Hey everyone, I posted this on the main sub, and was redirected here. Glad to know this sub exists!

It’s been a year and a half since my ex fiancé and I split (and he cheated, but he doesn’t know that I know). I started getting back in the dating pool through OLD early on in the pandemic, but eventually stopped because I just felt kind of weird about it. I’ve been focusing on myself and my healing from the abuse of my relationship.

However, since the breakup and even until now, I can’t even imagine life with a man, even an HVM. It’s like there’s a mental block on my daydreams when it comes to anything romantic, and sometimes the idea of sex repulses me. My therapist advises me this is normal, but it almost makes me feel numb. I don’t ever want my ex to think he killed me for other men, but in a way, maybe he did? I always dreamed of finding the right HV man for me, but now it’s like finding out that Santa doesn’t exist. Let me add that I’m not putting my life on hold to get married or find someone (far from it), but it’s just odd that there’s this...block in accessing even a fantasy of an HVM.

Does anyone else feel like this or has felt like this?