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alifeofpeace Archive

View 19 posts and 372 comments by alifeofpeace on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
76

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 09:19 PM
69

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 06:47 PM
60

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 09:02 PM
53

Dating After Divorcealifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 12:05 AM
52

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 10:49 PM
51

Dating After Divorcealifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 01:49 PM
49

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 06:53 PM
42

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 02:08 PM
41

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 01:49 PM
41

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 10:53 PM
31

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 06:26 PM
28

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 09:36 PM
26

Dating After Divorcealifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 09:25 PM
21

Custodyalifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 10:17 PM
14

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 02:17 PM
12

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 08:24 PM
9

Dating After Divorcealifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 03:26 PM
9

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 02:46 PM
1

alifeofpeace/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 10:16 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

25 year old women want 25 year old men
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 05:04 PM
3

I’ve been separated for over 2 1/2 years. Divorce is nearly finalised. I’ve had two relationships since I filed for divorce. One lasted six months the other one was 2 1/2 months. I’m single again and just taking my sweet time and not dating at all right now. I’m 43 years old I’m in good shape my finances are all alright. I have lots to rebuild my two kids need work. I need work. But what I do know is that when a woman comes into my life if I see the bad signs, I’ll let them go. I’ve done it twic…
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 09:15 PM
1

Thank you 😁
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 08:58 AM
8

I’ve had a few runs on the apps. Had some fun. I’ve had two relationships since my separation 30 months ago. I still am single. And plan to remain that way for the foreseeable future. My focus is on my kids and my business.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 10:41 PM
2

Bro you are good looking and fit. Lol. I also did well on bumble
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 10:55 PM
2

Time to end it. She wrecked the marriage with her cheating. You don’t have kids with her. Kick her to the curb
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 10:48 AM
1

I don’t blame you. That’s a heavy trauma to bear. I too have a hard time trusting people. I don’t think I have ever trusted a woman before. I see what people are capable of.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 01:46 PM
6

You dodged a missile!
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 01:40 PM
3

Yup. Thats how you get stuck in a nasty rebound
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:28 PM
1

Oh my. That’s terrible to hear man. How are you now after having suffered such a terrible betrayal?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 12:24 PM
1

This is the right answer
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 03:41 PM
5

It’s too soon. Take your time slow down relax. Enjoy your life. You don’t need to be with someone. You need to get past the loneliness . I’ve been single now for over two years and I’m doing just fine by myself . Focus on yourself in your life make friendships and prosper and grow
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 04:42 AM
2

How old are the kids here?
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 10:47 PM
8

I have no need for intimacy 26 months into my separation. I have had many relationships probably 10 plus in my life. I’m tired. It’s always the same story.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 03:56 PM
6

This is normal. I have an entire new group of friends. That’s all. People Come and go. It’s how life is. Don’t take it personal.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 04:20 PM
12

This is a deep betrayal and it hurts like hell. You should absolutely not trust a woman for a very long time. Take your time to recover bro it will get better
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 03:30 AM
5

Immediately dump. She’s nasty and vindictive. I can’t imagine how ugly she will get in a divorce proceeding.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 06:09 AM
3

If a woman ever told me something like that she would be dumped the same day
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 05:56 AM
4

It’s time for you to grieve the loss of your marriage. Find a safe space for you put on some good meditation music and cry it out. Most definitely get yourself a therapist. If you are a spiritual man or religion right now, it’s not a bad idea either. Make sure you walk get out in nature if you can go to park whatever it is walking is very therapeutic. And of course the gym is an option too, which can help you distress. Good luck, my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 11:03 AM
3

I’m glad that you see this. Once you forgive yourself, it’ll be easier for you to move on. We all make mistakes and we all sometimes pick the wrong person that’s okay you live you learn and you loved now it’s time to let go and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 10:44 AM
3

Ouch ouch ouch. Did you leave the demon?
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:48 PM
4

It’s unreal man. To be on the hookup for someone like this. The law is the law. Never again!
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:44 AM
7

Lots of women in their 30s or 40s with younger kids are in financial distress. Shit, even with grown kids are still in distress. And they tend to come on VERY strong which makes me bail real quick.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 01:08 AM
4

My BMI is under 24 I’m in excellent shape 😁
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 11:54 PM
3

For now I’ve decided to stay single and take care of myself and my kids. Thanks for sharing
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 11:54 PM
4

I’ve actually had lots of good times and lots of periods of contentment. I think this is a period of resentment that has popped up. I’ve come to the conclusion that relationships will be very difficult. I have found that I have changed a lot. And I’m not as open as I used to be. My trust in women has been severely damaged. What I have been through has utterly changed me. I can be single and I’m Getting more used to the idea. Little by little. Today I just needed to vent this
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 11:32 PM
5

The custody evaluation alone cost 55k We got hosed 25k for the accountant 5k for the vic exam The rest on both legal teams
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 09:57 PM
1

Not sure
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 09:02 PM
1

I read your post. She was moving REAL fast. Glad you got out of that. I was more curious to see what I could get out there. From a dating market perspective. I have a good idea after a few months of online dating. I have no need for female companionship. Physical urges are a different matter but they can be contained. Women want to claim you and want you to invest emotionally and financially. Not interested in that. I simply want peace and I would like to lose the bitterness and resentment
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 08:29 PM
1

Why don’t we start our own. I’m in OC as well
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 08:25 PM
1

Par for the course
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 08:10 PM
2

I exercise. I spend time with friends and my kids. I go outdoors a lot. Church. Therapy from time to time
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:37 PM
2

It’s all part of the package
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:18 PM
2

What a shame. I know they aren’t all like that. But you can never convince me otherwise emotionally
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:13 PM
4

Yes there was. It got so ugly. I’m now recognizing the very deep impact it’s had on me. Over 2 years out and I’m full of bitterness.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 07:09 PM
3

Child custody evaluator Forensic accountant Vocational expert
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 06:58 PM
5

Bro she tricked you into meeting her daughter, she then had you baby sit. No no no Glad you got out She was moving 100 mph
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 03:59 PM
1

Very easy for me to get a girlfriend Very hard to find a friend with benefit
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 10:16 PM
6

Most of the ladies I met want a relationship before getting down
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 09:32 PM
7

Hard to find for most
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 09:31 PM
4

You have a big heart man.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 12:00 PM
9

It ain’t pretty that’s for sure
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 03:24 AM
7

I don’t know man. Not sure if my way is good either. Imagine always living with someone’s going to fuck you over.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 02:38 AM
10

I’ve never been blindsided in my life. Because I have hypervigilance and I look for threats. This is probably why I’ve never really bonded with a woman in my life. I’ve never trusted them.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 02:34 AM
4

Don’t date for a while. Give yourself some time to recover Sorry about all this. But it does get better I promise you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 09:12 AM
2

This right here
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 05:14 AM
1

26 months in
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 06:45 PM
3

Maybe it’s OK not to Date for a while
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 01:01 AM
5

Get out now if she won’t take care of herself Imagine in 10 years
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 06:31 PM
1

