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LuvDonkeeButts Archive

View 40 posts and 184 comments by LuvDonkeeButts on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
88

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 04:11 AM
73

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 02:09 AM
69

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 04:10 AM
64

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 02:34 AM
64

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 05:01 PM
60

Dating After DivorceLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 03:17 AM
60

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 05:18 PM
57

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 05:33 PM
57

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 11:54 AM
56

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 06:14 AM
43

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 02:34 AM
39

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 08:13 PM
34

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 07:05 PM
33

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 02:50 AM
32

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 05:00 PM
26

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 10:14 PM
26

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 07:26 PM
25

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 01:43 AM
24

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:26 PM
23

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 02:28 PM
23

CourtLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 01:30 AM
20

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 03:07 AM
20

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 04:21 AM
19

Dating After DivorceLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 11:11 PM
18

Dating After DivorceLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 03:23 AM
15

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 06:43 PM
15

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 08:49 PM
14

Dating After DivorceLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 03:18 PM
13

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 03:33 PM
11

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 12:49 PM
10

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 02:45 PM
9

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 06:06 PM
7

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 06:05 PM
7

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 06:43 PM
6

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 10:03 PM
6

Dating After DivorceLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 03:41 AM
5

Need SupportLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 06:55 PM
3

CustodyLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 02:36 PM
3

RantLuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 03:01 AM
0

LuvDonkeeButts/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 09:36 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

I mean I get it, but there was 0 desire for me to get divorced, I don’t want to lie to my kids face to say that I wanted this because I absolutely did not
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 12:00 PM
4

I’m sure she either has BPD or on narcissistic spectrum. Seemed to get worse after children.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 10:25 PM
1

She will be collecting 2250$ per month on the investment property
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 09:07 AM
3

Interesting, well with her new investment property that would exceed 250k…I may talk to my lawyer sooner rather than later
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 11:16 PM
2

It’s an extremely long story.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:26 AM
2

She should disclose it on this years tax returns. But maybe she won’t. I don’t think there’s anything in our agreement saying that if there’s a 10% change that we agree to alter it. Just that a change is warranted, I still have to go through the court to get it changed
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 03:25 AM
2

I live in Colorado, I’m not sure what you mean by it’s done by statute up to 250k?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 12:27 AM
3

I live in Colorado. That’s an interesting idea
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 12:25 AM
3

I tried doing it myself last year and she enlisted a lawyer and was ready to play hardball right out of the gate, apparently there’s no reasoning with her at all.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 07:00 PM
4

My exact thought
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 07:37 PM
1

None of the above.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 02:44 AM
0

Vacations are happening at the same time, she’s done this trip before when we are married. She’s no longer invited, lost the rights to be a part of that.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 05:42 PM
11

The problem with that is I feel like I’m kind of at my limit. I’m already in pretty great shape, I make 100k+ a year, I own a home. Etc. to push further seems out of reach for me. So it’s kind of like, what more can I do? When I was younger I felt like I had larger upside, now I have 2 kids who are 4 and 7. I’m committed to being amazing to them primarily
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 12:57 PM
10

I assure you we aren’t friends at all.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 12:55 PM
1

2-3 years is an absolute atomic bomb to recover from. 10 years later, I’d be 48, my kids would be teenagers, I can’t wait that long to feel like I can live my life comfortably again
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 06:22 PM
1

Been in therapy for 2 years, actually maybe more than that. 2.5-3 years
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 06:21 PM
3

2 years though….i mean it’s really difficult
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:26 AM
3

First of all regarding porn, as a man the only reason for me to watch porn is if my partner is unavailable or uninterested in sex. In my 20s and early 30s my sex drive was high and I wanted sex most everyday. Now I’m close to 40 and I still want it multiple times a week. But my ex and multiple women I’ve been with have treated my drive as an inconvenience or an annoyance. So porn has been at least a safe substitute that doesn’t involve me do anything I would regret with another person. So when a…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 01:42 PM
3

