ExRedPill16/09/20 02:34 PM
6

The only consistency is hurting other people.
/r/ExRedPill16/09/20 02:30 PM
1

Don't fall for false equivalences. Redpill is specifically misogynist. In my experience, they don't listen, and nine times out of ten they fall back on base logical fallacies, ad hominems, and straw arguments. Inundating themselves with bad faith clods like ben shapiro doesn't help matters. If you want to "debate" go to purple pill, but be wary.
/r/ExRedPill16/09/20 02:29 PM
1

Oh god yes. I would sincerely suggest not falling for false equivalence fallacies or "both sides" arguments. It's not actually true.
/r/ExRedPill14/09/20 07:03 PM
1

It depends, but the trolls do get very aggressive. Usually passive aggressive, but still.
/r/ExRedPill14/09/20 07:02 PM
3

Don't fall for bio-essentialist bullshit. it is literally an Appeal to Nature Fallacy. You want an easy example? Women don't start wars.
/r/ExRedPill10/09/20 06:52 PM
1

It does, but you are only responsible for your end. "You vs Others' Perception of You" is a different conversation and no one has to be perfect, but if someone isn't treating you right... you can't control them, but you can control their access to you. Topic B is a completely different issue and it deserves it's own conversation. Abusers are often very good at hiding themselves and conditioning others, and it would behoove you to research those tactics if you haven't yet... just be sure that you…
/r/ExRedPill10/09/20 06:36 PM
1

Cults are what they are, and yeah, we do. Menslib has a very strong "ban the fuckers" policy because so many uppity dudes would come in and not only argue, but try to slyly slip their bullshit ideology into the community zeitgeist. /r/feminism (and /r/feminist) went to shit years ago because not only did their localized overton window get dragged into misogyny, actual misogynists took over the sub to "covertly" promote their cause.
/r/ExRedPill10/09/20 06:33 PM
2

So have I, but for promoting feminism, but that is still a deflection. Women and feminists have to deal with that bullying behavior all the time online, and much of it is the dogpiling of "just asking questions" from bad faith argumentors. Even if it's unintentional, don't fall into that group.
/r/ExRedPill10/09/20 06:30 PM
2

Typically yes. Or they're looking for reinforcement and validation. It's not really different than door to door missionaries... except that Jehovah's Witnesses are typically more polite.
/r/ExRedPill08/09/20 09:09 PM
3

Did you ever stop to consider that your premise is wrong, that you're carrying additional baggage, that you're approaching the issues incorrectly, that you're ignoring the context of the conversation you're proposing, and that you aren't actually listening to the critiques? Do a google search for "Sea Lioning" or the oft-abused defense: "I'm just asking questions!" That sort of shit makes people rightfully defensive.
/r/ExRedPill08/09/20 09:08 PM
2

Women do have to consent, yes. Active enthusiasm is even better. That is literally how this works - it requires consent and support from all parties involved. Why do you imagine that is a bad thing? Would you really want to date someone who isn't interested in you? Come on.
/r/ExRedPill08/09/20 09:05 PM
2

The truth is that it's her decision to make, not yours, and you've got to accept and respect that, even if the answer isn't what you hoped for. You're allowed to be disappointed, but don't hold on to those feelings - feel them, acknowledge them, and let them go. No one wins em all, and you aren't likely to get an answer why, which is ok. Do you really want to 'argue' someone into going on a date with you? I wouldn't. You gotta just let it roll off of you, like water off a duck's back. Accepting …
/r/ExRedPill01/09/20 08:46 PM
8

Look up emotional manipulation and abuse tactics, then decide for yourself. If you treat people poorly, they aren't gonna want to stay. If you don't have something to offer, they arent going to stay. That's not really a hard concept, is it? And no, that doesn't mean focus on the shallow answers (such as physique or money). You just have to understand what those things mean, and then avoid shooting yourself in the foot.
/r/ExRedPill01/09/20 08:26 PM
1

Now you know it's a cult.
/r/ExRedPill28/08/20 02:03 AM
11

Some of us are old enough to have gotten over this shit long before reddit existed, or before "redpill" was even an entry in the lexicon. Check your own observation biases first.
/r/ExRedPill26/08/20 08:57 PM
1

You don't have to read people's minds, and no one is saying you should. Stop setting up straw arguments. There's no 100% guarantee of success and anyone telling you otherwise is a liar. Stop setting up straw arguments or creating false positions to shit on yourself. Get some therapy - you deserve better than how you treat yourself. Get diagnosed for autism while you're at it, and I don't say that to disparage you. You're clearly floundering and need better help to move past where you currently a…
/r/ExRedPill25/08/20 05:15 PM
1

Confidence isn't all you need to have. I never said that. Be mindful of your own interpolations here. Confidence is a (hopefully accurate) measure of your skills and mental health. A "skill" is something that can be improved with practice, education, etc. However, oftentimes "good mental health" is also a skill. On top of that admittedly short summation, dating requires "other people" who one must treat with respect, actively understand their own goals and preferences, etc. It is ABSOLUTELY situ…
/r/ExRedPill25/08/20 05:10 PM
1

Of course it's situational. Everything is situational. The entire world is, and you'll have to get used to that. You're confident you can walk, right? Why? Because you practiced until it's second nature. I suggest you speak with a therapist, dude.
/r/ExRedPill19/08/20 12:14 PM
2

Confidence is a meta-skill, related to how comfortable and practiced you are with a given task (such as flirting). That said, it's easy for the oblivious to fake it. Dating success is a matter of probabilities, but it involves a substantial amount of variables. If you have the skills to be flexible, be someone others want around, don't do or say something that triggers a red flag reaction, and can capitalize on potential opportunities, you'll do better than someone who can't do those things.
/r/ExRedPill17/08/20 11:44 PM
2

But if feels true!
/r/ExRedPill17/08/20 07:12 PM
3

This sort of context does matter because it addresses cognitive bias. So yes, it is a valid thing to consider. Whether you like that or not is secondary, especially when the initial question is not put forth in good faith.
/r/ExRedPill17/08/20 07:11 PM
1

Because TRP not about dating, it's about misogyny. Their entire MO is to present women as lesser and inferior. "Dating" is just the superficial excuse. You need to learn what respect actually means and looks like. Not abstractly, but in active practice. Men misconstrue "nice and respectful" as "bland and boring" because they do not understand what "safe and stable" actually means. They don't want to do the cognitive work, so they fall back on ridiculous tropes like "women like bad boys" instead,…
/r/ExRedPill17/08/20 07:06 PM
6

Redpill "theory" is emotionally abusive. I sincerely suggest you find other sources of information. I'm serious. Read up about emotional abuse and look at the parallels. Learn how to spot the misogyny. Talk to a wider and more diverse group of people, instead of basing your decisions on what a bunch of bitter, manipulative assholes assume what women want. Instead, learn to be kind. Be someone others want around. Don't beat yourself up for those things, but recognize how to move past it in a heal…
/r/ExRedPill17/08/20 06:56 PM
5

If they invest their time in themselves and don't just stagnate? Maybe. Those things they whine about take work and personal growth, but they don't want to do that work - they just want to reap the rewards.
/r/ExRedPill11/08/20 01:34 PM
3

Obviously. Hell, you'll probably find more success because you'll have to develop your own personality instead of coping one from the abusers.
/r/ExRedPill09/08/20 09:46 PM
9

They get into a self-defeating cycle and spiral downard.
/r/ExRedPill06/08/20 09:10 PM
3

I would also suggest speaking with a therapist.
/r/ExRedPill23/07/20 01:44 PM
2

That depends on the cult, but there's no point in arguing. Thankfully TRP isn't that bad, but the Eliot Rodgers' of the world, and those who idolize them, are sharp reminders of the violence.
/r/ExRedPill17/07/20 07:12 PM
1

Women are natural followers This right here is what I'm talking about. Leave your shitty bio-essentialism pseudo-philosophy at the door.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/20 08:42 PM
3

The current landscape is absolutely not ideal, but not for the ideas you're espousing. If you have to state that women are lesser (by "not being creators" or however you choose to phrase it), you're merely exacerbating the existent problems. You're also only reaching for superficial answers, without understanding what respect for others actually looks like, let alone the actual psychology of decision-making involved, and it certainly doesn't get someone out of that hole. Don't put others down to…
/r/ExRedPill16/07/20 05:33 PM
2

Your views are shallow and outdated.
/r/ExRedPill16/07/20 03:55 PM
1

TRP is based on PUA techniques. That shit is deeply interwoven.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/20 12:36 AM
5

It isn't if you have a backbone and a stronger grasp of basic ethics. Just because some folks make bad decisions does not justify the hatred or violence aimed at them by abusers. Don't blame the victims.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/20 12:36 AM
5

These people are predators, manipulators, and abusers. With practice, the successful ones can hide their nature well enough to get what they want from others, but it doesn't last. They hurt others to make themselves feel better, and that shit always comes back around. Experienced women know enough to avoid these types... which is why they actively pursue the young, naive, and wounded.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/20 12:34 AM
3

Shitting on others makes them feel stronger. It is a predation cult.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/20 12:32 AM
8

Humans are emotional creatures who rationalize the beliefs and worldviews that they want to be true. People also latch on to anything that makes themselves feel good, especially those who're hurting. This becomes extra dangerous when that belief becomes a part of the individual's own personal identity. Any critique on the group becomes an attack on the individual person. The foundation of TRP, like all conservative ideologies, is pushing others down to make themselves feel better. Not only is th…
/r/ExRedPill07/07/20 03:26 PM
6

They need to understand what respect for others actually means, among other things.
/r/ExRedPill06/07/20 08:04 PM
2

I agree. Those clods aren't helping.
/r/ExRedPill06/07/20 01:49 PM
20

The entire point of RP is to offload the hard responsibilities onto women. Specifically regarding the responsibilities for their own hurt feelings and the actions that arise from them. That is a major core of abuse and bigotry. "YOU deserve the suffering I inflict upon you."
/r/ExRedPill30/06/20 02:53 PM
2

I'm not going to play line-by-line edit. Everyone has observation bias, but the more we're aware of it, the more we can account for it. If you're not listening to others when they talk about their suffering, then yeah, you are lessening what they have to say. Whether you recognize this or not, or whether this is your intention or not, is really irrelevant. You can either listen, learn, and adapt your behavior, or you can continue doing what you're doing and getting the same results. That's all o…
/r/ExRedPill29/06/20 09:13 PM
3

Observation bias is one hell of a drug, and your anecdotes are not evidence. You're right, both sides do not have the same level of hardship. But stop attempting to lessen what other people face to make yourself feel better. That doesn't actually work and it's not constructive. No one said all women are angels, so don't construct straw arguments. A lot of 'em are fucked up too. It happens, and yes, men are victims of abuse too. That said, it is still distinctly one-sided. Every woman has been se…
/r/ExRedPill29/06/20 04:21 PM
1

Confidence is a learned skill. Some people who have more advantages than others take to it faster than others because they're set up for success, but the rest of us lowly humans have to learn it the hard way. That shit's tough, but it is possible and you can do it. I'm glad to hear you're closer to the track you need to be on. Trust in yourself, and trust that you will continue to grow. Just remember that confidence is not the same as arrogance, that assertiveness is not the same as aggressivene…
/r/ExRedPill29/06/20 04:18 PM
5

I'm not attempting to dismiss you or your experiences, but seriously, it's very important to distinguish between good and bad attention. I would, in all honestly, learn to listen to the survivors of domestic abuse and value what they say. It's not "the particular kind of man they are interested in" - that's far too flippant - but actual fucking abusers. At minimum so that you can avoid abusers yourself, but also so that you don't accidentally hurt someone or push someone away when they do show i…
/r/ExRedPill29/06/20 04:08 PM
36

Many are RP dudes, catfishing each other. Be skeptical. That said... internal bias is one hell of a drug, man. It's not a logical decision, but a rationalized one, because bigotry is a cult based on belief and faith. The women who do embrace this are conditioned to assume it's True and Correct, not to mention Good, that their "place" is lesser than a man's, that they are inherently inferior, and that they must be subservient. The more conservative a person and their community is, the more likely…
/r/ExRedPill29/06/20 03:19 PM
8

All women look for red flags for bad behavior because they must do so (for safety reasons), but those are not the same as what you're calling shit tests. What you're seeing here is manipulation and emotional abuse. "Make them mad to see if they'll stick around" means she's an abuser looking for victims. Don't tolerate manipulative or abusive behavior, dude. Others don't know how to communicate, or how to process emotions in a healthy manner, because lots of people are just bad at this, but that'…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/20 12:25 AM
6

> people being only sexually attracted to you (minus dangerous situations) is better than nothing at all I know it might seem like it, but it really, really isn't. Keep in mind that there is no way to 100% tell what is or isn't dangerous sexual attention until it's too late. Every woman has experience with sexual harassment. 1 in 5, if not higher, have been raped. The seasoned predators wait until you've dropped your guard and are vulnerable; I'm sure you can guess what that does to someone's ab…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/20 12:08 AM
1

Don't make assumptions about the experiences of others. Try listening to them instead.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/20 12:06 AM
2

Are they neuro-atypical, or are they just poorly socialized? Lots of these folks self-diagnose, to the detriment of the autistic, and it's really hard to tell those details online. Please don't read this as an attempt to shut down that conversation, but to investigate it in more depth. The line between the two certainly overlaps, and we have to address both aspects of this directly, with compassion and kindness. I do know some autistic men - and women - in relationships, but I also know that thi…
/r/ExRedPill27/06/20 12:04 AM
8

Sup dude. You can certainly compare gender roles, but I would suggest investigating about gender roles and expectations first, because how we think and observe/understand the world is shaped by society first and foremost. Gender is a social construct, and we're often mashed into those boxes whether we really want to fit or not. That goes for everyone, and the standard ones (male, female, etc) are both shitty in their own ways. We can understand how people are impacted by these things, and apprec…
/r/ExRedPill26/06/20 11:38 PM
6

Why do you assume she has bad intentions? No, there aren't a lot of them out there. Do you have any idea what having a baby does to a person, and how many women are left to fend for themselves? That shit is expensive and dangerous. I sincerely suggest you investigate your preconceived notions and where they come from.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/20 05:41 PM
2

This is just a misogynist straw argument, isn't it.
/r/ExRedPill09/06/20 10:15 PM
2

Those fools are definitely shallow too. Shallow and self-centered enough to not even realize it. I'd say someone's gotta hold down the left side of that bell curve, but really, they don't. They could grow the fuck up if they chose to, but they don't see the need. It would be sad if they weren't hurting other people; then it's just infuriating.
/r/ExRedPill08/06/20 07:08 PM
5

There are other sources, but those other sources require personal growth, morality, and culpability. TRP is abusive. It routinely blames the other person for the failures of the individual. It intentionally misunderstands simple topics, like how to be confident without being an asshole, and plays to the worst and most shallow traits a person might have. It's a gateway to further bigotry and a recruitment ground for white supremacists for a reason.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 05:56 PM
2

Not listening to educated, experienced people or employing critical thought is the epitome of foolishness. Let's not pretend otherwise. Let's also not pretend that all opinions are equal, or that issues of equality and respect are simple opinions. Opinions are for things like which cheese or sports team is best. But if you want to keep making those mistakes and repeating the heartbreaks, well, that's your decision.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 05:52 PM
3

TRP is manipulative abuse. The "good things" are easily found elsewhere, without the toxicity. More and more women are recognizing those tactics for what they are and avoiding the people who do it, because that manipulation is commonplace enough that they become highly attuned to it through (negative) experience. Luck is a small percentage of the issue. More importantly is having the correct skills to capitalize on the networking opportunities while not shooting yourself in the foot.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 05:51 PM
3

Population statistics say you have. The most likely case here is that either you failed to recognize them for what they were, or you demonstrated enough red flags that they ran the fuck away from you (and still failed to notice).
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 05:48 PM
4

Your lack of understanding basic terms and concepts clearly demonstrates your failures here. Stop it. You're shooting yourself in the foot and it's now obvious why other people, especially women, don't want to be around you. You are not a safe person.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 05:46 PM
3

"Hot" is subjective and not a final determinant of a person's worth as a partner. Attraction may have some base standards, but it's also incredibly complex for anyone who isn't a shallow prole. Your understanding of this is... lacking.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 05:44 PM
2

Anything can be used to reinforce ideologies based on feelings. That's what rationalization is. Don't fall for the propaganda.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 05:42 PM
2

Sociologists know. They use science to understand these things (despite the protestations of the STEM nerds). One doesn't need to be an expert at it, but one should learn to recognize correct information from the pseudoscience, propaganda, and hurtful bullshit.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 05:41 PM
3

Investigate the things you think women want. Are those "shallow" (you know, money, popularity, physical attributes, sex, etc)? Though there are shallow women out there (just like there are shallow men), recognize that this is a small subset of that significantly larger population. However, observation bias means you recognize the ones you're looking for more quickly and give them more weight. Like when you buy a new car, you suddenly start noticing all the other similar cars. From there, do a li…
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 05:37 PM
1

If you don't want to do it, then don't. This was the first thing that popped into your head because that's how you've been conditioned to react. How you react to that is what determines who you are.
/r/ExRedPill31/05/20 11:47 PM
2

It's not easier. It's just a different flavor of experience, it's not a competition, and most of it is bad.
/r/ExRedPill31/05/20 11:45 PM
15

It's always been an anti-woman echo chamber, but groups like this do escalate their rhetoric. http://prestersperspective.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_16.html Especially when groups like that are recruitment pools for racists and NeoNazis, who profit from pushing them to more and more extremes.
/r/ExRedPill29/05/20 08:29 PM
15

It's fodder for the lowest common denominator. It works because it gives them someone to push down upon to feel better. That's how cults and bigotry work.
/r/ExRedPill29/05/20 08:27 PM
1

There's a difficult balance between "building the world we want" and "accepting the world we live in." When it comes to partners, learn how to learn toward the former. I am a passionate, sensitive artist, dude. I'm as good 40+ lbs overweight. I'm no casanova or anything, but that's not my goal - my goal is happiness, contentment, and stability. I don't expect a smooth ride or a life free of heartache (because more dating = more heartache), but I work toward that because it's who I am and that's …
/r/ExRedPill29/05/20 08:20 PM
1

If you want to understand it, then read. Read this post, in an effort to understand, not to argue, then go read some books. Hell, you can start at wikipedia. It's free and easy, but we know you won't. I am not going to repeat myself, nor define basic terms and proven concepts, especially to a sea lion who isn't here in good faith.
/r/ExRedPill29/05/20 08:01 PM
1

They absolutely are easy mistakes and they're painfully common.
/r/ExRedPill28/05/20 07:41 PM
2

Where did you get that impression, or are you just asking leading questions in the hope of making some type of straw argument? That is a, frankly, disingenuous question and you know it. Behaviors are heavily dependent on social conditioning - how people are taught to act and behave, how they're rewarded or punished for certain actions, how that reward/punishment/reaction affects our thoughts and feelings, etc. We can all agree that people (as groups, divided by gender, sex, race, religion, wealt…
/r/ExRedPill28/05/20 07:38 PM
1

You're right to be upset and disappointed about the situation, but try not to be angry (if that makes sense).
/r/ExRedPill28/05/20 07:26 PM
2

Whether you agree with body language or not is irrelevant, dude. For good or for ill, this is how people function. Remember, in the grand scale of things, logic, language, and even conscious thought are recent inventions. There are literally people now who don't have a verbal narrative in their head - they aren't illiterate, they just react to stimuli. On top of that, not everyone has access to the training or skills necessary to be good at those things. No one is born logical or rational either…
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 04:08 PM
1

Society definitely has it's biases, yes. That's a hard thing to deal with, but it's not something you can control. You can control yourself, for the most part. With work, you can control your behaviors. You can also control who has access to you. Find where the people who like people like you congregate, and go there. Make friends first and foremost.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 04:04 PM
1

Don't listen to intrusive thoughts, dude. Your exes relationships aren't your concern, and her drama is her problem, not yours. She's a trainwreck and you need to distance yourself from her, especially in how you think. I would sincerely suggest you speak to a therapist.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 04:02 PM
1

People are typically reactive. If someone's being mean, do a bit of reflection after the fact (without them). Determine if it's a 'them' issue or a 'you' issue. I'm not saying this to lay fault at your or anyone else's feet here, but learning to objectively analyze a situation afterward and determine where the missteps lay is a critical part of personal growth. Maybe you didn't come off right. Maybe it's not even about you. Analysis doesn't require acceptance. You shouldn't blanket accept anythi…
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 03:59 PM
3

There’s a simple narrative that to be dateable, you have to be confident, not a dick Being interesting is not the same as being dangerous. Being assertive is not the same as being aggressive. Being safe is not the same as being boring. These are very easy mistakes to make, especially for men who're raised that masculinity requires violence, but they are cripplingly unhealthy.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 02:57 PM
1

Chad is right. The issue here is one of perspective. You're not seeing the things you're doing wrong. We as human beings have massive blind spots when it comes to our own behaviors and how those things affect others. That's to be expected - it's a very hard skill, and if everyone could do it, they would, but we all know they don't. Self-awareness takes a lot of practice, and self-improvement is a life-long practice. Don't assume women are monolithic, either. Don't assume women have shallow desir…
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 02:55 PM
1

Everyone cherry picks when making decisions, because that's how snap decisions are made. Our brains are built to make quick decisions on minimal information as a survival mechanism. The term for that is thin slicing. This is especially true when it comes to recognizing the red flags of abusers and other dangerous situations.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 02:47 PM
1

You can be a little angry at your past self for making mistakes, but you also need to forgive yourself as well. Everyone makes mistakes. There's nothing wrong with not wanting to creep people out. Flirting is a skill that takes practice. I've made a lot of people uncomfortable too, and that's part of growth. Take responsibility, learn from it, apologize as necessary, and don't do it in the future. The best thing you can do is learn to read the body language of others, so that you'll recognize wh…
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 02:47 PM
1

There may be an objective truth out there, but our understanding of it can only be subjective. Conversations like this must also include empathy and compassion, as much as possible, because ultimately we mortal humans are simply electrified meat, fueled by chemicals processed into feelings and emotions, rationalized with an overlay of conscious linguistic thought. Systemic misogyny does require men to do the majority of approaches and 'lead the dance' as it were, because women are punished more …
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 02:41 PM
1

My ex is basically the type of girl that red pills a man So you were dating an abuser? That really blows, but please keep the context in mind here. You can't love someone into changing their behavior like that, and she certainly should not be considered a representative of women as a whole. It can take a very long time to overcome the trauma of abuse.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 02:36 PM
3

Jordan Peterson is a garbage can of misogyny. Just because he's civil about it doesn't make it better.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 02:33 PM
2

Stop looking to validate your self esteem in other people. That never ends well. It's ok to want positive reinforcement, but the core of this must come from within. Yeah, I know that's fucking hard sometimes.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 02:32 PM
2

Guys find partners when they're not looking too. Just think of it as non-linear networking - sometimes you find things you need when you're not actively looking, and that's fine. When those opportunities present themselves it's important that you have the social skills required to capitalize on them. I met an ex because I went to a friend's birthday party. I got a job offer because I was in a car accident. It happens, and it's nothing to get upset about. Part of the issue here is that when you'r…
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 02:27 PM
2

It's not hard to be kind to others.
/r/ExRedPill26/05/20 01:00 PM
38

You won't be the same. You'll be better, more confident, and more mature once you work yourself through this. There's no such thing as "forever damaged" and we all exist in a state of perpetual improvement. Confidence is a skill that takes practice. I suggest you get therapy.
/r/ExRedPill23/05/20 04:27 AM
11

Some folks are just selfish, callous, shallow, insipid, and hurtful. OP is one of those people. You're looking at the wrong examples here, and you gave yourself your own answer. If the grand majority of responders (90%, you said) were calling that asshole out for being a heartless gremlin, those are the people you should look to for moral and life lessons. Use some common sense here dude. As others have stated, if this is what causes someone to leave, you're better off without that person in you…
/r/ExRedPill22/05/20 03:04 PM
10

Who hurt you? Please get some therapy.
/r/ExRedPill22/05/20 02:59 PM
2

I'm sure they do, because he makes everyone uncomfortable.
/r/ExRedPill21/05/20 06:16 PM
3

What does 40 women a day actually look like to you? TLDR: that's unreasonable hyperbole.
/r/ExRedPill21/05/20 05:18 PM
5

It depends on how you define "different" and what you prioritize. Gender roles condition us to think differently (because society treats us differently), and there are some variables regarding how hormones affect how we think, but deep down... we're just electrified meat, doing our best in a difficult world. The bulk of any given person's needs are universal. Look at Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs for a good place to start. Safety, Security, Respect, Love, Acceptance, etc. What those look like and …
/r/ExRedPill21/05/20 05:10 PM
4

Approaching 150,000 people, averaging 5 a day, would take 82 years. Yeah, PUA guy there is proselytizing nonsense. It's almost embarrassing.
/r/ExRedPill21/05/20 04:57 PM
12