I pay for dates By the 4th or 5th I’m done
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 05:59 PM
2

Great insights. I have no interest in being anyone’s provider other than myself and my children. If that means I will stay single for the rest of my life, I’m okay with it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 04:54 PM
2

Some of them outright said they wanted a man to be a provider and protector. Others would never pay for dinners. Others would say that eventually they wanted to work less and have the guy take over. Another said, I just wanna have a man to make my life easier. Basically, they were looking for someone to make their lives easier
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/25 02:09 AM
7

Let me ask you a question Why do you have to get legally married? Why not just be together?
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 07:25 PM
2

Sorry to hear that you’re having trouble with this. Dating apps can be really hard. I can send you a private message maybe I can help you a little
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 04:27 PM
1

That’s crazy. 4 years? Where do you live? Big town small town? Do you work out? Are you making yourself attractive to the ladies ?
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 03:54 PM
3

I’ve done alright. I could have banged a lot of these but they would have caught feelings and I didn’t need that drama. I was very selective with who I banged. It takes time and energy that’s why I take breaks sometimes long ones and focus on myself and my kids and hobbies
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 03:53 PM
1

What are the things that interest you? You can find like minded groups on Facebook
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 12:58 PM
8

Just dip out whenever you want One of my female friends was having a hard time with her boyfriend I told her you know you’re just dating. You can break up with him at any time. She looked at me like I was a fucking alien
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 04:40 AM
1

The apps are great But yes, they really want you to be theirs Not gonna happen
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 04:39 AM
3

They sure are in a hurry to lock you down and every time it sends me packing, LOL
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 04:39 AM
4

Full custody of four kids is no joke You have your hands full for sure But it’s a good way to stay busy You’re raising your children and that is honourable Enjoy your life and live in peace
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/25 04:36 AM
3

lol I’d kick her right back
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 06:35 AM
5

That hasn’t been my experience at all. I’ve met lots of very serious ladies looking for a bf.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 03:00 PM
2

🤣
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:40 AM
5

I 100% completely understand you I am the same way, bro I am staying single and taking care of me And living life on my terms
/r/MensRights15/06/25 09:49 AM
1

Hire an escort Go to church Go somewhere exotic Do something !
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 08:47 AM
1

Yeah, my brain has not understood these concepts. I have just too much fucking shit that’s happened to me in my life why I can’t understand these concepts. Perhaps it’s a toxic legacy of the abuse that I’ve suffered. I just don’t understand it at all. I will meditate on it and journal it, but I will shut the fuck up and I wont do this again. All of you guys can’t be wrong so I do trust that you guys are making sense here. And yes, I do dismiss other people stories cause the vast majority of them…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 11:42 PM
2

Yeah, I know what I need to do I have my therapist. I’m doing deep trauma therapy EMDR. Just trying to get through this day, bro it’s a brutal fucking day thanks for chatting with me
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 11:11 PM
4

I guess I’m just not there yet. My trauma is much deeper than just this fucking divorce. It goes to my childhood. I was severely traumatized by my mother. I was bitten by her. Violently attacked. And even molested by her . Lots of pain and depression oozing out of me today.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 11:05 PM
2

It’s not even about the woman. It’s just about the entire experience. Anyways, it’s all good.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 10:54 PM
3

I’m not so sure I was wronged. I don’t even care if I was wronged. I just know that I’m fucking miserable today and I made the mistake of sharing my misery with people that don’t understand what we’re going through. I can’t get my mind to agree with what you said. I guess I’m just not there yet. Until you’ve had your kids taken from you, you can never relate or understand this pain. Today is just a low day for me.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 10:48 PM
3

I agree with most of what you said. 100% only talk about this with a very tight circle. As for waking up every day, making it a great day I just don’t think that’s gonna be possible. There’s too much loss going on for me and I’m grieving too much the loss of my children. Some days are just gonna be shitty and that’s all there is to it. But I agree this is not about winning the Pain Olympics. And I also agree that people just can’t handle your bullshit. They don’t wanna deal with it at work. This…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 10:27 PM
1

It always is great in the beginning. How did you figure out she was an avoidant from the jump? Was it because of her dating history or did you just figure it out?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 11:48 PM
2

Did you realise that your most recent t ex was an avoidant?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 11:19 PM
8

Very well stated. A lot of these brothers don’t know about this so that’s why it’s important that we share and that we educate them before they get sucked in.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 09:58 PM
2

Yes bro. Learn
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 09:05 PM
6

Just go on YouTube and type in avoidant attachment
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 08:58 PM
1

Oh man. Did the second one trick you and reel you in or was it obvious?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 08:57 PM
2

lol 😂
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 04:18 PM
9

Dismissive avoidants are more than just users. They have attachment problems and they do deactivate. A lot of these divorce guys have no idea what I’m talking about and they will come across these avoidance and they will get very hurt by them. That’s why I made this post if you are trained and adept and emotional self-control avoidant women are perfect to date on a casual basis.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 04:07 PM
1

What do you mean? Check your private messages
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 03:37 PM
6

Avoidants are like this because of their parents. They remain in the dating pool because they don’t fix their issues. For those of us who are out of marriages but don’t want commitment, avoidants are perfect for this. They like noncommittal relationships. When it’s time to go back to monogamy to find yourself a healthy person.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 03:15 PM
9

They are not personality disordered. It’s an attachment style.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 02:03 PM
1

Stay the course man. Plenty of fish in the sea, especially if you don’t have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 01:42 PM
10

I’m fit. In shape. Groom well. Dress well. Earn good money. Lots of ladies like me. There are good women out there that work. Just have to be very selective. Good luck,
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 07:27 PM
1

🤣
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 10:47 AM
1

Thank you 🙏🏻
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 10:39 AM
2

THIS RIGHT HERE
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 08:44 AM
2

Be thankful the kids love you and have not been brainwashed by her. Better for her to be indifferent instead to be actively sabotaging your relationship with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 10:02 AM
5

Time to get out, brother
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 05:57 PM
5

You’ll be good brother. You loved and you lost you’re not the first or the last you got this man. You’re gonna be all right. Let it all out. Feel the pain feel the loss grieve the loss cry. It’s OK we’ve all been through this shit.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 08:40 PM
7

You need to call me dude. Send me a private message and I will talk to you today. This is just a low point he will bounce out of
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 06:57 PM
3

Time does heal the wounds. We also have to consciously want better for ourselves. We also need to improve ourselves and look back and reflect on where we were wrong in our marriages. There’s no way it was all their fault for some of us We were the culprits. But as men, it hurts us to lose our families it hurts to lose our sense of purpose all the relationships the friendships for holidays the entire structure that takes a lot of time to repair, especially if you enjoy being a married man. I do m…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 09:40 PM
3

You’re allowed to feel these things man. Divorce is fucking hard. It’s a loss of so much. ESPECIALLY with kids. Don’t let anyone tell you how you’re supposed to feel. Give yourself grace man you’ve been through hell.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 09:04 PM
5