What do you mean? Like she stayed at home and didn’t take being a mom seriously? Mine stayed at home all but 1 day a week and is an excellent mom, but she became resentful of me for reasons that I still don’t understand and the marriage disintegrated because of it. I wonder if I’ll ever truly understand what happened tbh
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 09:11 PM
7

This is how I felt as well. My ex wife always complained that I didn’t “do” enough. And that I will vehemently deny. I was an excellent partner, I worked a full time job to support the house, took care of the kids, split bedtime, bathtime, took them to the park, planned fun activities for them, I contributed to the household chores as much as I could, cleaned obsessively because she made a huge deal about that, and rarely took any time for myself. At the end of the day I was so burned out by all…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 09:09 PM
4

I’m convinced that my ex has some BPD traits, and I think social media turned those more in the narcissistic direction too…something just isn’t right about her
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 08:56 PM
7

Mine and I were together 5 years before marriage and 8 years before kids. Then all of the sudden after kid one, something was just never the same 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 08:55 PM
2

But this sounds crazy to me, why procreate with someone who you genuinely don’t want a life with. I don’t want to get a woman pregnant if I’m not planning on keeping her around
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 08:52 PM
6

Dude I already pay half of all the doctor visits, preschool, insurance. Then 900$ on top of that. Plus providing everything for my household and appropriate childcare for when I work.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 09:07 PM
0

I mean that’s what I think, I’m all for supporting my kids. But I will provide everything in my own home, and I can’t imagine expenses for a child being more than maybe 300$ a month. Some people have child support in the thousands of dollars, like wth?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 02:55 PM
2

lol
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 03:26 AM
7

Well she tried to go after every penny she could. Like what the eff, she makes 95k as a nurse. Why does she need my money for anything ?
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 04:52 AM
4

Really? I think that’s a pretty blanket point of view. I would say parts of me are happier now, but I regret it happening. I don’t think that it’s even possible to make the claim that all people are happier post divorce
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 04:49 AM
2

What do you mean whatever number I think it is? Like whatever number of women I think regret it? I think out of 10 women I would guess maybe 3 of the 10 would at some point regret it. Especially under what things women leave for nowadays
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 04:46 AM
6

Working on it. I’m overall pretty happy with my situation, I do want to have a quality woman in my life though.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 04:11 PM
4

My wife didn’t get alimony either, I still pay her 800$ in child support a month which I can’t stand.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 04:09 PM
2

Well the meaning of my life was to serve my family and build a strong and successful family. Which has now been destroyed and is borderline never repairable. So yeah, I guess I am now trying to rediscover what it means to be me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 04:43 PM
6

More than anything I miss having a family unit. I miss having a house filled with my 2 kids and wife. Now it seems like my kids will only be there maximum 50%, and that is something that isn’t temporary (this is the hardest thing for me). My wife became highly critical, would cut me down, breed doubt into my mind about my abilities and attack my masculinity. The only reason I was able to mentally allow it was because she was able to do things with the babies that I couldn’t. This allowed me to b…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 11:44 PM
2

What is missing? I’m like completely obsessed with not being a failure. And also, for the first time in my life, I want to appear successful. I want to prove to my haters that I’m not a failure. That’s something I never cared about before.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 10:40 PM
3

I know what you mean. The girl I’m dating is from Brazil. American women are like in a very weird state right now, I’m confused when that will correct itself.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 10:38 PM
3

I’m just playing devils advocate here. What does work on yourself mean? I have a 6 figure job I have my kids 50/50 I am in shape and workout 3-5 times a week I am in a class trying to work on learning something new. What else do I need to do?
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 10:37 PM
5

How old are your kids? Mine are 4 and 6. I’m so bummed for them, they didn’t deserve this dog shit situation
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/24 07:36 PM
1

Lol
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 10:46 AM
3

Yeah she seems like a train wreck. That’s a pretty extreme case and a slam dunk for divorce. My wife basically gaslighted me to hell and discarded me after making me believe I was no good after 5 years
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 11:49 PM
1

You have to report it each year. Exchange your tax reports with eachother and use it to modify support
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 01:38 PM
2

I was going to say, if I hate her and spend all my energy on that, she still has a degree of power over me
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 01:36 PM
1

