My sister-in-law is going after her child's father 5 years later because shes tired of being poor.

chavelah · 2012-04-19T18:27:25+00:00

No, there is no way out of it.

Should there be, in this case? Meh. He married her, had sex with her, and upon divorce made a verbal agreement with her about custody and support. There comes a point at which a person is so stupid that even the most just and impartial system could not reasonably protect him from the consequences of his choices.

Peter_Principle_ · 2012-04-19T21:09:22+00:00

He's fucked. Consult with a lawyer who specializes in family law to minimize the damage.

rightsbot · 2012-04-19T17:30:18+00:00

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filo4000 · 2012-04-19T21:33:49+00:00

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InfallibleBiship · 2012-04-19T23:00:00+00:00

My understanding is that child support agreements are always modifiable. The back support might be something he could fight, but probably not future CS payments (just my common sense reasoning with a really noob-level understanding of the law - IANAL).

2012-04-20T02:30:37+00:00

Note to all men reading this: when you agree to something with someone, get it in writing, notarized and if possible signed by a judge.

Especially child support.

Especially.

DBi · 2012-04-20T03:12:10+00:00

Sister-in-law is a horrible mother imo, but i dont have kids yet so i cant judge tooooo much. The only tones of voice she has for her daughter are loud and louder, and both contain resentment. Her daughter can do no right, and she has no patience to do or teach her anything. She is horrible with her finances, and will never catch up, which leads us to the problem. She now wants child support, and even said that because we live in texas, the guy will have to pay back support for the whole 5 years.

Tell the judge.

2012-04-20T20:11:37+00:00

He's fucked. I'm sorry. He's legally obligated to pay it, no matter what she said prior. Courts do not hold prior agreements of child support, no matter whether verbal or written, pre-nup or no pre-nup.

Should he be held liable for her just because her mother now wants him to be?

I can't answer that question for everyone. I look forward to a future where men are not shackled because of the whims of women, and to where unwanted children are not brought into a life of undue hardship and lack of opportunity because of whims of women. The bottom line is he has to pay, and there's nothing he can do about it. I'm sorry. The laws currently state a child should not be without support, because of the actions of its parents. I tend to agree with this in principle. I just don't agree with the methods, enforcements, or biases put forth by the courts.

I had a friend have a child at 16. Her parents, his parents, and the girl all agreed he would sign over all parental rights, if he would stay out of their lives. They said they would not pursue child support. He's now about 26, and hasn't paid a dime. The reason? She never sought out support. If she chose to today, he would be liable for back payments, and future until the child is 18. That's just the way it is.

The only bright spot would be if he could somehow get partial/full custody to alleviate some of the support burden, especially if her living situation is as bad as you say. I will say, this is going to be incredibly difficult if it has been 5 years, and he has had little/no contact with the daughter.

For any military men:

Sister-in-law and said guy were in the military and agreed to marry just to get the benefits,

Do not fucking do this. Period. Ever. Even if she's staying home and you're deployed. Even if you think you love her. Even if she will be homeless without your help. Do not fucking do it. This will ruin your military career, possibly force early discharge. They'll take the money right out of your paycheck for child support, or even let you go into arrears. If she has access to your bank accounts [most people get joint,] she can clean out your monthly payments while your overseas, and there will be nothing done about it.

Don't fucking do it guys.

NiceGuysSTFU · 2012-04-19T18:58:12+00:00

It's not BS b/c they 'agreed' to something long ago. That was foolish of them both to have done in the first place. I'm sorry that your S-I-L vastly underestimated the cost it takes to raise a kid on one income, but there is no need for your niece to be punished b/c of adult ignorance. If all went down as you say it has, hopefully the ex will not have to pay arrears and only is starting from this point forward. (I believe that is what happened to my brother with his son.) Do you know if the father ever gets to see his daughter or helps in any way? Hopefully he would have some sort of documentation to prove their arrangement thus far, though who knows what the court would accept.

Title	My sister-in-law is going after her child's father 5 years later because shes tired of being poor.
Author	OverFlow636
Upvotes	17
Comments	31
Date	April 19, 2012 5:29 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/si3o6/my_sisterinlaw_is_going_after_her_childs_father_5/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-sister-in-law-is-going-after-her-childs-father.1023631 https://theredarchive.com/post/1023631

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