TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

virginiadancer Archive

View 0 posts and 292 comments by virginiadancer on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
33

That OP and I among other women in this sub arguing against this podcast spent last weekend in DC marching against GOP policies which Elle voted for. Seriously. Women are dying because of their legislation. Stop playing nice with these people, OG. THEY WANT YOU DEAD. And at the end of the day, activists like u/twohagsover30 and me are going to be the ones driving you and paying for your abortion/ vaccine/ antivirals/ STI meds when you need it. Elle won't be. So yeah, I'll be mad about it. I'll b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 12:48 AM
14

I upvoted you. I think you are bringing up a good point- that FDS should be criticizing everyone. I'm inclined to agree. But bringing on a redpill GOP supporter is not the way to do it. Your comment makes it sound as if you support the podcast, but I don't think that's your intention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 12:44 AM
60

On the line? You mean canceled. They are canceled in rural America, Ohio, Texas, and soon will be in Florida, Alabama, and Oklahoma. The dystopia is here, ladies. Help us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 12:40 AM
34

I live on a farm in Appalachia. She said herself that she is a gold star Republican. That means she has always voted GOP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 12:20 AM
34

Well said. 👆🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 12:13 AM
6

PM sent!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 12:12 AM
73

If you vote GOP, you are voting anti-women. It's their entire platform. Also, please don't pull the "well what about the left." Come on, OG. You know this is a strawman argument. It's like every man ever saying "but what about men who have been sexually assaulted??" One party just passed legislation to kill us in Texas. One party did not. Are leftists bad too? Sure. But that's not what I'm talking about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 10:05 PM
43

I'm slightly paraphrasing. She said that men were the generals and women were the majors and that women could never be higher up than men on the hierarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:54 PM
188

EXCUSE ME? REACTIONARY??? They took away our rights in Texas. They are doing the same in Florida, Ohio, Alabama, Mississippi, and Oklahoma. WE SHOULD BE OUTRAGED. What rock have you been living under? A political opinion??? Ladies, the GOP is ACTIVELY passing anti- women policies. This isn't a drill. This isn't a dystopia fantasy. This is reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:51 PM
44

But they are Nazi Nazis. They call themselves Nazis. Its literally the neo-Nazi party. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:43 PM
59

Bingo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:41 PM
44

Right but why give her a platform as their very first political guest on a podcast then??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:10 PM
63

Yes I do. I am familiar with their platform. They came to my town in 2017. This isn't history. This is happening NOW. Complete with swastikas, torches, and killing people. Charlottesville VA. Look it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:04 PM
96

But she did vote for Trump. She said she was a gold star Republican. I'm sorry your family thinks other issues are more important than women's rights.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:02 PM
55

GOP strategy is twofold: get the evangelicals to vote for an anti-women platform and get the Nazis to vote for an anti-black platform. Add in a dose of anti-science so you can kill some of your voters in a very weird self own. If you support the GOP, you support their platform. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:01 PM
49

I love you. Also they'll take your pinkies too. ✂️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:54 PM
77

Not if she's still voting for Trump. Actions over words, no?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:52 PM
64

Yup. Although that wouldn't be allowed, since they can only talk to Fred.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:46 PM
213

She also self-identified as a redpill woman (so Tradwife?), said that men should lead, and explained that conservatives vote for their own self interest (ie anti-black?). Elle spouted facts. This is what conservatives believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:39 PM
20

Sorry- there may be a misunderstanding here. The FDS mods created the podcast. It's specifically a political podcast. Based on the posts, it's been in the works for a while. I did not produce or create any political posts here. I scrubbed my history when I left Reddit a year ago, but you can still see my comments from old. The mods/ podcast hosts have created a political discussion and their first speaker was a self-described Redpill Trump voter. What. The. Fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:26 PM
35

Then why have a political podcast?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:10 PM
28

If it's not about ending the patriarchy, then it must be... FOR the patriarchy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 07:58 PM
58

I and some of the other women that OP is posting about most certainly are women. We have been verified by the mods on discord and we were marching in DC last weekend. I started a rape crisis hotline in my state. I started a women's center at my college. I worked on several pro-choice campaigns. I was there in Charlottesville. I doxx Nazis. I, and some of the other commenters in the threads are actively working to dismantle Trump policies yet FDS chooses to host a Red Star Republican because she'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 07:55 PM
39

I wasn't being sarcastic. You don't think FDS wants to end the patriarchy. I agree with you. And for that reason, I'm out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 07:49 PM
119

I can say I'm sober. But if I consume 5 Manhattans every night, I am definitely NOT. I am a pro-alcohol binge drinker. I can say I'm pro-choice. But if I vote for the party whose literal platform and strategy is anti-chocie and whose policies JAIL doctors for having abortions, I am definitely NOT. I am an anti-choice voter. Women who vote for bigots like Trump and Abbot can claim whatever identity they want. At the end of the day, they are anti-women voters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 07:48 PM
63

No, it is clear FDS wants to keep it trucking. Like Elle said, the men should lead and women should follow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 07:41 PM
181

So are we going to bring Tradwives and Pickmes to come be guest speakers as well? Trump, Abbott, and DeSantis have systematically destroyed women's access to health care. No, we do not need to sit down with their supporters and welcome them with open arms. Sis, when you experience pre-eclampsia and die due to a lack of access to a medically necessary abortion, be sure to come back here and tell me how Elle- along with all the other anti-abortion voters- is helping you end the patriarchy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 07:37 PM
665

In case you haven't been paying attention, the white supremacist misogynists elected Trump using an anti-woman platform. Seriously, that's how they convinced white evangelicals to vote for him. 'Don't judge him on his personality, but vote against women and POC' was their entire platform. These people had actual tiki torches in Charlottesville. Were you there? I was. People who apologize for (and vote FOR) the alt right, the anti-women, anti-science, anti-POC policies have no business, at all, i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 07:31 PM
60

In case you haven't been paying attention, the white supremacist misogynists elected Trump using an anti-woman platform. Seriously, that's how they convinced white evangelicals to vote for him. 'Don't judge him on his personality, but vote against women and POC' was their entire platform. These people had literal tiki torches in Charlottesville. Were you there? I was. People who apologize for (and vote FOR) the alt right, the anti-women, anti-science, anti-POC policies have no business, at all, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 07:18 PM
127

I came back to FDS after a year off Reddit and I was super excited to see the podcasts. Then I started listening. WTF IS THIS? Seriously. What. The. Fuck. Mods, where are you??? WE ARE MARCHING IN THE STREETS FOR OUR LIVES and now you invite a Trump supporter to the table to 'listen to their side'??? I was there in Charlottesville. Where were you?? I was there in DC last weekend. Where were you? Because women like Elle are voting FOR policies that are killing women. I. Am. Appalled. Shame on you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 05:40 PM
5

It really is the best reminder that staying single is a great choice! 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 02:55 AM
1

Same! We don't have many cases here, but our restaurant scene basically died (takeout only on a Thurs-Sun limited schedule for the healthy option restaurants that somehow survived the shutdown). If I don't do takeout and park option, I guess I'm SOL for the next X number of years? I went on one of those dreaded park plus picnic dates with a foodie (aka home chef) and it was one of the best meals I've had in the last year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 01:32 AM
6

I empathize completely. I'd like to tell you that it gets easier but as you approach 30, you'll find more and more of your acquaintances and friends drop off to get married, have kids, and/ or move away. I often lament our single family household society and wish we had a more communal lifestyle here in the US. My therapist recommended escapism and its really helped me quite a bit- I started movie night with one friend who is out of state and a gamer night with another. I have no intention of ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 02:13 AM
67

First of all, hugs to you. Feeling lonely is a normal, natural part of being a human being. We've all been there, even those of us on here that are going our own way. It sounds like you're doing everything you should be doing regarding your studies, career, and self care. You mention not having someone to be there to share the burden, cook for you, and share life with. I would HIGHLY recommend finding single girlfriends. All of mine are hobby buddies. Single ladies really 'get it.' They talk les…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 03:07 PM
79

Concentrate on YOU: your career, your studies, your hobbies, invest time in self care and your HVW friends and family. As a HVW, you'll attract everyone from negative to high value, and thats what the FDS handbook is for!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 06:20 PM
10

Too bad their idea of beauty is a beer stained sofa with old Pringle chips hidden behind the seats in a mancave that smells like musty socks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 01:47 PM
2

I'm sorry this happened. To answer your question, I take my dog running, hiking, and pretty much everywhere. He's big, he's dark, and he's introverted/ not interested in meeting people. If you can't get your own, you can maybe borrow a neighbor's when you go running. As a bonus, they also give you kisses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 04:18 PM
3

For me, Covid has changed the landscape. I live in a very rural area. We went from a vibrant little foodie scene to only 3 restaurants that are currently open. None currently have any healthy items on the menu due in part to massive seafood shortages and a huge demand in comfort food. For personal health reasons, these choices are totally unacceptable and will be for some time. There is the possibility of me driving to the next city over, but honestly 1) with covid this is probably not a good id…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 12:36 PM
10