I agree with all you said, but I don’t feel happier or healthier. My mind plays tricks on me. Like I think I should have done more or different things. Then I snap out of it and I’m like, I did the very best with what I thought mattered and what she told me mattered. I wish I could have been enough. I’m just dumbfounded how badly it went afterwards. Can’t really even contemplate what happened with her. It sucks beyond belief. And I don’t know what I was supposed to do
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 03:19 PM
14

This was us, she was never the same post kids. Wanted me to be absolutely Superman. Nothing I did was good enough, and she couldn’t appreciate anything I brought to the marriage
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 02:48 AM
1

Agree with most everything. But I wouldn’t have to pay child support for a child that isn’t biologically mine.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 01:31 PM
3

Because I had a bad experience with divorce but don’t want to be so jaded by that experience to not believe that good things are still possible. Like at some point you gotta move on from that anger, resentment or whatever.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 02:25 PM
2

Haha I mean, I have had success in the past 2 years. I’ve been on probably 20 dates and had a pretty good amount of sex. Sure I’m not going to be killing it like some others, but yeah, getting off them completely would be foolish. I just should not use it as my main avenue of meeting women. Being 5’5 is an obstacle, but I can overcome that by being remarkable in other ways.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 02:19 PM
0

Fair enough but if a woman is dating in her 40s how picky can she be?
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:43 AM
4

I’m not religious, but unsure of where to meet quality women if not on apps.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:42 AM
2

If I had a quarter mil income that would drastically improve my life. As would being 5’10. Anytime someone says “meh just forget about dating anyone, women aren’t that great” like I get it. Love is hard, relationships are hard. But if you find the right one it can be a total powerhouse. I just don’t want to marry a woman who’s going to go insane again 😐
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:40 AM
1

Well I mean I haven’t even had the opportunity. It’s not like I had women lined up but my schedule was too busy lol. I had a few here and there that looked like they wanted to meet, but then ghosted, unmatched or otherwise
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:06 AM
1

I play soccer, I enjoy watching football, camping and hiking. Gym. Trying to get into paddle boarding, or kayaking. And a distance dream would be able to woodwork; or blow glass.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:01 AM
2

When I’m given the chance, I feel like I am very charismatic, charming, and confident. However it seems after about 3 to 8 dates, the women become bored, or like they don’t want to continue to see me. I can usually get them into bed one to two times and then they are kind of over it. I like sex and all, but I’m really looking for a genuine and supportive woman.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 12:25 AM
1

I mean that sounds great, I just don’t exactly know what I’m supposed to be doing at this point. I’m kind of trying hard in all areas of life
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 12:03 AM
3

Sorry to hear that man. Wish I could help.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 11:56 PM
2

Divorce is final, kids are 4 and 6. It’s been about 6 weeks since I’ve been on a date with being pretty aggressive on dating apps
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 11:55 PM
1

lol I’ll keep that in mind
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 01:44 PM
1

Okay but how? I’m already in the gym 3-5 times a week, I play soccer 2x a week. I make a 6 figure income. I own a home. What else do I need to do? I guess make more friends? 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 07:15 PM
3

Um im not about to hire and escort and get caught by the police and have my entire reputation ruined again after my already horrendous divorce…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 07:14 PM
3

I already am at the gym multiple times a week, play soccer on Sunday and Wednesday. And have my kids 50% of the time. Why couldn’t I also enjoy a relationship? What everyone says is “better yourself”, I kinda feel like I’m at the upper end of my limit already 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 07:12 PM
2

Being alone is not my strong suit. Not going to lie
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 01:38 PM
2

I’ll go through dry spells. This is one of those times. Or there’s like quite a few options. It seems like good things fizzle out, or promising options come with some other string attached
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 01:36 PM
4

Working on that. But honestly I don’t have much going on outside of work and kids
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 01:33 PM
2

Well I don’t currently hate my wife enough for that to be motivational. I just don’t want to give her money every month. For those people who say it’s for the kids. I would much rather cut my kids school a check or something else than give it to my ex
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 06:54 PM
2

