18 months since she petitioned.

Delta_Knight_001 · 2024-07-30T16:02:51+00:00

You are not ready for another relationship yet. And women can smell the desperation from afar. Women don’t want to complete you. They want to be part of an already complete man. Everything you mentioned about being in good shape, etc is just furniture. They don’t make you who you truly are.

Once again, forget all the things women say. They don’t want to complete you, they want to be part of a complete man. It is when you don’t need them that they want you. You are the one who will complete a woman.

Double-Membership-31 · 2024-07-30T02:49:12+00:00

It's so interesting that I never married my ex gf and I'm passing exactly the same stuff that you guys divorced folks. Before I had this ideal relationship with a woman, I use to date easily, now I try and try but women insist to friend zone me, it doesn't make sense I'm considerably more achieved and somehow wealthier, at least than them, I have a PhD now. I have a job, I'm in better shape than before, but still.

It has been 5 years since my break and I still couldn't find to figure it out, I only had one short lived relationship in this 5 years and she never considered me a bf more like a friend with rights. I don't know what changed me, what happened to me. Everyone told me time will fix it but it didn't. She married but I'm constantly alone

I can not offer you an explanation but I share your Paine. A friend of mine with 5 years relationship is also passing through this paradox

I suspect we lost confidence. We think they are outhere still waiting for us, we got used to that and internally we keep loyal to them because they messed up our brains during coitus. Hence we don't see other women the same way, and the sense it and reject us

Ok-Cucumber-6976 · 2024-08-10T13:46:39+00:00

Just sleep with other women. Don't build a relationship. You don't need it. Go to bars, gyms, theaters and museums. Just get yourself cleaned up. Change your image and try to do things that you haven't done before.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2024-07-29T18:33:33+00:00

I had the most “luck” with this type of scenario when I wasn’t looking for it.

For example, I was gonna have my Boats ‘n Hoes 2024 this summer. I was hitting the online thing, hitting on girls organically, even found some at work.

My own detachment from these girls, meaning, ALL I was going to do was get them on my boat and in their bikini’s and the rest would follow.

I had ZERO interest in a relationship. Then on my third “Ho”, lo and behold, did she stop me cold on my tracks. She’s my girlfriend now, shags like a minx and is a tall stunner that I can’t wait to show off in my Lambo, like ALL THE TIME. She’s calm (calm is HUGE) and elegant.

Yeah, I can complain about a physical attribute here and there with her, but it’s her personality and way of being that attracts me. She “looks” like she’s got staying power. We’ll see.

I was getting more girls than I knew what to do with. I think it had to do with my “if not you, then how about your friend” type of attitude that attracts them.

Work on having an aloof interest in them.

Not that this didn’t suck for a month or so, but I was NEVER home brooding over my situation. Get out, say yes to anything new and not too dangerous, be INTERESTING.

Exactly65536 · 2024-07-29T15:15:12+00:00

It's hard because you think it's necessary (which it isn't).

All you need is happiness on your own. It has a cumulative effect of making you more relaxed and thus more attractive, which allows better selection, and reducing your need, which allows slower, more considerate choice out of this selection.

Bermnerfs · 2024-07-29T12:45:13+00:00

I suggest reading or listening to "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Really listen to what he says, learn to control your thoughts, learn to understand your emotions. Find your true purpose.

My wife decided to throw everything away and create a broken home for our children all over issues that could have easily been worked on. If it wasn't for this book coming into my life at the right time, I'm not sure I'd be able to survive this.

Letting go of ego and learning how to be present is a very powerful thing. Find your true inner peace.

yosemitesam00 · 2024-07-29T12:23:45+00:00

@OP, you need to be a good partner to yourself first. To me, it sounds like you're in a place where I was very much at when I separated from my ex. I didn't like myself,and that needs to change. You have the freedom and need to give yourself the permission to, chase and accomplish your own goals. Be selfish for a while and focus on you and the rest will follow.

Neither-Butterfly184 · 2024-07-29T12:12:02+00:00

I am sorry. I understand your frustration. I am divorcing from my ex-wife in my late 40’s for some similar reasons. I find it exceedingly difficult as well to find a female partner that doesn’t friend zone. Luckily for me I guess I am bisexual. I’ve pretty much given up on dating women because the ones I typically like friend zone me. I have too many female friends and don’t need another. My life isn’t what I wanted but I’m slowly accepting the bullshit known as my new reality.

laztaztic · 2024-07-29T11:26:31+00:00

Fuck what everyone else is saying. It's not you. It's American women. They are spoiled rotten. Entitled and delusional. Go anywhere else and it's a different world. Women are women and know their role.

crager34 · 2024-07-29T10:38:59+00:00

“I cannot find a suitable partner no matter how hard I try.”

Look in the mirror. YOU are that partner.

softinvest · 2024-07-29T05:24:27+00:00

You want to know the best way to find someone else?

…

Find yourself first.

Find a purpose in your life. Not a wife. Find a reason you want to get up everyday. Maybe you want to become a marathon runner, maybe you want to travel the world, maybe you want to volunteer regularly. Obsess with something that will drive you to focus on life. Life isn’t all about being married. I used to think the same way as you and I fell into the trap of being boring to my wife. Being predictable and way too accommodating. A yes man. But the beauty of finding yourself is that the people you meet along the way, will be attracted to you because you follow your passions. They will match your energy and maybe your interests too.

Experience life, the wife will find you while you do.

MandingoMaasai · 2024-07-29T05:07:41+00:00

You're a man, so I'm going to respect you enough to expect you to have the capacity to handle bitter truths.

You come off as woefully unattractive. You're still stuck on your ex, you're moaning and bitching, don't sound like you have anything going on beyond a desperate need to be loved -and even that is just to prove your ex wrong.

Why would any woman want to be with you? I'm a straight man, and reading this repelled me. How much worse is it for women?

Start by developing hobbies. I'd suggest 2: hit the gym and take up running.

Here's why: The gym will allow you to fix not just your body but your obviously imbalanced hormones. You'll gain confidence and stop whining. The bonus is that you'll look good.

Joining a runners club in your area allows you to start creating a social circle that allows you to interact with women.

Or you know, you can keep doing what you're doing because it's obviously working out swimmingly for you.

Reflog1791 · 2024-07-29T04:00:12+00:00

What would you get out of a relationship that you can’t get from being a buff successful bachelor?

Title	18 months since she petitioned.
Author	LuvDonkeeButts
Upvotes	18
Comments	30
Date	July 29, 2024 3:23 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1eepk7m/18_months_since_she_petitioned/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/18-months-since-she-petitioned.1525642 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525642

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