Here its costs about 50$ per person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:27 PM
13

Oh it was completely gourmet, everything fresh and pretty amazing. He is clearly a home chef. Our park system here is amazing, we have a huge tourism industry here because of it so everything is scenic haha. That part is super low effort. I assume the men are multidating as well. Why would I be the only woman he took to climb rocks? I wouldn't assume I'd be the only woman he took to a particular restaurant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 11:18 AM
20

I went on one of the dreaded walk dates. My date brought a home cooked meal and an excellent bottle of wine to share in the park. It was fantastic, as he put in alot more effort than simply paying for a meal at a restaurant. I've also been invited to go rock climbing, jet skiing, motorcycle riding, fishing (I'm an outdoorsy person in an area with tons of sportsmen). Disclaimer: We have fewer than a dozen active covid cases here with minimal community spread.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 03:00 AM
1

Preach! Haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:38 PM
14

Commitment. As a positive, I am completely immune to future faking. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 01:54 AM
26

Why bother? Isn't that what our lady friends are for?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:47 AM
2

Oh yeah, agree totally. What I'm confused about is when she says " This is this furthest I’ve gotten in the breakup process out of the many times throughout the years I tried to end it." And then proceeds to talk about receiving his text messages. I don't understand this. What FDS describes- the simple call/ text and block and delete is hardly what I would describe as a process. It literally takes 5 seconds. "We are done" Block/ Delete. Ok. You've now finished the break up HAHA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 10:27 PM
4

Neither do I, sis! That's why we aren't 'mature' just yet! haha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 02:40 PM
8

Here in the US we live to about 75-80. Nearing 40 to me is middle aged- we are all literally more than half way through our life. What else would we be? I'm not sure English has a good word for us but we are most defintely NOT young adults haha- most of my friends with kids have teenagers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 02:06 PM
12

I have found many HVM, as have my friends (35+). Like you, I find that many of the posts on FDS are more suited for the younger ladies. I am still collecting some thoughts to put together a post for us middle-aged women including a guide to online dating, some of the issues we have encountered, and general challenges for dating over 30 as a woman. My closest single friends are: (1) "L", a radiologist, dates only men she meets professionally- other researchers, PhDs, and MDs. She is also often se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:07 PM
3

I'm not sure what you mean by breakup process. In FDS, the procedure is clear: 1) Call him and tell him you're done. 2) Block and delete 3) Have a friend get any stuff you may have left behind 4) Have a wine night with the ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:22 PM
5

Interesting! At that party, every woman had a background in education except for three of the women who were artists. I find this fascinating! No man has EVER talked about me quitting my job. Then again, come to think of it ... all the men I've dated went on to marry SAHMs. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:43 AM
13

Well I'm not interested in marriage at all so I could careless about being picked, ever, by anyone. But the stats on this are interesting. Women are outperforming men and overachieving men are choosing less ambitious partners. I personally feel like my friends and I have leveled up past nearly all the men we meet. I've never been particularly interested in marriage, but it saddens me for my friends who want a man with a similar educational background and set of achievements.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:39 AM
4

I also should have put more caveats onto my post as well. I do not think any of these particular women I met were getting short changed. They all had degrees and all told me they planned to return to the workforce once their kids are a bit older. But the careers and fields they chose (mostly teachers) were not high powered, high status, or money making careers. It was shocking to me that these men chose women whose interests were sooooo different. Nothing wrong with being a SAHM, or a teacher, i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:29 AM
2

Oh I TOTALLY. It made sense for the women. But not one of those men chose a career driven or childfree woman, that was odd to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:21 AM
47

I disagree; in fact I see this when the roles are reversed all the time! I went to a party (pre covid) last year for local businesses and investors- an exceptionally well-educated, ambitious crowd. About 50 couples. Excluding the LGBT couples and the 2 businesswomen (myself and one other), every single man had a well-educated, full time stay at home mom by his side. This exemplifies two things: 1) These women found money making successful men to have their children with. Good on them to have chi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:59 AM
5

Adding to all the other comments to say its also perfectly normal to feel lonely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:36 AM
1

'Man of her dreams' bahahhahhahaa I'm dying 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 01:34 AM
5

I was never married, although like you all the women I meet who are super independent are divorced as well. I guess I got lucky in that I never met a man that could convince me to stick around long enough to marry him. LOL The picket fence life never appealed to me, even as a young woman. I always dreamed of seeing the world so that's what I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:09 PM
15

You can do it! My next big trip is going to be scuba diving in Nicaragua with a friend and this winter I'm going to be driving sports cars in Florida. CF has enabled me to do these things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:27 PM
12

Awww thanks! This really made my day, its been a struggle losing my business with COVID.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:25 PM
87

I do this. I find it the best for my personal situation. I value my freedom over everything else and have moved across continents to chase dreams. I am not at the point of wanting to give that up just yet. I could see myself settling down in another 10 years, though, as I approach 50. I am childfree. I think men benefit much more from relationships than women, generally speaking. FDS rules still apply to my situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 05:46 AM
19

I always assume men like this are married or have forever girlfriends. HV people don't have time to text all day. OP is right, its a total time waste.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 12:13 PM
2

Thanks, Socal (actually I'm from SD originally!). You got it with the list of things that DO impress!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 03:05 PM
6

I buy real estate and resell (not flipping, exactly, because I take my time and DIY). I HIGHLY recommend this to women. Being a landlord is good too, just not my speed. Feel free to DM me or maybe start a post about it, there seems to be alot of interest in this topic!! In response to OP: Honestly I do NOT want to come off as a 'not like other girls' gal so no hate. This is just my experience: I rarely dress up. I'm crawling around in nasty basements and checking gutters on properties, so I usua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 02:28 PM
27

I do this. Highly recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:38 PM
11

If you're leaving him on read, you're doing it right. For me anyway, putting some separation and distance when I'm thinking of moving on really helps unattach emotions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 08:43 PM
14

Ah! well then there are even fewer excuses. Sounds like he's using the house thing as an excuse to not marry. Rewrite everything you just wrote but take out the information about the house. Now you are basically down to: BF of 3 years has a ring but won't propose. No reasons given. What should I do? There's your answer. Congrats on graduating! Pro tip: I moved across the country upon graduating from undergrad. Nothing cures heartache like a new town, new friends, and new job! Highly recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:55 PM
20

Mutidate or block/delete/ move on completely. Either way, start the slow fade on him so you can detach yourself. Even if he comes back around, would you ever have respect for a guy that literally chose waiting for his mom to retire over picking you?? Either way, you now need to start thinking about saving up your money to buy your own house. Don't wait on men to start your life. Build that wealth for yourself, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:29 PM
40

I really don't understand why you're not engaged. Married couples have to deal with all the the stuff that he's using as an excuse. If he wants you to be his partner, he should be figuring out that stuff with you, not waiting until the issues are over (spoiler alert: there will always be issues) to get engaged, at the very least. Waiting to buy a house? Why can't he do that while you're engaged or even married? Its not like you have to purchase a house the week after you're engaged. Waiting on f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:03 PM
26

She's on the right track questioning his intentions; hopefully she will be looking harder for red flags over the next year and then move on from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 03:19 PM
16

36F here. There are some of us FDSers that are not interested in marriage/ children. Thus, we take a more nuanced approach to the sexual question. Maximizing a woman's self-interest and ensuring SHE gets what SHE wants out of her life and in every situation is the takeaway for me from FDS. I don't want to go against any FDS principles because I feel like the Handbooks advice on sex is a fabulous guide for most women, especially younger ladies looking to build a family. So I hesitate to say more …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 01:37 PM
6

36F here. I date men aged 33 to 42. Unless they just moved to my area (or they flip houses), they must have their own house/ condo. No leases. In the US, if you have any hopes of retiring, home ownership is essential. Mortgages are significantly cheaper than renting in every state I've lived and starter condos/ houses here start in the mid $100k range. I have no issues with a roommate.though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 11:31 AM
1

I think you hit the nail on the head!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 04:12 AM
27

Either/ both. LVM gonna act LV. There isn't just one way to be terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 10:30 PM
44

I could have written this. The last man (43 y/o) I went out with invited me to his house (I had met him previously and we have mutual friends), cooked me dinner, and served me a wine tasting from his cellar. Followed by 3 hours of him talking nonstop about his (mostly long deceased) family members, high school drama from 30 years ago, fun things he did in his 20s, and ex-wife drama. I couldn't get a word in. This is probably the 30th man I've met like this in the last several years. They aren't …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 04:43 PM
3

Yes, dated (and vetted) several. They weren't for me, but I'm sure they would make great partners for a lady out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 04:33 AM
5