Monk mode right here, brother
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 09:27 AM
2

I understand that. You’ll have better insight on the dating forum. I gave you my two cents. There’s better matches for you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 09:19 PM
4

This is the wrong forum to be asking this type of question. But since you’re gonna mess around with someone in this type of situation, I would highly advise you to run run run far away from him. 16 years is a long time he still living with her it’s a messy situation. Go find somebody else. There’s more to life than just chemistry. You can find someone else who will be a better match for you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 09:15 PM
14

Time for her to go brother. Send her off on her merry way.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/25 10:52 PM
2

Good idea
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 02:13 PM
5

Lots of people taking offense with the OP. Some of us do better with this type of messaging. It’s fine with me
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 10:38 PM
3

I don’t think she cares about hurting him. She’s just moving on with her life. Women don’t care about hurting the men. Our feelings are irrelevant to them.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 04:02 AM
2

Yup.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 01:38 AM
1

Sorry to hear about your situation. I have a very different background than most. I was very abused as a child by my mother I suffered physical attacks emotional attacks even some incest. I have never trusted women. I had them in my life for their purposes, but never trusted them. When I hear these stories, I’m not surprised I don’t believe that women truly love men. I believe women are emotional creatures and when they are in their feelings, can do nice things, but their feelings change as they…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 11:28 AM
1

You’ve come to the right place. You will be alright. Take the advice of the others in this thread which is really good. If you are a man of faith go to church.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 10:58 AM
3

3 months is all it took? Transactional wow
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 05:09 AM
6

Why is she leaving
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/25 05:01 AM
3

Brutal bro. So sorry for this. Have some hope in time you can move closer.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 11:50 AM
6

You will get there. Edited to “such” peace Hence my username I wanted a life of peace and I have it
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 01:51 PM
12

20 months in and I feel such peace. I now have peace in my life. And it feels great. This is why I filed. I wanted peace
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 12:27 PM
1

Thanks. I have 2 boys and I’m taking good care of them. I’m good on women for a while. I’ve had enough of their bullshit
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 12:14 AM
12

It’s big business!
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 11:22 AM
3

Amen brother. I had a pretty bad break up just 8 weeks ago And my divorce got pretty high conflict as well I’m tired from women period and need a break. A long extended break
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 11:53 PM
3

Yeah I made the decision to date someone a year after the separation. Ended in flames lol. Lesson learned. Going back in my shell
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 11:45 PM
4

I wrote this while at work. A quick blurb. It stung me for 20 minutes. I’m already smiling
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 09:16 PM
4

I have let it go. Doesn’t even bother me lol. That was the point of the post
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 09:12 PM
3

It’s all good. Day by day.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 09:07 PM
7

If you want to go see her, go see her
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 09:28 PM
2

Amen
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 04:10 AM
1

When the time is right. Good luck to you
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 10:27 PM
1

I have kids. It’s a little different for me. Dating is highly distracting.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 10:13 PM
6

I filed for divorce 20 months ago. I dated 12 months out. It lasted 7 months. It was hot and heavy and ended abruptly. It showed me I can move on. And I have moved on. But I miss my kids and the family unit still. Life’s too short to be stuck in the past. Grieve and try to move on by loving yourself. Divorce is hard. But you will have happier days I promise you. You have to want to have them.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 09:58 PM
3

I appreciate the honesty here. I dated a woman I was friends with 12 months after separation. I broke up with her 7 months in. That hurt like hell. But I needed someone more calm. Someone that would be less high conflict going forward. I’m staying alone now. It’s hard but I feel that if I can get used to it I can take some time to recharge my batteries.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 09:56 PM
11

Wow! Vindictive bitch
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 12:04 PM
4

Went to a night club alone and danced. Had a great time
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 11:24 AM
3

Second that😎. Must read
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 04:05 AM
2

Damn man
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/25 07:29 AM
1

Your separation just began. Give it sometime and don’t make any decisions that are rash. If you still feel this way in 4 months that’s a different story
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 11:11 PM
5

I got tired of the drinking in excess and the bullshit. I got tired of being used for what I could bring to the table. I got tired of being disrespected. I was ready to be respected.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 07:16 PM
1

I’m sorry you are going through this. That sounds very difficult. Some of us really struggle with letting go of the relationship and I can understand to an extent. I left my ex wife because of her lying and drinking and cheating. I never looked back. It was easy to walk away from her as she made my life difficult and stressful. The divorce has been extremely difficult and very costly. She has fought me on everything but especially with the kids. We aren’t on talking terms. I tried many times to …
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 12:09 PM
1

I left my monster and she hired a brutal attorney who tries to take my kids away from me. I have genuine disdain for my ex wife.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 11:57 AM
1

I feel you man. Sometimes the downtime is nice but yeah man definitely didn’t sign up for this. I try to make the best out of my life so I’m not miserable.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 11:34 AM
3

People with cluster B personality disorders are more likely to end up in divorce. And they are also far more likely to end up in high conflict divorce. Hence, cluster Bs tend to me overrepresented in high conflict divorces.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 12:25 AM
2

Hard to see myself as lucky. I see myself as being in a better position than some of the brothers out there. But then there’s the dads that get their kids every day. They are the true winners here
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 03:40 PM
1

Thanks for sharing
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 03:39 PM
1

Amen
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 08:09 PM
5

I wish you could get more time with them brother
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 11:48 AM
3

I divorced her because she was a drunk and a liar. No cheating. But she’s dark enough to manipulate them at some point
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 03:52 AM
6

I love them deeply
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 01:09 AM
8

You absolutely have to see the kids. Not seeing them will damage them so much. Believe it or not but the time spent with the kids is so important for them. You are doing the good work. Keep it up. And yes I feel your pain. I feel it deeply.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 12:40 AM
5

Jeez man I’m sorry to hear that. I’m going to send you a private message
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 11:24 PM
7

I can respect that. I had to leave because it got dangerous for me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 11:24 PM
4

I feel that and I’ve heard the same. It never really stops.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 09:30 PM
2

Yup. It fucking hurts.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 09:24 PM
1

I was separated over a year before I started dating. My divorce will take a long time due to multiple companies owned by me. We are estimating a final date in another 12-18 months.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 01:22 PM
1

My ex killed my respect and trust and attraction for her with her constant lies, disrespect and drinking. When it was time to end it, things were very easy to discuss with her. I didn’t experience anything like you did. I went through my own hell nevertheless as she made it so hard for the child custody portion of the case. And then of course the pain of breaking the family I hated that. But time heals all wounds. Im sorry you are hurting. It sounds very real and very painful what you are going …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 08:22 AM
1

No big deal. You did a good job coming on here. Cool off. Limit your contact. Learn to respond instead of react. I tell my STBX to be nice when she’s being rude. She can’t get to me anymore and it drives her crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 02:31 PM
28

I’m happy to be away from her. Just miss my kids
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 12:14 PM
2