This. Comparing the PUA tactics to emotional abuse tactics is stark and eye-opening. Anyone worth their shit will recognize those manipulators for what they are and avoid them like the god damn plague they are.
/r/ExRedPill20/05/20 07:38 PM
12

150,000 approaches? What the fuck. That sounds fucking exhausting for everyone involved. There's far better, and far more efficient, ways of doing this that don't reply on emotional abuse and psychological manipulation. Besides, the women you actually want to be with will spot that bullshit a mile away and avoid you.
/r/ExRedPill20/05/20 07:36 PM
18

Then don't date them. There's nothing wrong with wanting financial stability in your life or your partner(s), because being broke fucking sucks, but if you don't want to date superficial or materialistic people, then well... no one's forcing you to. But don't for even a hot moment think that this is the only thing women want in someone. Attraction is more complex than that. Don't look down on people who have good social skills either - that would be foolish and self-sabotaging. Be someone others…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 08:53 PM
3

I phrased it the way I did because the statement was about him and his own feelings. Their decisions reflect themselves, just as his decisions reflect himself. He can't control anyone else, but he can, with practice, control himself. We should all avoid people like that, regardless of their gender. Life is tough enough without that bullshit, heartache, and drama. TRP, as with all forms of misogyny and bigotry, uses that incredibly small subset of people to demonize the whole demographic, justify…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 08:47 PM
5

Just shave your head, dude. It's a good look.
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 04:48 PM
7

You have to learn to trust that women are capable of making their own decisions, that those decisions are healthy. Sure there are people who make bad decisions, but that's not the point. This isn't about women. It's about you. I kinda doubt that this is really about your hair at all. That's just the easy thing to grab onto and obsess over. Let go of your need to look on others as lesser, in this case women, to make yourself feel better. Stop thinking of them as solely superficial. Let go of that…
/r/ExRedPill18/05/20 04:46 PM
1

You sure as fuck implied it. "A healthier lifestyle with more success with women" is anything but TRP. You're also intentionally missing the point and shifting the goalposts, but I don't expect logic or consistency from an idiot cultist.
/r/ExRedPill12/05/20 05:32 PM
5

You lack basic human empathy for other people. He can exercise and lose weight for himself, but that is actually a seperate conversation. It certainly won't hurt him and society is what it is, but he's worthy of love and affection from others just the way he is.
/r/ExRedPill11/05/20 01:50 PM
1

Sorry you had that experience, but that's absolutely not some universal trait. Don't promote Appeal to Nature fallacies either.
/r/ExRedPill08/05/20 11:51 PM
1

No, of course not. If someone does those things, for whatever reason, they're not the right person for you and you should find someone who aligns better. However. There are healthy and unhealthy ways to express emotions. Communicating whatever you need to say in a safe, stable, and constructive way is typically best. I know that might sound hard, but it's just a skill that takes practice. Your feelings are valid, but they only get to inform your decisions - they don't get to control you. As a fe…
/r/ExRedPill08/05/20 11:48 PM
25

TRP is predatory, disrespectful, abusive, and manipulative. Any woman with experience with this (which is, frankly, most women), can recognize the bullshit a mile away and will avoid the people who do these things like the plague they are. Any partner worth a shit isn't going to want to be around you if you treat them like shit. That cannot be more self evident. So yeah, it's not just a trap, it's a cult cycle. The individual is encouraged to blame the women who refuse them, get positive support…
/r/ExRedPill08/05/20 10:46 PM
1

I can't do the work for you, and there are a lot of details here that can't be communicated easily or succinctly. I can only help you develop the right tools to do it yourself. Please understand that I'm doing my best here given the limitations of the format (and the fact that you're not paying me, at all, to do this work). If I could give you a detailed list that guaranteed easy success, I'd write a book about it and be a millionaire. Please go speak to a therapist. Understand that advice like …
/r/ExRedPill07/05/20 04:41 PM
5

Yes they do, and more. Whether they do those things to you is a different topic entirely. Whether you notice them when they do is also a different topic. Don't construct straw arguments. I would sincerely suggest you research how systemic misogyny works, what the experiences of women actually are living in that kind of society, and in general, stop and take a moment to actually listen to the ones who can articulate the issues well. Understand how we are influenced and conditioned by that systemi…
/r/ExRedPill07/05/20 04:36 PM
4

It's a straw man argument, at best. Nothing about it is logical. It's just kneejerk emotional reactionism.
/r/ExRedPill07/05/20 03:16 PM
18

No, women do not have certainty. You need to get that idea out of your head right this instant. You also need to understand that "bad attention" is not better than "no attention." This isn't to put your situation down at all, but don't let desperation drive your thoughts. It's not about clicking with "a woman" but "the right woman". You aren't going to click with most women. I don't. No one does. Don't expect that. | My personality is so far off stream from what people consider attractive in a w…
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 07:59 PM
1

I'm not telling you to suck it up. No one is telling you that. I just want you to fucking listen and actually hear what I'm attempting to tell you. You're spinning your wheels and wearing yourself out without making progress, meaning you need to reassess your approach and attempt to do something different. Stop. Breathe. Meditate. Relax. Rest. Get out of the house and get away from the internet. You can recognize how far you've come, and be proud of that, while still recognizing that there's mor…
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 07:43 PM
1

I don't know what to tell you then dude, especially if you're just going to argue. You're clearly doing something wrong. The most obvious factors you're facing are a lack the experience, self-awareness, or the perspective necessary to recognize where the problems actually are. Either take responsibility and address this, or don't. Making excuses won't get you anywhere, and it's quite clear that the energy you spent on your "self-improvement mojo" was either not enough or was misplaced. Given tha…
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 04:23 PM
1

Arguing against yourself might feel validating for your current position in life but it won't help you move forward.
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 04:10 PM
2

You're setting up a straw argument to validate your insecurities. I can't give you specific advice because I don't know you, but keep in mind that dating is a social skill, and all skills improve with practice. Start small. Just work on being friends with women first. Build up your comfort level, with no expectations, and go from there. Also, please consider speaking to a therapist.
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 04:10 PM
2

That depends on the self improvement steps you're taking. They aren't all equal. Self improvement is a life-long journey.
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 03:08 PM
2

No, you won't. It may seem like that from where you stand now, but that's why I suggest you speak to a therapist. Don't expect others to do the work for you. People look for the love they know, and dealing with abuse really changes how we understand what love is and what it can be. If you can recognize the signs of manipulation and abuse, don't date those people. Work on yourself, bro. You deserve that.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/20 03:53 PM
3

I am a 41 year old man, dude. Just for context here. I'm sorry to hear about the abusive relationship, and I'm glad you're safe now. I (thankfully) haven't experienced that, but I know a lot of folks who have. That shit's rough and the long-term effects are very difficult to overcome. No one said that all women are innocent. They're people, just like you, me, and everyone else. I would suggest speaking with a therapist about those issues. They'd be more prepared to help you than I can, especiall…
/r/ExRedPill04/05/20 02:59 PM
1

You can still want her to be happy. You can also trust her not to date people who treat her poorly.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/20 02:56 PM
3

If you're her friend, you'll be happy when she's happy. You really need to reconsider the straw arguments you're lining up against here, bro.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/20 10:20 PM
9

Women are allowed to consider their own safety (physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially), dude. Whether you like it or not, they do have to be cautious about such things. If you think they don't have similar feelings of despair and loneliness at times, then you need to practice some basic human empathy. On top of that, once you understand body language a little better, you'll understand how this process works and you will see when women are interested and the steps they take to initiate …
/r/ExRedPill01/05/20 10:17 PM
24

Rightwing, patriarchal Christians are willing to give him attention. That's how.
/r/ExRedPill30/04/20 01:56 PM
28

Who cares. He's a raging narcissist, and I sincerely doubt he actually respects women as equals yet.
/r/ExRedPill30/04/20 01:56 PM
3

Manipulation and abuse work sometimes, otherwise people wouldn't do it. HOWEVER, they work at the cost of hurting other people, which drives them away and only leads to your own heartbreak. Would you want to date someone who uses those tactics against you? No, probably not. Your preconceived notions about the dating scene is a PUA/redpill rationalization of what you want to be true. The dating scene is a hot mess and frankly doesn't favor anyone. That said, more and more women recognize those ta…
/r/ExRedPill30/04/20 01:52 PM
11

The good things are just bait to make you blindly accept the rest of the ideology. That's how cults operate. Scientology is not different. If you're not 100% on a variety of other topics, you're likely to take the toxic and dangerous concepts without criticially thinking about it, and those things will take root. TRP is awash in misogyny, and that is a direct gateway toward racism and all other forms of bigotry. It normalizes abusive behaviors. It's truly best to not just throw those things out,…
/r/ExRedPill29/04/20 04:01 PM
2

Your age here is irrelevant regarding a couple's counselor. Hell, it's better to get that third-party advice sooner than later. This relationship isn't just about you, either.
/r/ExRedPill29/04/20 03:30 PM
2

You're not crazy. You were dealing with difficult feelings and probably didn't know how to process them. It happens to everyone at some point, so don't put yourself down, ok? Life is hard enough without that. Trust that you did your best with what you had at the time. Work to improve yourself because you learned from those mistakes, and you'll be more prepared to build a stronger, more stable future. That's really the best thing you can do with hardships like that, and thankfully yours was relat…
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 08:07 PM
3

It's likely that these are trigger topics and there are deep-seated issues involved here that haven't been addressed yet. I can't say what those emotional difficulties might be, but I'm sure you both have 'em (because everyone does). I would also suggest that you two work on healthy communication tactics. Not just her doing that work either - if you respect her, her understanding of your actions are valid too, and it's important that you listen to each other. You could have very easily said some…
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 07:46 PM
2

just say no to Appeal to Nature fallacies.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 07:39 PM
1

The truths are bait to lure in suckers. Every cult has those.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 07:38 PM
8

TRP is a cult built on abuse. Learn to spot the red flags well in advance and avoid them like the plague they are. I'm serious here. Research the tactics of abusers, manipulators, narcissists, and cults. You'll find significant overlap.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 07:38 PM
8

You can't control other people, but you can control their access to you. If someone doesn't respect you, don't be around them.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 07:36 PM
1

the level of straw arguments in this is literally insane, dude.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 07:32 PM
2

Women don't decline after 25, and those certainly weren't your best years. You have SO MUCH MORE to offer future partners than what misogynist ideologies value.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 07:30 PM
3

If you haven't yet, I would suggest researching the tactics of emotional manipulators and abusers, so that you'll be more prepared to spot these malicious little goblins sooner than later. The amount of overlap, esp. since TRP evolved out of the pickup artist community, is striking.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 07:28 PM
5

Don't apologize at all.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 07:26 PM
2

Better throwing out that self-centered abuser sooner than later. I hope you've found someone more worthy of your energy, who actually respects you.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/20 07:25 PM
6

I was almost done with a big long response but my cat reset my computer. I'll have to get back to you later. In the mean time, I would suggest researching the following: logical fallacies, specifically "appeal to authority" fallacies. TRP uses Appeal to Biology fallacies all the time to justify their beliefs. abuse and manipulation tactics cult tactics, notably things like this http://prestersperspective.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_16.html but also their indoctrination and retention methods. TRP op…
/r/ExRedPill22/04/20 02:59 PM
1

Insecurity is when you don't feel good enough about yourself. I mean, that's literally the definition of it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_security Again, there are reasonable standards (because people, including women, are allowed to have those), but they're not actually as high as you believe they are. Be aware of your own cognitive biases. Depression lies. I would sincerely suggest you speak to a therapist. Possibly about body dysmorphia issues, but definitely about depression, anxi…
/r/ExRedPill21/04/20 10:25 PM
1

You don't have to be Superman. There are standards, but they aren't impossible. Women are just people, and there are reasonable expectations to fit into society. It's too much to put into one reddit reply (with functional depth and detail), but remember, these are just skills that take practice. Everything is a skill that takes practice. The biggest ones, honestly, are being safe, fun, and kind*. Once you establish those as a foundation of behavior, the rest will typically fall in line fairly ea…
/r/ExRedPill21/04/20 10:12 PM
1

The feeling of not being good enough is typically insecurity. Those feelings are valid, and they can inform your decisions, but it's important to not let them direct your actions. The standards for men aren't actually that high, but that's also a matter of perspective.
/r/ExRedPill21/04/20 10:06 PM
1

Trigger events are just triggers, they aren't the cause itself. Look deeper, toward the root causes, within yourself. Investigate why you have such strong emotional reactions. Don't dismiss them - emotions are valid; it's just your limbic system pulling the fire alarm when confronted with something that smells like a thing that hurt you in the past, because that thing, whatever it is, isn't resolved well. Our subconscious also work by association too, so whatever the root causes are might not be…
/r/ExRedPill21/04/20 09:04 PM
2

It's ok not to know what to do. Everyone's been there at some point. There's nothing wrong with asking for help either. Be patient with yourself, dude; cognitive-behavioral therapy takes time. But, also, recognize where the flaws in your logic are. For example, being positive isn't a "Chad" trait. Don't compare yourself to straw men. I would suggest, while you're learning about all of those things, learn about how to manage intrusive thoughts, and read up on other healthy mental behaviors. Look …
/r/ExRedPill21/04/20 08:58 PM
25

The concept is to create an illusion of control based on underhanded and hurtful tactics to reinforce systemic privilege. Misguided men are drawn to that sort of thing because they're self-centered and are more than willing to rationalize their own bad behavior to get what they want. Don't lean on "Scientific Fact" as an Appeal to Authority Fallacy, because it's very, very clear that you not only don't understand how science works, let alone people, you're taking a lot of bullshit on faith and r…
/r/ExRedPill21/04/20 03:36 PM
52

What you tried were abuse and manipulation tactics whose foundation is hurting others and disrespect as a means of establishing control. Of course it fucking went wrong. The game is bullshit and you got what you deserved. Do not play childish, foolish games with people. If you respect her and want to keep her around, you need to take responsibility, apologize, and change your behavior, but know full well that even this isn't a guarantee. She's her own person with her own agency, and if you canno…
/r/ExRedPill21/04/20 03:28 PM
20

There's no need for an elaborate critique. It's mostly logical fallacies (such as appeal to nature fallacies), emotional abuse tactics, and cult bigotry. TRP falls on it's face easily enough if you're not emotionally invested in it.
/r/ExRedPill18/04/20 01:49 AM
14

Redpill and MRA tactics are predatory, manipulative, and abusive. I'm serious there. Do a little reading on the actual tactics of abusers. Once you know the tactics and can name them, you'll start to see a significant level of overlap. Once you can recognize that, use that lens to look into politics.
/r/ExRedPill14/04/20 07:04 PM
25

This is what happens when you hurt other people. They leave. Sometimes we all have to learn lessons the hard way. This is your chance to never make these mistakes again. He's not a "nice guy" - it's more likely that he's kind, respectful, and interesting. I say this because "nice guys" are often just passive aggressive assholes. Don't be that guy either. Instead, be someone others actually want around. I would suggest not falling back on some idealized past that never actually existed (because f…
/r/ExRedPill14/04/20 07:02 PM
1

I consider them sociopaths. I know a number of sadists who aren't evil, manipulative, abusive assholes.
/r/ExRedPill09/04/20 06:02 PM
5

Blaming labels is the easy way out, but remember that humans still need methods to shorthand long and complex conversations, and accurate terms do help us put easy handles on difficult topics. That's just part of human nature, and part of how we as chemical creatures think. Recognize those things for what they are.
/r/ExRedPill09/04/20 05:29 PM
8

Sort of, but not really. Per a study comparing Italy and Korea, old folks, men, and smokers are more likely to have harsher symptoms (and die) than others. We could also consider that men are less likely to seek help, but that's a secondary rabbit-hole.
/r/ExRedPill24/03/20 07:25 PM
11

The good things are the distractions to inject violently bigoted cult ideologies. White supremacists have literally said they do this to condition the environment and radicalize new recruits. They cannot feel good about themselves without putting other people down. They aren't crazy, though; lots of crazy people don't hurt others like these assholes do.
/r/ExRedPill24/03/20 07:24 PM
1

Loving yourself can be really fucking hard, dude. Have you tried talking to a therapist? That depression you're under sounds fucking rough.
/r/ExRedPill05/01/20 07:14 AM
1

You clearly do not understand how "criticism" masks hurtful systemic misogyny, and you aren't going to have success with women if you are not willing to listen to what they say about their experiences. As a white man, I wouldn't be dismissive of your experiences regarding race, right? I'd be a racist dick if I were, or I tried to argue that civil rights was "just an ideology." To put it bluntly: If I said "black rights are not safe from criticism", what would that mean to you? Would you feel saf…
/r/ExRedPill05/01/20 07:09 AM
1

Are you high?
/r/ExRedPill05/01/20 06:54 AM
3

It's important to understand the difference between assertiveness and aggression, just like it's important to understand the difference between "interesting" and "bad boy." These things are not the same. People, including women, don't often learn this until after they've been hurt by some selfish ass-cannon. Be sure to understand your own perspective bias here too. "The women you know" might be going for partners who aren't good for them, or you might be giving those specific people more weight …
/r/ExRedPill01/01/20 12:36 AM
7

it's a cult. it functions on the belief that women are lesser than men, which is an act of faith. people are not rational creatures. they rationalize whatever makes them feel strong, powerful, and safe, until they actually learn the empathy required to fight back against the ingrained beliefs of our bigoted system. Redpill in particular is very, very predatory. and yeah, a significant part of that bullshit is just one big appeal to biology fallacy. no, they shouldn't be dating other people.
/r/ExRedPill30/12/19 01:43 AM
2

For reference, I'm a man. I've been dating women, quite successfully, for the last... 22 years or so. Do be aware that you shitting on feminism is perceived as you putting women down... because you are.That's how passive misogyny and systemic bigotry works. Don't bother constructing straw arguments; I've heard them already. If what I said doesn't make sense, then you need to do some serious introspection to understand why, then try listening with an open mind. It's not actually complex. Be someo…
/r/ExRedPill30/12/19 01:20 AM
1

For one, it depends on who you talk to (because women are human beings and will give different answers), but that's to be expected. If you respect someone, you listen to what they say and value their perspectives. Right? Seems obvious. Why would a woman want to date someone who doesn't respect them? That too should be obvious... assuming actually view women as active agents with their own decision-making abilities instead of just rationalizing biased stereotypes. Therefore, take the time to actu…
/r/ExRedPill30/12/19 01:12 AM
1

I am aware how low the bar is.
/r/ExRedPill30/12/19 01:02 AM
6

Social skills are skills and they take work, effort, and practice to get right. The first thing you need to do is stop trashing other people to make yourself feel better. Start trying to look at it from their actual perspective, and to do that you'll need to actually listen to women and respect their decisions.
/r/ExRedPill30/12/19 12:12 AM
7

Not with that attitude! You should probably talk to a therapist.
/r/ExRedPill30/12/19 12:10 AM
7

TRP is a self-centered misogyny cult. The core tenets of faith is that women are lesser, and that it is acceptable to push others down in order to lift yourself up. White supremacy is no different, nor is any other form of bigotry. These dangerous ideologies hinge upon the intentional causation of suffering.
/r/ExRedPill25/12/19 12:07 AM
15

Dating isn't negatively biased against men. It's biased against mediocre men. It's outright confrontational toward misogynists, even those who don't see themselves as such. Have more to offer than the average man. Be someone others want around (and no, this doesn't mean focus on your physique or money- charisma is a practiced skill). Actively reject toxic beliefs and ideals. Recognize how bigotry (racism, misogyny, etc) are precursors to manipulation and abuse. Understand what red flags are and …
/r/ExRedPill24/12/19 11:58 PM
1

Communicate with her like a responsible adult. Talk about the issues constructively, as best you can, in a way that doesn't come off as accusatory. If it doesn't work out, that's ok. Just because a relationship ends doesn't mean it, or you, failed. Either way, do your best to process your feelings in a healthy and positive manner.
/r/ExRedPill19/12/19 08:37 PM
3

He's a stepping stone on the road toward better, healthier, and more effective life philosophies, from ones that were manipulative and dishonest. In other words, don't stop there.
/r/ExRedPill30/11/19 06:45 PM
3

Feel free to soapbox, bro. I hate dealing with those combative colostomy bags too. They don't want help, they just want to fight. It's abusive, boorish, and not worth a moldy potato. Deep down, people like this do know what they're doing, and they do this shit intentionally. They push others down to make themselves feel powerful, which is the whole crux of redpill bullshit. I ain't got time for that nonsense.
/r/ExRedPill04/10/19 01:08 AM
4

Don't feed the troll, dude. He's just here to argue and masturbate. You don't owe this malicious fool a damn thing.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 11:51 PM
2

This is a reddit post, kid. Don't expect a novel. Your lack of understanding does not imply a lack of value. It only means you are a fool. I'm not going to waste any more of my time and I don't have a god damned thing to prove to some anonymous and belligerent fuckstick. Go masturbate elsewhere. Die alone. Slowly.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 11:50 PM
9

1: You get inner strength, confidence, and a way out. 2: The timeframe is different for everyone because everyone has a different starting point, different challenges, different abilities, different resources, and so on. That's how continuous progress works, so don't expect immediate results. 3: This depends on you. See point 2. The only guarantee is that if you continue doing what you've been doing, you'll only get more of the same. If you're not happy with that, then you change and grow until …
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 12:47 AM
13

Investigate cult tactics and emotional manipulation. Groups like that are rife with abusive groupthink bullshit.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 12:43 AM
2

That shit's tough but you can do the thing! Shine on, you brilliant star!
/r/ExRedPill03/10/19 12:41 AM
2

No. TRP is a misogyny cult and your feelings do not matter.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/19 03:46 AM
2

If you're defending them, you're defending their ideas. Period. Passive bigotry is still bigotry.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/19 03:45 AM
3

Fuck 'em. If you think of discussion and discourse as a potluck where everyone brings their best to the table, and then some belligerent idiot shits on the table, do you tolerate him or do you throw him the fuck out? You throw him the fuck out. Feel free to do a google search for the paradox of tolerance before defending bigots and abusers. Those bastards don't need your help. PROTIP: there are restrictions on freedom of speech.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/19 03:43 AM
1

this should have happened years ago. that place is a venomous cult. Take those things you regret and burn them. Throw them into the forge and use them as fuel to make yourself stronger. Do not dwell on the shame - understand why you did those things, recognize the patterns and the motivations, and then make sure you never do them again. Remember, all you have to do is be better than you were in the past. On a side note: read about the tactics of emotional abusers, so you have specific language t…
/r/ExRedPill02/10/19 03:40 AM
3

That person needs therapy and far more positive life experiences.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/19 03:35 AM
3

Start comparing TRP tactics with emotional abuse, and use that specific language when doing so. The parallels are immediately obvious.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/19 03:21 AM
4

I'm glad to hear you're getting a better handle on the illness. I hope things continue to improve!
/r/ExRedPill02/10/19 03:20 AM
2

just get consent first.
/r/ExRedPill02/10/19 03:12 AM
5

It can be narcissistic and abstract at the same time, you know. What it isn't is rational - it's rationalized instead.
/r/ExRedPill15/09/19 09:34 PM
1

you couldn't be more wrong. Do not fall for superficial answers.
/r/ExRedPill30/08/19 05:04 AM
1

Mental health and a lack of positive reinforcement is a deadly combo, my dude. That can be super hard to work with. If you have animosity and distrust toward women, well... you SHOULD work on those things because they're not healthy and they're holding you back from your joy and success in life. Do it for yourself too, because empathy and kindness are significantly better traits for healthy human beings. Can you really blame others for not wanting to be around someone who dislikes and distrusts …
/r/ExRedPill19/08/19 12:23 AM
14

You're in a negative reinforcement cycle here, and you're not going to win at this pattern. Increase your social skills. Be someone others want around. There are women who want relationships, women who just want casual sex, some who want both, and some who want neither. If you denigrate women or treat them disrespectfully, none of them will want to be around you and you'll just shoot yourself in the foot. It's highly likely that you're giving off red flags without realizing it. Everyone does, at…
/r/ExRedPill12/08/19 11:41 PM
1

Maybe? Probably? I don't know if I can give you the specifics you want because there are too many variables in play. Don't assume the love they received from their family was healthy or supportive, or assume they have healthy examples to emulate, or are actually taught how to be in a healthy and respectful relationship. Given how they treat women, the answer is probably that they lack those stabilizing and positive factors in their lives.
/r/ExRedPill11/08/19 06:24 PM
2

Me? I'm a 40-year-old chunky dad bod kind of guy... with a wife, a girlfriend, and three fwb's. Yeah they all know, we're poly, it's cool, etc. etc. The most important traits I've found are supportive charisma, empathy, and kindness. To sum it up, be someone others want around.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/19 03:05 AM
1

Lots of people do. Confronting observation bias is hard, but worth it. Try this instead - assume everyone is doing the best they can. This includes you, so don't put yourself down either. Understand that everyone has their own criteria for partners, and those are likely different than yours. If you respect them, you respect their decisions. Understand Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/19 03:01 AM
6