All the comments are great! I came here to add a few. Disclaimer: some of these are not covid- safe. Social dance! Lots and lots of physical touch with men and women. Feels great and after 3 hours, you'll be touched-out. Partner yoga. Its a thing in bigger towns and cities. Babysitting, if you like kids. All the hugs 🤗 Foods that are anaphrodisiacs. Make friends from other cultures that touch alot. My Caribbean friends have been a godsend to me here in the states (these cultures are known for lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 11:48 PM
12

I totally disagree. In my area, we have sooooo many married dudes window shopping. My gfs and I estimate its about 50% of the men out there. In addition, another 10% or so are Travelers; i.e. they have their app on while they are on a road trip but they will chat with you anyway! Another 10% are Just Visiting and finally, you have the men who think they want to meet you but decide not to at the last minute because of: nerves, distance, hangups, or whatever BS they tell you. Talking is such a was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 04:45 AM
19

We need to find these women and rescue them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:48 PM
76

Who swipes right on profiles like this?? Seriously. Even my super sweet, always gives the benefit of the doubt, blissfully naive pickme girlfriends would pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:42 PM
13

Please listen to this, OP. HOW HE BEHAVED IS BASELINE DECENCY. He behaved as ANY how normal human man behaves: polite, thoughtful, respectful, honest. The fact that you are daydreaming about a man that treated you with what amounts to basic courtesy should tell you all you need to know. Level yourself up and you'll find that every man that you date will treat you well. At that point, you can choose someone that best fits you. Also, music is a taste, not a goal. Find someone that matches on lifes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:17 PM
8

Agree. IME, Bumble was significantly better than the other apps. I don't want ro be bombarded by nasty messages sent at 2am. Match was the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:04 AM
20

Report them. The original post by the reddit mods about banning communities had a TON of comments specifically on these types of subs that are still active, so there are vocal critics out there. However, the BDSM people will likely keep it alive, for a while at least. SMH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 04:21 PM
2

Oh lady its so true. Honestly, finding a guy that can get it up at all in his 30s+ is significantly harder than dating rich or handsome or kind men. I feel like my sisters in their 20s have to weed through dick pics to find a respectful guy, while I have to weed through loads of respectful guys to find one that can maintain an erection. So I gave up on sex. Now, I enjoy men in the way men want to be enjoyed: eating food they cook for me and cuddling on the couch watching a movie. I suppose I've …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:23 PM
124

And yet r/strugglefucking still exists. Warning: its men raping women. Don't visit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 12:04 PM
3

Thanks! I really like it.
/r/askFDS15/06/20 01:32 AM
6

May I steal this for the FDS post that u/TheOGJammies asked me to write?
/r/askFDS15/06/20 01:29 AM
1

Sure thing, OG. Stay safe out there, sisters!
/r/askFDS15/06/20 01:28 AM
10

Good question. I suppose at that point I'd say specializing. The men in my life each offer something special. One is a venture capitalist and has multiple investment streams, including properties. Another one is a tradesmen who can fix just about anything that's broken. Another is an outdoorsman who could actually feed a small commune with his hunting/ fishing skills. I wouldn't expect the hunter to help me with investments or vice versa. Each has their own speciality they bring to the friendshi…
/r/askFDS13/06/20 09:10 PM
2

Preferences can change. HV people come in a wide range of colors, heights, and styles. Some you won't like by default. Im the power tool gal so a metro guy won't be my speed but otherwise, I've dated most 'types'. Standards should be SKY HIGH. Preferences, however, are adaptive and having a laundry list of superficial traits is not the best way to find a HVM. Typically, my friends and I will give a guy 3 chances assuming he's well kept and decent looking to see if our attraction builds or not. H…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 07:45 PM
1

Adulting 101 includes: Laundry Meal planning and prepping Basic cooking Organizing Comparison shopping/ couponing Cleaning Basic home maintenance like unclogging a drain, lighting a pilot light, changing a fuse, fixing a running toilet, and using a drill. Basic car maintenance Paying bills on time Budgeting Understanding insurance, including renter's, health, and care insurance Savings account Professionally appropriate social media accounts Networking skills Career building skills Basic self ca…
/r/askFDS13/06/20 03:48 PM
58

I am a radfem. I think women can benefit from marriage in most western societies if they want children and are relatively young. However, as some of my other sisters have pointed out, once you have real assets, are childfree, and are older (30+, but especially 40+), marriage could be a net negative. Married women have fewer friends, fewer social ties, end up taking care of their husband while he slowly dies, and then still outlive him by 5+ years and die alone. For my childfree 40+ ladies, I thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 10:52 PM
8

Yup, same here. If you live in a small town and go to your one restaurant/ brewery once a month, the staff remembers after the third visit. Everyone is a local when you live in a rural area- not a red flag at all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 08:40 PM
5

I agree. He had a month to propose or suggest going with you. He didn't, its not a big deal. Now I think if he was with you for a year or two and consistently talking about marriage and a future, that may be a different thing. Otherwise, you're free to focus on other things. Why not?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 07:21 PM
3

Yeah, I tell them! I'm totally transparent about everything. I believe FDS tells you to be elusive but since I'm not looking for forever, I DGAF and say whatever is on my mind. I'm honest right from the start. Probably most of them thought I'd change my mind. Guys in my life have strong pickme tendencies. Maybe I AM elusive, so I can state wild things and they all don't believe me or think they will change me. Who knows, each one was different so its hard to generalize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 07:17 PM
36

Hey sis, if you're not looking for a commitment, then whats the problem exactly? Falling in love with a fantasy and moving on anyway? I place men on timelines often; if I know I'm moving for work in a year, for example. I've enjoyed these relationships quite a bit. Sure I've broken my own heart once or twice, but my priorities were elsewhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 03:00 PM
31

Isn't that what all our grandmothers told us anyway? Haha they were probably right. Not much has changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 02:44 PM
9

As an over 30 shriveled hag, I'd say it depends. 1) Is he under 30? Then nope, left swipe his ass. Men with working hormones generally struggle keeping weight on and building weight if they are relatively active. 2) Did he have a serious life change that affected his health? Prescription drugs due to injuries, etc. I had a very good male friend who was in super fit shape break two legs. He was round as a pumpkin after the casts came off. Took him a year to get his body back to working order. 3) …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 12:00 AM
10

You should feel guilty and understand there are permanent consequences to your actions. Some decisions in life don't allow for take backs. Welcome to manhood.
/r/askFDS03/06/20 08:34 PM
7

Annotated version: I treat them like casual acquaintances I know, just as if I met a new coworker or potential friend. I let the conversation flow casually, and keep dates under an hour. Over the next few weeks/ months, I create situations or opportunities for them to show who they are. I ask for help doing something, I reject them, I bring them to stressful events, etc. I do not manufacture these situations but rather as they arise naturally in my life, I reach out for the guy I'm talking to to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 08:30 PM
16

Because the dating pool is WAY skewed in our favor. Its so easy for us to go on 50 dates a year if you want. The men are lucky if they get FIVE dates. This is coming from a fairly large sample size, between notes my friends and I have taken. MOST single women are busy raising their kids or pursuing careers and opt out of the dating market leaving a ton of men without options. One of my engineering friends researched for a year and his best guess was its an 8 to 1 ratio. The men realize this and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:09 PM
8

I totally agree. We become fuckboys- though with way less sex (maybe that's just me and my friends though haha) and men become pickmes. I also personally know of women who make men into forever boyfriends which again, at 40+ can often benefit a woman, depending on her priorities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:02 PM
12

There's an EPIC miniseries on Netflix about her! Highly recommend!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 05:09 AM
35

Ok I'll do it. Haha you ladies wore me down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 05:01 AM
19

To answer your second question: also yes. I have friends that date over 50 and over 60. Totally different game for them. Priorities shift and the men have different sets of issues. Ive only dated to 45, so I can't speak from my own experience but from what my friends tell me, its dating for friendship/ fun and not for marriage at all. Perhaps some of the older sisters in this sub can speak to this. Maybe my gfs over 50 are just bona-fide Maneaters. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:55 AM
81

I am going to generalize here in a huge way, but here are my annotated field notes from the trenches: First, its pretty easy to avoid fuckboys because there really aren't any. Or perhaps they are targeting younger women. Second, its also significantly easier to judge run-of-the-mill ZVM or NVM because its painfully obvious who spent the last two decades of adulthood leveling up and who went the mom's basement/ prison/ drugie route. Also, when you don't care about marriage/ children, you have a d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:51 AM
113

Yup. I need to write a post about the dating scene over 30 and over 40. The number of men that "let themselves go" is insane. But holy hell am I glad I didn't marry one of them when I was 25!!! Its true about the retired men; I have two single friends dating over 60 and they have men constantly proposing. Quite funny actually because they are basically players/ Maneaters (I say that with love, I don't have a good term for a lady who takes on male boyfriends as they suit her needs). I've also fou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 12:24 AM
10

Bahaha you made my day! 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 12:13 AM
355

