DAE lose interest in helping a woman the moment that a physical relationship is off the table?

2010-12-07T14:41:15+00:00

HARD MODE: Come up with a smarmy FB status update

just use that old bumper sticker: "Gas, grass, or ass; no one rides for free"

FiveMagicBeans · 2010-12-07T22:41:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AnnArchist · 2010-12-07T09:57:58+00:00

You're 100% right to say "What do I get out of the deal?"

In fact, you should do just that. If you keep it light, you might even get "A blowjob" as a "joking" response.

And those who get offended if at the thought of you demanding something in return? It's a great way to find out the kind of people you know...so you can turf them unceremoniously...

javacodeguy · 2010-12-07T11:06:23+00:00

I treat all girls the same way I would treat guys. This solves this whole dilemma and probably also makes me seem like an asshole to girls. Most girls, especially the hotter ones, definitely feel like they can get away with so much with just a smile.

If I wouldn't do it for a guy I'm not going to do it for a girl on the same level (friend, acquaintance, rando).

Edit: Spelling

2010-12-07T11:37:05+00:00

I have the same experience as you. Some women try to take advantage of my vast technical / mechanical / DIY skills, but rarely return the favor, or even make a gesture of appreciation.

I believe many females are exploitive and manipulative towards males in general. Don't let them take advantage of you. Just turn them down - say you're too busy. If they act butt hurt or use any shaming tactics to get what they want, it just proves how exploitive and manipulative they are. These aren't your friends - you owe them nothing.

EDIT: I do have some female friends who do nice things like bake me cookies in exchange for me fixing their computer or whatnot. That's a fair trade, even if it is a stereotypical male/female exchange, and leaves me feeling appreciated for my work, not exploited.

InfinitelyThirsting · 2010-12-07T16:32:21+00:00

I'm glad I read past the title. If they're not offering any other thanks and aren't really good friends that you see all the time, then you're totally justified.

Any time I ask for help, there's food involved. I mean, I also just really like to feed people, but anything above a minor favour means food. Even if it's not planned out ahead of time and is a desperate favour, it means you get dinner.

BPhair · 2010-12-07T11:29:15+00:00

I noticed that they seem to flip a switch as soon as you finish. Before they are really nice, really flirty want to make a bunch of plans after. Then, as soon as you finish its like, "Thanks, but gtfo before my boyfriend comes into the room. Btw I'm not going to even try being remotely sociable towards you until I need something again."

2010-12-07T11:55:34+00:00

I've never had an interest in helping women fix their computers or anything else, especially once women who would have otherwise ignored me started asking for my help. So I charge them at a rate of $25/half hour. The prospect of actually having to part with money is usually enough to get women who want to use me to fuck off.

My wife gets free tech support, and so do my parents. Everybody else can damn well pay. I'm a mercenary, not a damn charitable organization.

Il128 · 2010-12-07T13:48:38+00:00

A friend is a friend. Someone who only talks to you when they want something is an abuser. Avoid this woman like the plague.

Men's rights only become involved where she was trading sex/petting for labor, that just makes her a whore and you a John. If you are OK with that that's fine just don't get in to an emotional relationship with a person like this. Keep is strictly business.

onlyvotes · 2010-12-07T09:47:59+00:00

Bear in mind some women (NAWALT! NAWALT!) have absolutely no moral regulator that prevents them from simply using people purely selfishly all the while trying to shame anyone who resists.

2010-12-07T17:59:10+00:00

Just tell them that you can't perpetually give out free help and that you are now charging a reduced rate for friends/etc.

Also, make better female friends. My male neighbors help me out all the time. I am going over tonight to unclog their drain/teach them how to do it. Real friendship is about reciprocity, so just make new female friends.

But also try not seeing all your lady friends as potential sex partners, that is a fast road to forever alone.

2010-12-07T23:28:25+00:00

I never help in the first place. Saves me a hell of a lot of time.

BinaryShadow · 2010-12-08T04:01:42+00:00

If it's to help her fix something on her work computer while I have a few minutes, that's fine. I'd do that for anyone. To actually come over to her house during my free time and do freebie tech support? I would only do that for a good friend. If the female is not a close friend I'm not really going to help other than some token advice. Given a choice, I'd rather be hanging out with my friends or be at home working on a hobby or two than do that.

2010-12-07T14:45:38+00:00

How on earth is this a men's rights issue? This is just you complaining about being a door mat for a long time and finally realizing that you shouldn't let women walk all over you.