It's more like these guys don't actually know what love is, let alone know how to express it in a healthy and constructive manner. They're just chasing an endorphin high.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/19 02:35 AM
4

It's a recipe for breakup, heartache, and suffering.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/19 02:34 AM
5

The first step in not pursuing shallow partners is to not be shallow yourself.
/r/ExRedPill03/08/19 02:02 AM
11

Find women who like skinny dudes and present yourself well. Don't sell yourself short over something superficial.
/r/ExRedPill03/08/19 02:01 AM
2

While there certainly are shallow women out there, most... aren't. They're allowed to have their own motivations and reasons. Being fit will certainly help, but it's not your face, or your muscles, that really does it. It's your personality and who you are as a person that matters. Charisma is a skill just like everything else, and it improves with practice. Good mental health is a skill that takes practice sometimes too, and part of that is a healthy self-image. Hit the gym, but do that for you…
/r/ExRedPill03/08/19 02:00 AM
1

Good luck, dude. Trust that you can do it, be patient with yourself, forgive yourself when you make mistakes, learn from others whose experiences are different, and just... keep moving forward.
/r/ExRedPill15/07/19 11:30 PM
2

Jesus isn't the issue. It's the self-centered assholes who hurt others under a pretense of righteousness that's the issue. As stated above, don't fall for false dichotomies. This parable of yours is absolute garbage and based on a whole lot of ridiculous and dangerous false assumptions that demonize and dehumanize women.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/19 01:45 PM
4

Redirect it into simply wanting what's best for them and wishing them happiness. It's just another skill involved with being an emotionally mature adult.
/r/ExRedPill12/07/19 10:38 PM
1

Here's a few things to consider: You are conscious, rational adult, who's responsible for your own actions. Your emotions and feelings can inform your actions, but they do not get to make decisions for you. You're not some animal - you have words and language and rational thought and at least some self control. Just because you have feelings doesn't mean you can or should act on them. Don't get led around by your peen feelz. If you don't know how to do this, research it. Mental health and emotio…
/r/ExRedPill12/07/19 10:36 PM
1

I know it sounds like a flippant response, but I'm serious. Do some actual investigation, with empathy, compassion, and actual well-informed information that challenges your status quo. Really investigate, with an open mind, about the criticisms leveled against that mindset. Listen to the reasoning, understand the logic, research the comparisons with emotional manipulation, abuse, and cults; listen to the experiences of the victims and those harmed by perpetuators of that (and other related) beh…
/r/ExRedPill12/07/19 10:23 PM
4

Your logic isn't even specious, it's downright disingenuous. Don't play false equivalence games, kid.
/r/ExRedPill11/07/19 11:10 PM
3

Well for one, they're dating other TRPers. I"m guessing a significant portion of those women would be happy in a BDSM power exchange, where they can get their submissive kicks without the disrespect or worry about being abandoned when they hit "the wall" (or whatever such nonsense those guys believe), but that's a tangent topic. Feel free to compare the TRP main posters vs the mini-subs you found. Compare their experiences. There's also observation bias going on, dude. Specifically, yours. There…
/r/ExRedPill11/07/19 11:09 PM
1

It's a cult. Those belligerent idiots need to just drink their arsenic already and go away.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/19 11:24 PM
12

Confirmation bias is a hell of a drug.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/19 02:56 AM
1

There is seriously something wrong with you, but it's clear you lack the basic awareness to understand, or even ask why. No amount of rationalization will make your problems better. ​ Don't bother replying.
/r/ExRedPill19/06/19 06:36 PM
4

Don't project like that, and frankly... unless you're talking about teenagers, you're so far from right you're not even wrong. Just... stop talking.
/r/ExRedPill16/06/19 09:23 PM
3

Dating is a facet of social interaction and theme-specific networking. Like all skills, networking and social skills improve with practice. If you sit on your ass in front of a computer, you won't improve.
/r/ExRedPill20/05/19 01:04 AM
0

IUDs are far better.
/r/ExRedPill29/04/19 03:04 AM
1

Yeah... don't fuck her. Hell, you should just flat out avoid her.
/r/ExRedPill29/04/19 03:04 AM
2

There's a difference between maintaining contact and smothering. It's a subjective line, but you have to know where it is and it's different with each person. Sometimes if you over-communicate, you can give off red flags and signals for poor mental health. Yes that sucks, but it is what it is. Learn to communicate in a healthy manner, and learn to communicate about communicating. Building a relationship isn't about living in uncertainty, it's about building certainty, stability, trust, and love,…
/r/ExRedPill29/04/19 02:56 AM
1

I'm coming back to this post... It's also ok to be fragile sometimes. That's just a part of life and it doesn't make you lesser. Personally? I'm a delicate fucking flower pretty often, and for good or ill I wear my feelings on my sleeve. Sometimes ya definitely have to muscle up and Do The Thing, but it's also ok to just... not be ok. Acceptance is important. Difficult times and mental states like that are prime opportunities for personal growth. Steel isn't forged without fire or getting the sh…
/r/ExRedPill26/04/19 01:28 AM
1

I"m glad you like it and I hope it helps.
/r/ExRedPill26/04/19 01:23 AM
2

If you need abundance to feel secure, you'll never feel secure. You only need "enough." What that actually means is up to you. You don't gotta win 'em all, you know. If you're always ending with this result, then you're likely doing something else wrong, you just can't perceive what that is. This isn't surprising; functional self-awareness a difficult skill to master. You're likely communicating something negative unintentionally. Everyone's feelings are valid, but there are caveats. Those feeli…
/r/ExRedPill15/04/19 08:31 PM
17

Don't just be nice. Be kind. Even in the face of adversity, even when it hurts, because you deserve that. Whether she has a boyfriend already is irrelevant. If you respect her, you respect her decisions. Either you trust her... or you don't. You're allowed to feel dejected. Your feelings are important. BUT You have to handle it in a mature manner. You can be upset at the situation without directing the anger at her. Process those feelings in a healthy and constructive manner, then get them out o…
/r/ExRedPill15/04/19 02:43 AM
9

They invite you to parties, which means they want you around. They are literally making space in their lives for you, and that's a damn important thing. People add things to the lives of others in many different ways. It doesn't have to be hard tangible needs, as you stated, but there's always some form of give and take involved with any relationship, including friendships. Women don't reach out to men as much because men mistake that friendship and emotional closeness for attraction, which can …
/r/ExRedPill14/04/19 06:40 PM
6

Recognize these feelings as intrusive thoughts and treat them accordingly. Lead yourself away from it calmly, as if you were gently correcting a puppy. "No brain, we know that is not true. Think of [this thing] instead." Another method is the Spock method. Imagine Spock counseling you. "That is illogical, Captain. Your friends care about you, and if they were upset about something, they would tell you so it could be resolved." Perhaps they ask you to do things because they consider you reliable …
/r/ExRedPill14/04/19 06:33 PM
3

You're not a conspiracy theorist. You're allowed to have standards, especially regarding respect. Having standards and insisting upon respect does not make you egotistical or crazy, so do not paint yourself with a destructive brush. You can certainly question if your standards are reasonable and fair, but don't use that to instill self-doubt. You are dealing with a manipulative abuser. One who profits from harming you. You cannot change him. Don't play their games. Don't tolerate the bullshit. Y…
/r/ExRedPill13/04/19 07:33 PM
2

The best thing you can do is turn these life events into learning experiences. Think of 'em as inoculations against future sorrow. It's good that you have the self-reflection and perspective to understand. That's kinda rare.
/r/ExRedPill08/04/19 11:42 PM
1

I learned it the hard way.
/r/ExRedPill08/04/19 11:39 PM
15

It's easy to look back into history and find white men, considering white men recorded that history... while walking on the backs of all others. Make a list on a gdoc of influential women in history, from Semiramis on up. Bonus points if they're wiki links. Copy and paste it as necessary. But remember, their arguments are not logical in nature, but deeply emotional and heavily rationalized. They most likely won't listen. Here's a link example if you need it. Most of the women are not famous. htt…
/r/ExRedPill01/04/19 06:00 PM
14

Everyone has to put in effort for a relationship to work. Everyone needs to be able to communicate clearly and constructively. Everyone needs reasonable standards and expectations, and everyone needs to work together. This requires effort, work, and most importantly, personal growth. Sometimes you give, sometimes you take, and not all roles in the relationship need be equal, but either way, you do it with your partner(s), not simply to them. What that specifically looks like is up to you and you…
/r/ExRedPill27/03/19 05:49 PM
6

positive reinforcement almost always works better than negative reinforcement.
/r/ExRedPill27/03/19 03:57 AM
12

No. In a good relationship, drama is something you and your partner overcome together. Not something you stir up because you're bored. Purposefully include creativity and excitement, not uncertainty and drama.
/r/ExRedPill27/03/19 03:55 AM
28

Manipulative bullshit like that is inherently disrespectful. Just because you like someone doesn't obligate them to like you back. Could you have gone too fast and laid it on thicker than she actually wanted? Probably - it happens. All you can do is take her word for it, and trust that she's being honest. Sometimes you can do everything right and still not succeed. That's just a part of life. If kindness and affection hadn't kept her, making her chase you through manipulation really won't work. …
/r/ExRedPill27/03/19 03:54 AM
11

Stop carrying the doubts, fears, and worries of other people. Think of it as an infection. Trust that you've got a lot to offer someone, and that your best will improve. Trust that your partner is doing the best she can do too. Cut out all the other negativity. No more redpill BS. Do you trust her or a bunch of random strangers? "This issue" is likely a trigger issue for some deeper fear, like a fear of abandonment. Find the root cause. Learn to emotionally communicate and resolve problems in a …
/r/ExRedPill26/03/19 03:54 AM
4

Vulnerability is always different on the surface, but things like 'fear of abandonment' and 'I would be hurt if you left' are within the range of normal (though the first one is more complex and likely stems from other roots). I'm 40. I've had depression, anxiety, and other similar mental health issues, I've been fired from too many jobs, there've been crying breakdowns in the shower, couples counseling, divorce, and far too many other examples to list, but that doesn't matter. You're a team, an…
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 03:24 PM
4

Sounds like you're afraid of her leaving you, so you're pre-emptively pulling away? Trust yourself, trust her. One can have neither love nor trust without actual vulnerability. If she leaves because you have feelings? Then she's not the right person for you. Everyone has feelings, and yours as just as valid as anyone else's. I've had my share of breakups, but never from this. Things like this make relationships stronger. What I would suggest is finding ways to communicate your feelings more effe…
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 02:48 PM
6

Why? She doesn't have to explain herself or defend herself. Either you take her at her word or you don't. You could also try asking politely.
/r/ExRedPill06/03/19 03:50 AM
4

I think you need to do some research on what emotional manipulation and abuse are, what they look like, and what they do to people.
/r/ExRedPill06/03/19 03:48 AM
4

PUA and other related 'philosophies' are super manipulative and very toxic. Hopefully that dude gets his head out of his butt soon.
/r/ExRedPill06/03/19 03:47 AM
2

Using autism as a crutch is a bigger red flag. Take responsibility, don't just make excuses. Ya gotta work with what you've got. It just means you have to put in more effort to understand how you are communicating with others non-verbally. Not gonna tell ya it's easy, but do consider that some women have autism too, and that others are in fact understanding. I know a handful of autistic dudes who're happily dating or married, so don't give up.
/r/ExRedPill04/03/19 06:40 PM
12

And utterly lacking in self-awareness.
/r/ExRedPill04/03/19 01:34 AM
4

If you're doing all that, then yeah it's a personality issue. You're either A) not interesting or B) triggering their defense reactions by exhibiting red flags. To be honest, it's probably both. If you think women are out to use you, or only there for attention... frankly, women can smell that attitude on a man and you need to drop it. If you don't go into a date from a position of good faith, you're going to shoot yourself in the foot. Looks get you the first date, but charm, charisma, and pers…
/r/ExRedPill04/03/19 01:32 AM
6

That's not true at all. Looks help, but it's only one link in the chain. The fact that you got a hundred dates in the last year means you're not ugly, but seriously... you gotta have more to offer. ​ Given your other replies, I sincerely suggest you get psychiatric help.
/r/ExRedPill04/03/19 01:27 AM
8

That is absolutely not true at all. Don't lie to yourself.
/r/ExRedPill04/03/19 01:26 AM
2

High five! I wouldn't suggest doing that with someone you didn't inately trust either, because that's more likely to just be abuse.
/r/ExRedPill02/03/19 08:32 PM
3

I don't know why RPM can't ever get their heads around the fact that I wouldn't date someone with a high n-count They see you as a lesser, weaker, passive person whose roll is to defer first and have opinions second. As such, your opinions and perspectives are given less weight. It's standard sexist objectification. Of course they don't understand.
/r/ExRedPill01/03/19 11:29 PM
3

They also want inexperienced partners (aka virgins) because they're less likely to stand for themselves or fight back against their manipulative, predatory bullshit.
/r/ExRedPill01/03/19 11:25 PM
2

They don't even recognize how putting someone on a pedestal is a form of exoticist race-fetishism. It's disgusting.
/r/ExRedPill01/03/19 11:23 PM
2

They want a Karen Who'll Speak To The Manager.
/r/ExRedPill01/03/19 11:21 PM
2

Marital rape was also legal then, as was spousal abuse. "Traditional relationship" heirarchic power structures can be found in BDSM, assuming you find a good partner, without the otherwise ingrained disrespect or lack of basic safety. ​
/r/ExRedPill01/03/19 11:02 PM
15

They want to regain social power the old fashioned way - by taking it away from others. They are selfish, active belligerents.
/r/ExRedPill01/03/19 10:59 PM
4

People in general see proof for what they want to believe to be true and routinely refuse to look past that... but the perception of the truth is not the truth itself. Cult ideologies are especially terrible about this, and TRP is no exception.
/r/ExRedPill24/02/19 06:57 PM
7

Most of the assumed "biological realities" are just appeal to biology/nature fallacies. People in general have certain predilections and 'taste' in partners, but we cannot use that to completely discount individual choice, free will, or a whole slew of other factors. To do so is a falsely narrow view and far too simplilstic a paradigm for such a complex topic. It can only create false answers. On top of that, toxic ideologies like TRP or MTGOW do not credit women with the personal agency necessa…
/r/ExRedPill24/02/19 06:54 PM
1

Save the cheap deflections. It mean exactly that. Develop better tools and tactics for constructive and communication. Don't expect me to compress EVERYTHING into a single fucking reddit tweet, especially for someone who I know won't appreciate the work, let alone understand the benefits. These aren't hard concepts, and your refusals are your own burden. Here, you can start with a basic google search. I'm serious. Google "relationship communication tactics" and start there. > Women didn't care t…
/r/ExRedPill20/02/19 09:31 PM
1

I've been dating for 20 years, and divorced. Lots of people have hurt me, and I hurt myself most of all. But that doesn't matter. Your deflections don't matter. You personally need therapy because your entire worldview is warped past the point of even seeing how it's warped - which is exactly how cult mentalities affect people. If you accept that TRP describes women accurately, then you're still drinking the kool aid. I'd say it's sad, but you're still wallowing in it. I'd suggest you research c…
/r/ExRedPill20/02/19 09:17 PM
1

Then find someone who shares your Smash Mouth interests, or at least doesn't see it as a negative. That sounds cliche, but it's true. People are allowed to have their own preferences and hangups. If your personal interests aren't super common or easily shareable, like a preference for Nickelback or a Warhammer 40k addiction, that will make dating harder, but you know what... fuck it. Would you want to be with someone who thinks those quirks are negatives*? No, you really wouldn't. It's ok to be …
/r/ExRedPill18/02/19 07:30 PM
3

What do you do? You learn, improve, and grow as a person. Social skills are skills. Confidence is a skill. These improve with practice and effort. Trust that everyone is doing the best they can with what they've got to work with. this includes you, and women, and everyone else. If you view women negatively, it will affect how you act toward them. They'll notice and they'll avoid you. Cultivate positivity, respect, and earnest trust. Look out for the best interests of others and yourself. Look fo…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/19 07:21 PM
0

Suggesting that men must control and restrain women because they're inherently narcissistic is disrespectful misogynist bullshit. That was from reluctantly_red's post I was directly replying to. If you cannot see how that is disrespectful and misogynist, then you need to actually try. It's literally self-evident in the statement. I cannot overcome your cognitive dissonance for you. But let's move on. > I'm way more comfortable when [women] are [evil or narcissistic]. Oh buddy, that's a doozy. Le…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/19 06:50 PM
0

Modeling relationship ethics after an pseudo-scientific, unrepeatable, and incredibly violent "study" isn't only bad science, it's the equivalent of the anti-vax movement for relationships. It's the justification of abuse.
/r/ExRedPill18/02/19 06:33 PM
0

> Very easy to say -- much harder to actually do. No it isn't. I've been dating for 20 years (while married, even. Yes it's all above board). I've never had this problem. Having difficulties isn't the same as abusive and you know it. I'm serious. Remember, the only consistent factor in your experiences... is you. You need therapy. Recognize the actual tools and tactics of abuse, in yourself and others. 1: avoid those people 2: avoid doing those things to people 3: develop better tools and commun…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/19 06:29 PM
3

You say you find that community shameful, but take a look in the fucking mirror, kid. Your behavior is downright shameful too. Don't be an asshole. Try this: instead of arguing and attacking, try just fucking listening. You might actually learn something.
/r/ExRedPill18/02/19 06:09 PM
6

She's not screaming at all dudes that they are TRP. Don't set up straw arguments. She's pointing at this abusive shitbag, who is exhibiting TRP-esque behavior... by being an abusive and controlling shitbag. I'm not going to cry if she lumps both sets into the same basket. Whether you can recognize the commonalities or not is your issue. And for the love of fuck, don't paint the abusive and controlling bullshit she's dealt with as somehow her fault because she's "attracting weird stuff." Every wo…
/r/ExRedPill18/02/19 06:04 PM
2

First, you're assuming what women are attracted to based on shallow stereotypes. Second, that's a willful misdirection and leading question, and you're doing it intentionally. Go do actual research on what emotional abuse and manipulation look like. Find the answer yourself.
/r/ExRedPill18/02/19 05:59 PM
1

Viewing someone else as a normal person doesn't mean putting them on a pedestal, dude. Don't make false dichotomies or straw arguments to shoot down. How about this - don't date abusive women. Don't put yourself in that position in the first place and find partners who are good and healthy for you. If you imagine "all women" are abusive or narcissistic, understand that this is straight-up unfiltered misogyny and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you get your head out of your ass. There's no "…
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 11:32 PM
9

I have read through it, and clearly have done so with a keener eye than you. I've seen how they treat people, I've seen how they treat me. They're belligerent fools, and yes you're defending them. They probably are also psychologically unstable and abusive... but TRP itself is aggressive, abusive, and misogynist. Those traits - along with anger - have always been the foundational attitudes of that cult mentality. No amount of denial on your part changes this.
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 11:28 PM
1

Do I seriously have to explain to you how imagining women inherently are narcissistic or evil is fundamentally flawed? Come on. I'm sorry you've had bad experiences but that position isn't realistic at all - it's just your perspective, rationalized. Rationalizing isn't a good thing, dude. You're just reinforcing your pre-determined decisions with false logic, bad faith assumptions, and bigoted stereotypes. I don't think you understand the toxicity that is laced throughout redpill, how those prob…
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 11:24 PM
0

You get that the Stanford Prison Experiment was done with low-twenties male college students, right? You get how that creates a certain level of bias in the results, and that we should keep that in mind when using it to understand the behaviors of larger human populations? Perhaps you should not base your assumptions on that, ok? You act like "ordinary women" are a bad thing. These are "ordinary men" too. Most of us are ordinary - that's how population distribution bell curves work. Neither are …
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 07:13 PM
2

Sometimes though... it is. It takes two people to make it work, but only one person to tank it. The sad truth is that much of the time, that person is ourselves. But... by taking responsibility for our mistakes and learning from them, we can commit to not repeating them in the future. Can't do that if you're always blaming others.
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 07:00 PM
2

That's a matter of observation and experience... which is usually obtained from being abused (sadly). Thanks to the internet, there are a whole lot of resources for one to learn what abuse is, what it looks like, and what it does to people in advance now - resources previous generations did not have. I sincerely suggest everyone look at those and learn them as best they can, so they can label the bad behaviors for what they are, create handles for difficult situations, and avoid the abusers soon…
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 06:58 PM
6

Every philosophy encourages people to cultivate themselves. That does not make TRP special at all, and it does not justify the venom.
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 06:55 PM
6

No one should be looking toward Cosmo for advice. Teen Vogue is far better.
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 06:53 PM
4

I'd love to help them out of their self-dug hole too, but they've gotta want that guidance first, and be open to new approaches.
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 06:53 PM
10

They aren't wrong. TRP is at it's heart disrespectful and abusive toward women. Same with PUA 'culture' - they both view women as lesser. Don't make excuses for or defend abusive manipulators.
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 06:52 PM
2

A fantastic amount of the belligerent actions in the world are due to people not taking responsibility for their own actions. Assuming they can even see what they're doing wrong. Most folks lack perspective, basic levels of critical thought, observation, and fundamental respect for others, especially whom they perceive as different. This goes double for men because we're not taught or conditioned by society to exhibit the same level of self-awareness that women are forced to maintain. Add that t…
/r/ExRedPill17/02/19 06:48 PM
1

You truly have no idea what you're talking about and you lack the perspective to understand human motivations. As stated on the other reply, "True Red Pill" is a base No True Scotsman fallacy. It's utterly foolish, so don't do that. Did I say 'hate?" No I did not. By this point you can at least trust that I'm going to say in no unspecific terms what I mean, right? If I'd wanted to say "hate" I would have. I know you're trying really hard to understand what I'm saying, but you're going in the wro…
/r/ExRedPill09/02/19 06:30 PM
5

Those traits were the only things you listed. You don't need to write a ten page paper to communicate more clearly. You still haven't stated that individuals have different priorities, you're just doubling down on your beliefs. Don't set unrealistic standards and then throw your hands up in mock defeat either. That's a base logic fallacy and a manipulation tactic. Stop assuming your rationalizations are universal motivators, or that everyone is as shallow as you. We've already had this conversat…
/r/ExRedPill09/02/19 06:15 PM
4

Do your own research on the impacts this has on others before you go straight for ignorant denial. If you don't understand a term, look it up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hegemonic_masculinity#Toxic_masculinity You're right, there's nothing wrong with attraction, it is part of us, but it's not wholly determined by biology and everyone as agents of free will get to determine what that means. Don't rely on appeals to biology fallacies. Don't reply on your assumptions of attraction to define what…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/19 09:42 PM
2

Shitting on yourself as a motivator is not different than pushing others down to lift yourself up. It creates energy, adrenaline, and dopamine, because (I feel) it triggers our "fight or flight" chemical response, but it's short-lived. It also isn't sustainable - there's a crash and you'll feel worse afterward. What's worse is that our brains create shortcuts and grooves to function faster, and using self-destruction as a quick path toward feeling good hurts more in the long run because it's inc…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/19 09:37 PM
1

Yeah I did. It's probably messy and needs expounding, but I've been processing this stuff for a while so it flows pretty quickly (even though there's still a LOT to unpack in all that). Hopefully it helps people learn from my mistakes. Mental health can be a real motherfucker, and it affects EVERYTHING we do. It's extremely important to kick the bad habits and build good habits sooner than later. Healthy behaviors are learned skills, just like everything else. It's rarely easy, but it's absolute…
/r/ExRedPill08/02/19 09:30 PM
13

Mental health is a real motherfucker. Insecurity, anxiety, depression, etc can all be weighty, weighty bastards. Remember that blackpill and other related places are not rational, they're rationalized. They're specifically cherry-picking data to fit their toxic worldviews, not informing their worldviews with data. This creates dangerous cycle of self-destruction, especially for the vulnerable... which is the point. Those groups function like cults. You're not a fragile bitch. Stop that right now…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/19 10:40 PM
2

“Never put a woman on a pedestal” Redpill never investigates the nitty-gritty details of this - they leave it as a half-formed trope, assuming it is self-evident, because they typically are not capable of deeper intellectual or emotional analysis. There's no discussion of how or why, what the female perspective of the topic is, what it actually means, or anything else. It is a statement devoid of context and meaning. In the toxic and misogynist context of Redpill, the functionally important mean…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/19 10:14 PM
3

Cult ideologies always have a few kernels of truth. It's the bait they use to lure gullible suckers, and the suckers hyperfocus on those few chocolate chips to avoid recognizing that they're eating mounds of baked shit until it's too late. Redpill is not different. As I stated elsewhere - the bullshit is rationalized, not rational - it's a set of beliefs not actually rooted in fact or truth, but what the cultist wants to be true. There's a huge difference, and you don't notice until you've stopp…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/19 10:08 PM
3