Honestly, I think this is why so many of us older gals opted out. We had our kids or are child free and decided we are better off alone. Is there more stability and legal benefits in married life? Maybe. But more likely than not, you'll work 45 hours, take on the majority of the child work and house chores, and at the end of it take care of a sick man who dies 5 to 10 years before you do and you're alone anyway. Ladies, hold out for someone that truly offers a more equitable relationship. And to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 12:08 AM
110

So proud if you for taking the steps to improve your life! Cheers 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 12:01 AM
33

Agree 100%. He's definitely meeting HVW.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 11:59 PM
5

I am very involved in the dance scene, so I have loads of friends from that. Its a sober, all ages crowd of healthy people from a variety of backgrounds (blue collar to PhD). I also am deeply involved in another hobby that takes up about 15 to 20 hours a week that is about 95% female- same thing, all ages, very active types of ladies. I've actually found it to be easier to make friends after graduating than I did in my early 20s, but it helps that I'm super passionate and fairly good at my hobbi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 01:04 AM
22

There are a few of us on here that are on the no marriage track. For me personally, I keep a guy around for help. Last weekend, it was moving furniture around. A month ago, I needed to borrow a skilsaw. The guy I had around last year took me on alot of trips, which was pretty cool. I only give my companionship in return. Honestly once you have this mindset shift, you may actually find yourself attracting better quality men. I never prioritized relationships and I'm pretty vague about my motives …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 07:38 PM
7

Amen sister. Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 07:32 PM
8

The other comment is spot on. There's probably not a whole lot you can do. I'd like to add that you need to be very careful introducing your own dates into this situation too. Make sure they understand you do not agree with his actions, that he is toxic and a disappointment to you. Or better yet, don't ever bring them around him. Also, I personally don't know of a single woman in her mid-30s that gives men like that the time of day. Give it a few more years and he will find that his behavior doe…
/r/askFDS30/05/20 08:30 PM
7

Exactly. And if they are actually single and looking for someone real, none of these questions are offensive at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 07:04 PM
7

My profile says: Looks like photos and will meet you! Which basically signals I'm not an escort or looking for IG followers and that I want to meet up immediately. Most men in my experience ask me out within 5 messages. All of my questions are simple yes/no. If it requires an explanation, its a left pass for me unless its a very rare exception: one guy with a kid that was currently living with him but leaving for college, for example or another one who had just relocated to the area and had not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 07:03 PM
8

No, they don't, you're totally right. The only exception I should edit is the men over 40 whose children are grown. I have met several who stayed with their wife through raising their kids and parted amicably afterwards. That can happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 02:21 PM
24

I have some advice for everyone dating online which will save you hours upon hours of your time. Within the first few messages, I say: Hey, I'd really like to continue chatting but I have some NN dealbreakers I need to ask you first. They say 'sure, ask away.' 1 Are you currently residing in and plan to live in the state of VA for the foreseeable future? About 25% drop out because they are just traveling, visiting family, here for a work assignment, etc. Pass. 2 Are you legally, ethically, socia…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 02:14 PM
39

This is pretty normal. Tbh, I've gone on at least 50 dates with men with kids over the last 5 years or so and EVERY SINGLE ONE has said that exact thing except one, who had full custody and clearly loves his son. I've now come to the conclusion that almost all men who are divorced with kids didn't want them, sucked at parenting and their wives left them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 01:55 PM
39

This picture is way too flattering of Ed. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:52 AM
3

Oh man. Classic. Wanting us to feel sorry for them because- let me guess- they were "hurt in the past". Smh. If I rolled my eyes any farther back, they would be stuck in my head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:33 AM
17

LOL well then theres NO chance! Every guy over 35 cooks in my area and I mean EVERY guy. Tinder is basically food porn. You can expect a man to have the most basic adulting skills by this age, in my area at least.
/r/askFDS28/05/20 09:11 PM
3

Yeah its always BS. A bit of flattery combined with pouring their heart out. There's really no such thing as an instant connection, especially prior to meeting. And even then- how many people have you hit it off with right away and never see again? Its pretty normal, not only with dating but in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:06 PM
3

Right?? Bahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 08:54 PM
14

Everyone here has good advice. I wanted to add that false intimacy online is a thing and you need to temper your expectations. My bestie gets suckered into the men who pretend to be vulnerable and they never last more than one date (if they even get that far). These guys are only looking for a one time 5 hour long therapy session to help them with whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 12:27 PM
14

My personal fav are bios that only have a line from a tv show from 20 years ago. These guys always swipe right on me. In my profile: I don't own a TV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 12:23 PM
15

Wow. Complete with all the grammar mistakes, pseudointelectualisms, imposter syndrome and terrible analogies. I would have responded: C sharp** FIFY
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 12:21 PM
3

Sorry for late response. 36F here and I've been courted by a number of younger men (late 20s) in a similar situation who were done with the dating scene looking for someone more long term. Yes, they need to be financially stable and yes, they need to be confident. In the last few years, I've dated men aged 27 to 44 and there are certain aspects to younger men I enjoy (I'm going to generalize here in a huge way); specifically sexual compatibility, energy level, and interest in a healthy lifestyle…
/r/askFDS28/05/20 02:48 AM
60

Dating over 30 here. The vast majority of men my age I find both OLD and in the wild clearly don't care about themselves: Super out of shape, serious skin problems, can't dress themselves. Its pathetic. I'm pretty open minded when it comes to looks- I have dated all colors, ethnicities, body sizes, and heights (from 5'5 to 6'5) but I will not tolerate someone who cannot take care of themselves. Here's my advice: Get fit, learn to cook healthy. Don't stress over body type (nobody cares about six …
/r/askFDS28/05/20 02:33 AM
63

I've been on dozens of dates with men who say this. My response is always "oh yeah? What brand of crazy? I volunteer with folks that have intellectual disabilities and I work with alot of Van Gogh type artists, so I know my way around a psychiatric evaluation." Cue the wild backtracking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 11:04 PM
3

Are you my niece? If not, your aunt is my soul sister. None of my men know my secret skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:02 PM
3

Yes, probably because I realized pretty young that marrying trash was a surefire way to never move up in the world. 20 years as an adult leveling up and I'm surrounded by the absolute coolest people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:39 AM
44

The article brings up some good points, though I'd like to expand on it a bit. I can only speak for myself and my close friends, but this is our experience: Post 30 we are very interested in sex and more so than we were in our 20s. However, most of the men are not. They have all kinds of ED issues stemming from weird psychological hangups to injuries to being out of practice. This is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, its great because there are very, very few fuckboys you have to contend…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 04:49 PM
15

Yes! 36F here and same. No plans too either, though many have tried to change my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 12:21 AM
13

36F here. I never cared much about my relationships, instead prioritizing other things. A few years ago, I finally found myself in a more stable situation and decided to give it a real go. I met close to 100 men. None of them compatible. I decided recently to return to my regularly scheduled life, which was much more fulfilling with a greater return on investment. I have men come and go for the boyfriend experience or the summer encounter, but I tend to not stick around for long. My friends who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 03:47 PM
42

AITA comments are really improving lately I have to say. Those folks over there have 0 fucks to give when it comes to ZVM behavior these days.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 07:19 PM
3

Because we are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 07:13 PM
39

I totally agree. So basically he's saying that most men (read NVM/ZVM) want a woman who is bubbly, carefree, will cater to his every need or desire, always be a size 6, and never complain. Cool. Us ladies will start our cat commune now with ZERO regrets....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 07:46 PM
13

This is so true. Especially if they know you are multidating with a purpose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 05:00 AM
22

Yup and its sooooo often about a man who doesn't know what he wants (I'm 41M and maybe I want kids.... someday ....but I've never been in a relationship)/ complaining about women always rejecting them or a woman getting played by a fuckboy/ complaining that there are no HVM. Once you start seeing the posts as gendered, its really hard to go back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 04:58 AM
6

I totally agree with this sentiment in the single and under 30 category but honestly alot of FDS advice on sex simply doesn't apply to the over 40 crowd. We just don't get dick pics and booty calls. Its not an actual problem for any older women. In fact, two of my gfs are in their early 60s and think OLD is the best invention ever- thats how much things improve for us older gals. Men all over town just want to take a lady out for dinner NSA. Its a very different scene than what our younger siste…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 06:04 PM
1

That's a great idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:39 PM
15

There are several posters in FDS that are not marriage-minded, myself included. If a woman has spent her 20s and 30s leveling up, there's a point in life where marriage becomes very risky financially and is not necessarily in our best interest. I do not think this is against any FDS rules, as the entire point of FDS is our satisfaction and maximizing our utility in our relationships with men. There are also some of us that occasionally take on a man for the purpose of sex/ companionship. FDS con…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:19 PM
7

36F here. Also own my own house. What these men have done with their time and money the last 15 years, I don't know. Cute and adorable, that's me hahaha! I recently talked to a guy only to find out he lives with his parents at age 40. Wtf even is that? No basic adult skills at all. I'm not signing up for someone that will decrease my net worth. Not sorry about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 06:40 PM
12

