Hey girls.

I'm recently 31. I've always been pretty attractive, conventionally so. I attract men of all races. But I'm very, very picky. I'm honestly an incel's nightmare. I wouldnt admit this to most people IRL but I generally only date men 6' and up (and basically all my exes were 6'2-6'3), who have good earning potential, etc. I do care a lot about character, morals, and personality too.... but so few guys match up to what I want. Honestly, very few guys I've ever met were even my equal. And a lot of my equals settled down young. I wasn't interested in marriage until my mid-late 20s, due to childhood trauma (my parents had an abusive marriage including infidelity, physical violence, etc plus we have generational trauma). I just opted out of dating until 25. I was actually a virgin until I met my ex... so I had sex for the first time at 29 despite being chased for many years.

I thought I'd marry my ex. He had a lot going for him, including:

  • 6'3
  • will make 200k+ a year
  • cute, good looking face, 6 pack abs
  • emotionally very smart
  • more evolved than 90% of men
  • has a well off family that looooooves me
  • technically a dr
  • doesnt judge me at all
  • is willing to do anything I ask, including always paying, opening doors, paying most bills, etc

Tbh I do feel as long as I 100% promise commitment forever, he'll do what I ask. But he has a shitty-ish past, a stupid dad who mistreated his mom, so I'm afraid he'll turn into that. He also had bad mental health problems (due to his demanding school program, and a couple other major traumas he's suffered in the last 4 years). His dad loves me though and thinks I'm super classy... and I can see his parents leaving us a lot of money. My ex is a bit immature and annoying at times but I know he generally would be OK, I would just have to be "the rock" between us. He's not a true masculine man. He also mistreated me for months (but I also mistreated him too, I physically assaulted him) while he had his mental health problems.. but now I see it as manageable because I have a handle on myself now (I used to be toxic and I had a ton of trauma). I'm more of the leader/more the powerful one between us. He admits this.

I think he'd make a great father. I 100% see it. I just think I'd forever have to be the leader/the one to set character/moral standards. I see a lot of benefits to being with him. I dont see him ever cheating on me to be honest. I also dont see him hitting me... he doesnt have it in him, I can tell. I can just see him being a bit of a kid. I'd have to be OK baby'ing him at times.

If I settled down at 22, I'd probably be dealing with this less. But I'm 31 and I'm aware that many HVM have their LTRs before 30. I'm trying to be long-term smart. I do love my ex, I have feelings for him. And I logically see the benefits. I'd honestly be in control. But I wouldnt be getting the perfect man nor a probable real HVM. It sucks to accept this. But most other men I encounter are sub-6', lack real interesting/good qualities, etc. A lot of unattractive men arent even worth it, whereas my ex is attractive, wealthy and emotionally smart.

Wwyd, fds?