How does one find a good lawyer?

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-09-23T16:50:33+00:00

https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13377

pegleg_legal · 2021-09-24T00:49:25+00:00

I got two references one was SUPER expensive (600 per hour for consultation), and the other just ghosted me when I tried to call for my scheduled consultation...

From the lawyer's perspective, if you're just investigating the possibility of divorce, we don't want to meet with your for free because your time horizon is unknown and you're probably just shopping around. Otherwise known in the industry as a "tire kicker". Additionally, covid (like any sort of stress inducing large scale event) has put divorce on the uptick so all my divorce lawyer friends are super busy.

So be prepared to face this dynamic going into it. It being a lawyer's market, the way you present yourself is important to getting a good, reasonably priced lawyer. If you're organized with the basic facts in hand, and present yourself as a calm, cool and collected person, you'll be attractive to the "right" kind of lawyers.

And 600 per hour is not super expensive these days, high end for sure.

how did you all find a good lawyer?

Assuming you're in the U.S., your county will probably have a bar association and if the population is sizeable, they will probably have a family law division. If they have a website, there will be a lawyer referral service and even a list of lawyers.

The three main criteria for choosing a lawyer are:

Relevant, significant experience. If mental health issues predominate your case, then you need a lawyer who has mental health issue experience. If you think your wife is gonna fight, they also need trial experience. Actually, I would say everyone should choose a lawyer with trial experience because these "settlement settlement settlement" lawyers get pushed around. How complicated is your case (relative to others)?
Fit and personality. Male or female? Who will your wife listen to / who will be able to control her / who will she focus her hate on? What are your main strengths and weaknesses (organization, conflict management, good cop/bad cop) and how can this lawyer complement them.
Capacity and Hourly rate. If you hire a solo, be prepared to deal with bandwith limitations. If you hire a firm, make use of the lower hourly rate staff. A higher hourly rate doesn't mean you will pay more overall! A shitty lawyer at 100 an hour will cost you more than 600 per hour star, in terms of overall legal fees and favorable settlements.

But I will say that a 600 per hour paid initial consultation is a 'go away, i'm too busy' indication if the general market is free initial consults in your area.

Optimus_Prime_2000 · 2021-09-24T04:08:12+00:00

I picked the closest one to my house. I talked to a firm down town but private practice is cheaper and they are more available.

bjhoc11 · 2021-09-23T21:09:42+00:00

As a man, you can simply get ready to get steamrolled.

Best advice that I can give - do what my ex-wife did… you need to set your wife up for failure, make her look bad or at least potentially bad.

It’s dishonest, but all that dishonesty worked great for her and the court conveniently doesn’t care about her extra-marital relationships and shady dealings, pawning my kids off with middle school babysitters so she could get drunk and laid lining up her next moron.

As much as I feel like an idiotic dope for marrying her in the first place, I have two amazing kids. They make me feel whole. I’m still fighting to protect our custody time and my parenting rights.

She naturally found some guy/clown to have a kid with her. He must be more trusting than even my former overly-trusting self, and he somehow thinks more with his eyes and dick than I ever did.

She got pregnant from him while she and I were still married. She managed to dupe my former lawyer and therefore me into 3 years of unconditional alimony since she knew she was pregnant.

Welcome to the world of divorce here in the US. The court will treat her and her inadequacies with forgiveness and act like she’s always a victim. You’re a man and (therefore) scum and scourge of the earth. If you misstep even slightly, it’s because you’re allegedly a horrible human and men are evil.

Wait & see… this won’t sound so ridiculous after you’ve been through the US divorce/custody gauntlet as a man.

Good luck… you’ll need it!

Title	How does one find a good lawyer?
Author	Rustic_Father
Upvotes	7
Comments	9
Date	September 23, 2021 4:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ptz7k8/how_does_one_find_a_good_lawyer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-does-one-find-a-good-lawyer.1074755 https://theredarchive.com/post/1074755

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