I got shotguns and can train all the dogs. I'm in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 03:47 AM
101

Oh its definitely hard for them. Imagine spending decades of your life lacking even the most basic skills (cooking, cleaning, respect for others, working out, learning) only to find that none of the women want you because we've all leveled up. Its a very uneven playing field as the ladies that spent their lives leveling up become completely unobtainable. Even average Pickmes won't touch alot of average men- there's too much of a gap in educational and career achievements. Men are falling behind …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 03:34 AM
44

I've learned that the more you involve yourself in drama, the more the toxicity of these people will wear you down. You can't protect the wife; this situation is out of your control. You can be there for her when she's ready to leave, otherwise nothing you do will prevent his abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 03:28 AM
1

Hahahaha! ahhhhh boys.... so typical!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:35 PM
13

Has anyone here done this? I would LOVE to hear what happened!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:00 AM
3

Renovating a house I'm putting on the market soon! Lots of sanding and painting furniture to make the staging fantastic. Just finished the garden beds and lawn. This weekend, I have a date with a finishing sander while I chat with all my girlfriends. Cheers!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 03:36 AM
1

Yup. Don't care. This is the conclusion I came to as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 11:56 PM
13

I ALWAYS ask them to explain it and why its funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 04:06 PM
2

All facts. 100%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 02:45 PM
4

I don't know why you are getting down voted. My experience and my girlfriends all report the same. Its sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/20 12:57 AM
22

Men want to be providers, they want to take care of you. I dont even blame them for this I think its deep seated biology. Modern women are stuck in a loop. We level up and become independent and the guys think they aren't good enough because we don't need to depend on them. Of course, they all say they want someone independent but they will marry the lady that makes them feel appreciated with their low effort output. I've learned to accept their gifts and their money. They last longer when they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 01:38 PM
22

Yup. Exactly. 10 years of this stuff and I opted out of the relationship escalator. I think some of us may be too independent for most guys. Even worse is my experience casually dating- I work in travel and I have been on at least 50 dates in the last few years in which a guy meets me, KNOWS I WORK IN TRAVEL, claims to "love how independent I am because his ex was super codependent" and then after discussing how I'm gone a few weeks at a time proceeds to tell me he'd "prefer someone that was hom…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 01:28 PM
11

Yikes!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 01:22 PM
123

This is a total catch 22 though. I've always been the bitch, super elusive, have tons of stuff going on. Yet once they persuade me to lock it down with them, they leave telling me that I "don't need them." Smh. Wtf, dude? You wanted a lady thats independent but now that you have one, you've decided you really want a routined, codependent PickMe? I swear, we can't win. They want an independent woman whose a bitch one minute and then Hannah Homemaker the next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 05:03 AM
1

Hey I said 80%, not 95% 🤣
/r/askFDS29/04/20 12:12 PM
3

I know this isn't a popular opinion in FDS, but IME, OLD is basically the same as meeting someone in real life- its the general public. The good, the bad, and the downright disgusting. Anyone that has worked a customer service job would agree that its not as if men are any better in person. I have had some of the best dates of my life from OLD. The vast majority of men I have met in person have been respectful, polite, and more or less had their shit together. My last 2 dates before the pandemic…
/r/askFDS29/04/20 02:23 AM
7

I'm your target age range. I don't have "friends first" but several of my single lady friends do so I think I can speak for them. They know EXACTLY what they want and are not willing to compromise. They have never had a ONS and want to get to know someone before even touching/ kissing them and are trying to signal that they want to take things slow. In the over 35 crowd, we are all looking for very specific men. We've had time to think about compatibility and what we'd like to have in the second…
/r/askFDS29/04/20 01:42 AM
15

Well for me its pretty easy. Any guys thats a jerk at the beginning is only going to be more of jerk down the road. I have alot of work drama right now, so I can't add deadweight toxicity to my world. For me, its like cleaning the garbage disposal. Pour water down, turn it on, and forget about it. I don't psycho analyze or empathize or any of that BS designed to waste a woman's mind. It takes me about 5 minutes to forget about a guy I ghosted because of poor behavior- in the same way I forget ab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 05:06 PM
116

Honestly though the comments are gold. Lots of men chiming in there too. Women are starting to figure out they are better off without taking care of a man child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 12:49 PM
9

I'd like to see an author that really focuses on truly creating happiness as a single woman. Leveling up financially is extremely difficult to do as a single woman and is rarely explored in any substantive detail- not to mention health challeneges, safety concerns, or simply needing a second pair of hands around the house. Forget societal pressure, the day to day challenges of living alone can be overwhelming. I've lived alone for 10 years as a single and I rotate men to help me with these issue…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 02:35 AM
6

Yes, I'm sure they think I'm the 'cool girl' or just a really avoidant attached PickMe. The difference is I see through the ruse and I'm getting exactly what I want, maximum benefit to me and I give them nothing but my company (which is also on my terms, of course).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 08:30 PM
7

There are alot of really good comments. I'm not avoidant attachment but I have yet to find a man that's worthy of me expressing my feelings so like you, I've had countless men call me: detached, logical, robotic, cold, icy, avoidant, confident, arrogant, etc. Yet every time I express a need or desire, its quickly shut down. I find this behavior too confusing, so I'll continue to opt out. Doesn't sound like you are avoidant with friends, only men. I find no fault in this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 03:13 PM
13

36F here. Single with a constant stream of men from which I enjoy relationship benefits. They never want a relationship but want to get married 'someday.' Perfect. I believe women typically get the short end of the stick in relationships. My men provide labor and tangible benefits and in return, they get to be in my presence. I offer no commitment, no emotional labor (I dont talk to them between meetups), and no household labor. There's usually one I sleep with. I have no intention on changing a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 01:54 PM
54

Me, always: "that's absolutely perfect for me. I don't have to talk to you during the week but you'll still buy me those theater tickets and fix my leaky faucet!" Cue nervous laughter. Shrug. Relationships have good and bad elements. These men think relationships are always bad for them and good for us. More and more women are realizing the opposite is often the case. Im all about getting the plumber/ carpenter/ date/ decent dick in exchange for me making 0 commitment and doing no emotional labo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 05:26 PM
64

Often, blue collar guys are self-sufficient and really, really good at helping fix things around the house which is a huge plus in my book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 10:00 PM
59

As someone who is almost 37, I hope I still am single! Dating in your 30s is awesome. Way less BS and you see through all the lies in a nanosecond. Its like a superpower i possess. 5/7 recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 12:48 AM
29

I assume the ones that wanted kids ended up staying married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 11:00 PM
79

Every man I've ever been on a date with that has children has explicitly told me he regrets having them and never wanted them. Ive been single and dating hard for the last 3 years so we aren't talking 2 or 3 men at this point. Its honestly difficult for me to date single fathers because of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 10:01 PM
2

Honestly, I think most of my guys are equally confused. Men really don't listen to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 03:27 AM
2

I agree which is why alot of us older women in here that aren't on the relationship escalator usually post with disclaimers. I'm just offering another viewpoint. Also- I enjoy having plenty of non- wealthy guys around. Sometimes to chat with, sometimes they help me with things around the house, and sometimes they can cook well. Maybe the dick is great! Who knows. I don't chase money; benefits comes in all sorts of forms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 02:35 AM
2

Maybe SHE doesn't want a serious relationship with OP. Just a thought...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 02:32 AM
7

I will delete this post in a few days because I don't want it in my history. But I absolutely use men for money and am not into them. At all. Once you turn the tables on these guys and DGAF about them, its amazing the benefits you receive. Granted, I pay for my house and my car and everyone I date knows that I'm dating around. But there are a lot of women out there taking advantage of men. Should she toss the now "boyfriend" back into the market? Maybe. But that's not for me to say. From my pers…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 01:57 AM
14

This is pretty normal. Men have a harder time matching with ladies than women do so they are trying to stand out among the competition. Reports vary widely, but I think its safe to say that there are at least 3x the number of male profiles than female in most cities. The dicks gotta peacock somehow, and right now Bitcoin is all the rage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 11:59 PM
34

Interesting!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 08:41 PM
69

I agree. I would never encourage someone to do this if they were looking to settle down with a HVM. For those of us enjoying the perks of having several boyfriends, though, it may be a worthwhile option. The one thing I've noticed is the ladies end up with much more confidence and the men realize they have nothing to offer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 08:39 PM
382

I used to be 100% against open relationships. But every single time someone I know gets pressured into one by her LVM, it ends up being a great experience for her. Now I'm reconsidering my position and thinking open relationships could actually free alot of women stuck in bad relationships. Also, its further proof we can have our cake and eat it too while men can't even get a match.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 08:23 PM
1

No emotional support, no communication, no friendship, and not even gifts? Sis, wtf are you doing? You said you're happier single, why not just do a rewind and forget about him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 02:21 AM
14