You're 19, I'm 40. I've literally been dating for longer than you've been alive. You're unfailingly holding on to a juvenile, toxic, and self-destructive understanding of how the world and relationships work, and you - in your teenage arrogance - insist on arguing and proselytizing in a decidedly anti-redpill space. What the fuck did you expect would happen? If you want answers, you first have to let go of the shit that's holding you back. ALL of it. I'm serious. dig out all the toxic bullshit a…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/19 10:00 PM
5

I didn't call you an incel either. You did. Own your shit. My name isn't Janice. Don't throw out casual sexism, and don't make your own half-assed assumptions and accusations after accusing me of doing such. It makes you a hypocrite and stinks of tu quoque fallacies. No one is butthurt, and nothing about this is illogical. You lack the capability to process. ​ Your assumptions of what constitutes "hot" and "ugly" are shallow, biased, and ultimately false. "High quality women" as you put it can s…
/r/ExRedPill07/02/19 04:58 PM
3

I'm not contradicting myself at all, and you are here to argue. You're willfully not listening. Your failure to understand is a mental and moral deficiency. You need remedial ethics lessons, kid.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/19 04:27 PM
4

Which part are you having trouble with? Redpill looks for a reason why these men suffer and cannot find loving partners, but it shifts blame away from personal responsibility, shifts the blame for their suffering onto women, ignores cultural contexts, promotes only the basest of standards and motivations, utilizes half-truths and blatant falsehoods to justify malicious behavior, does not allow for women to possess agency, does not allow *men* agency, employs emotional manipulation and abuse tact…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/19 10:38 PM
3

It is absolutely rooted in misogyny. The entire premise of redpill is that women are lesser, and it only goes downhill from there.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/19 10:24 PM
4

You have no idea what women want, do you? Have you ever actually talked to women about any of this - notably women who're actually informed on the subject or understand statistics? Hell, have you ever actually had successful relationships? So you're discounting 90% of women based on their looks alone? How fucking shallow are you? You must be terribly lonely. It's not centuries of misogyny, it's millennia. Women have been held, sold, stolen, and used as sex objects or as breeding chattel for damn…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/19 10:22 PM
9

Yes you did. Constantly.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/19 03:39 PM
3

It isn't.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/19 03:38 PM
5

Your assumptions on what is ideal are your personal beliefs, not universal ideals, which are rooted in basic gender constructs built on generations of systemic misogyny. They are wholly and fundamentally shallow. Your assumptions of fact are parroted tropes, outdated and irrelevant tropes at that, and I sincerely doubt you lack the experience, perspective, or education to understand. Dial it back, open yourself to the possibilities of alternate perspectives, learn how humans actually make decisi…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/19 03:36 PM
9

Redpill was never rational; it's rationalizing, which is different. The appeals to biology are basic logical fallacies. The premises are flawed. It was always rooted in misogyny (even the name itself points to this), and it's gotten worse as the ideology has evolved. In a good and healthy relationship, both partners view each other as prizes, and eveyrone involved works toward the betterment of themselves, each other, and the relationship unit as a whole (because those are all slightly different…
/r/ExRedPill06/02/19 03:28 PM
2

There are far, far better resources available - ones that aren't loaded with toxic and abusive misogyny. The self-improvement stuff is just the pretense toward a moral high ground - every cult has that. People do need TP awareness so they can avoid anyone who presents those behaviors.
/r/ExRedPill06/02/19 03:24 PM
2

Bipolar won't stop you. Think of it this way - you've got a highly dynamic emotional range with a sensitive alarm trigger. It is what it is, and while it'll make things tougher at first, it can be managed. It's not easy and I'm not going to tell you it is, but you can do it. I've gotten well enough along. Confidence is just accurately recognizing your personal abilities and skills (as opposed to arrogance, which is inaccurately recognition). The "secret" to confidence, if it can be called that, …
/r/ExRedPill04/02/19 05:05 PM
3

I'd really suggest you speak to a therapist. These issues can be supremely hard, especially when you're dealing with identity disorders and crippling depression. Please don't self-medicate with drugs, alcohol, porn, or hatred. Keep this in mind: confidence is a skill and it takes practice to do it right. Everything is a skill. Sure some are naturally better at it than others, but that doesn't matter. Social skills, like charm and flirting, are also skills you can practice. It's also ok to not be…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/19 11:39 PM
25

The problem with this entire concept is it becomes an appeal to nature/science fallacy, completely reducing women's personal agency, or even allowing them the ability to make their own decisions. It is, inherently, misogynist, disrespectful, and abusive. It is a poisoned tree. Propping up assumptions and opinions as truths does not help matters. Presenting those assumptions as gendered and universal is fundamentally dishonest, especially when you're claiming "ScienceTM" without citing anything. …
/r/ExRedPill02/01/19 03:26 AM
10

Lots of people lie about themselves, and to themselves. It's wholly common, especially on subs like that because it's just ego projection. Even if they are successful? Good for them. Let's hope they're not hurting anyone in the process (which, frankly, TRP does). Don't let other people make you feel bad about yourself, especially when they're putting you down. Fuck 'em.
/r/ExRedPill30/12/18 04:17 AM
7

Abuse and manipulation do work in the short term, but at what cost?
/r/ExRedPill30/12/18 04:11 AM
6

But you got out, and that's what's important. Don't hold on to the guilt. Use it as fuel and make yourself better.
/r/ExRedPill30/12/18 04:01 AM
1

Consider this approach to Matthew 18:9- https://i.redd.it/1zu6amwhp0721.jpg
/r/ExRedPill29/12/18 06:07 AM
1

Of course you were taught that, but Patriarchal Society = God Himself is blasphemy, used as a means of control by those in power. Note precisely who says "Obeying Me/Us Equals Obeying God" and note what sort of extra-biblical shit is added in. The Church Is Not God, any more than a house is not a home. Jesus himself taught respect, love, and kindness. Oppressive systems thrive by pushing others down, profiting from the suffering of others, by corrupting those basic messages into something... les…
/r/ExRedPill29/12/18 06:01 AM
1

You know... it's really telling when you summarize personal responsibility, respect, and kindness as "all that other shit." I hope you've learned to enjoy solitude, kid. Don't bother replying.
/r/ExRedPill29/12/18 05:54 AM
1

That is an example of inaction, but the parallel doesn't reach well. The clearest examples are how in WW2 the German citizens looked away when Nazi's targeted the Jews.
/r/ExRedPill29/12/18 05:47 AM
1

Original Sin is a flawed concept and it doesn't apply here. Anyone who can look at a baby and say "that child is a sinner, destined for Hell" can go fuck themselves. But let's not get side-tracked. There's only salvation by works, but honestly... that metaphor falls short because there's no "God" of Feminism, nor a Heaven, nor Hell. No one is "eternally damned" (unless they choose to be). What that matters is taking responsibility for your bad actions (intentional or not), not giving in to guilt…
/r/ExRedPill29/12/18 05:43 AM
1

No. God has nothing to do with this. Not immediately. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriarchy It is a system of social power and privilege where men benefit from the continued oppression and objectification of women, similar to how white people benefit from the oppression of non-whites. That benefit may be direct and active or it may be indirect and passive, but it is there. "Men" as a group don't benefit from it equally, and that benefit is invisible (because it's accepted as "normal") until y…
/r/ExRedPill27/12/18 10:38 PM
1

I don't think you have the emotional intelligence to understand what you're communicating, or the understanding to know how transparent you are. You really should get some counseling.
/r/ExRedPill27/12/18 10:03 PM
1

I've been very successfully poly for the last 14 years, including while married, and currently have 3 wonderful girlfriends. I'm really not one to brag, but... trust me, I have ample experience in this realm. I know what I wrote was sharp-edged, but redpill bullshit is a crippling, self-destructive mindset. The tone arose from frustration, but know this: I do want you to succeed and find happiness. You're not going to find it on your current path. Best of luck to you too. I hope you had a good h…
/r/ExRedPill27/12/18 10:01 PM
1

You can do it, dude. Don't let selfish people drag you down. Don't beat yourself up, and don't listen to the intrusive thoughts.
/r/ExRedPill23/12/18 04:52 AM
6

Says the kid who's angry about not getting enough attention from women? lol Let me give you a hint: Sex is a skill that takes practice. Relationships are a skill that takes practice. You, having experience in neither, are not qualified to speak about such things. Listen to those who do. Being good at sex and relationships requires - guess what - being in relationships and fucking a lot. There's only one way to do that. It involves trying new things, succeeding, failing, and learning from all of …
/r/ExRedPill22/12/18 10:57 PM
5

> Slut it up all you want. I could care less. First of all, the phrase you want is "I couldn't care less." Because it's painfully obvious that you do care. Your anger and bile proves it.
/r/ExRedPill22/12/18 10:46 PM
5

It's appeal to nature fallacy pseudoscience used to demonize and dehumanize women. Burn it. Just be happy people are having fun, dude. If you're bitter and angry about that, do you somehow imagine that others are going to want to be around you? No. You're being a misogynist asshole and trapping yourself in a cycle of self-defeat and suffering.
/r/ExRedPill22/12/18 10:45 PM
11

If they really wanted sex, they could save up some cash and hire a prostitute. They want social power without consequence, but they're hyperfocusing on sex. Thankfully they're getting neither because they're neck-deep in toxic and abusive ideologies. They need therapy and mental health help.
/r/ExRedPill22/12/18 12:21 AM
1

I don't know, dude. There's no easy way, but the best way to do that is with copious amounts of therapy, and possibly investigate cult deprogramming techniques. First, start with your own self-worth. You have a choice, you have value, you're more than a sex toy for anyone. You deserve kindness and respect, from yourself as much as anyone else, and your needs are important. Don't make sweeping generalizations about anyone, but if someone doesn't respect you or treat you as an equal partner? Don't…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/18 12:11 AM
1

Understandable, but it's still time to update your perspective and work your way out of that hole. ​ https://www.thisisinsider.com/joshua-harris-one-of-the-leaders-of-the-christian-purity-movement-asked-his-publisher-to-stop-printing-his-book-2018-12?fbclid=IwAR2jAe5JNYtYQ6ucWR09-SqX_ez6JZB45C8r4E102Ulr45Md4FvyfuxF7do
/r/ExRedPill19/12/18 10:10 PM
1

I'm 39, pushing 40. I would suggest finding more contemporary examples; there's been a lot of advancement in those spheres (thanks to the internet).
/r/ExRedPill19/12/18 05:57 PM
7

You're allowed to have feelings, especially in traumatic times. If you weren't devastated at it's end, then the relationship wasn't worth having in the first place. A significant factor in love is vulnerability, because frankly, one can't foster trust if you don't offer something invaluable. Learn to process your feelings in a healthy and constructive manner, then use that pain as fuel for growth (so you don't have to go through this again). Pretending you don't have feelings or empathy for othe…
/r/ExRedPill19/12/18 05:23 PM
1

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences rooted in abuse, but Dworkin and Co, anti-sex conservative mindsets, and your abusers are only representative samples of themselves. The first set have been passed by when it comes to feminism and sex (not to mention that reading those when you're twelve isn't going to give you an adult perspective of the issues), the second set has it's own baggage when it comes to sex (as you know), and the third requires significant therapy, especially considering how abus…
/r/ExRedPill17/12/18 10:13 PM
3

None of that matters, and frankly, it comes across as rationalized victim-blaming. Picking a small subset of people to justify abuse thrown at an entire demographic is manipulative. It's not "scorched earth" either. That's complete rhetoric. If it appears so dangerous, then something is very, very wrong. You need to reset your perspective on the matters and find a better way to approach the issue, from the ground up, which includes your currently held beliefs. Or keep doing the same thing you're…
/r/ExRedPill17/12/18 02:05 AM
1

Shit like TRP deserves it's own category of cult, because there's no one titular head of the church (because usually it centers on one charismatic individual); instead, it posits that every member can be the leader.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/18 01:58 AM
2

"The Truth" and "The Perception of the Truth" are different things. Do keep that in mind. That said, we have deductive reasoning, logic, and empathy to determine what actions are best, to understand why, and to sift away the garbage. Let's look at a few basic logical axioms we can adopt: If you have to put others down to feel good about yourself - women, 'beta' men, or whomever - you're simply not a good person. If you have to hurt others to get what you want? You are not a good person- you are …
/r/ExRedPill13/12/18 08:24 PM
4

That doesn't justify anything, least of all hurting others. It is a poor excuse. Don't bother with people who play games like that.
/r/ExRedPill13/12/18 08:11 PM
25

The "alpha wolf" concept was thrown out by the author who coined it, but by then it was too late- the pseudoscientists took hold of it and ran. Redpill does not concede that women have an actual ability to make their own decisions outside of TRP's defined lane, which is an obvious misogynist falsehood. It's based on shitty and destructive stereotypes, which target both genders. Redpill also mistakes bullying and arrogance with confidence. These aren't the same at all. Much of the tactics are man…
/r/ExRedPill06/12/18 04:01 AM
6

"The nature of women is subservience" is an appeal to nature fallacy, pushed by misogynists. Don't fall for that lie either.
/r/ExRedPill29/11/18 10:23 PM
3

You're not a little shit. Stop beating yourself up, ok? You're repeating bad patterns, likely ones you learned from your family, and haven't found the right way to do things yet. Take responsibility for that, but don't shit on yourself. I'm guessing you - or her - don't have a lot of positive relationship examples to look toward? You both need therapy, as individuals and as a couple, so you can learn to do things right instead of bumbling around hurting each other.
/r/ExRedPill29/11/18 10:21 PM
11

Your wife isn't playing games. Get that shit out of your head. It's pretty obvious from here that she doesn't know how to communicate clearly or constructively, and isn't doing it well. That happens, but neither are you. You both have lots of room to improve, but the entire point of marriages and relationships is doing it together. Let's take this "seductive" topic for an example. What do you do? Sit down and talk to her about it. Ask her what sort of things she'd like to see from you. Ideally, …
/r/ExRedPill29/11/18 10:17 PM
8

Do not mistake "respect" with "obedience." Those are not the same. The simplest answer is that respect is kindness. Her dragging you through the mud like that is emotional abuse and she needs to stop. You abusing her in return isn't going to fix things. She needs better coping mechanisms, and you both need to learn how to communicate emotionally, like rational loving adults. If you're not sure what constitutes emotional abuse, google it. I'm not trying to be flippant; there are piles of resource…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/18 09:59 PM
4

Hurting others won't make your life better. Be very aware that harm and violence isn't solely physical, but emotional, mental, financial, and political as well. I can promise you this: redpill ideology is rooted in the causation of harm toward women. If you continue to hurt her, at some point she'll leave. That's how people work. If you're making yourself feel better at the expense of her well-being, you're an abuser. Being high on a power trip does not change this. A temporary upswing doesn't c…
/r/ExRedPill29/11/18 09:54 PM
3

That has nothing to do with the current topic. Keep your red herrings to yourself or be silent.
/r/ExRedPill29/11/18 09:46 PM
2

Family love is not unconditional. It should be, but that relies on a just world fallacy; a quick stroll through /r/raisedbynarcissists shows where that fails.
/r/ExRedPill27/11/18 08:18 PM
63

No one loves unconditionally, because that's now how humans work. Love is an active action, an investment of time and energy and vulnerability and joy and sorrow, far more complex and deeper than whatever base chemical reactions you might imagine it to be, which is a reflection of inexperience and assumptive ignorance. Don't use poor understandings and half-assed pseudoscience to rationalize misogynist bullshit through appeal-to-nature fallacies. Only fools do that. The only ones who deserve unc…
/r/ExRedPill08/11/18 03:11 AM
2

Attractive people certainly do better, but assuming photogenic beauty is the only factor in attraction is juvenile and limiting. Humans are more complicated than then base drives, and to say otherwise is ultimately an appeal to nature fallacy.
/r/ExRedPill17/10/18 10:36 PM
1

OKCupid is a heavily-filtered subset of the general population. It (and other dating spites) focus on the photographic and physical element because that's how indirect human communication works. *In person* there are lot more factors in play. ​ Not to discount physical attraction, but we have to be aware of the study's bias and information filtering, otherwise we'll come away with a skewed understanding.
/r/ExRedPill17/10/18 10:34 PM
2

Tinder is not the only venue for meeting people. It's biased, deeply abstracted, and heavily filtered at the best of times. Let's *not* extrapolate data about wider social trends from there, ok?
/r/ExRedPill27/09/18 06:09 PM
6

It's a baseless meme meant to reinforce toxic stereotypes through a poor understanding of demographics.
/r/ExRedPill27/09/18 06:07 PM
17

TRP is an abusive misogyny cult. Women can internalize that as much as men. They could get a similar structure through BDSM, but without the abuse or bullshit. Whether your partner cheats on you is up to them, not you. It's their decision and not actually a reflection of you. Healthy relationships require clear and constructive communication, mutual respect (which is different than obedience), cooperation toward common goals, and a whole basket of other things. It's not easy, but worth it. Also,…
/r/ExRedPill11/09/18 04:11 AM
2

Most men's dating advice, especially from the "pickup artist" sphere (you know, the unfortunately popular one), is absolutely misogynist and objectifying. It should be hyperbole, and I wish it were, but it isn't. Most of it is worse than utter garbage. Unlike the PUT A DONUT ON HIS DICK tripe from Cosmo, the systemic misogyny involved in patriarchal systems is geared to hurt others in one way or another because it relies on standard power dynamics instead of respect- power dynamics that are root…
/r/ExRedPill27/08/18 10:45 PM
5

It's good that you can recognize your own shortcomings in your past. You don't have to be proud of it (and shouldn't), but be proud for overcoming those things. That's really fucking hard. Misogyny is essentially a gateway drug to all other forms of bigotry, probably because it's the oldest, strongest, and most-ingrained out there. It's literally been a part of most of society since the dawn of time. Why? Most of society hinged upon the application of violence, and women were viewed not as partn…
/r/ExRedPill11/08/18 09:29 PM
4

While women have their own mental health issues, just like men, incels don't "attract" inadequate or "crazy" women. Borderline personality disorder isn't that common. As individuals they might be drawn to certain types of people, but "crazy" is a two-way street because it's a reflection on communication ability. If they can't hold down their own end and don't take responsibility for the communication breakdowns, well... shit's gonna fall apart and it's going to upset other people. If someone is …
/r/ExRedPill11/08/18 09:13 PM
18

The world is changing away from older patterns. Women are gaining their own voice and they're no longer tolerating belligerence, abuse, inequality, or disrespect. Society forces women to grow up a whole lot faster than it does for men, and for the longest time men could coast along and find success being, essentially, mediocre (or worse, detrimental). This is no longer the case, but much of society tells men they do not need to improve, they do not need to deal with their emotional issues in a h…
/r/ExRedPill11/08/18 09:05 PM
25

You're being extremely paranoid. You know how you avoid this sort of thing? Be kind, courteous, and respectful to women. It's honestly not hard and it doesn't cost money. Be a person she wants around.
/r/ExRedPill25/07/18 07:51 PM
4

A lot of IT nerds, notably those working at companies like reddit, facebook, google, etc. follow similar ideologies to RedPill (because it's rooted in toxic masculinity). The Incel groups were too far outside the internet's Overton Window. Not to mention actively advocating for rape and murder.
/r/ExRedPill06/07/18 11:20 PM
3

That's stupidly misogynist. However. If a person is pretending to be someone's friend and then starts making a move when they're vulnerable, that person is a selfish, passive assburger. It sounds like you probably said something stupid. Friends listen, but friends also reciprocate. If she's not listening to you, then find a better friend. Or better, talk to her about it and communicate like adults.
/r/ExRedPill03/07/18 03:54 AM
15

Those redpill bloggers are rapists, attempting to normalize their actions.
/r/ExRedPill11/06/18 04:19 AM
5

There's always redpillers being stupid here. They feel the urge to proselytize, but they always fail.
/r/ExRedPill11/06/18 04:12 AM
19

You're absolutely right, yes it has, and yes it should. It's a cesspool of bigotry and abuse.
/r/ExRedPill08/06/18 11:25 PM
1

Counseling isn't going to make progress on it's own. They're just present to advise you and keep you pointed in the right direction. You're the one who's going to have to do the work, and there is no easy answer. Read up on depression. The signals are all there.
/r/ExRedPill25/05/18 08:47 PM
4

You really should get some therapy. it sounds like you're dealing with significant depression.
/r/ExRedPill24/05/18 12:39 AM
1

I know it rationally, but it's such a foreign thing to me.
/r/ExRedPill21/04/18 01:47 AM
4

It's a hydra issue. There are a lot of "small" individuals we could point to, but no single LeaderTM . Not like MLK, Hitler, Louis XIV, David Koresh, L. Ron Hubbard, Joseph Smith, or any other "singular" head, if that makes sense. It's not dissimilar to how the current right-wing political landscape is functioning like a cult. There are a lot of group leaders (like Pat Robertson, Trump, Alex Jones, Hannity, the NRA, etc) but no single individual in charge... that we know of, at least. Trump is t…
/r/ExRedPill19/04/18 02:47 PM
1

Then click on a bunch of different links, modify the search parameters a little bit, and see what works best. Basic data research, yo.
/r/ExRedPill18/04/18 06:51 PM
3

Google search things like healthy relationship habits, emotional communication, emotional abuse tactics (for a list of things to avoid), emotional management, dating red flags (more things to avoid), and so on. I should say that it's easy to find... if you know what to look for.
/r/ExRedPill18/04/18 06:33 PM
7

Yeah, that's a selfish sociopath. Might want to stay clear of him.
/r/ExRedPill18/04/18 05:59 PM
3

Because it is a cult. It's just a headless one.
/r/ExRedPill18/04/18 05:57 PM
11

Redpill movement is real psychology mixed with bro science. Every good lie has a kernel of truth. That's how they sell the bullshit.
/r/ExRedPill18/04/18 02:21 PM
11

How the hell does someone go from Dale Carnegie's "be kind and supportive toward others" to "others are lesser"? WTF.
/r/ExRedPill18/04/18 02:19 PM
7

I'm pretty sure sociopathy exists on a spectrum. Some are just selfish, others actively detrimental. Either way, they hurt people. It's not about being mentally damaged, or even holding ill intent. It's about selfishness and apathy- they ultimately put their own needs above others' well-being, and pushing others down to lift themselves up. This is insanely common behavior. They might not even realize they're doing this (most folks are not that self-aware), but ultimately intent does not matter n…
/r/ExRedPill18/04/18 02:17 PM
20

While some guys are better at hiding themselves than others, there are tells for negative and detrimental behavior patterns, and experienced, observant people can spot those red flags pretty early. They steer clear from those folks, usually because they learned it the hard way, often more than once, to avoid people who aren't good for them. A lot of those guys aren't observant enough to notice or they're too selfish to understand. This is not specifically about "redpill" but those demonstrate mi…
/r/ExRedPill17/04/18 02:46 PM
4

I have, in fact, done the research, with a deep and wide scope. Socioeconomic success is highly variable at the individual level, but can easily be simplified over large groups- essentially, those who start off better usually end up better. Especially when you start bringing matters of race and generational wealth into the picture. "Some" children of rich people don't do well, but others get "small" million dollar loans and create billion dollar businesses. For everyone of them there are signifi…
/r/ExRedPill11/04/18 11:26 PM
3

IQ isn't actually correlated with success as much as other factors. "Wealth of the parents" is a much more accurate predictor, as well as other socio-economic issues like institutionalized racism. IQ itself is also a highly limited measurement of individual ability. "Intelligence" does not equal "Wisdom." Ben Carson (for example) is very smart in some fields but also blisteringly foolish in others. We all know incredibly smart people who do, say, and support very foolish ideologies, who rational…
/r/ExRedPill11/04/18 10:47 PM
7

The problem with toxicity is that it doesn't take much to poison the whole system. That's how toxicity works. The whole "a few bad apples spoils the whole bunch" is a similar bit of cultural wisdom. It's important to actually recognize what is actually toxic, to who, and why. Just because something doesn't hurt you doesn't mean it won't hurt someone else. Here's the thing- relationships shouldn't be treacherous, and if you do it right, it isn't. Approaching it with any sort of antagonism, disres…
/r/ExRedPill11/04/18 10:31 PM
16

"Women are manipulative" is standard psychological projection for bigots and misogynists, and an emotionally manipulative tactic. By stating that your victims are guilty of the things you do, you're making it harder for them to be believed. I would truly suggest investigating emotional manipulation and abuse if you haven't already, if only to more accurately label the actions in the divorce. Using the technical terms identify and put a handle on what you've likely already recognized as harmful, …
/r/ExRedPill04/04/18 08:44 PM
8

You can do all those things without relying on an abusive redpill mindset.
/r/ExRedPill04/04/18 08:42 PM
9

The simplest answer to whether or not something is good for a relationship is to view it through a "trust and respect" lens. As in "does this demonstrate trust and respect." After that, investigate how and why so you understand it better. Deeper, meaningful, supportive, stable love cannot exist without respect and trust. Redpill and other bigoted ideologies absolutely do not reflect this- they only reinforce self-centeredness and the causation of harm as a means to alleviate one's internal needs…
/r/ExRedPill04/04/18 08:39 PM
1