Ummm definitely not. I make maybe 2k more than her a month
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 12:38 PM
2

I make more money than my ex spouse, so there’s some calculation based on both our salaries and time with the kids to determine child support
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 04:18 PM
1

We split custody of the kid. So I pay for half of all the expenses, pay her child support, pay for my Own childcare needs etc.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 03:21 PM
1

It was imputed at full time, but she still works part time
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 12:29 AM
5

I wrote it in the comments that I have them 6/14 days. Just under 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 07:52 PM
0

My lawyer was in charge of all the calculations. I do have a little more information in terms of work related childcare. She also covers health insurance…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 06:20 PM
5

How? Either you make some completely insane amount of money, or she has full custody?
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 05:27 PM
-1

A little wiggle room there, I could get maybe 1 more day and it would be true 50/50…but hard to do with my current schedule. It sucks, if I had a supportive partner to help with the kids, that would be a game changer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 05:27 PM
4

Wait, your ex makes 300k a year? And you have to pay her? The hell?
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 05:25 PM
3

I’ve heard of some people paying double that or more…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 05:23 PM
2

Colorado
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 04:25 PM
1

It’s about a 20-25k gap, and just under 50/50 custody, 6/14 days .
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 04:04 PM
1

I make about 20-25k more than her. So I wouldn’t say it’s insanely substantial It’s not quite 50/50, I have them 6/14 days currently. Only because my work schedule is very erratic.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 04:02 PM
12

1)her becoming extremely offended at any correction or direction that I attempted to give her. 2) her being emotional unavailable and keeping me at an arms length 3) manipulating conversations to take the focus off of her. (She was an absolute pro at this) 4) her having no close friends and no life outside of me.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 03:45 AM
4

Yeah if I had one? ☹️☹️
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 06:25 PM
2

As far as the money her taking from me in child support. It would certainly make saving for college, supporting my children and my lifestyle easier. I would be less stressed. I wouldn’t have to budget down to the penny. It’s tough not going to lie
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 11:11 PM
9

I dunno, I mean she’s most likely already in a relationship…collects 1,000$ from me a month for doing absolutely nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 08:24 PM
8

Well I’m 18 months into it. My family still talks to her. They made it clear that she was “divorcing me not them” how shitty does that sound and feel.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 07:51 PM
9

At the end she was out of control. She complained about me disappearing for 20 minutes to go shower. She complained that she had to take our daughter to the doctor even though I was sick myself. She’d often make mistakes and I’d ask her to change and she would refuse, or spin it around to make it seem like I was just asking too much. I don’t know what happened to her, but holy hell she was out of control.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 06:50 PM
1

So how am I supposed to double my current income from about 120k to 240k?
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 10:35 PM
0

I already go to the gym probably 3-4 times a week, I’m in testosterone replacement for low T. Take up running, I mean sure, I guess I could do more cardiovascular exercise. As I said in my post I’m already in pretty good shape, there’s always maybe some room for improvement. Part of the post was that I feel like I’m already at my limit in terms of salary, fitness, attractiveness. So when people say : work on yourself, I’m like okay…where/how?
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 02:47 PM
1

Sounds dumb, but I’m not sure what my goals are. The level I’m currently at seems to be my limit in terms of fitness, career etc. I know that sounds dumb. But honestly I don’t know where to go to get any more attractive, get any more rich ,
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 02:41 PM
2

I’ve read no more Mr nice guy twice, and I’ve read something like “when I say no I feel guilty”, I’ll check this out.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 02:40 PM
1

This is the first time a woman has tried to friend zone me. I mean, it seems odd, but I just don’t really have time for super active friendships anyway. Is that a weird thing to say? I feel like it should be easier, but honestly I don’t feel like I should try anymore, but I still want to 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 02:39 PM
1

lol I mean yeah while married we had more income coming in. We had sex about 2-4 times a month. Much less for both now
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 01:42 PM
0

Companionship, better financially with 2 incomes, sex, to name a few
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 04:14 AM
6

I lifted weights my entire marriage. I recently got on TRT and it’s been life changing. My body finally shows a bit of effort that I put into it
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 03:32 AM
1