I’m sorry you suffered like this for so long. I was abused by my mom growing up. I’m pretty sure she has BPD. If a woman ever laid a finger on me I would walk out on her on the spot. Obviously for my own mental health and dignity. But also For her own safety. As someone who was raised with violence, it’s in my second nature to react with violence. I don’t do well with violence at all and stay far away from it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 08:30 AM
5

Not a simp. This man was viciously abused and assaulted. This is called Stockholm syndrome.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 08:21 AM
4

Agree with everything you said here. The hardest part is not having my boys with me. I miss them so much
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 11:11 PM
-1

It’s 30 mins. Not a big deal
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 06:07 PM
8

I’m doing great. She ruined her life not mine! I was spared a mediocre life with a person that refused to work and refused to ever help me. Just an anchor!
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 05:10 PM
3

What a sick way to live.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 02:04 PM
4

That’s the scary part. These people just stay angry for years.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 02:00 PM
6

Your case sounds like mine. Ugh. These angry people just don’t have an off button. Sorry for your troubles.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:50 PM
1

I always do what’s in the best interests of my boys. She has this maniacal hatred of me. I have always been flexible and accommodating. She’s already demonstrated that she’s willing to hurt the kids to get to me. Just in small ways. But she still keeps doing it
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:42 PM
2

So women are unable to choose their own state of mind? Anyways please leave this forum
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:37 PM
2

I have my orders thank God. It’s 60-40. Seeking 50-50 and if required will seek more
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:30 PM
-1

The kids wanted more time. I didn’t ask For it. And it’s 30 Minutes lol not 3 hours.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:18 PM
13

How about you leave this group
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 02:45 AM
10

I just wanted out. I was tired of being used and abused. She didn’t want to work. Didn’t want to stop drinking. Wouldn’t stop lying. She was a mess
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 02:39 AM
3

I knew mine was a bag of tricks. But I made a big mistake because I wasn’t right either.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:45 AM
9

The problem is the personality disordered ones. They are a nightmare to deal with
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:42 AM
4

This is exactly what I’ve been doing
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 10:52 PM
8

We are in a custody evaluation. I don’t play games with the orders
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 10:41 PM
1

I’m calling to check on them Being angry at her doesn’t benefit me She’s just toxic and needs to be avoided
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 11:06 PM
3

They get stupid
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 10:45 PM
1

Nice man. Mine are too little. When they have their own phone I’ll call them daily
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 10:10 PM
2

I have true revulsion for her now. And I really appreciate the days when there’s zero contact
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 10:09 PM
1

When they get a little older I’ll do that
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 09:13 PM
5

I am very happy to be away from my ex wife. She’s a lying, cheating, drinking, manipulative user. My life is loads better without her in it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 08:21 PM
5

I’m 41. My looks declined from my peak years at 30. But I colored my hair and got in shape. I’m garnering attention again. I have a girlfriend who is 40 and we have amazing sex together and she’s a hottie. Just get in shape get good clothes and work hard
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 09:53 AM
1

My divorce is dragging into year 2. Could easily last another year or more. Dating during the first 12 months should be off limits for sure for most people.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 04:14 AM
4

Started dating a year post separation. Keeping it mild and fun
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 04:14 PM
5

What a mess
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 08:09 PM
1

That’s not true. Lots of NPD are self aware
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 05:14 PM
2

She sounds like a control freak borderline personality. She will go scorched earth on him and alienate the kids. He’s in for some hell
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 10:39 AM
3

I don’t know what it’s like to leave someone when things aren’t crazy. My marriage was collapsing but it involved alcohol abuse, false allegations with cops showing up to my house, her hiding money, her getting caught cheating at a bar with a guy making out, child manipulation even before I filed, etc. it was very easy to GTFO emotionally as I was in danger.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 02:02 PM
2

Great response brother. I agree ☝️
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 08:28 PM
5

Not all women want to be led you know. Many societies are matriarchal. This is a myth that men tell themselves that women want to be led. Some do. Not all
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/24 07:47 PM
1

Valid
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/24 05:07 AM
2

Being a lawyer and having studied community property I know full well that half goes to her. However, I sit in very different position. I come from a wealthy family and own millions in separate property that is off the table. Post nuptial agreement that her own lawyer conceded on the record as being invalid. She will never get a hold of the real money
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 07:12 PM
4

Some positives are that she doesn’t want an expensive wedding ring and doesn’t want an expensive wedding. That’s a huge plus right there. Obviously she wants the marriage as it’s in her interests to have the legal contract. She would be a fool to have kids with you with no alimony and other benefits of legal marriage. Once she has kids and stops working she becomes dependent on you. And if you divorce she is protected. Not everyone ends up in divorce. Just know the risks and I believe you do. Te…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 09:08 PM
1

No im in civil litigation. I can DM you
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 04:50 PM
3

I’m an attorney myself. The case is extremely high conflict. Cluster B psycho with false allegations. We’re in a custody evaluation. We got temporary orders on custody 11 months post filing. It’s a mess
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 04:25 PM
3

I could care less about the cost. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 03:05 PM
3

I do call but he’s 6 and it’s lasts like 40 seconds lol I sometimes see them for a little during that 5 day block. The video game is a great idea
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 02:58 PM
5

lol
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 11:41 PM
1

I agree. Make them spend in court
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 03:43 PM
3

lol not our problem!
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 02:23 PM
2

That’s the beginning of your recovery. Btw I saw your pics lol that’s awesome. These bitches are hungry for the D hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 05:14 PM
17

Bro you sound like you are really suffering. Sorry man. You need to get a therapist ASAP. Divorced life isn’t so bad you’ll see.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 03:48 PM
2

Lol
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/24 03:43 PM
1

How?
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 03:29 PM
4

I always knew. I just underestimated how bad it can be. I also assumed that the good in her would outweigh the bad. Now the bad has fully taken over. She’s fully consumed by lies, drinking, bitterness, anger, jealousy, hatred. The devil has a stronghold on her
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 02:50 PM
2

Harder to pair bond after so many partners.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 02:50 PM
12

Having kids is a game changer. We are not single men anymore. Women nowadays are low quality as is. The good ones are taken. And those left behind have lots of issues. Dating is hard when you are a single man. With young kids lol it’s just a different level. So you have the choice of dating a single mom and then one day possibly blending families (which is really hard to do) or you can hold out for a lady with no kids. That will come with it’s own resentments as she will be raising “another woma…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 12:57 PM
2

I hope your boy is yours bro. Good luck with that Don’t hate her bro. She’s evil. Behind her is the devil and his demons and they have her under control. She is choosing this path. But her soul is in grave danger. Pray for her
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 07:10 PM
1

I still have to deal with outrageous false allegations in the court. I’m pulling the transcripts and looking for ethical violations on her lawyers behalf. I won’t let them get off Scott free
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 06:40 PM
7

Get out for your life. These borderlines are evil
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 11:22 AM
4

This forum kept me going as well. I was very sad when the divorce went down. I filed and I chose to leave. But it still broke my heart to watch my family fall apart. The relationship was toxic from the beginning and we should have never married each other. This forum helps us in that it shows we aren’t alone. Keep moving forward
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 05:17 AM
3