First of all, its polite. Most men will want to pay for the privilege of your company. This is standard in most cultures. Second, most of us ladies can find a date literally every night of the week. Dick is abundant. Even high quality men do not match with more than a handful of women a month. Its not going to break their budget to pay for a lady once a month. They are paying for the opportunity to go out with me. I do not have to pay, because I'm a woman. Third, you don't have to order the most…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 04:53 PM
2

I feel like Im qualified to answer because I have dated quite a few of these men. If you are interested in a long term relationship, AVOID THEM. Divorces take YEARS. Custody battles can take a decade or longer. You will do alot of emotional labor for him. You will find yourself often suggesting therapy. 9 out of 10 times he won't go. Because the divorce was "entirely her fault." He is looking for a wife replacement because he can't actually deal with being alone. You are dating and possibly slee…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 04:41 AM
14

I typically only date never been married men 30 to 45. They offer fantastic dates, plenty of labor and financial support, and all I have to do is pretend I believe them when they say they are looking for a wife. Most are selfish workaholics that will never provide any sort of emotional (or time) availability. For me, that's acceptable. I pass on the divorcées who seem to have thought about work, home balance and compatibility issues- they should find their next Queen. Which means, good ladies of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 12:14 AM
4

I'm not dating on the relationship escalator so my requirements are slightly different than typical FDS. However, all my dates are respectful, polite, and successful. Some of them were likely marriage material. I find OLD to be the most effective way to date. My two best single friends are moving (they are in the bigger towns of 100k), they are reporting more of the experiences of the other commenters here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 05:03 PM
22

I personally found significantly less fuckboys on Bumble and have had loads of success on OLD. IF you are VERY good at vetting, have a serious no bullshit attitude, and are experienced in dating, I personally think OLD is a very useful tool. I'm 35 and in a rural/ small town area so please take what I say into context. My city girlfriends hate it for all the reasons the above comments suggest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 04:03 AM
11

Me too 100%. I'm averaging the same, about one date a month. Usually no chemistry, but a really enjoyable night out none the less. It usually only takes 30 minutes of my time to find a good one these days, so it's worth the energy for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:50 PM
70

Here are some tips to avoid the fuckbois on Bumble: Swipe left if they have a shirtless pic. Swipe left if they mention ANYTHING sexual in their profile. Swipe left if they don't have a well-written bio. Swipe left if they live far (for me that's more than 40 miles- I'm rural. My city gfs say 10 to 15 tops.) If you're on Bumble, start the conversation with something that signals A you're very thoughtful and interesting and B you're not easy. I start with a question about their hobby and tell the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 12:53 PM
16

First of all, congrats on the healthy weight loss. Second, fuck those guys. If it wasn't your skin color and ethnic background, it would have been something else. You did the right thing taking the trash out. Third, as someone who is in the Spanish speaking (and Latin dance) scene, I too have encountered some lowkey racism from dates and some weird exoticism about speaking Spanish. It's not the same as your experience. Although I grew up speaking Spanish and most of my business contacts and frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 02:20 AM
42

Sis, I've been single for nearly a decade. You'll be just fine. Your friendships will thrive, your home will be on point, and your cooking/ cleaning/ domestic skills will be fabulous. You'll find a new hobby, master it, and your life will be better than you ever imagined. 10 years single. And I'm a total badass bitch because of it. Naturally, all my lady friends are also boss bitches as well because HVW attract each other. It's much better to spend a few years leveling up and investing in YOU th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 02:06 AM
2

He had me in the first half, not gonna lie. 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 04:48 PM
13

Honestly, you won't want to see 90% of them beyond a second date. The vast majority of them will be strangers, so no need to reveal anything personal to them beyond the basics at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 08:35 AM
4

Oh congrsts! That's awesome! I'll pm you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 08:46 PM
69

I run a tour group for women solo travelers. One of first things I tell them is that they will never be alone, I will always be with them, and that there will be 7 other ladies just like them in the group. Their safety is my number 1 priority and I'm the meanest, most badass bitch ever. We only go to very safe countries in Europe, so the concern here is not about getting kidnapped, abducted, or terrorism. Rather, they don't want to go ANYWHERE alone because men EVERYWHERE harass women! Period. L…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 06:42 PM
17

Yes queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 12:57 PM
3

Rarely, if ever. There's no point. Glad you're here. Wish more of the ladies there would join us (and wish the men there would read!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 03:33 AM
4

I have some friends from there as well! Do you ever post or comment anymore?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:41 AM
3

Facts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:39 AM
7

Hey curly!!! Glad we both joined the 'dark side' haha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:38 AM
26

Absolutely. I almost feel bad for that guy who posted his 'dating routine.' Good for him for realizing that no self respecting lady is going to go out with a guy that doesnt brush his teeth and put deodorant on. But man, it was soooo basic. So many women opt out of the market because all these men don't even have baseline hygiene skills. And then they get on the sub, complain about how the only men that get dates are pickup artists, tall, or super handsome. Yes. Because the average woman looks s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 10:24 PM
49

My experience with that sub is that there are loads of clueless and socially anxious men that don't understand women's experience with OLD. They just don't get that the majority of us are trying to avoid pump and dump, abuse, and violence. So when we ghost or slow fade on them, they can't reconcile their own experiences within a larger contextual framework. Unfortunately, I think while alot of these men would be open to such a dialog, the mods don't allow for any such discussion. It's too bad, t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 10:05 PM
29

Too bad he missed his English classes. If you're gonna mansplain, best to use correct grammar!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:16 AM
5

Yes, exactly! Of course, the issue with this is that us ladies are technically the ones planning the date since we suggest the location. Most men ask where I'd like to go for a first date but they do normally suggest a place for a second date (if the first one goes well). I understand the FDS protocol with making men plan first dates, but for myself I'd prefer to pick the spot where I feel safest. I'm glad others agree. I was curious how FDS felt about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:31 PM
5

Haha glad to help! And I hope you're ok from the face plant. I've been there more than my user name implies...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 08:08 PM
1

Bahahaha so true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:39 PM
26

Have you rejected him yet? Ex: He asks you out for Friday and you say no. How he takes this is a great indicator. Have you asked him for a favor? Ex: I need someone to pick me up from the car dealer while it's getting a service (always have a backup plan, of course, but this one will tell you if he's Emergency Contact material). Have you asked him for emotional support? Ex: My best friend was in the hospital last week and I'm worried about her! Gauge response. Please note, I'm not telling you to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 06:38 PM
23

I understand this, although I have defintely gone out with men who are very cognizant of the potential threat for physical violence that women experience and they would prefer that a woman is comfortable. I'm not sure if this is a cultural thing where I am, but most of the ladies I know that date online have a usual spot where they bring their dates- the bartender/ staff/ regulars know them and they WANT to meet a new man at that particular location. I think reducing risk of violence takes prece…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 06:32 PM
6

Highly recommend the engineers. They do have some lack of social skills, though, so take that into consideration. In my experience, they ALWAYS let me set the pace physically (as it should be!), whereas the doctors.... oh boy, don't even get me started on them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 06:26 PM
10

Oh no, this is exactly what I do as well, which is why my comments on this sub are sometimes nuanced/ differ from the handbook. I'm way too busy for dinner dates most of the time and often don't feel like them (I do dinner alot with the lady friends) so it's allll about the wine bar at the nice restaurant for me. My dating life revolves completely around my schedule- errands/ social events with friends/ yoga/ etc. I've been doing this for YEARS and no man has ever stopped putting in effort becau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 06:23 PM
1

Good luck to you, sis! I've enjoyed my experiences with OLD but I am not looking for a marriage partner. I empathize with and appreciate the other viewpoints on this sub as to why OLD is probably not a great approach for most women, especially those looking for long term potential. For those of us who are looking for other... things... it's ideal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 06:13 PM
7

My situation is probably a bit unique in that I live in between 3 small cities, so often they ask me in what town I'd like to meet. I decide, based on what's convenient for me. Each town has a few middle to higher end options and I suggest meeting for a pre-dinner cocktails (although I order a non-alcoholic beverage). Caveat: I'm dating men that are in their 30s and 40s. None of these men flinch at paying a dinner tab. I have no issues finding generous, polite men. But I still don't want to be s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 01:43 AM
16

Potentially controversial, but because I also do OLD, my go to method is to have them meet me at the bar of a high end restaurant. I order an iced tea or virgin cocktail. (That always keeps them on their toes. They start the date off confused, because they know that I do drink. Good.) If things are going well, they ALWAYS ask if I'd like to stay and join them for dinner. I've declined a few times and am glad that I wasn't stuck at a 4 course dinner with someone who was polite but whom I had no i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 11:47 PM
11

35F here. This is my experience exactly and I live in a fairly rural area. Dating is easy and fun for women. Finding someone that is looking for a relationship? Don't hold your breath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 11:42 PM
6

I'd be happy to help as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 03:18 PM
4