If you agree with that, I would suggest you not use "conservative" as a label because the current use is antithetical to your perspective. You'll likely want something more leftist. The problem with "fiscal conservatism" (and libertarianism) is that inevitably the cuts align with systemic oppression, never just simply "efficiency." AKA they target poor minorities. For example- local funding of school districts through property taxes entrenches uneven education. A far better approach would be to …
/r/ExRedPill04/04/18 07:41 PM
3

The GOP is a hot mess, but this is what happens after three decades or more of tribalist, divisive propaganda (notably with Reagan, but I'm sure it can be traced back further). The Overton window got dragged so far to the right that the bulk of them are well off the charts and have dove headfirst into a weird hybrid of authoritarian, hyper-religious dominionist, neoliberalism. I don't think there are singular terms for that clusterfuck, aside from "corrupt" and "cult." The whole country is upsid…
/r/ExRedPill04/04/18 01:58 PM
3

Interestingly, she's a conservative and would likely agree with them on a lot of topics. Not sure how "alt-right" she is, but I didn't bother to dig deeper.
/r/ExRedPill03/04/18 09:22 PM
4

Eh. There are certainly some "not quite right" vibes coming from her work, but I have a feeling the main issues are outside the current scope of what we define as mental illness.
/r/ExRedPill03/04/18 09:20 PM
3

Yeah, same.
/r/ExRedPill03/04/18 09:18 PM
9

What the shit is this selfish projecting drivel? Oh, not surprising it's from an avowed conservative (check her website). The author's other works point to severe depression, insecurity, and a whole lot of rationalization about suffering; too bad she can't seem to find the way out. There are cognitive red flags all over everything here- she might as well be leading a communist parade - but if these things actually reflect her experiences? Damn, that must be truly awful. No wonder she sounds so b…
/r/ExRedPill03/04/18 07:12 PM
5

Apparently yes it was. But it's still just the toxic opinions of the author(s), painted as if it were some deeper truth. But then, everything looks deep when you're a shallow person.
/r/ExRedPill03/04/18 07:08 PM
3

Thanks! :D
/r/ExRedPill03/04/18 01:30 AM
4

No problem dude. Observing information with a proper level of skepticism is hard. Once you can recognize the patterns and motives of the writer, and what they're communicating in the subtext, it gets easier. Everything I mentioned may seem like a lot and there's a lot to unpack, but really... it's all just part of growing into a mature and responsible adult. You got this.
/r/ExRedPill03/04/18 01:29 AM
38

First off, recognize that these decisions about supporting certain paradigms are often emotional and subconscious decisions first and rationalized second. When we see "facts" that support a view we already imagine as true, our brains reinforce the pre-made decision. That's just how (all) people are built, it's part of the human condition, and it's something you're attempting to swim against without actually knowing how to swim. This takes practice, and it's also a major hole that allows us to be…
/r/ExRedPill02/04/18 02:55 PM
2

There's likely the thing that's really bothering you and what you need to address. My parents were divorced when I was 10, so I totally get it. Shit's hard, but you can do it. You can't really have a functional relationship without trust and respect though, and I would absolutely recommend dealing with this sooner than later. Love by itself isn't enough.
/r/ExRedPill02/04/18 02:06 PM
1

Do you trust her?
/r/ExRedPill01/04/18 09:00 PM
9

I agree. Strong, confident people do not have to resort to such devious, manipulative, selfish, and hurtful practices to get what they want in life. Good and supportive people are actively repulsed by the idea, and anyone with even an ounce of self-respect is going to turn the fuck around and walk the fuck away.
/r/ExRedPill01/04/18 08:59 PM
6

"Dread" is literally emotional manipulation abuse. It may work, temporarily, but at what cost? Aside from the pain you cause to your partner, she's going to wise up and rightfully leave your ass, probably sooner than later, and you'd have brought all that misery onto yourself. Not only that, but everyone who talks to her will see you as abusive trash. Anyone with a bit of self-respect will not tolerate this shit. You know that but it seems you aren't willing to listen. Ask yourself why you feel …
/r/ExRedPill01/04/18 08:56 PM
7

I understand the reticence, but there's nothing to be embarrassed about getting guidance from a professional. You wouldn't work on your car's transmission without a professional, right? Sure you can go to the gym on your own, but talking to a trainer helps you do it right (so you don't hurt yourself or develop bad habits). This isn't different- the work is in your brain and subconscious. Learning to human correctly, especially dealing with hard subconscious issues, takes practice, education, and…
/r/ExRedPill20/03/18 01:56 PM
12

this is likely a placeholder for some other issue regarding suffering, trauma, and other related unhappiness. it's a thing your brain is currently obsessing over - a thing you can't change so it's easy to rage against - and it's likely a dramatic distraction from some other issue that's plaguing your subconscious. dig into what else is bothering you. the subconscious works by association, so figure out what sort of things (bad experiences that cause suffering) this is associated with, and figure…
/r/ExRedPill19/03/18 04:12 PM
8

Yeah, it's fucking difficult. If it were easy to disseminate the two, everyone would do it. The only real way to learn a lot of these things is to learn them the hard way- which means suffering on your part and others. Experience is the best teacher, but only for those who want to learn- fools make the same mistakes over and over. Hopefully, you can learn from my mistakes. Society is in many ways very abusive, and that creates destructive cycles (because abuse, like poverty, is generational). di…
/r/ExRedPill13/03/18 06:41 PM
15

If you don't respect her, don't date her. If you did respect her, you wouldn't really be having this conversation, would you? Not really. Not truly. If you hold on to those toxic mindsets, they will leak out. That's what these things do. Deal with them. Drop them. You don't have to carry that baggage. Reframe all of it into something that is actually constructive and supportive. Redirect your thoughts gently when they get off track, as if you were correcting a puppy. Anything you know is toxic? …
/r/ExRedPill13/03/18 05:02 PM
1

Learn from the mistakes and act in ways that prevent their re-occurrence. People will notice (because we do), especially once you get better at communication. "How" will depend on what specific topic we're addressing, but these are cumulative actions. Treating others with respect is not actually hard, but it does take practice. Self-observation is not hard either, but it takes practice. Walking isn't hard, but it too takes practice. All skills are like this. If you could solve it by yourself, yo…
/r/ExRedPill12/03/18 04:33 PM
1

No one cares what you think, fool-ass loser.
/r/ExRedPill21/02/18 03:38 PM
6

narcissism and emotional manipulation are a whole other can of worms. If you're getting a high off of them, then your depression isn't actually cured- you're just energetically distracted. Those aren't the same thing, and narcissistic people like that will absolutely feed off of your rapt attention.
/r/ExRedPill02/02/18 06:13 PM
8

If you can't see love and joy and happinessin your partners, do some self-reflection. Hint: the only constant factor in all your relationships... is you. Not saying it's a bad thing, but it is what it is. "You" are also the only thing you can really affect, and if you don't like where things are, commit to improvement. Perhaps you're not actually encouraging it as well as you might think. Displays of love require encouragement and effort, and this is definitely a two-way street. If you do someth…
/r/ExRedPill31/01/18 10:18 PM
25

You emotionally abused her and got a reaction. Yes, hurting someone emotional is abuse. Ok. Where do you think this is going to end, and what does it say about you? Do you really want to be the guy who threatens his partner to get what he wants? You get that this is wrong and bad, don't you? You do understand that there are better ways to communicate, right? And no, scaring your partner into compliance does not mean you're growing a spine. No, communication your needs and established boundaries …
/r/ExRedPill31/01/18 10:02 PM
3

Yeah, this is a cleverly crafted appeal to nature fallacy. I would really suggest you not do that.
/r/ExRedPill31/01/18 09:57 PM
1

Of course they can, dude. "Women" aren't monolithic. However, they aren't going to forgive you if you don't change (would you want to be with someone who treats you the way you treated others? Probably not). The question becomes then- what are you going to do about it? How are you going to improve and be better than the person you were? We're all damaged in some way. How you repair yourself is what's important. Who you are in the future is what's important. How you treat others is what people se…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/18 05:36 PM
2

Show more than just your muscles. Show your personality. Show your brain. Be creative. You might be, or you could just be a noob who doesn't know how to communicate and doesn't respect women that much, and who got derailed by redpill bullshit instead of learning how to be a good person. For example, if you think "girls won't care" about anything but the physical, you're perspective is incredibly limited, unempathetic, and fundamentally disrespectful; women can smell that a mile away because they…
/r/ExRedPill17/01/18 03:40 PM
2

The issue is that the photos are meant to show off the best features you have and paint you in the best light. Shirtless photos in a bathroom are, well... boorish. It's like artless dick pics. If your best feature is your dick, that doesn't say much about the rest of you, ya know? No style, no substance, no value, no personality. Just a piece of meat. All size jokes aside, it's not really offering much, and what is there is easily replaceable. That doesn't even get into the "women don't like get…
/r/ExRedPill16/01/18 09:57 PM
2

Topless pics only get you so far, and for the love of biscuits don't take bathroom mirror selfies (you'll just look selfish and oblivious). Read up about what kinds of pictures get the best results. Do actual homework about how to best present yourself online. Try just talking to people on your commute, without pushing for a date for a while. Just relax have fun with no expectations. Remember, it's not just if you like them, it's if they like you too, and nobody likes getting hit on on the damne…
/r/ExRedPill16/01/18 06:16 PM
3

That's why you take it slow and steady. Be mindful of yourself, foster respect and empathy in others, be more observant of the wondrous world around you (even when life is kinda shitty), and when you need to rest, rest. Growth like this can take months or even years, and every step forward, no matter how small it might seem, moves you in the right direction. You can do it, bro.
/r/ExRedPill16/01/18 05:49 PM
4

There is no chad- it's a straw argument created for people to react against. Don't think in dichotomies like that, and don't put others down to make yourself feel better. Just be the best FlipMode you can be, and become comfortable with the process of growth and self-improvement. All you or anyone else can do is their best.
/r/ExRedPill16/01/18 05:46 PM
3

the first part may seem harsh, but take it as constructive criticism. Dealing with that guy who hits on everyone is very tiring. No one likes it, no one feels really safe or comfortable around that person. Post uni life isn't that bad... as long as you have a plan in advance. Try to get some internships under your belt so you can ease into the corporate environment, and for the love of queues and tea, do not hit on people in the office. Be professional, mature, engaging, and fun. Be someone othe…
/r/ExRedPill12/01/18 07:18 PM
4

Taking time to talk to people about their interests is a good way to avoid the "hitting on the organizer" issues in the future. Try cooking classes. Even if you don't meet anyone there, knowing how to cook well is a very easy way to impress people. Plus it's cheaper and healthier than eating out all the time. You can try game nights at your local comic book store, but well... it's important to understand the audience for the events you'll be attending. Go have fun, but be aware that it's probabl…
/r/ExRedPill12/01/18 07:11 PM
2

Seems like most people I know (including me) found their partners by chance through shared activities/hobbies or professions. Don't look at it as "random chance." Look at it as networking. The more things you do, the more opportunities you have to meet people. The more people you meet, and the more they like you, the more chances there are to find the right kind of people to accomplish whatever you want to accomplish. Dating, business, friends, whatever. Doesn't matter. The process is basically …
/r/ExRedPill12/01/18 07:06 PM
7

TRP is sexist and dumb because it hinges on disrespect for women by painting them as objects and it's tactics (especially shit like dread game or negging) are often emotionally abusive. Seriously- read up on emotional manipulation and abuse tactics. Not just so that you can recognize those things and name them if they happen to you, but so that you don't do them to others (accidentally or otherwise). Those tactics are absolutely red flags- ones people will see and they will react accordingly, us…
/r/ExRedPill12/01/18 07:02 PM
2

It's a thing that takes time and practice. Observing the dynamics is important, but you have to be able to objectively observe yourself too. Getting better at reading body language can give you very fast feedback, and can help you deal with any speedbumps more smoothly. If you say something stupid or stick your foot in your mouth, address it immediately. "What that looks like" is context dependent (based on what you said). If it's just awkward, "Well that was impressively awkward. Let's change t…
/r/ExRedPill12/01/18 06:45 PM
3

What do you do? Talk to other people and do your best to make friends. Don't make a bee-line toward the pretty women; again, they experience this often and you'll just pigeon-hole yourself as "yet another thirsty dude." When you end up talking to them, just be friendly. Be aware of your tone and body language, and don't be too forward. Fidgeting and light eye contact are fine, in moderation. Don't worry about it. Silliness is great, as long as you make people laugh with it. Personally I have a v…
/r/ExRedPill12/01/18 04:35 PM
10

If they're using malicious and manipulative tactics and putting others down to make themselves feel better, then they're far below average- they're actively detrimental to others. All those positive, self-affirming things can be found elsewhere, without having to deal with the ingrained misogyny, manipulation, disrespect, or egocentric bullshit. Redpill tactics and terminology are red flags that people will notice and react against, which means the redpiller is unwittingly setting themselves up …
/r/ExRedPill12/01/18 04:19 PM
4

The best thing to do is to go to group events for things that you enjoy, network, and meet friends of friends. Don't immediately mack on the pretty girls either- you have to show them you're safe. Sharing interests gives you something to talk about, and if you don't meet girls there, it gives you something fun to do anyway. Women and most dudes can really tell if you're at an event because you're thirsty and want to hit on women. It's usually incredibly obvious, even if the guy himself is oblivi…
/r/ExRedPill11/01/18 05:54 PM
10

If you're reading bitterness, that's only what you're bringing to the table. If you gotta start with weak ad-homs, you've already failed at the discussion. Goodbye.
/r/ExRedPill04/01/18 02:30 PM
3

Thought crime? Seriously? What are you, sixteen? Grow up and lay of the melodrama. Your "free thought" is nothing but hubris. If you want to play the persecuted victim when you're called out on bad behavior, go do it elsewhere.
/r/ExRedPill03/01/18 06:01 AM
6

You know where Google is. I suggest you use it. I'm not going to indulge your need to argue, especially when it's already clear you aren't actually willing to listen or accept anything I might say because you're nitpicking. While you're looking that particular topic up, research "derailment", "deflection", "red herring", "bad faith argument", and "unreasonable burdens of proof." I'm not going to continue this conversation. Have a Merry Christmas.
/r/ExRedPill25/12/17 04:25 AM
3

Trust me when I say this isn't meant to be rude or an attack against you here. Don't make excuses for the bad behavior of others. If you honestly think that Google Guy was innocent, then you aren't listening or paying attention; you are only seeing what you want to see, and are perpetuating bigotry through ignorance and rationalization. He very much deserved to get shit-canned. Whether intentional or not, don't do that. You need to break out of this bad cycle. This is a major personality flaw; w…
/r/ExRedPill24/12/17 05:21 PM
5

Of course you can. Just don't be an assumptive clod about it. Don't fall back on bad stereotypes either, or use an appeal to nature fallacy to justify bullshit and sexism (subtle or overt).
/r/ExRedPill24/12/17 03:08 PM
8

The things you mentioned don't actually matter in this context and you missed the point by a mile.
/r/ExRedPill23/12/17 10:12 PM
16

Then don't, because it's not true. Those PUA tactics work at times, but understand that they're presenting themselves in the best and most powerful light; they're certainly not showing their failures. Sure some women cheat and others are easily manipulated, but that's not the standard. Assuming "all women are like that" is sexist trash based on bad assumptions, propaganda, and manipulation.
/r/ExRedPill20/12/17 04:26 PM
13

I would suggest learning about cult manipulation and indoctrination techniques, as well as emotional manipulation and abuse. You'll see a lot of those tactics in TRP and PUA. Learn them, recognize them, name them, and you'll be better at dealing with them. Read up on how the human mind works: notably tribalism, sellfishness, rationalization of the subconscious, emotional management, the fallibility of human observation, the rashomon effect, sociopathy, non-verbal communication, observation bias …
/r/ExRedPill20/12/17 04:24 PM
1

They believe what they want to believe and rationalize those angry feelings. That's just how people function. They'll rationalize anything that makes them feel better, no matter who it hurts. Some might get out when it gets too hurtful to themselves, but the others will double down on the ideology and dissociate. That's also how people function- especially the desperate and depressed.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/17 09:36 PM
1

The problem inherent in toxic spaces is noticing what is and isn't negative. The bulk of the indoctrination is quiet and easily overlooked if you don't know otherwise. Those things seep in when you're not paying attention, because human perception and cognition is surprisingly malleable.
/r/ExRedPill13/12/17 03:52 PM
2

Of course it is. Why shouldn't it be? Do you control your life, or do you let your hormones and feelings control you? If the former, the answer is of course yes. If the latter, well... you should address that because it's a very juvenile approach to life. Feelings and emotions can have input, but they don't get to drive. Not to mention that, you know, she's a person and has more value than just inciting penis-feels because she has an aesthetically pleasing, symmetrical face. No, being friends wi…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/17 07:36 PM
4

The problem with TRP, even the self-care, is that they shit on others to make themselves feel better. That's not actually self-care, it doesn't allow for growth, and it's not sustaining.
/r/ExRedPill12/12/17 07:35 PM
4

The Maligned Nice GuyTM is just a passive-aggressive douchebag. Don't be either. Don't insist on viewing a spectrum of points as only the extremes- the world is more complicated than such simplistic answers can address. There's a middle ground in there, where you can be good and friendly and kind without being a doormat, and where you can stand up for yourself without being a douchebag. It's not actually hard to find, but it takes effort. The problem with TRP is the inherent misogyny. Most of th…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/17 06:59 PM
1

Good. She has things she needs to deal with too, and she has to do it on her own. Hopefully she can. Wish her all the best and move on.
/r/ExRedPill12/12/17 06:49 PM
2

You're still young and this is a prime learning experience. Specifically, so you don't make those same mistakes again (or get sucked under by a different cult). I'd let her go and focus on fixing yourself first and foremost. Bringing up her bad actions won't help right now (she'll likely just get defensive, because that's what people do).
/r/ExRedPill12/12/17 05:28 PM
39

Well the first thing you do is you fucking apologize to her and tell her exactly what happened- you came across some abusive ideologies and they got stuck in your head. It was really, really foolish of you, you've learned from it, and you're working to move past it all. You're extremely sorry you hurt her, and you hope that she can forgive you for it. Take responsibility for your fuck-ups. You need to understand how emotional decision-making and rationalization work. As humans, we usually make e…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/17 04:57 PM
16

The anger and resentment from TRP builds up quickly. People see this and avoid the person carrying it- no one likes to be around that kind of person, and it creates a cycle of misery for the individual. It's good that you're breaking this cycle sooner than later. At least you figured this out sooner than later. This is a great opportunity for you to mature and become a better, friendlier, good person- now you've got a chance to clear your head and do some intense personal development. Purge your…
/r/ExRedPill11/12/17 06:46 PM
6

You can if you choose to. It may be slow and take some time and more reading (and therapy), but it's your decision to stay or leave. Your feelings can provide input, but they don't get to drive. If you're afraid of the unknown and taking solace in the comfortable, even though you know it's toxic, well... That's your decision. If you don't grow out of this, it will just be more of what you have now.
/r/ExRedPill10/12/17 10:04 PM
1

They "have the power" but that power is unrightfully obtained (through feminism). That power is to be taken back. It's the same way racists viewed blacks, esp. Obama.
/r/ExRedPill08/12/17 06:15 PM
3

Some do, yes; attractiveness is subjective and women exist on a spectrum. Just like men. Not everyone makes good decisions.
/r/ExRedPill06/12/17 06:16 PM
3

eyeroll.exe
/r/ExRedPill06/12/17 06:13 PM
10

If men are built to be leaders, why are so very many of them not?
/r/ExRedPill05/12/17 07:34 PM
8

They're rationalizing not just what they see, but what they want to see. They're putting others (women, black men, other white men, etc.) down to feel better about themselves. They want an unassailable moral high ground, regardless of the cost to others (or even themselves).
/r/ExRedPill05/12/17 07:33 PM
16

The differences aren't actually that great in the grand scheme of things, especially when it comes to decision-making processes. 99% of pseudo-sociology that uses biology as a lens is, frankly, hogwash; they take a few things (like "men have more muscle mass") and extrapolate via bad assumptions and historical trends... without paying attention to the social conditioning that created those trends. In the "nature vs nurture" question, the answer is "both." Trying to discuss one without the other …
/r/ExRedPill04/12/17 09:28 PM
3

Dude, you have it to her better than all the other guys. They weren't good enough to keep around. Now get that alpha/beta crap out of your head.
/r/ExRedPill04/12/17 05:35 AM
21

They see them as a trophy. An exotic submissive sex object, rooted in racist fetishization. The reality of the situation has nothing to do with the fantasy.
/r/ExRedPill04/12/17 05:14 AM
18

Look into cult tactics and deprpgramming for tips. Look at how they hook people. Also, address the roots of the issue. Depression, poor self-image/self-esteem, and so on. That's where you'll find your way out. You can do it.
/r/ExRedPill03/12/17 09:46 PM
2

The internet as a whole is addicting. It's full of constant novelty. That hits depressed (and ADD) folks very hard. 4chan and reddit both have that aspect.
/r/ExRedPill01/12/17 05:55 PM
3

Her understanding of it is her responsibility- she's the one who has to live with the consequences. The problem is that selfish people don't see the value in self-reflection, and even when they do look, their lens is skewed. They won't change if they can't see a reason for it. Those on the far end of the selfishness spectrum, abusers and narcissists, are even worse. It's like the Duning Kruger Effect (stupid people don't know they're stupid): really selfish people don't know they're selfish. Bar…
/r/ExRedPill01/12/17 04:55 PM
2

Not typically, I think? It's a little out there from what I've seen. It's likely this guy has some kind of fetish (bimboification, for example) slash control issues.
/r/ExRedPill01/12/17 04:28 PM
1

No problem. :)
/r/ExRedPill30/11/17 04:20 PM
3

It's ok to change, adapt, and grow, but don't misrepresent yourself to find people. That usually doesn't end well.
/r/ExRedPill30/11/17 03:32 PM
3

The "gainz" crew are selfish narcissists; their main goal is usually to pick up women and be more domineering. Working out by itself isn't always a red flag, but doing so excessively usually is. How they talk about it is an indicator of their personality.
/r/ExRedPill30/11/17 03:31 PM
9

Of course it's reasonable to want to find someone who fits your partner criteria. Those people do exist, and yeah, it can be tough to find them sometimes. Conservative demographics are in a state of flux. Many are grasping for "stronger" ideologies because they feel their way of life is dying. Others are adapting and growing. The same is happening with the liberal side, too; ideologies and outlooks are evolving. Be aware that you might find what you're looking for among a more liberal church, to…
/r/ExRedPill30/11/17 03:22 PM
3

It happens sometimes. It's good that you've learned from this and grown as a person. Use those shit experiences as a learning experience, and burn them as fuel to be better.
/r/ExRedPill28/11/17 09:37 PM
5

What she did was manipulative and abusive. Obviously not everyone is like that, but those things have very far-reaching side effects; ones that can take a very long time to heal. Maybe framing it in that context will help you find better resources. Also, make sure to research and understand how your own emotions work, how they influence your thoughts, and how to manage them in a healthy manner. Work to make every year better than the last, as best you can. You can do it, dude.
/r/ExRedPill28/11/17 08:49 PM
12

The problem with the MTGOW ideology is that it's incredibly venomous toward women, to the point where it becomes not just unhealthy, but exceedingly self-destructive and self-reinforcing. No one wants to be around angry people, especially when they're also unstable. Remember: negativity and drama are contagious because they create adrenaline in your brain, which can become addicting. Once it builds a pattern, it's very hard to get out of that. People pick up on this and react accordingly. Learn …
/r/ExRedPill28/11/17 04:27 PM
1

Who they were in the past doesn't really matter. What they do now is what matters. There must be a line drawn somewhere, ya know?
/r/ExRedPill28/11/17 04:06 PM
2

No problem. We're here for ya if you need to talk about it. The hard part to remember is that abuse and manipulation play out on the emotional, subconscious levels, and anyone, even those armed with foreknowledge, can fall for it on occasion. In other words, you're not stupid and this literally happens to the best of us on occasion. You are not lesser because of this, his bad actions are in no way your fault (nor your responsibility), and as shitty as the experience was, now you've got the oppor…
/r/ExRedPill27/11/17 06:15 PM
6

That takes self-awareness. Most folks double down on their beliefs when pushed, even when those beliefs are exposed as shit, partly because their personal identity doesn't exist outside of the group narrative. They cling to what they know out of desperation. It hurts them, but it's comfortable and familiar.
/r/ExRedPill27/11/17 05:10 PM
1

If they're abusers, then they're bad people. Period. They can stop being "bad people" when they stop hurting others to lift themselves up. Aka stop being abusive.
/r/ExRedPill27/11/17 05:07 PM
2

It's adrenaline rooted in fear and loss. That's a powerful drug and it's easy to become addicted, especially if you're depressed.
/r/ExRedPill27/11/17 05:06 PM
7