Also I mean this was all done through lawyers last year, so I don’t doubt it was correct at the time, but now I’ve got a better idea of what work related childcare is, and about a 9,000$ reduction in my salary as well has come to pass.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 05:50 PM
1

I mean yeah right now she makes (at full time) 84k, and I make between 110-120. (Last year Closer to 110). She does pay health insurance and we have two minor children…I’ll run the calculator if I have a chance, I wish it was more cut and dry than it is
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 05:42 PM
0

She only works part time, she makes about 2/3 of what I make at a full time rate. But my pay is falling and she gets regular pay raises. I also think it’s kind of bullshit she can work part time and just collect CS.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 05:15 PM
2

They aren’t old they are very young, which is why I don’t want to be afraid to alter it just because it’s a pain to do so
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 05:10 PM
1

Horrible, I am sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 05:08 PM
1

Not quite 10%, maybe like 8%. But also my work related childcare is going to be more which under Colorado guidelines is also used to modify support
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 04:15 PM
2

I mean dating apps make it at least accessible from anywhere. It’s not easy and I would say I’m a fairly average guy. But yes, throughout my divorce for 18 months I’ve seen 4 women regularly and had sex with 3 of them. Wasn’t great sex, because of the emotional turmoil of the divorce. I may be able to get some chicks into bed; but the furfilling partnership, sex life, snd family life I want still alludes me. I’m terrified of dying alone
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 02:10 AM
1

What needs to happen in order for me to be ready? I don’t have any time to “re-explore” who I am. I have my kids every other weekend and the other weekends I take call for my job
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 07:09 AM
3

Already read it twice.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 03:05 AM
4

I’m right there with you. 7 months post divorce and my life is a complete mess. I have nothing to look forward to. I thought honestly I would be in a better spot by now. No I question if I’ll ever be happy again.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 02:52 AM
1

Well I’m not sure, all I know is that my wife filed for divorce. My job of 10 years tried to push me out last year. Having trouble getting along with my mom, family, and my co workers now. It seems like it’s been one thing after another
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 08:15 PM
1

I’m kinda confused by this. How long did you guys work on it together? Did you do therapy? She didn’t want to have sex to have a child? As a man who was completely destroyed by my divorce. I can’t imagine what circumstances would have to take place for me to pull the trigger on that. I guess if she gained 100 lbs and refused to work? Or was addicted to drugs alcohol? I was with my partner for 13 years and married for 7.5. I don’t know what advice to give as I’m still healing after this bomb was …
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 08:23 PM
3

In what way? I work a full time job, I own a house, I workout and am active. What else do I have to do other than attend therapy?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 09:35 PM
3

How did that come about though?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:31 PM
1

How long were you apart ?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:31 PM
2

Working on the mental health….ive been in the pits of despair for what seems like forever. Been in therapy on and off for a year. Im now on a medication…but my god this is so hard and improvement is SO slow
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:30 PM
5

I’m just being honest, how could that be? She forcibly divorced me for 36k, now I’m on child support for 16 years. She’s running around with some other dude. Now I’m struggling on dating apps, How is this favorable to me?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:29 PM
4

I mean it’s your ex wife, definitely weird to see her anywhere IMO…my wife left me for some dude and I have no clue where he came from. I don’t anticipate that working out for the better, but I also do not want to see her on any apps. I’ve been divorced since Nov. 2023
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 08:56 PM
3

I actually made a post about this exact thing. I used to have dreams every night. Sometimes it was about us talking about the issues and her considering coming back, other times it was us being together. My waking hours I still remember the good times. I have mostly good memories. Yes there were times of frustration, sometimes to a large degree. But overall, I don’t believe my marriage was “irretrievably broken” I don’t have an answer for you tbh. However long it takes. To some degree I expect t…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/24 06:41 PM
12

I totally feel you. I can’t stand going to events and feeling that I’m now this weirdo. I remember when I was growing up and seeing a divorced family; and thinking wow, that must be the worst thing ever. And I still believe that. Now it’s my life
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/24 09:01 PM
3