He can always date and keep it quiet from the kids. Everyone is different but I feel like my kids need time to heal and recover from our divorce. It’s been a year but I moved out in Feb. the longer the better. I can’t believe how fast some people not only move on but introduce others to their kids!
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 05:13 AM
2

It’s not necessary to have a woman to be happy. Many people find happiness without a relationship
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 04:16 AM
3

Sorry to hear about this bullshit. I too was subjected to false allegations of abuse. Lucky for me I filed first and made my own REAL allegations of her being a drunk and a fuck up. I beat her to the punch and it took some steam away. It doesn’t change the fact that she STILL makes up fabricated lies about me. Stay calm. Keep fighting her lying ass. If she goes down the road of poisoning your daughters minds and is successful with alienation that’s a different conversation. I really hope that it…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 09:16 AM
22

They aren’t very good at math
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 01:14 PM
5

What a disgusting bitch. Keep fighting for your child
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 05:21 AM
1

Tell him to shit or get off the pot
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 05:16 AM
1

Chill bro. Not everyone is so shady
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 03:35 AM
6

Posts like this are why I’ll end up single until the kids are grown. Blending families is so hard. Focus on your kids. Katie is great and all but you only have so many years with the kids being young. Katie is acting like a single woman. If that’s the case she can raise her kids on her own with her own money
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 11:01 AM
9

Why are you here?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 06:38 PM
2

Wow. Talk about a shit show. Stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 03:00 PM
6

Bro seriously set her up to lose her shit. Record it. Have the police ready. Get her arrested for battery and domestic violence. Take control
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 02:47 PM
8

She sounds like a nightmare and you need a backbone. She’s treating you like a worthless bum. I know because my ex acted the same way. I gave her hell in court and still am! Fuck the house fuck the money. If she wants 100 percent custody and wants to deny you vacation time bro you fight hard for the kids
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 10:59 AM
7

Thanks for sharing. Your a good dude with a kind heart. I’m glad you found the strength to get out of this very toxic and dysfunctional relationship!
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 09:45 AM
2

You don’t need to go anywhere. Get an audio voice recorder and record every in person interaction with her. No one has to leave the martial home. Sorry you are about to go through hell. But leaving her is worth saving your life!
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 09:28 AM
4

She said she didn’t want kids. The end. They control the womb and that’s all there is to it. She’s leaving him and rightfully so. He should marry a woman who wants kids. Problem solved.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 02:00 PM
1

The game of love is a big game of chance man. As long as you can find peace and joy without a partner you’ll be in a good shape. I can spend most of my day chatting with friends and I’m good
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 03:03 AM
0

Ouch. Sounds like you got majorly fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 02:51 AM
28

Im 1 year out bro. I look at women in the gym and I just see a threat to my peace. I’ve been burned way too many times.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 04:32 PM
2

Biches be crazy bro sorry for your troubles
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 10:46 AM
1

Scary thought isn’t it? They resent the “beta” Men that want them while they pine for the alphas that got away. And they actually do a great job of hiding how they really feel about the dudes they resent. It leaks out later but man do they wear a good mask
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 10:41 AM
1

It’s helped me a lot. But I have issues clearly ☺️
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 06:10 AM
1

Your kid is young. And the dude will leave, sorry you are feeling this pain my friend
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 07:42 AM
3

Don’t hold yourself responsible for why she lied and cheated. She lied because she’s a liar and cheated because she’s a cheater. Weak in character no doubt. Maybe she will learn from this and become a better person. But don’t ever forget that she did you dirty for her own reasons that have nothing to do with you brother
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 07:14 AM
3

Interesting
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 04:20 AM
3

How can you tell they are alpha widows
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 01:40 AM
2

Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 07:58 PM
2

Im doing alright brother. Day by day. Have lots of friends. Staying strong and healthy
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 07:35 PM
2

Wait the assessment was ONE interview? We are in a custody evaluation and I’ve already had FOUR interviews. With at least another FOUR to go lol
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 07:12 PM
2

8 months isn’t bad. When are you planning on moving in?
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 05:25 PM
2

Right. My divorce is an absolute shitshow. 100k in 9 months bro. Court experts, psychologists, police reports, war zone.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 04:58 PM
6

Hey brother glad you are feeling better. How long after your wife said she wanted out did you start dating the new lady? Any kids?
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 03:36 PM
2

Yup I’m familiar with Splitting. Divorce with kids is hard enough. Divorce with a high conflict personality cluster B psycho is so much worse BECAUSE IT NEVER GETS BETTER. You have to deal with them like this forever. Just look at Brad Pitt the A level actor. 8 years in court and she’s turned nearly all the kids against him. You have to learn the grey rock and use it. There’s no being friends there’s no coparenting.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 01:55 PM
11

Im sorry she did you wrong brother. Unfortunately these things do happen. More often than we hear about. Great work on finding out the truth. Get your ducks in a row. Get yourself a bag of cash for the coming shitshow. DONT MOVE OUT until the lawyer said so. Get recording devices to protect yourself if she goes victim on you. Good luck. Sorry for this. You sound like a man that loves his family. You will be happier when you aren’t with a cheater. And looking back those rocky years you’ll see she…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 09:31 AM
9

I’ve read somewhere that up to 40 Percent of high conflict divorces include someone with a personality disorder
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 10:56 PM
4

I’ll never understand what a normal divorce looks like. When you’re dealing with constant false allegations and a war with no end.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 10:28 PM
2

Damn right brother .
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 02:14 PM
2

Oh wow she didn’t go. What a piece of shit. At least your son still has the heart to love and try his hand with getting married. Wish you guys all the best.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 02:11 PM
1

Sorry you had to go through that. One of the worse things that can happen to a father and it’s rarely ever discussed. I’m glad you got them back.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:25 PM
2

How old were the boys when this happened? And for how many years were the boys alienated from you? Sounds like you’ve been through a lot. I do talk a little shit on her. Seems like she’s gonna do what she’s gonna do so I may as well get a little jab in lol.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:16 PM
3

It’s best the kids don’t have to deal with your new gf for a while. The longer you stay single the better for your kids. Put them first now that they are little.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 08:54 AM
4

The only thing you should focus on is comparing the new ladies to your ex and see why you are doing this. Personally I think it’s very good for us not to date after divorce. Not for a long time. I was very traumatized with all that happened and will have struggles trusting women romantically going forward. I got burned real bad can’t afford for that to happen again
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 05:59 AM
1

How did you feel you were putting your girlfriend ahead of your little ones ?
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 05:56 AM
1

We are in psych evaluation right now. She’s pretty head strong and never has melt downs. Her weakness is booze
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:08 AM
1

This sounds like a nightmare situation. I wish I knew more facts of the case. Here in California they give even the worst offenders some visitation.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 01:53 PM
1