The central tenet of RP is that women are lesser. Those men (and some women) put women down to make themselves seem bigger and stronger. It's abuse, it's pathetic, and it's ultimately self-destructive. Redpill ideology hinges on abuse and disrespect, and a lot of people don't know how to separate those things from love and support, especially if they've never actually been in a healthy relationship or have an exceedingly low self-image. Some people get off on that level of control, but you know …
/r/ExRedPill27/11/17 05:06 PM
11

To one degree or another, yes. Most of 'em probably don't realize it, but that's a problem with white (male) America more than just TRP itself (cognitive dissonance is a major part of systemic racism). Those on the right, including internet libertarians, are typically worse than others because they don't actually see the impact of what they do, lack the empathy to see it, and well... don't want to see. There's a lot of overlap between the alt-right and TRP.
/r/ExRedPill08/11/17 09:01 PM
1

patriarchy is rooted in misogyny though, because it insists than men know better than women. Patriarchy and creation myths like this one are used to uphold and reinforce misogyny and the concept that women are less than equal (to the point of being considered property, which has occurred through most of history). They are, for all practical terms, intertwined to the point of being two aspects of the same bad concept. It's better for everyone involved to just not bother with that sort of crap. Th…
/r/ExRedPill06/11/17 07:19 PM
4

Personally, I find the garden story allegorical at best. An omniscient Good would know what would happen already and basically set us up to fail. That's not what loving Gods (or people) do. Plus it reinforces toxic and dangerous patriarchy. There are people out there who aren't jackasses. You just have to be good at spotting the red flags in advance do you can avoid the abusers and the disrespectful.
/r/ExRedPill05/11/17 02:44 PM
5

You can hotlink it with the [words](link) format and make it look nicer. You may want summarize it here too to spark some conversation. :)
/r/ExRedPill04/11/17 05:26 PM
8

A lot of people don't know how to emotionally communicate, or how to handle someone who's in emotional turmoil. You have to learn to do it right (no, this doesn't mean just bottle it up) but also find partners who know how to do it right too. It gets easier as people get older and more experienced at self-management. Displaying emotions isn't a weakness. Bottling it up and exploding is. Learn to deal with things when they're small and manageable. Find balance and a calm heart. Remember, unshakab…
/r/ExRedPill25/10/17 03:16 PM
6

that is one problem with the red pill approach, yes.
/r/ExRedPill23/10/17 04:15 PM
5

I'm glad to hear you're in a better place now.
/r/ExRedPill18/10/17 06:33 PM
19

RP does that. That's the goal. You're gonna have to do a lot of internal investigation to root all that crap out. this isn't gonna happen on it's own- you'll have to do the work to be a better person. You know how you should view women, so work toward that.
/r/ExRedPill13/10/17 03:22 PM
5

even the crazy ones don't stick around.
/r/ExRedPill13/10/17 03:22 PM
3

basic tribalism, built on suffering.
/r/ExRedPill13/10/17 03:11 PM
2

They gonna take some corners off your Black Card like that, dude. Unless you're tryin to go full-on Hotep.
/r/ExRedPill10/10/17 04:46 PM
4

Do you believe that the contemporary civil rights movement is misguided, and that you'd support them if they were more like Martin Luther King Jr too?
/r/ExRedPill10/10/17 02:11 AM
18

Sounds like you're anti-feminist and just rationalizing your emotional decision. You do know that most early feminists were quite racist, right?
/r/ExRedPill10/10/17 01:52 AM
18

Beliefs without facts or experience, especially those that actively hurt others, are very dangerous. Try understanding it from a positive perspective. Can you say why someone would be a feminist, specifically without being insulting or belittling?
/r/ExRedPill10/10/17 01:47 AM
3

True, but they feed into each other pretty hard. Work toward both. Even if it's small steps. Find balance.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/17 08:30 PM
3

We as women cannot account for other bad females period! You can't and you shouldn't have to. Their decisions are theirs, your decisions are yours. Everyone deserves happiness and contentment.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/17 02:42 PM
5

Maybe I hated myself to start and just look for something to justify it. It's likely a mental health issue, and you should speak to a therapist. Quit the addictive behavior, don't listen to the intrusive thoughts that tell you you're lesser, and work toward positive solutions. You deserve that. Hell, we all deserve that. You can do the thing.
/r/ExRedPill03/10/17 02:41 PM
8

The "we are the REAL victims here" is always an easy sell, especially to those with social power and to abusers. "The world hates you, but we have the TRUE knowledge" is a standard cult hook, and it works.
/r/ExRedPill01/10/17 01:02 PM
21

Redpill isn't about logic. It's about making the listener feel better about themselves by putting others down. It's a cult.
/r/ExRedPill24/09/17 03:55 AM
2

There really isn't one, and any that were offered would be kind of useless because it would cut out the details. It delves into how cults think, function, and operate. The blog is small, but there's a lot of good content there (especially regarding how narcissists function). It might be easier to just start at the main page and roll backward. Thanks for the link.
/r/ExRedPill22/09/17 01:59 PM
7

This isn't directly related to redpill, but it is about cults, and The RedPill fits the Narrativist definition very, very clearly. Other similar misogynist groups like Incels and MTGOWs do as well. This may help those trying to escape the destructive ideologies understand them better, understand how they function as an ideology, and thus gain freedom from the programming. It's good contemporary political commentary too, but again, that's secondary to the topic at hand.
/r/ExRedPill20/09/17 06:48 PM
25

Those are all neutral, basic things that are part of every self-help guideline. Hell, they're basically gender neutral. And redpill, just like every other damaging cult, does have a few nuggets of truth, because every good lie has a nugget of truth. It makes it easier to convince the gullible suckers. The thing that redpill adds to the conversation is that women are inferior to men. That is literally their point, they make no qualms about stating that, and all the rest is an attempt to sell thei…
/r/ExRedPill16/09/17 06:17 PM
2

good luck with that. :)
/r/ExRedPill16/09/17 06:04 PM
19

Internet dating sites are usually an exercise in frustration. There's a few issues that stand in your way here. Yes, being large is one of them. There are girls out there who like big dudes, but they're not as common. No, this doesn't mean you have to get jacked and ripped- it just means you need to be somewhere close to average size. I know weight loss is rough- it's something I'm struggling with myself, but it's important. first and foremost though- do it for you. It's great that you've got a …
/r/ExRedPill15/09/17 04:12 PM
9

He's looking for any excuse to promote his version of RP sexist bullshit. Rationalization is one hell of a drug, especially when combined with an appeal to authority.
/r/ExRedPill06/09/17 05:17 PM
7

Does Morty get his head out of his ass by the end?
/r/ExRedPill30/08/17 09:02 PM
4

Because they don't make enough waves and haven't gotten reddit enough bad media attention.
/r/ExRedPill24/08/17 03:28 PM
9

BUT MY ANECDOTAL EXPERIENCES
/r/ExRedPill23/08/17 02:48 PM
5

Fuck off with that misogynist shit, boy. No, women don't view men like that. Some might sure, but most don't. I've been dating women for 20 years and this has never been a problem. Don't prop up a misogynist straw argument and then pat yourself on the back for knocking it down.
/r/ExRedPill21/08/17 08:50 PM
1

In a way they aren't wrong- it's assumed to be a woman's job. You know that whole "bitch make me a sandwich" trope? Shit exists for a reason. It's not cooking itself- it's that it's forced upon women to perform that role.
/r/ExRedPill21/08/17 08:13 PM
2

This is so fucking wrong it isn't even funny. Fuck right the hell off.
/r/ExRedPill21/08/17 08:10 PM
1

She did once (it was complicated due to miscommunication about boundaries in the early stage of a poly relationship). We sat down and talked it out, but it and other trust issues definitely damaged the relationship. No, that conversation wasn't pretty, but they never are. We did our best, but sometimes things just don't work out and we got divorced a few years later.
/r/ExRedPill16/08/17 01:36 PM
7

Not at all. If they're cheating, I'm not going to associate with them. I don't need that shit in my life. I've dated (and been married) for the last 20 years. This has only been a problem once. We talked about it and addressed the issue. Don't listen to their bullshit. Don't let them plant their seeds of abuse in you. Don't listen to the intrusive thoughts. Cheating happens sometimes, no one's gonna say otherwise, but it's not nearly that common.
/r/ExRedPill15/08/17 08:23 PM
3

working on oneself is critically important, but only if you do it right. to use a lifting analogy- if you don't have good posture while working out, you'll just exacerbate the problem. The weightlifter's neck hump from bad form is an example of this. the same principle applies to other things. learn to do it right.
/r/ExRedPill15/08/17 05:59 PM
6

Dating is working together. That's literally the point. There's some common goal, and you and whomever else work together for mutual happiness and benefit. Whatever the details are, you talk through it and work through it to the best benefit of everyone involved. Communicate. If you can't do that, shouldn't be dating. "Pushing boundaries" in one direction is called manipulation and it is a major red flag. Pushed further is typically abuse. Don't do those things.
/r/ExRedPill15/08/17 03:33 PM
4

A normal give and take isn't "pushing boundaries", though. That's part of the interpersonal exchange. I help you, you help me, we both win. No boundary-pushing needed.
/r/ExRedPill15/08/17 03:09 PM
11

Shit tests don't exist nearly as frequently as rp would like you to think. taking a combative approach to dating is not helpful and counter-productive. They do this because their entire platform exists to hate on women and put them down. Making guys defensive about imaginary slights creates a sense of hostility and distrust that is more likely to end the relationship/date, which reinforces their own rhetoric. They also push this rhetoric specifically because it makes others appear manipulative i…
/r/ExRedPill15/08/17 03:06 PM
3

Piss off.
/r/ExRedPill14/08/17 03:51 PM
10

Attempting to turn this around on me is very manipulative. Don't do that. I'm not a spring chicken either. Hell, there's a good chance I'm older than you and have been around the block more than you, but that doesn't matter- age is not a mark of wisdom by itself and you know it. I know a lot of people, especially women, who have been hurt by this or the abuse related to it. Yes, I've also dealt with these assholes for years myself- scores of insults, trolling, and yes, even death threats for spe…
/r/ExRedPill14/08/17 02:57 PM
7

Not only is it useless, it's actively detrimental.
/r/ExRedPill13/08/17 05:42 PM
6

I'm not going to write you a book about this explaining my position here, why I hold the views I have, or explain the experiences that have formed them. It would take to long for a format like this. I'd suggest you do your own research, but I don't really expect you to follow through with that. Apologists never do, and it's clear you've made your emotional decision already. Good luck with life, young man.
/r/ExRedPill13/08/17 05:40 PM
9

"Humans aren't perfect" is a piss-poor defense of intentional manipulation and abuse. We have reason and critical thinking skills... and accountability. And yeah, I'll make that judgement about manipulators and emotional abusers. Hold me to the same standard, too. I've done my research, I suggest you do it too.
/r/ExRedPill13/08/17 03:00 PM
11

"You also" is not a valid retort. Don't pretend the sides are equal here, or even that there is some imaginary fallacious middle ground you can reach. If your religion makes excuses for oppression (which is the foundation of trp), you're probably not as good a Christian as you think you are. Do yourself a favor and consider that before continuing.
/r/ExRedPill13/08/17 02:54 AM
12

No amount of apologia is going to make it better, and no amount of white-washed language is going to fix the problem. You know how the southern strategy works for racism, right? Don't fall for the same trap. "Separate but equal" will never be a good or valid argument.
/r/ExRedPill13/08/17 12:54 AM
15

There is certainly hurt there, and cults are predatory toward desperate, hurting people. Follow us, we'll give you messing. It's not your fault that you hurt, it's those other people. You'll have meaning here. It literally uses emotional manipulation and coercion to lure and keep people. But if those people are hurting others, well... I'm really not going to reach out to help them until they stop. I'm going to support the actual victims. There can be no tolerance for bigotry. Not sexism, not rac…
/r/ExRedPill13/08/17 12:31 AM
9

The core of the problem is disrespect for women as lesser beings. Redpill in all its variants is still misogynist shit. No amount of polishing will make it less of a turd. MRP could have the same elements of Dominance and submission, without the bullshit, by adding BDSM to the relationship.
/r/ExRedPill13/08/17 12:27 AM
30

every cult ideology has a few kernels of truth in it. that's how they sell the rest of the bullshit. the problem is that trp inherently sees women as objects and lesser beings. it permeates every bit of the ideology, and over time, those things sink in because your brain stops actively noticing them, even though those things still affect your subconscious. everyone goes through heartbreak. the problem is that they hurt others instead of actually heal.
/r/ExRedPill12/08/17 03:47 PM
11

Probably not. Changing other people isn't really possible. He's got to want to change himself. he needs counseling and therapy, and couples counseling will help too. He's depressed and desperate (due to loss of income), and trying to control you isn't going to fix that issue. You can, however, stand your ground. Don't put up manipulation, abuse, nor disrespect. Expecting you to do all the work at your job and then do all the housework? That's insane and selfish. Let him know in no uncertain term…
/r/ExRedPill11/08/17 06:04 PM
3

You're not pathetic. It's ok to not be ok. Are you getting (professional) help for this? I too wonder if a number of incel and other related guys who feel ugly, deformed, and unworthy have a form of body dysmorphia. Remember, depression lies, and don't listen to those intrusive thoughts.
/r/ExRedPill07/08/17 03:17 PM
1

Height is only one factor, and it's not the only one. Don't dwell on this issue- look for things you can change if you feel the need to improve.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/17 07:04 PM
3

It doesn't have to be literal to make it's point. You think women are dangerous because you've been hurt by women in the past, and you expect women to hurt you in the future. I do understand the concept- it's not fucking hard. "AWALT" is to pull women down. "Off the pedestal" is secondary rationalizing. The reason I say this is because it's always used with misogynist stereotyping. Notice how it's NEVER, EVER a positive statement?
/r/ExRedPill02/08/17 03:50 PM
3

The purpose of the AWALT ideology is to shit on women and tear them all down. That's how it's used: "pulling women off their pedestals" isn't just for Nice Guys to get over their hangups. It's literal misogyny. But... Are you really comparing All Women to loaded firearms? Things That Kill? Jesus fucking Christ on a bike dude. I'm sorry you went through such horrible shit, but you truly need therapy- your worldview is really cocked up, and you dwelling in the redpill cult is exacerbating the prob…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/17 09:30 PM
3

It's utter and absolute bullshit, created as a way to demonize and hurt women. Women aren't some monolithic entity any more than men are. To think otherwise is two-dimensional and foolish.
/r/ExRedPill01/08/17 06:08 PM
3

Learn to understand the concept accurately instead of making emotional kneejerk reactions based on your own feelings and social/experiential lens. Aspergers has nothing to do with it, so don't use it as a crutch. Understand cognitive dissonance while you're at it, and how your experiences reflect your own life, but not others- they are not universal and you should not assume they are. You see it as "men are evil" because that's what you want to see.
/r/ExRedPill01/08/17 04:32 PM
3

I'm sorry you went through that. You're right, lots and lots of people are shitty, and they're shitty in different ways. Those are all good reasons to be angry, but you need to understand how those experiences color your perceptions. Abuse changes how people (especially children) think, and you were very much abused. But there are still aspects of masculinity that are shitty across the spectrum, towards men and towards women. "Men aren't allowed to show emotion or weakness" and "men are aggressi…
/r/ExRedPill01/08/17 03:14 PM
3

Some aspects are, yes. Not those specifically, but others. This coming from someone who's been divorced because sometimes shit just doesn't work out. That's a part of life. You're making a snap emotional decision instead of a rational one, and that's affecting how you're thinking. Take a breath, ask yourself why this topic has your dander up, and explore the reason behind the feeling that isn't just the trigger issue.
/r/ExRedPill01/08/17 02:43 PM
3

You're misunderstanding the term, as I stated. Some of masculinity is toxic, not all.
/r/ExRedPill28/07/17 01:10 AM
4

Emotional venting is fine. I'm on my phone though, so this reply we'll be kurt. The problem with redpill is that it hinges on disrespect. Don't mistake dominance for aggression. The former is good, but the latter isn't. Don't mistake aggression for assertiveness either. Of course looks matter. Anyone who says otherwise is blowing smoke up your ass. HOWEVER, it is only one factor in in the formula for attraction. Attraction is far beyond just the physical. Who you are as a person makes an enormou…
/r/ExRedPill27/07/17 02:45 PM
18

By "help" they mean therapy, dude. a webforum can't replace that.
/r/ExRedPill26/07/17 03:04 PM
9

Divorces and breakups happen whether it's socially acceptable or not. That's just the way of the world.
/r/ExRedPill26/07/17 03:03 PM
9

Be careful about how you frame "biology." Don't use it as an appeal to nature fallacy to rationalize bad decisions.
/r/ExRedPill26/07/17 03:01 PM
1

We can all only do our best. Just because a relationship ends doesn't mean it failed. Good luck to the both of you.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/17 03:23 PM
13

everyone got a mate for life What fucking rose-tinted history are you reading? This is so laughably false.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/17 02:56 PM
3

I'm a 38 year old poly Dom, currently dating three wonderful women. So no, not a woman. Even if I were, the point would stand on it's own. Leave your misogynist ad-homs at the door.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/17 02:54 PM
1

I've been married and divorced too, bro. But if you don't see it going anywhere, then bail out as gracefully as you can.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/17 02:48 PM
1

it's most likely poor communication and somehow making her not feel safe, but I can't be for certain without knowing you both personally. That's usually the kicker.
/r/ExRedPill21/07/17 02:46 PM
15

The whole alpha thing got debunked. While it's good to have idealized goals and role models, it's not good to fall into a dichotomy that puts others down to make yourself feel better. That... isn't healthy.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/17 06:53 PM
23

"security reasons." He got outed as a misogynist shitbag and the political pressure was too much for him to handle.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/17 06:06 PM
3

Two inches shorter than her. Can you not read?
/r/ExRedPill20/07/17 03:36 PM
4

Tell him not to put others down to make you (or himself) feel better. That's not how it works, and it shows that he'll insult you and put you down as soon as things start going south. Such behavior is unbecoming and ultimately marks a person as untrustworthy. In other words, he needs to drop that bad habit. I'd also read up on emotional manipulation and abuse techniques, so that if he uses them you'll be able to label it and shut it down asap.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/17 03:34 PM
1

couples counseling is for people who need it.
/r/ExRedPill20/07/17 02:52 PM
1

I don't know what to tell ya at this point, man. I know my perspective here is pretty limited, but... I'd really suggest you get into some couples counseling and get a mediator. something went really wrong if she's shutting you down, and that can be very hard to identify, let alone deal with, on your own. Providing a sense of safety means understanding and accepting who she is, what she wants, and what's in her best interests, trusting her opinions and judgement. it's a matter of listening and n…
/r/ExRedPill19/07/17 08:38 PM
6

Understanding body language and recognizing nonverbal communication is a different topic that is not exclusive to redpill fuckery. There are a lot of ways to deal with unattractive traits, and to promote attractive traits, without the inherent toxicity of the redpill cult. It's not an exclusive concept invented by them at all.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/17 07:55 PM
4

If you're badgering her about it without providing a sense of safety, then yeah, she's not gonna want to talk about it. You get that, right?
/r/ExRedPill19/07/17 07:52 PM
10

bluepill only exists to mock redpill bullshit. ex-redpill is people getting over (or people helping others get over) redpill bullshit.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/17 06:11 PM
4

If you're not willing to address and fix an issue, then yeah, you should bail. She deserves better. But seriously- all relationships can have problems. How you overcome them marks how successful that relationship will be. If you can't learn to do that, after all you've already been through, then you're just going to keep having the same results.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/17 04:27 PM
10

Because that's what redpill is. It is literally about manipulation and viewing women as lesser; being subjected to that attitude hurts, it's not supportive, and it does push people away. If you're following that mindset, I can pretty much guarantee that you've hurt her in some way and don't realize it. It might be small and seemingly inconsequential to you (you probably don't even remember it), but those little comments can grow into bigger problems, especially when your partner is sensitive to …
/r/ExRedPill19/07/17 03:33 PM
4

If people could choose not to suffer, ya know they would.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/17 02:43 PM
8

"us vs them" attitude, you mean? you're right though- it is damaging. Life is though enough and we should all be working together to make it better and easier.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/17 02:42 PM
7

Your fears of past harm are understandable, but you really need to deal with that and move on. I know that's easier said than done, but still. Also, just because she has mental illness issues doesn't mean she can't be a good and loving partner. It means you have to be better about communication and support. And no, that doesn't mean you have to bend over backwards or be a doormat.
/r/ExRedPill19/07/17 02:30 PM
4

You know, it could also be that you're putting these things up on a pedestal and making her feel pressured about it. Creating performance anxiety is a great way to shut people down, especially in bed.
/r/ExRedPill18/07/17 09:37 PM
14

It breaks down to one thing here: either you trust her or you don't. If you're posting redpill shit, then I'm guessing you don't (because redpill is built on disrespect). Guess what- people notice that. Usually subconsciously, but they do. Those little things add up, and there's a reason she doesn't want to talk about it to you. It's likely you. If she does end up doing those things with others, then you're right- it is you. You need to investigate why she doesn't trust you or feel safe with you…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/17 09:35 PM
12

People treating me like shit is very exhausting. Not everyone can just let the bad things in life roll off their backs. I'm sure you've seen this. Things you can brush off can ruin other people, and things that might ruin you others can brush off. If someone says they're hurting, it's more important to listen. It's important to grow strong, but a life of constant pain doesn't lead to strength, especially when mental health issues are involved. This isn't Conan pushing a wheel in a montage and th…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/17 04:34 PM
20

Women aren't exhausting. People who treat you like shit are exhausting. That is an important distinction, and one it's important to observe. When you're depressed as shit, everything looks like shit. When your parents abuse you, everything looks like shit because it's all you know and it seriously affects your brain. Women aren't a mystery. They're people too, with all the simplicity and complexity that comes with it. Some are good, some are bad. That's just how it works. Please find some therap…
/r/ExRedPill18/07/17 02:56 PM
7

That sounds rough, but you really should talk to someone about that depression. That's a lot of weight to put on someone else, especially someone you dated for six months. It's not healthy. The problem with redpill, incel, and the like is that they're self-fulfilling prophecies. You gotta break out of it.
/r/ExRedPill18/07/17 02:39 PM
9

She's with you. She values you. She trusts you. If she wanted to do something crazy with you, she'd bring it up. If she doesn't feel comfortable or safe talking about the things she wants to do, look into why. If she doesn't want to do those things with you, consider that maybe she had bad experiences with them and just doesn't want to. Are there things you'd like to do with her? Talk to her about it. Anything she did in the past does not reflect you. It's in the past. Value her for who she is.
/r/ExRedPill17/07/17 08:39 PM
1

They don't deny the goal, they deny the people who jump to it specifically to ignore the problems of those they don't agree with. Equality is the goal. Feminism is the toolbox. It has a name based on one very specific trend of philosophical thought. Literally everything else is named for and by men; if the anti-feminists who proport equality can't deal with one label, they need to revisit why feminism and the civil rights movement exist. The answer to your box problem is "both." Be better at mak…
/r/ExRedPill15/07/17 01:39 PM
1

I'm trying to find out why we should not commit ourselves to the annihilation of the attitudes and valuations it stands for. One step at a time. That may be the goal, but we're nowhere near there yet. Universalism (and it's variants, like egalitarianism) is great, but it often has a bad habit of not addressing the problems and not getting anything done.
/r/ExRedPill14/07/17 04:10 PM
1

"masculinity" isn't the policing of men's behavior. By itself it's just a descriptor, but it also functions as a social construct. Some of those actions, which align with bad behavior, are toxic, and some aspects of that social construct are absolutely toxic. Some behaviors that are traditionally viewed as masculine are not toxic. We could totally get away from the gendered term... eventually. We're probably not there yet. There are people for whom this is still a core part of their personal ide…
/r/ExRedPill14/07/17 02:07 PM
1

I don't see it as "artificially narrowing" what is and isn't acceptable. It's about recognizing what is and isn't destructive, and going from there. That may just sound like wordplay, but intent, tone, and context are important; the words we choose to describe something matter, because it also helps deal with laden assumptions and false premises. For example, People doing toxic things are punished by society because those actions are toxic, not because they're masculine. The danger of the "[toxi…
/r/ExRedPill13/07/17 03:34 PM
2

improving your station in life (raising "status", whatever that means) is always important to simply surviving; hell, even just to combat inflation... but it's not entirely necessary as a means to find love and happiness.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/17 02:49 PM
21

Respect is a powerful thing.
/r/ExRedPill13/07/17 02:46 PM
10

Have you spoken to a therapist about this? Don't let the intrusive thoughts get you down, dude. Gently pull your brain away from those lines of thinking, calmly but firmly, as if you were correcting a puppy. Recognizing those negative thoughts for what they are (other people's baggage) helps, but that's only-part of it. That's not who you want to be, so you have to find positive things, ideas and experiences, to replace them. Remember, the emotional part of your brain is logical, but it's not al…
/r/ExRedPill10/07/17 09:42 PM
1