If you want to trade your computer skills for sex... then do that man. Power to you, I am serious. Start a business where you help people with this kind of stuff and charge a decent amount of money. Then you can use said money to buy yourself some sex. Expecting a girl to give it up because you helped them with their computer is pretty absurd. If you don't want to help them... then just don't help them (thats what I do). How sex even relates to this is so beyond me. BTW: I've done some pretty huge favors for my real friends (they are male) and I never expect anything in return. Maybe these women aren't your real friends - otherwise you probably wouldn't feel that way.

Also, you can ask girls for these types of favors, too. "Hey can you help me go shopping? I am fashionably retarded and could use a female's perspective." You'll be floored how often women say yes and they don't expect anything at all in return.

2010-12-07T17:36:54+00:00

to the posted question... Yup.

EmeraldFalcon89 · 2010-12-07T17:45:47+00:00

Challenge accepted.

AnnArchist · 2010-12-07T18:12:54+00:00

Just say you were busy. Just because you know about computers it doesn't mean you can't be busy doing shit.

At the very least require them to drop off the computer at your home.

patatra · 2010-12-07T10:09:17+00:00

I don't see any reason why I should take time out of my busy schedule to help.

Because it's a nice thing to do, and if they're your friends they will hopefully help you out when you need it.

NiceGuysSTFU · 2010-12-07T14:07:40+00:00

The females I know don't offer any incentive (food/booze/money) and without the promise of a relationship, I don't see any reason why I should take time out of my busy schedule to help.

Well, it just sounds like you're a shitty friend if you won't help another friend out without the expectation of reciprocity. That said, most of my friends usually offer to repay favors w/ food, booze, trees, etc., but generally I decline.

2010-12-07T12:03:49+00:00

I haven't responded to either call.

You should say youre in business now and change 50$/hr for repairs.

Oddly enough, then the women act all butt hurt and say some variant of "shame on you" when I don't respond to their requests. WTF?

They are trying to use the pussy pass to get free computer repair help, dont do it! Teach those cunts a lesson now and show them they arent privileged.

"No food, no booze, no money, no sex....why the hell should I bother helping?"

try: "Gas, grass or ass. No one rides for free."

kloo2yoo · 2010-12-07T20:34:33+00:00

how would she have gained my interest? Beer, pizza, wages, or money. it's when she suggests that I should help her because she's pretty that I lose interest.

nanomagnetic · 2010-12-07T09:59:25+00:00

You need to rethink how you're viewing men and women. You complain that your male friends "slip" you tokens of appreciation but the women won't even offer incentive. That's sexist, plain and simple. If your male friends don't have to front you incentive, why do the women?

TheEnlightener · 2010-12-07T12:42:50+00:00

Do not help people who haven't earned it. Women are selfish - they've learned to be.

2010-12-10T18:03:52+00:00

You could, you know...be a good friend?

Christ you're an insufferable dick.

thetrollking · 2010-12-07T16:25:44+00:00

A couple years ago, on pretty much the last date I went on before dropping dating for hooking up, I met a cool and hot girl. We went on two dates. The first a simple get to know you lunch date and then I hung out with her and her female friend. Then I went on a third date with her. I showed up to find her parents and a few male friends of hers helping her pack and load up a uhaul to move. I, like a dummie, helped her move and never talked to her again.

This shit happens all the time with women. I think it's why they are so entitled and pampered in our society. They expect male 'friends' (which you really aren't if all you do is talk when she needs something) to help with anything they need help with but don't help back.

I knew one guy who kept helping this girl with her car and she wouldn't even tutor him in exchange. Chivalry obviously isn't dead.

I don't help women anymore. Just about two weeks back I went to the gas station early in the morning and this short and grey haired babyboomer feminist looking woman stopped me. She looked like one of my professors. She apparently needed help changing a tire, the paw paw thing. She even offered to pay me a few bucks. I told her NO and walked off. I won't help a babyboomer feminist who either took my rights or sat idle while others did so.

They want equality, that means doing things themselves.

What really amazes me is how most women won't help a man. But they all expect men to drop whatever and help them. They really do see men as nothing but utility devices, slaves and beasts of burden.

Title	DAE lose interest in helping a woman the moment that a physical relationship is off the table?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	11
Comments	65
Date	December 7, 2010 9:42 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ehkkd/dae_lose_interest_in_helping_a_woman_the_moment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/dae-lose-interest-in-helping-a-woman-the-moment.1045396 https://theredarchive.com/post/1045396

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