I went through some of her notes a few weeks before I served her. Man, that’s a scary mind she has. This was during a time where we falling apart as a 12 year couple. In her writings, she basically wrote how she was going to live with our kids at the beach in a mansion with a ocean access worth 10 million. That she would be worth 100 million. That she would make 100k net per month. That she and the kids would all live together in love in perfect love and that everything would be perfect. In abou…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 11:27 AM
1

I did save myself bro. So glad. Maybe my boys will come with me one day. Maybe not. The price of peace
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 06:03 AM
4

It’s been a year since I dumped her ass and let me tell you she’s been on a rampage since. Of course it’s primarily all her fault that her life is in shambles. I fight tooth and nail for my kids. But even with them I’m realizing that this is a battle she will have an advantage on me for now. As their mom who doesn’t work she has all day to fuck with me while also manipulating the kids against me. Won’t be long until reality comes crumbling down on her and she ends up bankrupted. It still elicits…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 09:37 PM
2

Telltale sign there’s a cluster B involved when the parties need the apps
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 09:28 PM
3

Thats a good thing bro. It will keep you from falling into a rebound relationship. Stay away from women for as long as possible. Eventually when you are better you will find someone that will be a good match for you. But you have to do the work
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 07:53 PM
6

100 Percent. I give her as many “victories” as she can have
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 06:51 PM
3

Thats what I advised. Reconciliation is hard. Sometimes people need to tell themselves they did everything they could
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 06:09 PM
3

I was simply trying to show that it can be done. It’s hard. And everyone is saying leave her no second chances she did you wrong. But man, you only get one chance at having your family intact. If people want to try give them a sincere chance.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 04:17 PM
3

You need to learn how to have her NOT IMPACT you brother. Wish you healing and safety my brother. You need to discard her and devalue her to nothingness
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 04:07 PM
4

It’s your life and you can choose how you want to live it and it’s your story. If she does BPD treatment and truly confessed and repented of her sins against you then go ahead and give her a chance. DONT REMARRY. Try living separate for a while dating. Don’t let her move in. She has to work and take care of herself. You have all the leverage here. And if it doesn’t work out? Just say peace Personally I believe in giving people second chances if they truly are remorseful. We are human and we make…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 03:17 PM
3

This forum needs to be shared around the world. Don’t get married!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 02:10 PM
6

Pretty sure my ex is BPD/NPD as well. Fucking disaster. I’m no cupcake either but man she’s so toxic. Glad I bailed. With two kids and a business it’s going to cost a fortune
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 02:01 PM
1

Very amicable. My divorce has been a full blown disaster. 100k in fees and rising
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 04:31 AM
2

My divorce is dragging into month 10 now and is bumping up against 100k in attorney fees, court appointed psychologists and forensic accountants. Allegations of physical abuse against the children continues. Every time I try to do something with the boys that she can’t afford to do she cries that im abusive and it’s unsafe for the kids. Unfortunately I sensed she had this dark side in her during the marriage which of course led me to pulling the plug on it. Yes I filed. I took away her opportuni…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 09:10 AM
1

That’s a different ballgame. I think your the dude with the kids in Hawaii
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 02:45 AM
6

Definitely stay away from rebound. Tough it out solo. You will get through it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 09:39 AM
3

Yuck. Despicable behavior. We can definitely see where she learned it from! Congrats on escaping a trash family!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 10:40 AM
2

Your better off staying single until the majority of the drama is done. The problem when you have young kids is that you will have significant involvement with your ex. I figure it’s best to focus on my children first, my business, my friends. My own life. When the kids are grown, maybe then I can consider a cupcake. For now they can fuck off
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 09:10 PM
1

And THAT is exactly the risk here. My STBXW was one of those decisions. I came out of a 5 year relationship and within weeks I met her and immediately “fell in love” and got sucked into an 11 year saga and shit show. I knew even then I was making a big mistake being with her but by then I “couldn’t get out.” This time I REFUSE to make the same mistake. Thanks for sharing
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 02:26 PM
5

It’s the second brain. But it’s also codependency. Many men are very weak without a woman to validate them
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 02:15 PM
1

It depends on the person. The more wise people tell me to wait. The less sophisticated tell me to go manwhore. I mean look I’ve employed pros on the occasion. But that’s PURELY transactional
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 02:14 PM
8

Bruh she’s a cheater. Next her and move on. You were honorable she was dishonorable. Don’t waste energy on people that don’t deserve you
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 10:47 AM
4

A little kitty doesn’t hurt until it does. That first year is very tender and lots of men have made life long impacting mistakes in that period. Men fall into marriage mode thinking when they come out of a marriage level relationship. That time out gives you perspective
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 09:31 AM
0

Here’s what happened with me. Once I moved out, I slowly got my life back. I do all the things that i love when I have my free days. I put in extra hours at work. But at night man I’m out all the time just having a good time. You will get to enjoy it and learn to find yourself again
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 04:50 AM
2

I’m not so sure. People are inherently selfish. Some of us would never let a woman come between their kids. Some of us let it happen. It’s just the way life is. Not all of us love our children the same.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 04:28 AM
2

Lots of dudes get sucked into new relationships while they are very vulnerable. Lots of dudes that are very codependent can’t handle being alone. This is how you hear about men that walk away from their kids and move away. Cupcake gets pregnant and before you know it he has a new family.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 03:59 AM
7

Take it sloooowwww You were with her for a very long time Take time to HEAL
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 02:11 AM
3

Their brains are getting nuked with love chemicals. Namely, dopamine and serotonin and oxytocin. They are making long term decisions based on short term chemically induced (sex) actions. As for your ex she was likely checked out a long time ago.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 12:45 AM
4

There is very much a logical explanation. Humans are social creatures and they love being paired. It’s easier too when there’s new dick and a new wet vagina. As for my buddy, there is no talking sense in him. Lots of guys are weak like this man. And he will justify his decision no matter what. It’s just how life is and in the end we all make our decisions and live with them. I decided to move 2 miles from my ex. I’m right here always for my beautiful sons
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 12:21 AM
5

Enjoy your life bro. You deserve too
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 09:47 PM
11

Im Happy to be divorced. I don’t envy their marriage shackles
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 09:25 PM
8

Who cares about what people think. They can go to hell. They have their own problems. Millions of divorces every year. Make the best of your NEW life
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 09:15 PM
0

The brutal truth right here alpha fucks beta bux
/r/MensRights16/05/24 04:33 AM
4

Focus on your kids and yourself man DONT get into a new relationship not for a while. At least a year. I just completed my first year single and it’s starting to get real nice
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 09:11 PM
2

Yup! Also consider that these cluster Bs have a much higher chance of divorce
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 09:07 PM
1

I see.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 04:59 PM
3

You don’t have kids. Who cares. Let it drag on it doesn’t matter. It will keep you from remarrying
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 04:19 PM
5

41m here. 2 young boys. Separated for about 10 months. I’ve done a little bit of dating. Here’s what I found. Most of the ladies 35-40 without kids wanted kids with the exception of one. She never said a reason. The ones with kids didn’t care so much about them. I turned off all the apps. Am not dating atm. Don’t know when I’ll start again. I really am just enjoying life without the distractions relating to dating.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 02:22 PM
2