I could have wrote this. Sucks man. I have flaws, but doesn’t mean we couldn’t have fixed our marriage or our family. Heart broken 💔
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 11:39 PM
2

That ship has sailed, been divorced since November 2023
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 10:53 PM
1

100% this. What is making this man miserable? Take some accountability for your own mental health and get some therapy, medication or other self care. Live a life that is filled more furfilling activities. Don’t let your marriage or your wife determine your happiness, if you do we are not better than all the women who divorce who “aren’t happy” or “have outgrown my partner”
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 10:25 PM
3

I dunno man, I’m about a year post petition and 6 months post divorce. My life now is not better. It’s riddled with financial strain, 1000$ in CS each month for 16 years. I’ve dated a few women, they were okay, they were fun. But I crave the stability and the growth of my marriage. My wife didn’t treat me well and was unhappy. But I was happy just knowing that this part of my life was settled. Now I’m back into dating which has never been an easy place for me
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 05:11 PM
6

sure so let’s go through these. Finances on lockdown? Yes, I made 80% of the money in the marriage, I did a monthly budget and a quarterly financial review of our investments, I gave us each our own personal accounts to spend on ourselves and the rest used for the family. (she resented this as she wasn’t able to whatever she wanted with the marital money for the family). Dad bod? No, I weight train 3-4 times a week, and play soccer. Was I the man other women wanted and men wanted to be? I mean, …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 02:06 PM
4

Already read it twice
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 01:14 PM
9

I’m a year after she petitioned. I’m not sure if I want her to come back or if I want her to stay away… Your ex was probably pursuing something or more likely someone which didn’t pan out. Now instead of starting from scratch, she probably is trying to come back to a soft landing space is my guess.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 02:26 AM
3

I sent them an email a month after she petitioned for divorce telling them that there was no point in changing her mind despite continually voicing to her that I wanted to work it out. Her dad has sent me a couple text messages. Her brother has not spoken 1 word to me since
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 02:24 AM
1

Right so what’s the point of being married then?
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 02:44 PM
3

Right, and she never blamed the small kids for making a mess. It was me accidentally / infrequently who left my cereal bowl out. 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 12:33 AM
3

My wife and I were together 13 years but only married for 7.5. It sounds really terrible to say. But it was like she was on her best behavior until kids came, and then all of the sudden, when kids came she just became and absolute monster and felt like she could do or treat me however she wanted. I feel so dumb about it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 12:32 AM
2

My social media is full of red pill crap now. I don’t want to hate women, or generalize the shit out of them
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 10:52 PM
11

Divorcing without kids is one thing. Still basically makes your vows mean nothing… But blowing up your whole family at the potential expense of the children? That seems crazy, once kids were born I didn’t think there was anyway out, and I didn’t want to get out anyway. When I married her, I never DREAMED she would do this ever.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 04:08 PM
1

Getting tested again for it
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 03:29 AM
1

Why would porn be the problem if it never has been before?
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 03:28 AM
2

No meds at all
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 03:24 AM
-1

I mean I’ve always had a routine porn use of around 1-2 times a day for about 15-20 mins each. Even while married and never affected my performance.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 09:12 PM
2

I have absolutely no idea what this means. I’ll google it
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 06:18 PM
1

Hydration is controllable. I feel like I sleep a ton. Probably go to bed around 10-1030, sleep on my days off til 7. Workdays sleep til 6am…don’t know how to improve that
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 06:18 PM
5

I’m not limiting myself to them. Just happens to be what I’ve been getting in year 1 post divorce
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:48 PM
1

I lift probably about 2-3x a week, and about 20 mins of cardio beforehand. Obviously could up that, but I don’t think it’s terrible. Diet is probably the bigger issue between the 2
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 05:47 PM
1

They can’t help breaking that bond with a person who betrayed me and my family? I don’t get it, her family doesn’t talk to me at all
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:42 PM
1

Somehow I feel like I’m worth nothing unless women, Particularly potential sexual partners are interested in talking to me…then I’m totally cool and confident. Without it, I’m depressed and feel like a POS
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:40 PM
1

