Divorced dad here, do I have to pay any more than the minimum child support payments?

Demonspawn · 2012-06-19T14:51:39+00:00

The solution is simple. Tell your ex-wife you're not paying, and then you throw the bar mitzvah for your son.

InfallibleBiship · 2012-06-19T14:09:44+00:00

I'm not sure what your ex-wife's legal recourse might be, but child support is not intended to pay for parties.

This should be something that you and/or your ex voluntarily do for your child. If you are not interested in contributing to her party, then you should not. Personally, if I were to be contributing, I'd want to be not only enthusiastically invited, but involved in the planning and execution, as well as being able to invite my own friends/family. If this were not the case, I'd consider having my own party.

TerriChris · 2012-06-19T15:55:06+00:00

can retaliate by withdrawing the extra payment and telling her to pay for the party out of the child support payments.

Yes. But why not over-pay child support payment. Send the same amount due, but more frequently. Extra payments are used to help pay down your obligation. Later you can skip a few payments if she annoys you...and you will be current with the government records.

LifeProTip: Remember to save all child support payment records like cancelled checks and payment stubs.

VoodooIdol · 2012-06-19T17:12:34+00:00

She can't take you to court for the "extra payments". Your court order outlines precisely what you have to pay and you are not obligated to one red cent further.

That being said - using your child as a weapon against your ex is wrong no matter what side it comes from, and that's what you're talking about doing. If you want to pay for the celebration for your child (not for your ex) then you do it because you care for your child. If you don't think the sum is fair then that is something you need to discuss with your ex.

Be the bigger person.

otter111a · 2012-06-19T14:53:47+00:00

Make the check out to your son so he knows you paid for his party. What this comes down to is her manipulating access to your son for her own selfish reasons. You want your son to know that you are there for him and that this party is about your relationship with him, not his mother.

2012-06-19T13:13:41+00:00

No, I don't believe you're obligated to pay for anything like a party.

I would save that money and do something special for your son (either an activity between you and him, or a gift for him, etc.). They money is for him, not her plans and her whims. And if she tries to argue in court that you're withholding or something, you have demonstrable proof that you indeed spent the money on your son.

birdsofprey · 2012-06-20T04:53:18+00:00

I think the question is this: do you want your son to have a great party or do you want to fight with his mom and make it a miserable experience for him.

If you really care about your son and he is the main priority set aside the differences you have with his mom and just pay for it. Why make your son suffer because you can't get along with his mom.

Heavy_In_Your_Arms · 2012-06-20T06:34:08+00:00

Don't punish your kid for your wife's behavior. If this is something for your kid, then pay the money for the sake of your kid. Your ex-wife is something you have to deal with for the benefit of your kid.

gte910h · 2012-06-20T20:47:20+00:00

Do you have to pay anything? No.

Would you be sorry if you don't? Probably, you'll feel bad you shorted your son later on.

I'd ask for an inventory of costs, see what you can come up with as any reasonable reductions, then pay what you want out of that.

If your friends and family are excluded, do not pay anything.

genuinemra · 2012-06-19T14:03:55+00:00

I highly doubt that she'd be able to take you to court for the extra money. However, why would you retaliate/punish your son for his mother's actions? It sounds like you're being just as petty as she is.

samarye · 2012-06-19T13:23:47+00:00

The best way to get a correct answer to this question would be to consult your lawyer. If you have a Contact Agreement that your ex isn't living up to, you can notify the CSA of that. Also, your ex would probably have to formally petition the CSA to change your support arrangement, and I doubt they'd make you pay for a party. Check out http://www.childsupportlaws.co.uk/ for quite a bit of relevant information.

rightsbot · 2012-06-19T12:40:17+00:00

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Title	Divorced dad here, do I have to pay any more than the minimum child support payments?
Author	ChildSupportQ
Upvotes	4
Comments	30
Date	June 19, 2012 12:39 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/v9usn/divorced_dad_here_do_i_have_to_pay_any_more_than/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/divorced-dad-here-do-i-have-to-pay-any-more-than.1019473 https://theredarchive.com/post/1019473

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