Wow so you found a unicorn
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 02:19 PM
8

Gtfo. You are staying here for your boys. Fight her like hell. Take out all your frustration on her!
/r/MensRights13/05/24 08:19 PM
2

Finding them is a second, third, fourth job. LOL sounds like way too much work! Is the juice worth the squeeze? lol
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 03:15 PM
2

Yup. Very well aware with these game concepts. Just be careful they don’t land you another narc that can manipulate you. They are very clever!
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 02:33 PM
2

Great to hear. Indifference can be magical indeed especially at building attraction. 26 years is a LONG time. Glad you were able to get out. How do you know she was a covert narc? What was the most narcissistic thing she would do? I’d imagine gaslighting you and never admitting she was wrong. Unfortunately I fit many characteristics of a narcissist myself. I can be extremely self absorbed. Rage issues. I can be draining of energy. I find a way to make everything about myself. I fucking split lik…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 02:22 PM
2

Thanks for the very detailed response. I would say 80 percent her fault, 20 percent me. BUT. If I don’t get a better handle on my own weaknesses and insecurities I won’t go very far with a healthy person. I chose her for a reason. My anger can be a problem especially while I’m in romantic relationships. It has always been my weakness. If I’m being truly honest with myself, I have lots of core trauma to work on. I’m on a self imposed timeout. No relationships period until my custody situation is …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 01:58 PM
78

Man I’m so sorry. I would have torched her ass in court. Stop being so nice bro and light her up!
/r/MensRights13/05/24 05:03 AM
3

Damn! She’s a crazy bitch. This happened to me as well. I was hit and beat by my mom and I have serious trauma now because of it. Save your child!
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 03:26 AM
2

Mine worked her entire life up until 2020. She’s gonna have to go back
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 12:43 AM
2

I pay a lot more. She doesn’t work so I have to pay for the house because I’m on the mortgage and the health insurance since I’m self employed. I make 200k plus. We have to do a forensic accounting on my business so that will take a while. Plus the custody issues. It’s going to take another year. But yeah my support to her is limited
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 12:07 AM
1

We are here because we are divorced. You aren’t divorced so please leave our group and go to the married group
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 10:55 PM
4

Well stupid people do stupid things. My ex could have walked away with 200k in her pocket. She’s dumb
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 08:50 PM
3

I had fake DV claims as well. I filed first and preempted her DV claims lol. Together for 11. Married for 8. I fucked her out of long term support in my state it’s a short term marriage and she only gets alimony for 3.5 years 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 She tried to sweet talk me too. But I held firm and am now a new man made of fucking iron! As for a broke single father the jokes on her. Yeah dating sucks but who cares a high conflict divorce will change you forever. Dating is hard for regular people without kids an…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 08:44 PM
2

Sometimes they lose their minds bro. And they Don’t reason. I left mine so she’s enraged lol. Too bad bitch. Should have listened to me while I was still the beta bux husband.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 08:30 PM
2

Fuck the money. Fight her ass hard. Don’t be soft. Let her know you’ll burn through it all.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 08:24 PM
2

Ouch man sorry. Go to church. Pray. Work out. Call friends. Family. You’ll get through this
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 08:02 PM
2

Take your time. You can stay single for 1 months, 12 months, 120 months. You can have a new cupcake whenever you want. My divorce is dragging on and is about to hit 100k in costs. No cupcakes for me for a long time plus I have two young boys so I’m not interested in the step mommy thing for them.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 07:48 PM
2

Glad it’s almost done. How you are feeling with post divorce life?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 06:12 PM
2

Im a bit wealthy. My net worth is 7 figure. It’s gonna cost me a bit to get out. BUT IM OUT
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 04:13 PM
1

Take a few months off dating. Let your emotional state heal. Reflect on the relationship and see what you did to contribute to it’s failure. Maybe it was just her she wanted something else. 2 years is not insignificant. Take your time right now you are vulnerable and are at risk of getting sucked into a very toxic rebound relationship
/r/seduction12/05/24 12:33 AM
3

Getting broken up with is painful. He probably misses her and his ego is wounded. He needs some time to heal
/r/seduction12/05/24 12:31 AM
1

This right here
/r/seduction12/05/24 12:30 AM
4

Why did you give her all this?
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 07:18 PM
4

I’ve been there. And sometimes I go back and forth as well. She was definitely more to blame with her drinking and LYING! But I had my share as well. I did damage to the relationship as well. In the end I left her but I did before she left me.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 12:25 AM
5

She sounds like a dream come true. Congrats on divorcing her wretched ass
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 02:48 PM
6

No singing contracts ever again! And definitely no moving in ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 07:28 AM
3

Glad she got nothing brother. How do you feel about relationships now after what you’ve been through?
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 06:45 AM
2

Sorry to hear about your pain. At least you feel it. I would laugh if I heard she had someone knew. That’s how disconnected I am from my feelings
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 02:22 AM
3

If you need a relationship to not feel lonely and miserable so be it. There’s nothing wrong with single parent households
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 05:01 PM
7

If you want kids you can hire a surrogate! Or adopt! No need to get married
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 11:21 AM
2

Deal with the raw emotions. Relationships are not for everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 11:20 AM
2

I don’t feel lonely ever. Thankfully I have lots of friends. Sounds like for men this is a big weakness as we need companionship more than women do.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 09:18 PM
2

She sounds terrible. Congrats on your new life
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 10:13 AM
3

Hold on a bit more. Enjoy the baby. 2 months is way too young
/r/MensRights06/05/24 02:49 AM
10

Just file and be done with it. Cry later
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 04:04 PM
1

Pushing 42 with two young boys. Game over for me romantically. I’m ok with it
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 10:56 AM
18

She’s gone bro. Out of your life. Heal and move on
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 12:53 AM
10

Time to get strong. Go to church. Read the bible and pray. Read stoicism. Build your ego. Reject her for rejecting you! Learn from your mistakes and become a better man Turn away from women for the next 12 months. Erase them from your mind. You will become more hard than a stone
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 10:33 PM
1

Minus the rotation
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 10:31 PM
2

I filed first. 8 years married 2 kids She’s a lying cheating drunk and a manipulative biatch I filed last summer My case is complex and will take years
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 09:42 AM
1

Sorry to hear this man. I’m so glad I have two boys. Good luck I hope you can heal
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 10:16 PM
5

Dissociative amnesia It’s a thing with personality disorders 🥳
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 02:05 PM
5

Incredibly I don’t remember any of the good times. Amnesia
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 09:56 AM
8

lol who cares. Let her celebrate all she wants. My ex will be celebrating too when our divorce is over. Whenever it is finally over. I will make it extremely difficult to end this divorce. And yes I’m willing to make us spend on lawyer fees.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 09:50 AM
1

Codependency is inherent in relationships
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 10:40 PM
4

It’s normal man. People that were married are in relationship mode. It’s what they are used to. Plus getting laid is a factor as people miss sex
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 09:00 PM
6