I don’t know what that means exactly. I should date people I’m not too crazy about? Ironically, my ex wife pressured me to get married, said she wanted 4 kids. And then we made it through 2 and filed for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:37 PM
1

I’m familiar with it: but as far as it controlling me less. I don’t even know where to start
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:35 PM
1

I mean, not outwardly so. I feel like there was a ton of gaslighting. Inserting doubt into my brain whether my concerns were valid or not. Being punished for feeling any negative feelings. I was made to feel bad for struggling with developing an autoimmune condition. As far as screaming, yelling or insults. Nothing like that occurred. Maybe more like neglect and gaslighting. Oh and I was frequently told “you must be on antidepressants for my own benefit, because I don’t want you to be sad, becau…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 05:32 PM
3

Already read NMMNG twice unfortunately
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 10:58 PM
1

I’ve been there my friend. You’re about 10 months behind me. Reality will soon settle in. Just remember that the more at war you are with reality. The more depressed you will be. Feel your feelings during this time. Do not distract yourself, it will only slow down your healing.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 03:21 AM
3

That sounds like an absolute psychotic break. Thank the lord mine isn’t that bad
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 06:29 PM
2

I mean I seriously cannot believe that someone would choose money over a family. I will tell you this, if someone told me “hey you get 18 years of 3000$ a month but you have to raise 3 kids by yourself and go back into the dating pool” I would be like fuck that. I make plenty of money; and would rather have a happy family and see my kids everyday
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 05:05 AM
5

Were kids involved? I didn’t think splitting was an option after they came into the picture. She was so toxic though, that thought did enter my mind
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 10:52 PM
7

Well after kids were born it was painfully evident that my needs no longer mattered. I was ashamed if I asked her for anything. With that said I didn’t have to ask for much, my needs are pretty simple. But anytime I needed something it was “how dare you ask me for anything” And honestly it didn’t bother me that much. But it did bother me that she insinuated that I was useless to our family. That is the biggest crock of shit
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 09:46 PM
3

Divorce was final in November. But it was over in March of last year. Nearly a year. I do feel better but still is the worst thing I’ve ever been through
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 09:30 PM
3

I feel like I have to actively stop myself from talking about it ALL THE TIME to my loved ones. they must be sick of it
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 09:28 PM
6

I’ve read this a few times, how is it she is able to jump right from an 8 year marriage right into another relationship and not have it affect her?Whereas I have to wait 1-2 years before dating. I didn’t heed this advice and did have an odd situationship develop out of that. I don’t know what to say; I would love for that relationship she developed to crash and burn. I didn’t deserve this shit, and my 2 kids for sure didn’t either.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 07:37 PM
5

I made the mistake of thinking she was still in there. I think I should have been more angry and less flexible during divorce. I believed she was reasonable enough to make this not messy. And I was dead wrong about that
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 07:35 PM
3

Yeah I’ve ready no more Mr. Nice guy twice. I get the premise behind it. It’s all kind of in the rear view mirror now. Could I have set better boundaries? Probably. Did i accept unacceptable behavior from my wife? Most definitely. Not sure what to do about that now though
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 07:28 PM
3

Doing everything for someone who appreciated none of it. Wow, that’s like exactly what I felt like
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 04:08 AM
3

That would absolutely drive me crazy to have another man living in my house 🤢
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:09 AM
5

I think marriage in this day and age is ridiculous. Why would I risk half my money, my house, custody of my kids if my wife is going to file for divorce for being tired? I’m very sorry this happened to you. I don’t wish divorce on my worst enemy. I think it’s as horrible as it gets, and if you are going to put someone else through this, you sure as shit better have some deal breaking, irreconcilable differences. Stay strong. Here if you need support
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:34 PM
5

She wanted to divorce because she was tired…? Whatever happened to being together no matter what?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:08 PM
6

lol what? How could this even happen? My ex wife and I didn’t go near eachother. I attempted to reconcile with her several times, she had already moved on with her AP
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:59 PM
2

I’d like to believe that. But somehow I wonder if this is going to workout for the better for her. This is like my biggest fear
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 04:47 PM
2