RP is actively destructive. shallow is too polite.
/r/ExRedPill10/07/17 02:40 PM
1

That's a very shallow goal.
/r/ExRedPill07/07/17 02:21 PM
1

You don't have to be some imaginary ubermensch to find happiness or success. You just have to be someone others want to spend time with. You can and should work to be the best version of yourself and to improve, without holding unrealistic standards and then dumping on yourself when you fail to meet them. The latter method is a cycle of failure.
/r/ExRedPill05/07/17 02:40 PM
1

First off, don't set up unreasonable, unrealistic expectations and then shout triumph when your idealized, stereotypical ubermensch gets there while realistic people don't make it. Even those guys don't win all the time. I do know a short fat ugly broke guy who does get laid regularly (at least until he settled down). His name is Charles. I know a tall fat ugly middle-aged mostly-broke guy who does the same (or at least close enough for our example here)- His name is Kent. The difference is char…
/r/ExRedPill03/07/17 05:23 PM
14

I've yet to meet feminists who hold that idea, honestly, and I've been dealing with them for two decades now. In my experience, feminists typically say that it's bad if women are forced into the role, and that the key point of it all is that women be allowed to choose what they want to do. To simplify, consent is the key. Which is utterly reasonable. The idea that women are somehow lesser is, frankly, selfish and short-sighted. If a person wants to be submissive and passive (because those things…
/r/ExRedPill28/06/17 03:39 PM
2

BDSM can take some warmup, but there are books you can read (together) to help get in the right headspace. Fetlife.com has a lot of resources too, esp finding local people to hang out with (like at munches or kink events).
/r/ExRedPill27/06/17 03:11 PM
7

If you feel comfortable with the traditional relationship roles and submission, BDSM (notably the D/s part) might be a better path for you. Specifically because it's built on a foundation of trust, communication, safety, and respect. RP can not provide any of those things.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/17 02:36 PM
1

http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 09:41 PM
2

Absolutely. No one said there weren't. Not everyone can be a movie star (let alone chooses to be), nor is "movie star" the only avenue toward success. That doesn't matter though.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 09:32 PM
2

"I know you are but what am I" is not a valid retort, dude.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 09:20 PM
2

doomed... until they change.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 02:53 PM
2

don't cripple yourself with an appeal to nature fallacy.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 02:52 PM
2

But that means fighting inertia. These guys remind me of the mutant pirates on Davey Jones' ship from the disney franchise. It's easier to let the ship take you than to do the scary thing.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 02:52 PM
2

I truly doubt that. Dude's face looks like a deflated basketball. His gf is sweet but not much of a looker in and of herself. I didn't ask but I'll bet they met in a chat room.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 02:49 PM
2

If your argument can be distilled down to an appeal to nature fallacy, you should probably find a better position to hold.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 02:25 PM
1

How do you think he got that status? He is extremely charismatic.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 02:24 PM
6

He's ignoring anything that doesn't fit his narrow, self-abusive worldview.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 02:22 PM
6

he ain't wrong bro. Everything looks like a high horse when you're down in the shit, and you, boy, are full of it. Go listen to some Pappa Roach, then get your head out of your ass and grow the fuck up.
/r/ExRedPill26/06/17 02:19 PM
9

/r/menslib can help, though we haven't gotten into dating advice (yet). Are you in college?
/r/ExRedPill23/06/17 02:48 PM
16

It's too bad TRP picks certain types of womem and claim "AWALT". That's how cults work, dude, and that's only the tip of the iceberg. the danger is that when you're inside, you can't see all the bullshit and inherent violence because you lack perspective and experience. it's nothing more than a method of turning the bitter and gullible into assholes. understand how the cycle works. cults use acceptance and toxicity to keep people in. "only we understand you. they all hate you. We don't hate you,…
/r/ExRedPill23/06/17 02:47 PM
14

this is so full of bullshit assumptions that I don't even know where to begin with it, so I'm just going to ignore it and walk away. eyeroll.exe.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/17 06:51 PM
9

The ugliest man I've ever met, a giant troll of a dude with lazy eyes, a hunch, and fucking dried foam on his mouth (seriously), with a personality to match, has a girlfriend. I don't know if it's a medical issue or not, but seriously, this guy looks like a lumpy fucking troll. I'm sure he has his good moments, but he's also a belligerent dick a lot of the time. I am kinda shitting on him a bit, but I'm glad they're happy. I don't know what sort of shit he has to deal with in his day to day life…
/r/ExRedPill22/06/17 04:02 PM
1

Sure.
/r/ExRedPill20/06/17 12:01 AM
3

People at that stage of cult conditioning are going to do those things no matter what. It's similar to the bargaining and denial stages of grief. We must help the people in front of us before helping those who are not.
/r/ExRedPill17/06/17 01:25 PM
7

Redpill is a symptom of the greater problems. Most people haven't heard of it, and in the grand scheme of politics, it's insignificant. The political divide has been here forever, but it escalated with the republican propaganda machine in the 90s (esp with the rise of Fox and Rush Limbaugh), then under Bush, and then when the racists crawled out to oppose Obama. Trump pushed it further by being even more extreme.
/r/ExRedPill17/06/17 01:03 PM
5

It's not the direct topic, but it's close enough. Clearly there are those who want to help people stuck in falling into this abusive ideology, so save them the pain and suffering that it causes. Think of it as a pre-emptive, protective action, assuming such a thing is possible. Why complain about it then?
/r/ExRedPill16/06/17 11:42 PM
6

Having to push people away like that sucks. Hopefully he gets his head out his ass sooner than later.
/r/ExRedPill16/06/17 08:00 PM
3

It's a cult.
/r/ExRedPill16/06/17 12:59 PM
1

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Friend_argument
/r/ExRedPill15/06/17 09:01 PM
5

he always seems to insist I'm either lying or unaware of my own predispositions to things. Next time he does this, ask him flatly: "Do you trust me?" and "Do you value my opinions?" If he respects you, he respects your opinions. Disagreements are fine, but he has to be better at expressing that instead of just invalidating you. If he can't treat you with the appropriate respect, then he's not really a friend anymore.
/r/ExRedPill15/06/17 07:35 PM
1

you're not familiar with that particular trope, are you.
/r/ExRedPill15/06/17 04:23 PM
4

A lot of people feel very similarly. It's extremely frustrating for everyone. I hope you can get the support you need. Can you find a local LGBT group to hang out with?
/r/ExRedPill15/06/17 03:46 PM
3

I could be wrong too. just a rumor I'd heard. But there's still a lot of overlap there.
/r/ExRedPill14/06/17 08:29 PM
3

do you have a black friend, too?
/r/ExRedPill14/06/17 05:47 PM
3

about mating I'm not sure MTGOW is the sub for you then. :P
/r/ExRedPill14/06/17 05:47 PM
4

TRP was a breeding ground for the alt-right, do this isn't surprising at all. If I remember correctly, one of the mods founded the_donald.
/r/ExRedPill14/06/17 12:28 PM
8

he's calling you a liar.
/r/ExRedPill13/06/17 08:11 PM
7

Ask directly. Don't guess.
/r/ExRedPill13/06/17 07:25 PM
50

You need to stand up for yourself and call him out on his behavior. Ask him directly why he is choosing to be so cruel and manipulative. Do not play these foolish games. You must not tolerate manipulation and abuse. No one should be in a relationship where they are not respected. Read up on emotional abuse tactics so you can label them, and then use that knowledge to defend yourself. Do not insult me. Do not gaslight me. Do not hurt me. Do not play childish games with me. You are not acting like…
/r/ExRedPill13/06/17 03:40 PM
2

That's certainly a factor; I'm sure the average (in the western world) is probably 2-4.
/r/ExRedPill09/06/17 10:21 PM
20

The capacity for violence is not limited by size, but by intent. Not physical violence, and especially not emotional violence. Don't rail against straw men. Have you ever considered that you, without knowing how, present yourself as dangerous? If you're autistic, there's a good chance you cannot recognize that aspect of yourself. It's probably why your relationship with a sweet kinky girl went south too, but instead you're wholly blaming her. Don't make excuses for rapists. http://www.pbs.org/ne…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/17 02:44 PM
14

It's not a chore. If things go wrong, it's a very real danger. Not every man is an abuser, in fact most aren't, but every woman has, or know someone who has, been abused. A recent survey pointed to a third of men saying they would rape if they thought they could get away with it (15% if you call it rape, 35% if you call it forced sex, which means something like 20% don't even understand what rape IS). Let that sink in for a moment. Are you really upset that women are wary of dudes? Show some emp…
/r/ExRedPill09/06/17 12:53 PM
2

We're trying, but that's hard to fix.
/r/ExRedPill09/06/17 12:49 PM
3

"Graduated and have a job" is kind of a base standard for adulthood these days. I don't think that's what one counts when using the term "status."
/r/ExRedPill07/06/17 12:38 PM
3

Generally speaking, I would assume that "sexual partners" falls in the standard bell curve distribution, just like pretty much everything else.
/r/ExRedPill07/06/17 12:36 PM
3

I've found that the "always and forever rational" ones are the worst offenders for emotional decision making and rationalizing, especially if you hit the right triggers (feminism, gamer gate, etc).
/r/ExRedPill03/06/17 01:07 PM
12

It is possible, but that still comes down to dealing with major mental health issues; something that typically falls outside the range of the idealized normal, which doesn't actually excuse such rampant bigotry.
/r/ExRedPill29/05/17 01:53 PM
2

Not at all. They're all in the 120-130 lb range.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 06:00 PM
1

Those who say that are projecting their own insecurities, based on their assumptions about an issue they don't fully understand and don't want to understand because it challenges their sense of self-authority and ego. It's easier demonize others than question yourself, after all. The accusations of passivity and sexual weakness are just plain laughable to me personally, because I'm a male feminist, as well as a poly kinky Dom with 2 (about to be 3) wonderful, intelligent, feminist, beautiful sub…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/17 03:13 PM
2

Titus goes to the funeral of his ex-girlfriend abuser to confirm she's dead (which is revealed at about 9 minutes in, after a great deal of faux drama). A great deal of the punchlines (and canned laughter) is over how he's ashamed of being a victim and that shame stems from himself and from society at large. Hell, the audience laughs every time he gets punched in the face. It's a very serious topic that isn't covered a lot (rarely, if ever), but this... just isn't presented well. Not to mention …
/r/MensRights11/05/17 09:27 PM
9

I certainly encourage you to be the best man you can be, but don't do it at the expense of your partners. Good men don't push others down to feel strong. If she's happy in service to you, good for you two, but that needs to be her decision. Nurture her. Positive reinforcement always works better anyway.
/r/ExRedPill10/05/17 09:05 PM
10

They're driven by base emotions. That puts sex pretty high on the list. Sex also gets put on a pedestal as a measure of personal worth. If they don't get that tangible, measurable thing, they aren't Real MenTM .
/r/ExRedPill08/05/17 04:10 PM
9

It would probably be a good idea if you both researched emotional manipulation and abuse techniques together, so that you're both better prepared to recognize and label them. Sometimes these things slip out and she can help you catch them, but just as importantly, you can recognize when others (like bosses and parents) do it too. If you feel an urge for control (and she likes that), you can examine bdsm as a way to have that element in your relationship in a healthy manner, but that also require…
/r/ExRedPill07/05/17 12:08 AM
4

They aren't even that different, really.
/r/ExRedPill05/05/17 12:45 PM
1

as a mod there, our answer would be that both partners learn better emotional communication skills, both work to ensure that each others' needs are met, to build a better relationship foundations built upon mutual respect and trust, and in general, work together to meet mutual goals. not to mention dealing with your own personal issues (which is a massive can of worms that deserves it's own books, let alone posts). relationships can be hard, even for those who are prepared and well-adjusted. for…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/17 04:13 PM
2

Good grief.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/17 01:30 PM
20

It's terribly outdated. Using the alpha vs beta dichotomy only serves to make someone feel better about themselves by putting others down, which is not healthy.
/r/ExRedPill04/05/17 12:06 AM
2

Here you go. Have a good boy point.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/17 06:39 PM
3

Did you promote the online donation on other forums or on facebook then? Surely you did something to help, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/17 06:06 PM
3

is that supposed to be satire, or do those knuckleheads take it seriously?
/r/ExRedPill03/05/17 12:31 AM
5

It's much harder to get young men on a path that is optimal but slower when they are laser focused on their immediate physical needs. As I stated elsewhere, these base needs are the truths most cults are built upon, and redpill is no exception. However, it does not excuse the toxicity and destructiveness of the cult. True, but a great deal of that is understanding how certain approaches are destructive instead of constructive, not just for themselves but for others. Education can defeat this, bu…
/r/ExRedPill02/05/17 02:43 PM
8

Dude, redpill has always been toxic.
/r/ExRedPill02/05/17 02:09 PM
11

All proper cults and successful lies have some small kernel of truth at their core. It creates a (false) moral high ground. That's how they create a sense of authority and legitimacy, and it gives their members a defense when the rest of the bullshit is confronted and exposed. This absolutely does not excuse the toxic, abusive, and destructive shit that's piled on top of it of course. Cults like this take a reasonable, relatable issue and twists it far beyond reason.
/r/ExRedPill02/05/17 02:09 PM
1

block the chan sites at the router level if you can.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/17 05:04 PM
2

Ah.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/17 03:54 PM
14

Most aren't. They're just angry, confused, and suckered into a cult-like behavior out of desperation (and other various, more nuanced reasons). They can get over it, if they choose to do so. Some are fucking sociopaths though. Those bastards are stuck.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/17 02:52 PM
5

can you explain what hamstering is?
/r/ExRedPill01/05/17 02:48 PM
2

And if you start with the RP emotional abuse (because that's what it is), then of course they'll fucking leave.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/17 01:16 AM
1

Almost all women are capable and willing of love, both for who you are and how you make them feel (those things are not separable for normal folks). The ones who will love you personally are far less frequent, but that's life. They aren't in any way unicorns. I would seriously suggest therapy for anyone who thinks otherwise. You need therapy, and possibly medication. No shame in either of those.
/r/ExRedPill01/05/17 01:15 AM
8

In my experience, they absolutely see themselves as unattractive. They split guys into two categories- the successful asshole Chads, and them. That's not how the world works though.
/r/ExRedPill29/04/17 05:37 PM
4

not at all. my gfs appreciate the clear communication. however, I do need to ensure that I'm expressing my emotions correctly, allowing me to express my concerns in a healthy manner. that does take practice. for example, not just lashing out or dumping on people at inappropriate times.
/r/ExRedPill27/04/17 06:24 PM
2

And they're not likely to be in one in the future, either.
/r/ExRedPill26/04/17 10:43 PM
13

After reading through some of his comments from the article... that dude is a massive douche.
/r/ExRedPill26/04/17 06:41 PM
5

Emotions are how we translate the chemicals in our brain and body, and our feelings are the reactions to those chemicals, which is an evolutionary process developed over millions of years used to guide our actions in the form of the subconsciousness. a thin layer of rationality and rationalization overlaid onto this as a consciousness doesn't make the former system go away. So yeah, of course we have emotions. We're taught to manage them differently than women (repress vs express), and the testo…
/r/ExRedPill26/04/17 04:50 PM
2

there are a few nuggets of truth, but every good lie contains those. ya have to be able to separate the truths from the lies and the shit, but that becomes difficult to see. there are better ways to do that.
/r/ExRedPill26/04/17 03:57 PM
5

Different functional definition of "deleted", I suppose? I was looking at it from an "intentional removal of that specific thread" point of view vs. a "spam filter" point of view, but the latter is the more accurate approach.
/r/MensRights25/04/17 09:10 PM
3

threads from new posters are auto-filtered for mod review to curb spam. The content of the thread is unrelated to the filtering.
/r/MensRights25/04/17 08:54 PM
5

his thread is still in that sub and has not been deleted.
/r/MensRights25/04/17 07:31 PM
5

That really does not matter.
/r/ExRedPill13/04/17 10:48 PM
25

It's generally not a good idea to blame the victims of manipulation and abuse.
/r/ExRedPill13/04/17 02:25 PM
1

You should probably talk to someone about that. Being on an emotional roller coaster is tough, especially as a teen with no experience managing it in a healthy manner.
/r/ExRedPill05/04/17 05:36 PM
8

they don't "all" grow up. They just take their misogyny out on their daughters.
/r/ExRedPill05/04/17 05:35 PM
5

I respect myself (and women) too much to harbor that sort of attitude. It's abusive, manipulative, toxic, and sets a person up for inevitable failure and suffering. Sure there may be some core truths hidden in there, but well... all good cults have those, as do all successful lies. That doesn't excuse the rest or the damage it does. You can believe in yourself without all the bullshit, and you'll likely be more successful and happier without it.
/r/ExRedPill05/04/17 05:33 PM
17

Just because a relationship ended doesn't mean it failed. It sounds like you're both in better places. :)
/r/ExRedPill05/04/17 05:30 PM
1

Everyone has problems with that, but we get better as we practice.
/r/ExRedPill03/04/17 08:36 PM
1

There is no magic secret. Unlike the movie here, "believing in yourself" isn't actually enough. Po (and his dad) succeeded by busting their ass and working for it. No one really wants to hear that, though. Everyone wants quick answers, but that isn't how the world works. being good at things means practice, which means forgiving yourself (and others) when it doesn't go right and then trying again. two dates are just two dates. these happened to go poorly. it's not a good sample size, especially …
/r/ExRedPill03/04/17 02:51 AM
1

Take solace in the fact that she's being honest with you. A lot of people don't do that, especially cheaters.
/r/ExRedPill27/03/17 05:23 PM
3

Sounds like she's had some pretty bad experiences. From the comments, it sounds like you have too. Ya'll need to work on that. It sounds like you both need to work on some actual communication skills and emotional management. A relationship without trust is doomed to fail. Set a standard rule. If either of you cheat, it's over. have a conversation about what constitutes cheating in advance, too. Actually addressing relationship problems with words, like mature adults, is the best way to deal wit…
/r/ExRedPill27/03/17 03:30 PM
5

Attraction is more than just being nice to women. It's a very complex thing and individuals are all different (especially at different ages; women with positive dating experience are less likely to tolerate asshole behavior). The physical and chemical component of attraction cannot be ignored either, but don't wholly focus on that. Nice is just a starting baseline, but it does not mean passive. One can be assertive and confident without being a rude, abrasive asshole. The framework you're lookin…
/r/ExRedPill27/03/17 03:13 PM
3

Hopefully you can learn from my mistakes. One of the key parts of this is making sure you two both work on emotional communication together. One person can't do all the work. Also, remember this- you can do everything right and still not succeed. Even if the relationship ends later on, that does not mean you failed. All you can do is your best, but ensure that your best continues to get better.
/r/ExRedPill27/03/17 02:48 PM
4

Out of curiosity, how old are you, and how old is she? You're insecure because this is new and unfamiliar territory. That's ok. Remember, healthy relationships are about trust and kindness. Work toward that goal. Have you apologized to her for the bullshit you put her through? Do it, show her what you're working on overcoming and why. It wil lbe easier to get over this shit if she helps you, and you can help her get over her own issues. Even if you both like BDSM D/s relationship structures, you…
/r/ExRedPill24/03/17 02:47 PM
4

That's how cults work.
/r/ExRedPill21/03/17 04:05 PM
2

I've heard this is a good start, but I haven't read it yet. https://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Intelligence-Matter-More-Than/dp/055338371X/ internet articles: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201412/4-ways-improve-your-emotional-communication https://facweb.northseattle.edu/jreis/transformations/emotions_and_communication.htm I'll see if I can find others.
/r/ExRedPill20/03/17 04:38 PM
3

I don't have a book list at hand, but I would wholly suggest investigating clear emotional communication tactics, to better connect to others, as well as manipulation and abuse tactics, so that you avoid accidentally doing those things to others, especially those you care about, in the future. Other general information on dealing with mental health, recovering from cults, and the like would be valuable too.
/r/ExRedPill16/03/17 08:42 PM
3

channel those negative emotions into fuel, learn from the situations, and work to be better. standing still and dwelling won't replace them with better things. if this means that when you run into someone you hurt that you sincerely apologize (though don't go over the top), do it. They deserve it and so do you. Then move on. If the past is brought up, just acknowledge it- "yeah, I was a selfish shit back then." Learning from those mistakes and helping others not make those mistakes in the future…
/r/ExRedPill15/03/17 10:05 PM
1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAHJCPoWCC8
/r/ExRedPill06/03/17 07:17 PM
1

You do know how bell curve distribution for populations work, right? This is a fact in any and every given population of people, regardless of gender, and it is something we all have to work with. There are stupid people out there, just like there are smart people. That's how the world works. We could estimate, but the percentage doesn't matter. You're helplessly biased and you're seeing what you want to see to fit your pre-existing agenda. You know what, nevermind. You've already made your emot…
/r/MensRights06/03/17 03:52 PM
6

It is indeed an abusive cult, but the politics of abuse are very prevalent in modern society. I would wholly suggest that everyone investigate manipulation and abuse tactics, as well as cult tactics, so that you can accurately label it when you see it (in everything from individual actions to politics) and thus react accordingly. Especially with the trp/the_donald overlap. Shit's dangerous.
/r/ExRedPill03/03/17 04:44 PM
3

They're probably self-medicating for mental health reasons, and doing it in a very, very destructive manner.
/r/ExRedPill03/03/17 04:41 PM
1

they fall apart on a lot of basic fallacies, but pretty much all rationalized emotional decisions do.
/r/ExRedPill02/03/17 02:54 PM
3

As basic logic goes, it's also an appeal to nature fallacy, if cleverly worded. https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/appeal-to-nature
/r/ExRedPill01/03/17 07:39 PM
9

Cool article. :) Trevor there... oh Trevor. "Depopulating the white race..."
/r/ExRedPill01/03/17 04:18 PM
6

...aren't RP guys setting themselves up to be exploited too? yes, and also for failure.
/r/ExRedPill24/02/17 07:44 PM
26

If your behavior is all alpha and abusing, what kind of girl do you think you gonna attract? Not only that, but you'll actively repel the smart, sane, and reasonable ones; they can smell that shit a mile away because you'll have more red flags than a communist parade. Why? personal experience with similarly abusive people, or they know someone who went through it.
/r/ExRedPill24/02/17 05:31 PM
3

Who's responsibility is it to create good experiences in life? Society is to an extent, but mostly the individual. You can't control society or other people, but you can control yourself. If you're doing something wrong, take responsibility and fix it. If you have a bad outlook and it's tainting your experiences, address the outlook- looking at the world with shit colored lenses makes everything look like shit, after all. Don't be so stubborn that you see yourself as perfect or above critique- n…
/r/ExRedPill24/02/17 05:20 PM
10

Damn right. Teach everyone.
/r/ExRedPill17/02/17 02:38 PM
2

you've never heard that term? http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/rose-coloured+glasses You see it as deifferent from what it really is. In other words, your vision is colored and not accurate, which affects your judgement. this is related to social lenses: https://www.enotes.com/homework-help/what-social-lens-things-like-racial-cultural-331847
/r/ExRedPill16/02/17 05:07 PM
1

You really, really need to take off your rose-colored glasses.
/r/ExRedPill16/02/17 04:19 PM
3

This shouldn't be controversial at all.
/r/ExRedPill16/02/17 04:18 PM
5

I never bothered with the pickup games or the TRP shit. I'm just here encouraging people to see through it and to encourage success without it. Maybe give her some of the books to read so she can recognize the tactics, and then you can discuss with her why they're hurtful. Know Your Enemy, and all that. You'll also likely want to dig into logical fallacies, critical thinking, healthy emotional communication, and other things as well. Give her the ammo to defend herself, and the strength to be st…
/r/ExRedPill15/02/17 06:44 PM
30

You can't defend her, but you can teach her to defend herself. Teach her about emotional manipulation and abuse tactics, so that when she inevitably is confronted with them, she can accurately label and avoid them. The sooner she can spot the red flags and recognize them for what they are, the better off she'll be. On top of that and everything else, she needs to know and never, ever doubt that she can come to you, regardless of the problem, and that you will always be in her corner and support …
/r/ExRedPill15/02/17 05:59 PM
3

They prey on insecurities, dressed their hustle up in pseudoscience, and formed a cult around it, because people are at their core chemically-driven emotional creatures with a thin rationalizing OS overlaid onto it (more often than not without understanding how either system works), and they know how to take advantage of gullible suckers. Theirs is a sex prosperity cult. The most ironic part... according to a (relatively) recent article, Roosh lives with his mom. Possibly in the basement.
/r/ExRedPill02/02/17 03:46 PM
15

It's really just sour grapes. They can't get what they want, so they insult and belittle.
/r/ExRedPill10/01/17 02:52 PM
2