Hey brother. I know how hard it can be. Haven’t seen my kids since Friday and it hurts man. I miss them a lot. It’s 3am and I’m awake. My marriage fell apart last year. I filed last summer. It’s been a high conflict divorce. We are in a custody evaluation. As for being alone, I can understand that. Beyond a handful of first dates I have not seen anyone and actually refuse. I don’t care about being alone romantically. I have no use for a woman whatsoever. I guess it’s safe to say I’m done with th…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 10:13 AM
1

Thanks. My faith in Christ sustains me and keeps me going
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 09:32 PM
7

I will never ever stop fighting for my kids. Thankfully the financial resources are with me
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 03:11 PM
2

So I just moved out not too long ago. Through my attorneys we are trying to establish a 50-50 schedule. I have to be careful of course of a false DV claim. But if she makes the kids unavailable while I’m working there’s not much more I can do. I have a thousand text messages of me trying to establish the schedule and of her saying “no you are causing chaos” by me trying to exercise equal parenting time. She’s making herself look terrible in front of everyone. She will show up at the school on my…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 02:45 PM
3

There’s no orders on custody. Our case started red hot so the judge set us for the evaluation which took many months to get into action. It’s currently underway. The only power she has is soft power such as manipulating the kids. Also she doesn’t work while I run a company so it’s easy for her to pick up the kids while I’m making money to pay her bills But in the end she will lose and end up poor lol. Her problem
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 02:27 PM
1

Stay strong! You stand strong for those kids! Never let the evil win!
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 01:51 PM
4

She belongs to the street
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 04:12 AM
1

lol she can cling to whatever she wants. You got the kids bro you won. She can fuck off
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 05:27 PM
2

Wow she got nuked by the judge! Here in Cali that would be no consideration for the cheating at all. Good for you that’s a massive win. I hope you can discard her ass into nothing so you can move on
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 02:16 PM
4

Glad you were able to get the hell out of
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 09:11 AM
2

Looks like we change to. Just the nature of the beast. I never truly trusted mine even though I wanted to. In the end I always knew she couldn’t be trusted. Ce la vie. And now is the time for healing baby. No relationships. I acknowledge that I did really love this woman. I wanted to convince myself that I never really did but that would be a lie.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 09:08 AM
3

Hey brother no need to write “haha” be confident 💞
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 08:45 AM
1

Happens quite a bit
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 08:18 AM
2

Glad to hear you are doing well. I’m still too fucked to be banging women. I went on some dates and they all wanted a boyfriend not something I’m looking to be. Celibacy has kept me safe
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 10:23 AM
2

The past is the past. Going forward no kids!
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:21 AM
3

You are so young! Don’t ever date a single mom ever again
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:20 AM
6

Personally as their father I think I can do a much better job than some other woman who is not related to them and doesn’t really care for them. My mom is in the picture and she loves them to death. She’s in her younger 60s that’s enough for them.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:03 AM
10

I am far too wounded to let anyone in. Been separated for 10 months. I’ve been on a few dates. But im far too jaded to have any real intimacy. I have two young boys and we are in a custody battle right now. The last thing I need is a distraction. The longer I remain single the easier it is for me to stay away. It is my wish to remain without a relationship until my boys are grown. I don’t want to subject them to a step parent fuck that
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 12:00 AM
2

The Lord commands us to be merciful. His dictates supersede mine
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 06:31 PM
2

Yeah I’ve read it some is good. I just feed off my ego now and it’s great. Building an impenetrable wall around me is what I need. I suffered terrible abuse as a child. I made myself vulnerable enough to have a family and make some children. Now that’s done I can go back to standard operating procedure and take care of myself and my boys
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 03:14 PM
2

Unfortunately I can’t tolerate being disrespected. This is also a weakness of mine where my ego can hurt me. I was livid whenever she would make me look bad. That was her role, to honor me as her husband. She failed tremendously in that role. Better to be alone with my respect and dignity than to be with someone that would lower my class.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 02:44 PM
2

If they show repentness and remorse then we give mercy and grace no doubt. There I agree. But we must forgive ourselves. For the longest time during my marriage I was so hard on myself for choosing her. And then I forgave myself and moved on which allowed me to file the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 02:40 PM
1

Forgive yourself first. Then you can forgive them
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 03:09 AM
2

How can you still be married? Is this a loveless marriage??
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 02:21 AM
-3

Why do you hate them? Maybe it’s anger at yourself for giving them love?
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 02:20 AM
8

Stay the hell away
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 12:46 AM
0

Maybe it’s not necessary to find someone new. Relationships are hard work
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 07:15 AM
2

*DATING* Men must heal from divorce. It’s different for everyone. If you don’t want to risk making the same mistakes then it’s very important to take the time to heal. But if there are kids involved SLOW IT DOWN.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 04:16 AM
1

Your step son did the job.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 10:56 AM
1

Bingo. These disordered people are wreaking havoc on our lives
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 10:12 AM
2

Im staying very social. Thank God I have many friends who validate me. Unfortunately I have a very abusive mom who continues to cause me damage. I rely on her a lot for help with the kids but maybe it’s time I re evaluate her help considering the heavy price it comes with
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 12:49 AM
3

I filed. I was forced to due to drinking and lying.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 10:40 PM
2

I sent you a pm
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 09:19 PM
3

I’ve been sharing my story since day one. I have lots of friends and openly talk about my case. I have a bigger support network then she is. I’m also a pathological attention whore. I NEED validation.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 09:18 PM
1

Thanks I appreciate it. Doing my best to be a good person and to heal these wounds. I thought they were addressed but apparently not. It’s going to take deep work to fix it. But I’m ready to give myself the chance to be a healthy and happy person
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 07:26 PM
1

Yes I’m aware. I have a therapist but I can’t tell him everything he will get subpoenaed. I need to find a secret one that no one knows about
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 05:24 PM
2

I know. The trauma is deep. And it distorts reality. It’s pretty bad
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 04:42 PM
2

It’s much easier when you are messed up like me. You see people as objects. In trying to FIX THAT
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 04:00 PM
0

I’m entitled
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 02:52 PM
1

Correct. 10 months is a long time with no play😅. Getting a bit restless here. I’d live to find me some younger ones for play time mid 20s but those require spending money or being very attractive and I have neither. So monk mode it is
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 02:35 PM
2

Custody battle for two boys. Under age 7. No one is meeting my boys. They are healing f from the divorce ain’t going to be no step mommy Trust me my broken ass NEEDs monk mode 😂
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 02:02 PM
2

This community is a blessing. So many men have poured out love and care on you I hope it has helped you. You will survive man. My story is a little different. I filed due to her drinking and lies. And cheating. But my story goes deeper. I suffer from NPD. Look it up. It appears that I suffered serious psychological trauma from a young age. This trauma has caused me an inability to form true and deep bonds with people, especially women. I would never ever in a million years believe that a woman c…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 12:39 PM
2

My attorney fees are 43k and rising lol
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 11:23 AM
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