How do you cope with that? It sounds like something that would happen in a bad romantic comedy. If my ex got engaged to another person, let’s say this year. I would be like WOW that is a terrible choice. And pregnant with another baby that would be even worse
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 03:07 AM
2

Woah she got married again 3 months post divorce and is having a baby ? Her family must think she’s a lunatic. If my ex did that I would think that she truly lost her mind. I’m prepared for whatever though, I don’t know what happened to her brain but yikes.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 10:45 PM
2

That’s like way easier said than done. I’ve worked for women’s approval my whole life
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 09:21 PM
2

Multiple times?? That is crazy. When did she leave and how long until she came back and realized this was wrong for her? Yes it’s like that woman I knew is dead
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 04:51 PM
2

This place meaning Reddit?
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 05:16 AM
3

I will tell you this, over the course of the last year I had moments where I felt good. Then out of no where so much depression I had to seek meds. Then I would feel good again, motivated, optimistic. Then bad again. I’ve had to tell my kids who are very young, and I didn’t know what to say about it. I miss them a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 04:49 AM
2

So did she come back after a time?
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 03:45 AM
0

No it’s just talk to text.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 03:30 AM
1

Not really, I dont necessarily think it’s probable that she will come back. But it blows my mind that she actually made this decision
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:58 PM
3

That’s the thing that surprises me most, that she actually gave up her own children 50% of the time to get away from a man who did anything and everything for her. Like, the fuck?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:11 PM
1

How long has it been since you’ve been apart?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:06 PM
0

She may have had borderline before kids, but it seemed to rev it up to insane levels. I am 100% certain this is what happened. But my question is, does it get better with time? Is she going to realize this mistake several years later? Is she going to be this way with some new man?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 10:16 PM
5

Although gender roles aren’t perfect, they do help compartmentalize work tasks in a family environment. In 2023, nobody knows what the fuck their job is.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 02:31 PM
2

But like I was the ATM, landscaper, and mechanic. And the good dad, the occasional cook. Soooo I furfilled my jobs enough and probably more. Still got thrown out like garbage
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 02:28 PM
9

She filed for divorce last March. Divorce is final . But I gave everything I had to the marriage for her and my 2 children and she still threw it away like garbage
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 01:14 PM
8

Devalue discard sounds familiar.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 01:12 PM
14

That’s all we talked about in therapy. Was who did what. Score kept what chores people did. Instead of actually wanting to come to the marriage from a vulnerable point. This is what she brought up over and over again
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 01:11 PM
2

I mean this is something she taught me. You teach people how to treat you. I was super nice to her, and if I ever had the slightest disagreement with her, or had to correct her behavior she would make up 10,000 excuses or something else to justify her bad behavior
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 01:09 PM
2

Don’t really understand this mindset..
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 06:11 PM
2

So she’s on her third marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 04:05 PM
2

Holy shit really, that’s crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 03:57 PM
2

Not quite 50/50, but almost. Due to busy on call work schedule
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 08:10 PM
3

Papers have been signed.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 07:46 PM
5

Welp, average marriage is 7 years. Time will tell then. I’m not perfect, but checked all the boxes that I thought she wanted. Kids ✅, house ✅, makes six figures ✅.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 04:03 PM
3

I get it, but we do have two kids together. My dream was always to have a happy family.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 02:06 PM
13

I dunno man, I don’t think I would advise anyone to get a divorce. It’s hands down the worst shit I’ve ever been through, and goes on forever.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 04:57 AM
9

Well we were together 13 years, married for 7.5. Cant just turn that off right away. Especially after being betrayed
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 04:56 AM
5

That is wild… I don’t know what our marriage was lacking , and don’t know what it he could offer her
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 04:50 AM
2

Currently I have them 5/14. But I also make more money than her
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 06:04 AM
4

Lol
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 11:41 PM
7

What? You expect me to hide assets? Take a sabbatical and not pay my mortgage or put food on the table for my 2 kids? Move to another state to avoid child support? This sounds like absolute insanity. You are right totally my fault. 😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 11:26 PM
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