I'm 35. It gets better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:45 PM
21

Having just returned from a weekend in Paris, I highly recommend it to everyone in this sub. Opened my texts and immediately though, "nah...you're not worth the effort."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 05:19 PM
73

I've dated in 5 countries. I can assure you this is not the case. The game is the same anywhere you go. There IS a bit of a self-selection process with immigrants here though. Typically, immigrants in the US are more motivated, educated, entrepreneurial, and risk seeking than non-immigrants. There's a ton of academic literature out there on this. Apply that knowledge to the dating world and what you're seeing is a higher percentage of HV people within the immigrant population.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 05:16 PM
171

Men should be tired of having to explain that they aren't a rapist. That should motivate them to call their Male friends out on rapey stuff. But no, it's our fault for being cautious. /smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 11:47 AM
13

I went on a family vacation cruise that departed from Texas. Surrounded by 5,000 drunk rednecks for 6 days. Yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 06:51 AM
24

Same rules apply. Just because you've 'known' him longer, don't use that to overlook red flags and bad behavior. Personally, I'd keep him on the rotation for longer than I did random strangers, if only to prevent myself from going all in too quickly. Also, a pro tip here: Random strangers often exhibit LV behavior quicker than people we've known. Friends know us; they know what we like and dislike, they know what will win us over, and most importantly- they are less likely to treat you like crap…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 08:47 PM
43

5 years and no ring? Nah, sis, he wasn't committed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 08:36 PM
48

I'm part of the older FDS sisterhood that's no longer interested in marriage. I have been on the delete/ block train since pagers were a thing; I am glad to see my younger sisters are joining me in rejecting worthless suitors. However, like you, I personally enjoy seeing more woman- or self-focused posts. I particularly enjoy reading the ones centered on decisions my sisters are making regarding their career, hobbies, or passions. I try to comment as much as possible on such posts to bump them. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 08:07 PM
35

Do you have an HR department? Perhaps there is someone that can help you- e.g. change your shifts so you're not working at night, upgrade the hotel to have better cameras, etc. I'm sorry this happens to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 07:41 PM
29

Wow. Best advice column I've read in a while. Excellent post, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 05:40 PM
15

And of course, his second comment to his wife was about porn. How typical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 01:52 PM
12

I know I'm an outlier here, but I have not had this experience with men on OLD at all. By far, the majority of my dates expect nothing sexual and even when they casually invite me to a cocktail hour or dinner at their house (say, after 5 or so really good dates), there are no expectations at all. Perhaps it's my age range (35+) or I'm just really good at vetting, but it's been my experience that the men actually expect me to set the rules and take things slowly. Please note, I don't think any of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 11:07 PM
66

Forever girlfriends typically encounter the same issues, but with no legal protection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 03:12 PM
5

I do it all the time, through my actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 11:11 PM
41

Personally, from how you've described yourself, I think you're great. If a guy doesn't like you because 'you say please too much', let him walk. Setting boundaries is important, but you don't sound like a pushover to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 11:06 PM
6

Spent the day in a small Spanish beach town by myself. God, I love my job. My single friends have been blowing up my phone with anti - Valentine's memes and it's been pure comedy in my DMs all day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:08 PM
3

You're right 100%. Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 05:34 PM
21

While I agree with much of what you said, here's the conclusion I've drawn: By far, men that are commitment-minded end up getting married fairly young or are at least engaged by their late 20s. Of course, there are exceptions. But the majority of men that I've met who are single in their 30s are either divorced with kids or on the single forever track. It's rare that a man interested in the comforts of an LTR (e.g. marriage) would relationship hop or be single for 20 years. You're much more like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 04:12 AM
5

Have you tried Meetups or a new hobby that would attract a co-ed crowd of that age?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 04:00 AM
20

OLD. I meet good people online but it took me a while to figure out how to weed out the nutjobs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 12:53 PM
38

Depends. Potentially controversial in this sub, but after 10 fantastic dates, I asked one of the men on my rotation whether I could spend the night with him. No sex, hard boundaries, only companionship. He agreed. We had a great night with talking, hand holding, and being close with no sex. He never brought up sex on any date and made it very clear from day 1 that the ball was in my court for any physical contact. On Date 3, he told me that if I wanted to touch him or kiss him, that he wanted me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 04:48 AM
3

Your experience is more on par with mine. I'm south of you a bit but sometimes date men in DMV area.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 03:35 AM
13

Ok ladies, I'll do this while I'm flying to Portugal next week. I don't necessarily advocate OLD, but I personally live in a more rural area, so it's difficult to date otherwise. I'll see if I can find all our I'm a Queen profiles and upload them as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:47 PM
63

One year ago my 2 single gfs and I decided to date on OLD, treating it as an anthropological field experiment. We shared observations and changed our tactics several times. The first 3 months were rough, but since then I have alot of success in OLD dating. Almost all of my dates are classy, polite, and respectful. I've been told by friends that in my age range (30 to 45), men are generally better but I also think my "Im a Queen" profile really helps. We now have it down to a science. It takes me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 02:45 PM
22

Absolutely. And yet, suprisingly difficult to find.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 04:22 PM
31

This might be controversial but in my experience, if you waited a good while to have sex (I think FDS recommends 90 days), you're much, much more likely to have the sociopaths self-select out. I generally tell my partners 'hey I had a bad experience with a man a while back and I'm bothered by a few things.' I have never had any issues with this strategy. If you can't talk about serious stuff, why have sex with the guy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 12:46 PM
1

I feel you, sis. That beginner-intermediate stage sucks and lasts a long time. Making friends in the scene is always the best for me because it's natural accountability. It's hard to stay motivated when you know just enough to know how badly you're performing LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 02:41 AM
6

Interesting question. I've been contemplating the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 10:06 PM
11

Personally, I like coffee dates for a first meetup with someone online. I understand the mentality to preference dinner, but honestly I value my time too much and loathe being stuck at a 3 course meal with someone I don't jive with at all. My method is the 20 min initial meet, then a dinner date. It sends the signal that I'm very busy and that I care about my time, so I've never had an issue with the men ponying up for dinner on date 2. Note: I date men in their 30s and 40s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 07:54 PM
1

I grew up in a Spanish speaking community in the US so there was plenty of opportunity to learn. Work also required language skills, so I had lots of external motivation. My parents are white bread folks but open minded and encouraged it when I was I growing up. Learning a language requires grit, repetition, the ability to mimic, and a talkative nature. Its not particularly hard as it is time consuming. Are you thinking SP and FR?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 07:26 PM
3

Here's the thing about FDS- we are saying in here that women that have their ducks in a row shouldn't be dating men that do not. Period. That's pretty much the entire point of this sub. If the roles were reversed, he wouldn't be wasting his time on you. That's how THAT would work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 02:37 PM
4

Sis, you are 29. If starting a family is important to you, you need to get on that boat NOW. Seriously. The younger you are when you and your partner decide to have a family, the more likely this dream will come true for you. If you waste another 2-3 years on this guy, you'll be looking at being single in your mid-30s and then- maybe- starting a family at 40. Dating in your 30s is NOT what dating in your 20s is. The pool is significantly smaller. Please do not buy into the fantasy that you have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 02:35 PM
6

Please don't waste time. The biological clock is real. My gfs that waited until their mid30s to start families all have serious, costly infertility issues. One gave up completely on her dream to be a mother. Yes, it can happen when you are 40, but the later you wait, the less likely that will be. Find a man that wants to prioritize kids if that is your goal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 02:08 PM
16

Gosh they didnt even try to respond to your arguments, just kept saying "not all men." Its not worth engaging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 11:38 AM
15

Fair! I was mostly thinking about the first 5 (or 50) dick pics and nasty messages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 04:26 AM
11

It's not a game, sis, it's about valuing yourself and finding friends/romantic partners that are great people. It's not playing hard to get when you're simply taking you're time. It's not acting coy when you're waiting for his STI results to come in. It's not manipulating when you're expressing boundaries and self-advicating. It's not pretending to be egotistical when you call men out on disrespecting you. 90% of FDS is 0 games. It's about being independent and having self-esteem, a support netw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 04:08 AM
35

Nah, give her some time on Tinder... she'll come around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 03:52 AM
13

I defended you. Waiting for my ban...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 03:51 AM
5

I can only speak to my experience, but I've found that the better you get at a hobby/ sport/ interest, the more you will spend time competing or spending weekends in more advanced workshops. In those places, you will find other women who have spent serious time cultivating passions- rather than wasting their time on LVM. I am also fortunate in that my profession is female dominated, so several of my friends have been collaborators or clients over the years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 03:38 AM
87

Perhaps one of the mods can sticky one of these posts for the next week? I've seen a few of them and it's so heartwarming to see everyone's goals. The real value in FDS is not avoiding LVM, it's the journey of self-improvement that turns us into the Queens we were born to be!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 12:58 AM
2

