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Top judge warns of compliance crackdown in family law disputes | We might finally see some consequences for Australian women who deny fathers access to their children

EricAllonde

September 3, 2021
118 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.smh.com.au/national/top-judge-warns-of-compliance-crackdown-in-family-law-disputes-20210812-p58i2w.html
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Title Top judge warns of compliance crackdown in family law disputes | We might finally see some consequences for Australian women who deny fathers access to their children
Author

EricAllonde

Upvotes 118
Comments 21
Date September 3, 2021 3:21 AM UTC
(4 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/pgx02l/top_judge_warns_of_compliance_crackdown_in_family/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/top-judge-warns-of-compliance-crackdown-in-family.1067177
https://theredarchive.com/post/1067177
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Comments

[–]rahsoft 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

we would have to wait and see

its very easy to say we are going to crack down on non-compliance, and then not to actually do it or not to apply it uniformly to both genders..

​

how about making custody default 50-50 . that would resolve a lot of issues

[–]ReasonableSignature7 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (14 children) | Copy Link

Default 50/50 comes with its own issues. Eg the parent working full-time suddenly has childcare needs and might have to look for another job that allows them to work round school half the week. The impact on children yo-yoing between two homes isn't always a positive one. Both parents would need a home big enough to be a permanent family home, etc. Glad to see non-compliance is going to be taken more seriously. About time too, courts make these orders - they need to enforce their own orders or it makes a mockery of the court. Edit - there's a parenting solution called nesting, where the children stay in the family home because it's their home and parents come and go, staying elsewhere during the other parent's time. Wouldn't work for everyone but as an assumed default I think it's a good contribution to the debate

[–]Broadside_Beers 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Of course 50-50 time isn’t going to work logistically in many cases, as you rightly pointed out.

But the point is, is that the default should be assumed as 50-50, because then you have somewhere to negotiate from. It recognises both the mum and the dad as equal parents that their child(ren) deserve and have a right to.

Fathers shouldn’t have to fight for years just to “visit” their child once every fortnight for an hour or two.

There’s a good reason why fifty fifty is often seen as a win for dads and a lose for mums…

[–]HPUnicorn 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I saw something that other day that I think fits here

"We should not be asking fathers WHY they gave up the fight to see their children on a regular basis post divorce, we should be asking mothers why the father had to fight at all"

[–]Broadside_Beers 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

As an alienated father who has been spending every resource on trying to see my son again for almost three years…. I feel this.

I am part of a few different support groups for alienated dads and typically the “cut off” point is 8 years. I haven’t seen or talked to someone who has kept up the fight longer. The fights that last 8 years all end in suicide.

I’ve also talked to people who have been alienated from their kid(s) and then learnt their kids fucking died.

I hate some people. But I would never wish that experience upon them. It is a living hell that most people thankfully will never know.

[–]rahsoft 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

As an alienated father who has been spending every resource on trying to see my son again for almost three years…. I feel this.

sorry to hear this

Ive clocked 10 years.....

[–]Broadside_Beers 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Fucking hell man. I… no words.

I don’t know what support network you have, but please know if you want to DM me, any time, I’m here. Even if it’s just to vent.

I don’t know you.

But.

I love you.

[–]rahsoft 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

thank you

not a lot to do to be honest _ i had to walk away.

Ive explained in this reddit before what happened, and I now only have to find a serious amount of money to mount a legal battle to get the 2nd part of the divorce petitioning for DV( got to find a lawyer who has the knowledge in this area!)

​

..and no I'm not suicidal ( already been through two sets of therapy./counselling)

But thank you anyway :)

[–]HPUnicorn 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's why 50/50 should be the starting point, sure there are bad fathers, sure there are bad mothers, but most are NOT bad and yet IMHO the system treats fathers as bad unless they prove themselves. There are simply too many stories of good fathers denied access to their children.

What also pisses me off to no end is to see 'people' say "Well don't only wants more visitation so he can reduce his CS obligations" and yet we never hear these same people say "The only reason mom is fighting is because she wants more CS"

[–]Dogrose22 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I sincerely hope things get better for you and your son and the rights you deserve as his father are acknowledged and that his rights are observed as your son - no court or person, including mothers, have any business to deny your relationship.

I wish you all the best.

[–]ReasonableSignature7 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

No of course they shouldn't.

Many fathers just can't do 50/50 although in the UK at least it's a legal right. It just doesn't work like that in many cases, so why have an unworkable as.a default?

Parenting arrangements are about the children not parents. What is in the children's best interests, that's the starting point. Default is that children have a right to a relationship with both their parents. I do agree there is much still to be done and many fathers don't have access to justice meaning many children are being deprived of a parent for no good reason.

[–]Broadside_Beers 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah dude, what’s in the child’s best interest is the maximum amount of time with mum and dad both.

Not entirely sure what angle you’re pushing here

[–]HPUnicorn 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ok, so I have to ask , you have made an assertion that "Many (weasel word) fathers can't do 50/50" so then now it is incumbent on you to provide actual proof of this assertion because you know what "Many mothers can't do 50/50 either"

So then I have to ask, if 50/50 shouldn't be the default, then what should the default be. There has to be a starting point otherwise you will get great injustice.

[–]armaadi 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

A man shouldn't have to fight tooth and nail to get to see his children. A 50 50 starting point resolves this. If he needs to negotiate down, that's fine. It shouldn't be somewhere where he rips up his 401k just to have an opportunity to visit.

As for unworkable being the default, it already is the default for men.

[–]rahsoft 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Edit - there's a parenting solution called nesting, where the children stay in the family home because it's their home and parents come and go, staying elsewhere during the other parent's time. Wouldn't work for everyone

​

wouldn't work for 90-95% of the time unless you are wealthy, got money for 3 homes instead of 2? I guarantee you that if your spouse wasn't working , you would have to provide a home to the same standard as the current one.

As for kids yo-yoing between home not being positive, I don't buy it. Kids are incredibly resilient( look at expat kids- I had one, they manage). Where kids are NEVER resilient is when they are denied a relationship( including living time) with both parents.

Nesting was proposed by opponents of shared custody as an attempt to make it too difficult or costly for both parents to have shared custody. When it was suggested to them that then the father should get sole custody and the mother becomes the visitor, they backtracked to the idea of shared custody...

50/50 should have always been the default position. It prevents/reduces abuse by one parent including PA. It can always become flexible to meets the current needs of one parent( jobs etc).

You are right about the court should enforce their order, otherwise, as one judge has already said. " a court that does not enforce its orders is impotent".

[–]TheProclaimed99 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Having 50/50 be a starting point and then negotiate from that would be good

[–]sgt_oddball_17 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Australia went full Woke years ago, so I'm not going to hold my breath.

[–]Fario21 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

All first world country is super woke . You can't even tell Dad or gay jokes in public.

[–]Powerful_Software_14 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Great.

[–]OldEgalitarianMRA 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This quote makes me think they may be doing the right thing here but there are so many ways a woman can withhold the children that without default 50/50 equal shared parenting, parental alienation cannot be stopped:

“There will be costs orders if need be. There may be a revision of orders. If one party has withheld children against the orders that were made in the best interests of the child without a proper reason, orders may have to be adjusted, giving that party less time or ensuring they do comply in the future,” he said.

[–]BluedHaze 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Good news. We'll see how the law is applied.

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