That's a fair look at it, but then I don't know that particular person, and I as am not FTP, I am forced to speak in generic terms. This is why we have skills like critical thinking and analysis. I would also suggest that you be wary of creating "NO U/tu quoquo" arguments too. Not everything can be gender-flipped though, because social contexts like sexism, patriarchy, racism, and the like do play a part. Be wary of creating false equivalencies or propagating destructive stereotypes- there are r…
/r/ExRedPill04/01/17 07:17 PM
1

Perhaps. But again as I stated, lack of personal experience does make a difference. It's not even about the "inside scoop" but about empathy and understanding, which a lot of people, especially straight white men on the internet, often lack (let's be honest here). Perhaps FTP didn't respond because that's a GREAT BIG can of worms that she didn't want to open (because let's face it, we know how that argument usually goes). One doesn't always need to, or have the time or energy to, dig beneath the…
/r/ExRedPill04/01/17 06:38 PM
7

It may not be a "gotcha" but context is important. People who don't experience something first-hand often don't value it as much, and they're less likely to understand the details and nuances.
/r/ExRedPill04/01/17 04:52 PM
1

Yup. There are some points to address and everyone isn't on the same page yet, but it's getting there and we're moving forward.
/r/ExRedPill04/01/17 02:29 PM
8

Pain and heartbreak are part of the risks we take by living and they cannot be avoided. Hiding from life is pain in and of itself. Being "on guard at all times" creates anxiety and reinforces/amplifies the pain that does occur instead of helping one manage it in a mature fashion. I understand why it exists, but that mindset is ultimately self-defeating.
/r/ExRedPill29/12/16 03:33 PM
9

That is untrue, but I question if I will be able to convince you otherwise. We can in fact do tackle men's issues without being assholes to feminists. It's not actually hard: it just takes the will to do it.
/r/ExRedPill29/12/16 03:14 PM
3

Your post may have been caught by the spam filter or still be under review by mods.
/r/ExRedPill29/12/16 03:12 PM
3

Did I ask for your help? No I did not. It's nice to know you result to ad hominems when you lose an argument. It gives me a lovely perspective of how to value your opinion, and thus you. Shit son, you can't even come up with creative insults. Dread game is manipulating the emotions of others, notably fear, to get what you want from them. That is emotional abuse, and no matter how you spin it, it is unacceptable. If you use this tactic, then you are an abuser. Period. End of discussion. Emotional…
/r/ExRedPill29/12/16 02:38 PM
6

You're not talking about TRP, but I was, and the OP was as well, as is this entire forum. Fuck man, it's even in the name of the sub. Don't be intentionally obtuse. I'm not ignoring what you're saying at all. What you're saying is promotion of emotional manipulation and abuse. On top of that, your entire premise is built on shit assumptions and bad rationalizations. that causing that fear itself isn't what people find questionable YES THEY FUCKING DO. Have you ever actually talked to people who'…
/r/ExRedPill27/12/16 03:14 PM
7

Dude, we're literally talking about TRP's. That's the whole point of the thread, and part of dun dun DUUUUN the context. Weird how that works.
/r/ExRedPill25/12/16 02:43 PM
7

How old are you? What kind of relationship experience do you have? of course it causes fear when you're getting away from someone, and of course fear is a motivator. However, it is NOT a healthy motivator for relationships. Do you think "escaping a bad relationship" is the only situation where redpillers apply this? NO. they use that very normal human reaction as a manipulation tool to get what they want from someone. Typically, sex. "Causing fear" isn't going to save or fix a relationship- you'…
/r/ExRedPill23/12/16 08:13 PM
11

Dude. No. it's not just cheating. it's the emotional manipulation of another to create codependence, which is not healthy. An extreme example (someone who's abusing you) doesn't make it better, because you shouldn't be with that person anyway. if someone is disrespecting you at a party, don't fucking date them. You deserve respect as much as anyone else, and manipulation tactics aren't going to make this better. if you feel things aren't healthy, you talk about it like rational adults. holding a…
/r/ExRedPill22/12/16 02:33 PM
7

This is obviously contradictive of TRP, that advises dread game (as in, being dominant), "dread game" is about putting the partner in a state of anxiety and fear (ie fear that they'll lose you). hence the name. that is not "being dominant", that's just being an emotionally abusive dick. Dominance can be used as a relationship tool successfully (in a healthy BDSM relationship, for example), but it must be built on a foundation of openness, love, trust, and respect. No mind games, no bullshit. Not…
/r/ExRedPill21/12/16 07:02 PM
3

Of course it's gender-independent. A: "more attraction = better relationship" is far too simplistic to be accurate. Attraction is a complex set of variables, and though there is some overlap with "relationship skills", they are still different. How sex affects a relationship is a better and more accurate question. B: People cheat for a variety of reasons, of which dissatisfaction is one. "Because they can" is another, as is "low impulse control", etc. "Alpha" is a reductive dichotomy for an incr…
/r/ExRedPill19/12/16 03:52 PM
1

it depends on what's handy, really. usually I try to do something productive. working on the house, art stuff, grocery shopping, exercise. with your friend... you just kinda have to be happy that she's happy, and spend your emotional energy on others (ie date other people). yeah, it kinda sucks and it'll be a little bittersweet, but aside from "avoid it" there isn't much you can do.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/16 04:08 AM
1

End times thinking is hard to deal with, and it's surprisingly common throughout history (I think it's an externalizing of the concept that one day we all die, but that's a tangent). We're not in the "end times"... but still, things are going to hell in a handbasket pretty quickly, and it's been deteriorating for decades now. I've had my share of those thoughts too, and they're frustrating yet energizing. Those individual topics of thought are symptoms as much as they are causes of the problem, …
/r/ExRedPill15/12/16 10:32 PM
1

recognize what intrusive thoughts are. the typical example is violent or self-destructive thoughts, but it doesn't have to be. anything that's negative or out of place, really. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought https://www.intrusivethoughts.org/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/am-i-normal/201110/intrusive-thoughts-normal-or-not http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/signs/intrusive-thoughts recognize when your emotions are taking control of your thinking, which is similar to the ab…
/r/ExRedPill15/12/16 08:57 PM
1

first: treat the depression and understand how those feelings affect your thoughts. talk to a therapist, maybe get some meds. do what you've got to do. understand how intrusive thoughts work, how you can recognize them, and how to manage them. personally when my thoughts get bad, once I recognize them, I gently correct myself, as if I were correcting a puppy. lead your brain to more pleasant thoughts. you deserve better from yourself. don't talk to yourself like Donald Trump talks to others. you…
/r/ExRedPill15/12/16 07:37 PM
1

One of the other reasons is that we as a society are encouraged to be selfish, distracted, and impatient (in more than just relationships), and the concept of "working it out" kinda goes against that- it's easier to run away or hide than to actually deal with and resolve important issues. Not entirely sure how to address that issue, of course.
/r/ExRedPill07/12/16 07:11 PM
4

Not sure why the sarcasm. TRP is an online cult which preys on human weaknesses (as all cults do); things that can in fact hook smart and educated people, and it's very difficult to deprogram stuff like that. I read an article about a therapist who had piles of experience helping others deal with their abusive relationships, but found herself powerless in the face of her own (which frankly made her feel even more powerless).
/r/ExRedPill06/12/16 05:04 PM
5

I still struggle with those thoughts and resulting anxieties (or is it anxieties and resulting rationalizations?). I'm not sure the difference matters, but the answer is probably "both." Brains are weird like that. Getting out of those comfortable grooves is hard, but good for you for working on it. :)
/r/ExRedPill06/12/16 03:35 PM
3

We do our best. :)
/r/ExRedPill05/12/16 09:11 PM
6

You're certainly welcome here, just like everyone else. If you need to talk about stuff, we're here to listen. You have great value; invaluable, even. Not just the things you do, but who you are and what you will be in the future. No one gets to take that away from you.
/r/ExRedPill05/12/16 06:29 PM
3

I am 21 years old For an ESL speaker you're doing pretty well so far. :) Also, genuine love doesn't just magically appear. It takes time to develop and grow, and it takes effort on everyone's part. You'll get there.
/r/ExRedPill02/12/16 10:01 PM
4

Good for you for understanding how it works. Recognizing it is the first step toward managing it. :) I would suggest you now look toward your own rationalizations about women and their behavior.
/r/ExRedPill02/12/16 05:35 PM
15

The biggest gossips and drama-mongers I've known have been men.
/r/ExRedPill02/12/16 04:39 PM
2

I don't think there's any evidence that women rationalize things more than guys do, and in my experience, men rationalize things just as much as women do You do get that this affects you personally as well, right? Why would you imagine yourself immune? At a basic level, we all function pretty much the same, because we're all built the same way. Sure there are some differences due to hormones and biology, but those are of secondary concern at the moment. We all have the same basic wants and needs…
/r/ExRedPill02/12/16 04:38 PM
7

How old are you? Of course it exists, but it probably isn't going to look like what "love" is portrayed in the movies or literature, because those are idealized dreams of what love "should be.". Love is beautiful and amazing, but it also hurts like nothing else at times. I know that sounds vague, but consider all the novels written about love, not to mention man's search for meaning and fulfillment in life. You won't really know what it's like until you experience it first-hand. TRP, MTGOW, and …
/r/ExRedPill01/12/16 06:49 PM
14

The "Chad" talk is additional baggage that doesn't need to be in this information. It's also a bad assumption. Leave it out.
/r/ExRedPill23/11/16 03:31 PM
7

I'm not sure what reply to "this sub isn't supportive", especially based on bad information, one would expect. His post is basically judgemental troll bait.
/r/ExRedPill15/11/16 10:02 PM
13

We are supportive. Your perception bias doesn't change that, and your axe to grind against feminists doesn't change that. This isn't the place to rail against straw men.
/r/ExRedPill15/11/16 03:08 PM
11

If you learn from your mistakes and understand why some of the things you think are bad, then no. If you double down on the bullshit, then yes.
/r/ExRedPill03/11/16 03:40 PM
58

The vindictive bitterness toward women and the view that they are lesser creatures is typically the core complaint, and there are a lot of bullshit ideologies that stem from there.
/r/ExRedPill02/11/16 07:48 PM
9

I think you'd have to do a little more introspection to decide if you don't see women as equal. Complaining that you don't have enough sex is one thin topic, but may not actually be a reflection of the whole. Everyone is allowed to complain if their needs aren't being met. How you complain is also something to consider. Understanding what misogyny looks like, how it feels to be on the receiving end of such assholishness, and what "the patriarchy" means (and how it affects you) is probably someth…
/r/ExRedPill31/10/16 01:59 PM
9

Redpill is a cult. They take a nugget of truth, hold it up as their moral high ground, and wrap it in their own personal brand of bullshit. This becomes the bait for new followers and people like you. Eventually the toxicity outweighs everything else, it becomes a reinforcing cycle (they're the "only ones who understand"/love you), and that's all you see. All successful cults do some variant of this. There are a lot of sources online for cult deprogramming- perhaps investigating those will give …
/r/ExRedPill18/10/16 02:19 PM
3

Even if your life experience in high school sucks... life does get better. The sooner you can get a handle on emotional management and communication, the easier life will be. There will always be the risk of suffering. It simply cannot be avoided, and it is part of the human condition. Since one cannot avoid suffering, then you'd might as well pursue the things that bring you contentment and joy, no?
/r/ExRedPill17/10/16 08:53 PM
6

Have you talked to a therapist about this? It's good that you can control your actions, but you need to go deeper. Look inside yourself. Why do you feel women have power over you? Insecurity? Depression? Low self-esteem? Bad experiences with women in your past? These feelings have roots, and it's important to understand them if you want to actually change for the better. Don't beat yourself up for whatever you find of course, but understand that you shouldn't deflect the responsibility for whate…
/r/ExRedPill06/10/16 05:16 PM
3

It's not faking happiness, though. It's being happy in spite of the things that had previously stood in the way. If there are things you can change, change them. If there are things you cannot change, beating yourself up about them won't make anything better, so there's no point in worrying about them. Remember, depression lies.
/r/ExRedPill21/09/16 07:19 PM
1

You are in an abusive relationship. You should leave, and you should probably speak to a therapist to help you with the self-esteem issues. Please get help.
/r/ExRedPill21/09/16 06:45 PM
11

His decisions are not your fault, and they are a reflection of him alone.
/r/ExRedPill14/09/16 03:34 AM
8

incel/truecel sounds like a "no true scotsman" bit of ego one-upmanship and I wouldn't go anywhere near it. If you want to change the path, you'll need to use a different brand identity.
/r/ExRedPill01/09/16 02:17 PM
11

Somehow, I don't think they get into the differences between Dominance and being a belligerent asshole...
/r/ExRedPill16/08/16 02:33 PM
4

Pseudoscience is difficult to combat sometimes, especially when talking to people who want to believe it.
/r/ExRedPill16/08/16 02:32 PM
29

It's a cult centered on loneliness and resentment.
/r/ExRedPill05/08/16 02:40 PM
3

Good luck with it, dude. Hopefully it's a nice and smooth ride.
/r/ExRedPill05/08/16 01:42 PM
19

Don't think so highly of yourself. You've only found the limit of my politeness. Nothing more. Take your pseudoscience and go.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/16 10:04 PM
17

Not to be rude here, but this... is the most ridiculously, stunningly, foolishly neckbearded thing I've read all month. I don't even know where to begin here, and frankly, I'm not even going to try. You truly need to rethink your position. You yourself even admit that it's fucked up.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/16 09:19 PM
6

Women wear skirts because it lets their pussy dry better, air out. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/20t22m/how_did_it_come_about_that_men_wear_pants_and/ Nowadays, women wear skits because they're more comfortable.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/16 08:49 PM
24

People are both emotional and logical. We are all conditioned to react certain ways, and the conscious and subconscious processes we have are not gender-specific. Comparing women to dogs is fucked up and you should not do that, especially when talking to someone who doesn't understand how others think.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/16 08:42 PM
19

This is beyond the scope of what the internet can help with. You need to talk to a therapist about that. Seriously.
/r/ExRedPill04/08/16 01:34 PM
7

I understand that you can't understand women's perspectives, but you can understand the RP perspective. How you can do that is a mystery. Have you actually talked to women about their experiences? In person? Or have you just read about and agreed with RP strawman caricatures about women? Women operate with the same logic and thought processes that men do- we're not really that different. how what? how to learn empathy? there are a lot of answers on the internet, like this, but using your imagina…
/r/ExRedPill04/08/16 01:33 PM
13

I am stuck in the mentality of if I am not owed what I really want I will take it. this is sociopathic behavior and you need to fix that immediately.
/r/ExRedPill03/08/16 01:31 PM
12

There are counseling groups that offer discount sessions with grad students. look into those? If you were trying to find women talking about their life experiences... TRP is the exact opposite of that. I have no idea how you were able to jump from one to the other. However, this sounds like an empathy issue. You really need to learn to empathize with those who are different- it's a critical life skill.
/r/ExRedPill03/08/16 01:30 PM
12

Being aware of your thought process is the first step toward fixing them. This is probably something you'll want to get hands-on help with, specifically so you don't accidentally fall into any cognitive traps. Can you talk to a therapist to help you work through it? A good way to start may be to find groups of women online, listen to them talk about things (aka lurk), and whenever you feel like stalking/researching/looking into any specific one, remind yourself that it does not matter and gently…
/r/ExRedPill02/08/16 03:04 PM
14

The least controversial thing TRP tells its members to do is work on themselves with things like working out and getting into hobbies, and that sounds a lot unlike blaming women for not liking you. Every cult is built around some kernel of truth. The hard part is sifting that truth from the bullshit and understanding how the myopic lens changes the truth into something dangerous.
/r/ExRedPill18/07/16 01:11 PM
2

People are pain-avoidant, but also change-avoidant. Yeah, it's scary. No, it isn't easy. I never meant to give the impression that it was easy, but nothing in life worth doing is. All external factors aside, we deserve our best, but that will not, can not, come without hard work. I don't just mean lifting weights either. Slow personal inertia is incredibly hard to break. Everyone will have their own methods, but the key principle is that bitterness and hatred are self-defeating. It will show thr…
/r/ExRedPill08/07/16 01:13 PM
2

It's better than the alternative.
/r/ExRedPill08/07/16 12:19 AM
1

One thing I hate about the "fake it" mentality is that it is unnecessarily negative. People get better at skills because they practice. Recognizing that you're a noob at something, practicing, learning from your mistakes, and improving is how one develops confidence in the skill. No need for the facade or the lies (not just to others, but to oneself), because those lies undermine confidence, self-worth, and success. The second thing I dislike is recursive and self-reinforcing nature of negativit…
/r/ExRedPill06/07/16 04:13 PM
3

High five. o/
/r/ExRedPill01/07/16 02:39 PM
3

Most of the redpill shit sounds like it should come from the asshole foil character on a sitcom. The one that makes the wacky protagonist look sane and normal. Modern-day Archie Bunker kinda guys, but less the lovable curmudgeon and more Dennis Landry from Jurassic Park (Newman, but quietly, opportunistically violent). I don't find it sad/funny, because typically I don't like taking pleasure in other people's discomfort. Guys like that just make me kinda... depressed. There's enough hardship in …
/r/ExRedPill30/06/16 09:17 PM
6

Thanks. I haven't had to deal with redpill issues in particular, but the things I have dealt with are close enough, and these are some of the things I had to work on myself. Life is hard enough sometimes, and hopefully people can learn from my experiences and mistakes.
/r/ExRedPill30/06/16 07:32 PM
17

That fantasy issue you point to is actually a problem with accomplishing things in general. If you, say, are writing a story, if you you spend too much time rolling it around in your brain, you're actually less likely to actually do the work and finish the project, because your mind considers it complete and there's less motivation to actually do it. It's a very common pitfall, and I can certainly see how it would apply to dating. That, and getting out of fantasy-land is scary sometimes. There's…
/r/ExRedPill30/06/16 02:11 PM
13

women are people. No more, no less. Some, like your mother, aren't positive for you (to put it mildly), but others are. Be kind to the ones who are, and to the neutral ones (where most other people are). Keep one thing in mind: everyone is doing their best. Understanding that you're carrying your mom's baggage might help. If she was bpd, had other mental health issues, or was just a weapons-grade asshole... the shit you're dealing with has its roots in her poison. You don't have to carry that an…
/r/ExRedPill26/06/16 10:27 PM
3

You literally said modern women were whores. Stop lying. No I don't want all women to be whores. I don't give a fuck, and I don't need women to lower their standards to sleep with me (let alone turn themselves into nothing more than sex objects). People have more value than just for sex, and the meaning of life is more than just sex and getting your rocks off. What is your malfunction? I'm serious. Did someone touch you as a kid? Did mommy not love you enough? You have a severely dysfunctional m…
/r/ExRedPill24/06/16 09:31 PM
1

Women aren't all whores, you ignorant fool. To think that is phenomenally stupid, misogynist, and flat-out wrong. I get laid more than enough, in significantly more interesting ways than you ever could. A crucial part of that is because I respect women and treat them well. I've been to the parties you want to go to, and done the things you fantasize about, and you know what- you'll never be invited to the cool reindeer games with that attitude.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/16 09:10 PM
2

You literally said in another reply that you thought women were whores. No, I don't want all women to be whores. It's not my decision what they want to do, and your position is absurdly juvenile and disrespectful. Grow the fuck up.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/16 06:39 PM
1

Redpill is women-shaming. Everything else is secondary.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/16 01:47 PM
3

That's... an incredibly selfish and shallow ideology. Trying to fit into the sex-positive community as an anti-feminist is gonna be really damned hard, because they, quite correctly, do not like people with your current mindset. If you actually think all women are whores, they'll throw you out on your ass faster than you can blink. So yeah, there are pro-slut communities and they're a lot of fun, but none for the disrespectful, the anti-feminists, or the pump and dump chumps.
/r/ExRedPill24/06/16 01:46 PM
2

You shouldn't lose your personality in a relationship at all, unless that relationship is abusive. A good relationship enhances the positive qualities in your life, and that of your partner. The only thing you might lose is free time, but that's kinda the point. Being apathetic in a relationship is a good way to lose the relationship. You shouldn't put your partner on a pedestal and become a doormat, but you shouldn't be distant either. Find a healthy middle ground.
/r/ExRedPill22/06/16 12:18 PM
1

What do you feel are the right answers?
/r/ExRedPill21/06/16 05:01 PM
1

Well... learning from the mistakes of others, and what not to do, is an important step also.
/r/ExRedPill14/06/16 09:29 PM
2

But on an emotional level, I just get so upset that sometimes the mention of it makes me feel like I should just drop out of university because I have a "female brain" that can't do anything Recognize that these are intrusive thoughts, that they're (sometimes very subtly) self-destructive, that a lot of people deal with them, and that they're not a reflection of you as a person. When you get in that mindset, gently guide your thoughts away, as if you were correcting a puppy, focus on your breath…
/r/ExRedPill14/06/16 09:03 PM
1

There's certainly significant overlap between TRP and MRA groups, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/16 09:41 PM
1

The best lies all have kernels of truth. That's how manipulation works, and something that cults rely on; TRP is no different, which is why it's so hard to deprogram. Perhaps viewing TRP as a nonreligious cult may help? It functions very similarly in many ways. link
/r/ExRedPill08/12/15 06:06 PM
12

How old is he? If he's using those manipulation tactics on you, it means he doesn't respect you. If he can't respect you, you mustn't be in a relationship with him. You need to tell him that, and you need to be firm with your boundaries. You're going to have to stand up for yourself first and foremost, and if he continues to cross those boundaries, then you leave. It's really that simple, and yeah it fucking sucks. If that happens, make sure he knows specifically why you're leaving, but do try t…
/r/ExRedPill08/12/15 05:52 PM
23

The conversation ended with him grabbing my ass and loudly humming a made up tune for at least a minute. Sadly this. He can only fix himself.
/r/ExRedPill08/12/15 05:47 PM
1

25 is definitely still young. The best thing you can do is politely and calmly confront him on any bad behavior that might surface, and explain why it's not a good thing. It will hurt his feelings a bit (because no one likes feeling scolded), but if he's any sort of reasonable person, he'll make an effort to understand and continue to do his best in the future. Try not to make it an emotional argument if you can, but that's hard. Just make sure to give some positive reinforcement, too.
/r/ExRedPill08/12/15 05:43 PM
-5

It's not a hard thought process, actually.
/r/MensRights17/11/14 11:10 PM
-7

STOP OPPRESSING ME, TINY HUMAN.
/r/MensRights17/11/14 07:04 PM
-9

then wear a polo. shit's not hard, yo.
/r/MensRights17/11/14 05:11 PM
-18

Tacky shirts have their place, and I have yet to see anyone have a problem with the shirt itself (I'm sure they exist, but as far as I can tell, they're a rare minority). The issue people have with it is that it's not work appropriate, and especially not while representing larger groups (NASA, STEM fields, Scientists, etc) on television. This is a legitimate criticism, and the anti-feminists are waving it around as PROOF FEMINISTS R STOOPID. I wish I could say that was hyperbole on my part, but …
/r/MensRights17/11/14 04:34 PM
-11

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/11/14/matt_taylor_of_the_rosetta_project_wore_a_tacky_shirt_icymi_shirtstorm.html It's not professional for international television, and a lot of STEM women find it symptomatic of the misogyny they deal with in the workplace. Anti-feminists circled the wagons and trumpet this criticism as proof all feminists are wrong.
/r/MensRights17/11/14 04:31 PM
-10

One's an interview on international television. The other's a photo taken on a beach. That's not hypocrisy, you just aren't understanding context.
/r/MensRights17/11/14 04:28 PM
1

hop over to /r/bdsmcommunity. "Dominant in life, submissive in home" is actually very common and nothing to be ashamed of.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/14 03:01 PM
1

It's not a feminist nightmare if you choose to be a doting housewife. From what I understand, the choice is the whole point. Pick up some D/s literature with your husband, read it, and discuss it together. Having a healthy vocabulary to talk about these things together helps immensely. Find ways to be happy, healthy, and supportive together.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/14 02:57 PM
1

she's already pigeon-holed you. in all likelihood, you won't break out of the role you're in. Tell her! Be direct with her about your feelings, and then make her explain her actions about why she doesn't want to pursue a relationship. Don't pussyfoot around it or hope she'll see you for who you are- she won't. She likely doesn't know how to be in a relationship, but you're not going to break her of the and habit by being a passive "nice guy." Maybe she wants a challenge? I don't know, but if you…
/r/seduction02/08/11 03:44 AM
8

neg yourself- "I'm a delicate flower."
/r/seduction01/08/11 02:18 PM
5

so she's a virgin, but still leading you around? you're not an FWB, you're in the friend-zone, and she's manipulating you for her own enjoyment, like a cat playing with a mouse. by withholding herself, she's making herself valuable (and it's working). when she says she doesn't want a real relationship, ask her what's holding her back. if you don't want one, why are you complaining? if you just want to fuck her, admit it to her. if you want a polyamorous relationship, explore it. if you just want…
/r/seduction01/08/11 02:16 PM
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