Thanks, friend! I'm just a lady who listened to queens and tried my best to follow in their footsteps. I was very lucky to be surrounded by strong, independent women growing up. I've continued to collect them as my part of my peer group. I've been following an FDS type of strategy my whole life. I think this sub is my home. Listening to other women's success stories is so inspiring!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 12:50 AM
4

He's not in a place in his life where dating is possible. Move on. Good luck, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 10:17 PM
9

I prefer to weed out LVM by quality, not necessarily price. I like men who take me to interesting, new, fun places that I havent been. Its extra points for effort. No chain restaurants. I want ambiance and a unique menu.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 10:15 PM
21

Yesssss this! I work with alot of folks on the spectrum and all of them are very self-aware, try hard, and are great folks. Like anything, it can be used as an excuse but I personally would never rule out a man like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 10:13 PM
16

This is very simple: most men are attracted to most women. But most women are only attracted to some men. Period. So your 'average' looking female will have the majority of single men interested in her while the 'average' looking male will have very few, if any. This is why there is that 80/20 rule on Tinder. That is most women swipe right on 20% of the men but most men swipe on 50% of the women. Women are far pickier (as we should be). **I just fact checked this and it looks like women right sw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 10:10 PM
0

Is this common? I mean, does it actually work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:55 PM
10

Whoops! Meant non-monogamy. Edited. Ty!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 01:45 AM
13

Right?!?! Always!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 01:45 AM
11

Yes, don't. Any time you feel like unblocking him and reaching out, come look at the memes in here. The sisterhood is strong in this group. We've been there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 01:44 AM
18

Serious question: who swipes on these dudes??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:37 PM
30

Too harsh? Tell your friends to GTFO it's almost 2020. If anyone even looked at one of my friends/ rotation guys because of their skin color, they would unleash the raging witch. You're being absolutely completely 100% reasonable. Beyond reasonable. I'd probably have an assault charge if I was confronted by overt racists. Please, the time for excusing any type of racism is long, long over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:35 PM
17

The potato one BAHAHAHAHA yes!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:31 PM
11

It's so common and so gross!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:30 PM
5

They do this in other cultures! It makes much more sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:28 PM
29

Are you following the FDS in the wiki? I am and have also noticed a similar pattern. At about 6 weeks-12 weeks, the true character comes out. If you're multi-dating, it makes it significantly easier to drop them out of rotation. You're less emotionally invested and therefore, less likely to fall into the "I'll just give him another chance" fallacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:27 PM
70

I believe OLD is even BETTER at weeding our LVM. Here's why: there are no social sanctions for bad behavior. They treat you like shit? You can't tell their friends or family or colleagues because you don't know them. Predatory behavior is way more prevalent in a world with no repercussions. When men are polite and respectful to you, a stranger, you're seeing their behavior when nobody is watching.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:06 PM
160

"Just here to see what's out there" = married and window shopping. "Dunno what I'm looking for" = confused AF. How are you 42 and this unsure about life? Pass. "I'm a dom looking for my new sub" = ok, kudos for honesty but still, gross. "Want Netflix and chill buddy. No hookups!!!" = riiiiiiiight "Ethically non-monogamous." = GTFO. No one will swipe on you. "My kids are my world. They will come first. I'm going through a divorce." = cluster drama dumpster fire of epic proportions. "I never know …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:04 PM
3

Sounds like you're already on the right track, you just need to apply that to your personal life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 10:57 PM
50

When I first started in undergrad, I asked a similar question to my older (35+) lady friends. This is the answer I received, and my results: To begin: try beginner classes in a ton of different sports, hobbies, projects, volunteer groups, or clubs. Next: Pick 2-3 that you really enjoy. Commit yourself for a solid year. End goal: Of the 2 or 3, decide which one you enjoy the best and make that a primary hobby. Rinse and repeat until you have a number of well cultivated interests and expertise in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 04:50 PM
170

Block immediately when they send you suggestive messages within the first month. Hold off on sexy fun times for at least 6 dates. Believe them when they tell you who they are! If they say "I'm a loner and bad at communication" BELIEVE THEM. If this is a dealbreaker for you, immediately walk away! Stop believing you'll change them. You. Can. Not. Fix. Them. Meet their friends, casually, as quickly as possible. The type of people men hang around says alot about the kind of person they are. Go to h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 01:12 PM
105

When a man says this to me I say: "But if I take your name and give it to my children, then who will carry on MINE?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 12:48 PM
11

I loved this so much. Hugs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 12:36 PM
2

I'm currently dating for fun and entertainment, but I'm not pursuing relationships at this time in my life. I'm also on the self-improvement/ probably single forever track. I have yet to find a reddit thread of single ladies that was worthwhile. Feel free to PM me! We are a rare but growing population.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 12:27 PM
32

I'm also childfree. My single gfs and I have been dating men for years looking for a serious guy who was not interested in reproducing and we simply cannot find many at all. It is unfortunate, but I have concluded that by and far most men who want children are the ones who get married and the rest just don't see the point. That said, FDS is still useful in avoiding the wrong types of men and in sorting through the trash, even if our end goals are not the same as many of our sisters in here. P.s.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 01:17 AM
6

Preach! I did the hairdo one for a New Years resolution when I was 28! Its so low investment for a huge return. I get compliments all the time now, even though I'm still pretty basic with it. Good luck to you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 01:06 AM
11

Yes, sorry, I should have been specific- in these cases it was Healthyish men losing maybe 10-30 lbs and becoming healthier. Not a big change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 04:31 PM
33

Gosh I've been there, OP. Unfortunately, 30 years of being a couch potato is hard to change unless the person has come to the conclusion on their own that they need to rethink their lifestyle. That said, I have dated men that have lost weight over the course of our relationship because I only eat clean and lead a very active lifestyle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 04:19 PM
108

When in doubt, I always side with the lady. When men offer me this kind of a situation, I asked if I can text the girlfriend or wife right then in there. Usually, it isn't actually an ethically non-monogamous situation and the wild backtracking begins. /eyeroll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 04:14 PM
138

I agree. Dick is abundant. Significantly fewer ladies are interested in being a sidepiece.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 03:18 PM
33

Intimidating = they know we are adulting on a level they can't even comprehend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 02:42 PM
28

Lovely! Best thing I ever did was purchase my own house. Here's how dating normally goes for me: Rando Guy: So, what's your living situation? Me: I own a house and live with my dog. Rando: OMG You're super intimidating! You own a HOUSE? Me: Thank you, next. If the guy is emasculated with a lady with financial independence, I'm not interested. Queens, it IS possible to be financially independent. Budget, sacrifice, work hard, be thrifty, and if all that fails- relocate to an area where home owner…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 02:31 PM
43

Or the people that have been separated for 3+ years. If there's really no drama and you want out, why not sign the paperwork? This has always confused me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 02:19 PM
70

I ask within the first few messages of texting. Here's my copy/ paste: I'd like to meet you! But first, I must ask: Are you legally, ethically, and logistically single? 'Not single' status includes, but is not limited to: living with your soon-to-be-ex and infant, living with ex's family, living with current girlfriend, involved in a trouple situation, involved with sex workers on a regular, currently sleeping with a woman who may think of you as her boyfriend/ husband, any on-and-off-again rela…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 02:07 PM
538

No opinion, just an observation. I knew a couple once. Man begged and pleaded for the Pickme to go poly. Reluctantly, in hopes to save the relationship, she did. Plot twist! Man couldn't find any women to go along as a sidepiece, but the lady found dozens of men more than willing to offer emotional/ financial/ sexual support for the lady. Pickme learned she was missing out and that she had significantly more opportunities than she had previously thought. External validation improved her sense of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 02:01 PM
5

I've learned they don't just ghost, bounce, flail, or vacillate in their romantic relationships, but in life. He wanted to chase the money. His mom cried over it, too. I wasn't the only one shocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 12:25 PM
10

User name: ConfusedAF 31M workaholic ISO super power lady for only marriage track LTR. However, I live in The Land of Cognitive Dissonance and will invite you on vacations to meet my family and break up with you with no warning due to a sudden change in life plans. I'll tell you I want to stay in the state we reside, but decide on a whim to take a permanent position in Afghanistan, but only after you've spent a month taking care of my house, dog, and car while I am gone for a work trip. Also, ED…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 03:02 AM
47

I think the idea is to actually be unavailable because you have an active, interesting life. The more interests and hobbies you cultivate and pursue, the less you'll need to fib and the more interesting you will be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 02:50 AM
11

I'm 36, live in a rural area and I've had a great time on OLD. My profile seethes confidence (its borderline narcissistic) as I've learned this weeds out many of the typical idiots (especially the insecure types). I'm extremely picky and if there are any bad/ weird/ annoying vibes from a conversation, they are quickly unmatched. I spend maybe an hour a week and I have enough dates for a month easily with this amount of effort. Overall, I've had fantastic dates- almost all of the men I've been ou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 12:22 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter