Don't know how I am going to afford life after Child Support and Medical coverage. Need advice, badly.

crazy89 · 2012-09-11T06:09:19+00:00

The United States has diplomatic relations but no extradition treaties with the following countries, which are listed in alphabetical order: Afghanistan, Algeria, Andorra, Angola, Armenia, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Brunei, Burkina Faso, Burundi, Cambodia, Cameroon, Cape Verde, the Central African Republic, Chad, China, the Union of the Comoros, Democratic Republic of the Congo, Cote d' Ivoire, Djibouti, Equatorial Guinea, Ethiopia, Gabon, Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, Indonesia, Jordan, Kosovo, Kuwait, Laos, Lebanon, Libya, Madagascar, the Maldives, Mali, the Marshall Islands, Mauritania, the Federated States of Micronesia, Moldova, Mongolia, Montenegro, Mozambique, Myanmar, Namibia, Nepal, Niger, Oman, Qatar, the Russian Federation, Rwanda, Samoa, São Tomé & Príncipe, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Serbia, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, Togo, Tunisia, Uganda, United Arab Emirates, Vanuatu, Vietnam, Yemen, and Zimbabwe.

What? How did that list get there? Weird.

chavelah · 2012-09-11T15:29:57+00:00

Things are bad now, but you are making $1200/month now. People making that little and trying to do right by their kids are always incredibly stretched financially, and the whole whole divorced, court-ordered aspect sure doesn't help any man's state of mind. If you can increase your earnings over time, you can reach a point where you can both support your kids and afford to have a life yourself. But your first responsibility is to support your kids. $400/month is not an unreasonable support payment, assuming that you are not the primary custodial parent. Do they have clothes and shoes and food and toys? If so, then your money is going where it needs to go.

The insurance thing is an entire other issue. Many intact families as poor as yours choose to go without their job-provided insurance coverage, but that's not an option you have since you're divorced. If your ex has a documented mental condition and gets SSI, it's not likely that she'll ever work. But it's very likely that both she and the kids will be eligible for government insurance, either a federal or state program. This is something you can look into.

You may also qualify for food stamps, local programs that provide needy children with holiday gifts, etc. You may be eligible to take on student loans to cover your college expenses (almost everybody is.)

$800/month to take care of multiple kids is really not an unreasonable sum, especially since it includes private heath insurance. The problem is that you don't make enough. It's very wrong that the government is asking you to pay more than you can realistically afford, but since you're lucky enough to have your parents providing your housing, you really CAN make it to the other side of this. Just solving the insurance issue by getting your kids on CHIP would be huge.

Funcuz · 2012-09-11T05:28:06+00:00

This is why I keep telling men : STAY AWAY FROM WESTERN WOMEN !

No , it's not that they're all bad . Of course not . It's that the system is RIGGED so that as soon as things go sour , it facilitates and encourages her to leave you with nothing .
Nobody plans to get divorced or break up after years of being together even when there are children involved . Nobody . Everybody starts out with the highest hope and everything is sunshine and roses .
Then , one day you realize you don't like each other as much as you thought you did . The problem here is that YOU are the only one who stands to lose because that's the way the system is set up .

What help is there ? None , really . All you can do is warn others and keep working to dismantle this downright biased and completely unfair , sexist joke of a system .

The system is made to ensure that you lose . Work to change it and maybe you'll get some relief some day .

tacobacalao · 2012-09-11T08:52:20+00:00

I've not been where you are and please do not consider this an informed advice - merely food for thought:

the financial obligations towards the child and the mother are unlikely to get lower
if you can't afford college there is little chance of improving your income
if the obligations stay the same or increase and the income stays the same this means that you'll be stuck in the current situation unless 1 or 2 change

If I were in that situation I'd probably visit one of the coutries crazy89 listed or try for the French Foreign Legion. Have you spoken to the local recruitment officer for the armed forces?

truthjusticeca · 2012-09-11T13:22:32+00:00

Consider a second job in the underground economy or contact the Planetary Alliance of Fathers in Exile.

rightsbot · 2012-09-11T03:18:18+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

gibbler · 2012-09-11T16:27:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Netethics · 2012-09-11T13:56:49+00:00

My father was a damn good lawyer who successfully defended a whole bunch of falsely accused and convicted people. I am not a lawyer, but was able -- over the years -- to get a number of men out of debtors's prison, falsely accused of "willful violation" of Child Support orders.

I have a stunning statistic at this point: not one of about a dozen of them joined the MRM. All they want is to get off-hooked and live happily thereafter, be it a couple of beers a night or whatever else makes them happy. As compassionate as I am, when I hear complaints that no help is available to men, I cringe. Help??? -- Did you ever try to help yourself, let alone other people? What the hell is wrong with these people? Is it fluoride in water or something else?

2012-09-11T09:58:04+00:00

You're liable until the death of the child or your own death...

celibacy4life · 2012-09-11T16:10:49+00:00

I can only see two options. You need to start working more, or find a blue collar job (possibly one that's considered dangerous) that pays better then the one you have. The system doesn't care about you. It cares about making sure you pay what they say you owe. The only way to get ahead is to find a way to make more money. At this point nothing should be off the table. Otherwise I fear that you will eventually end up in jail as a deadbeat dad.

2012-09-11T13:48:19+00:00

Gibbler, Dammit, my heart bleeds for you... You followed your heart, and it was stripped out of you.. Now you look at life limited, in choices.. GET THE FUCK OUT.... create an account with the child's name. any extra you can cover drop it into there... Leave the country, go south or asia.. learn a language, enjoy life.. and keep tossing into the account what money you can..

send a couple certified letters to that child. letting them know what their mother did..

Title	Don't know how I am going to afford life after Child Support and Medical coverage. Need advice, badly.
Author	gibbler
Upvotes	24
Comments	36
Date	September 11, 2012 3:17 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zous3/dont_know_how_i_am_going_to_afford_life_after/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/dont-know-how-i-am-going-to-afford-life-after.1013786 https://theredarchive.com/post/1013786

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