Do you want a partner? .

If you are insane enough to answer that with a yes, well have I got great news for you.

For the meagre price of voting Tory three times in a row, we now have the Domestic Abuse Act 2021.

According to the act, a person whom is a partner can report you for ONE INSTANCE OF DOMESTIC ABUSE.

That's correct, ONE INSTANCE.

Not a course of conduct like Harassment requires, which is already a dangerously low standard of proof. But one instance of something that somebody else considers domestic abuse.

This is hardcore, you raised your voice once, maybe you exercised your rights in your own home, who knows, maybe you decided... I am not spending my money on my partner this time.

Get this gem... IT'S RETROACTIVE! And isn't limited to recent events. That's right, if your anxiety meds weren't enough, DADDY STATE IS HERE TO STEP ON YOUR FACE!

Have I got some great news. Economic abuse is contained in the act!

That's right folks... you can abuse somebody by refusing to pay for their shit.

So... now we have laid the groundwork, let's talk consequences for forcing your 16 year old to eat their greens.

First of all, IF YOU ARE LUCKY (They can skip this step) they may ask you for your opinion on the abuse. Which will be obviously, "literally who?".

Because anybody who tries this shit on any self respecting person is practically dead to them... but don't worry, the act has that in mind...

So if they think you might, do the reasonable thing, and boot the accuser the fuck out. They can order you to not do that, and they can also order you to not come back into your own house, and stay the hell away from them.

That's right, you read that correctly... banned from your own home that you pay for, and they will ask you "where your abode will be" on the spot... like it isn't going to be 123 FUCKING CARDBOARD BOX LANE!

This got royal ascent by the way, it is an act.

Also, after banning you from your home, they can electronically tag you... remember, all for keeping your wallet to yourself, or raising your voice over your shitty 17 year old not eating their broccoli.

Isn't this fun... what a cohesive family unit this creates. It's not like people have ever lied in court, ever, about domestic affairs to fuck people over...

So if you haven't booted your 16 year old into homelessness because they are a literal liability who you have no functional authority over any more, you're actually mad.

Speaking of mad, if you have a mental illness, they can hold you in a mental hospital if you are remanded...

Yeah, welcome to Broadmoor, you had a mental illness on your medical record of OCD, now you get to spend your time in a home for the criminally insane whilst awaiting your hearing.

...BY THE WAY!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! If you get banged up for this on Christmas Day... the clock on your arrest time doesn't start ticking till midnight on boxing day!!! MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!

The same goes for any Sunday, or bank holiday... So this year, with Christmas on a Saturday, that 3 days in custody, being relentlessly interrogated before they have to release you, because you were accused of raising your voice one time, in your own home.

So you got your ankle tag now, did I forget to mention that they can tag you on a protection order, because how do you disprove somebody else saying they got upset over your voice raising shenanigans of... ya know, parental responsibility, or your EX partner just being a vindictive EX. Now you get the luxury of having somebody being a literal spy in your life to ensure you don't break the conditions of your protection notice. What fun!

Who knows, lets say you go home to pack your things, and breach your order...

It isn't contempt of court thankfully, but it is still a prison sentence for 6-12 months or a fine... OR BOTH!!! WOOHOO!!! A permanent blot on your criminal record and in the worst case 5 years for escalating something that was basically an accusation that you were unusually loud one time... or a complete and utter fabrication!

I hope the broccoli is worth it...

This act, by the way, IS COMPLETELY GENDER NEUTRAL! So the first one to make the claim, I guess, is the winner? I mean, they won the awesome power of the state, COMPLETELY TEAR A FAMILY APART IN A MATTER OF SECONDS... BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE BEST PART!!!

If the court SUSPECTS that the VICTIM is going to BACK OUT!!! THEY CAN ACCELERATE THE MEASURES!!! DID SOMEBODY SAY SNOWBALL BECAUSE WE GOT OURSELFS A RUNAWAY BOULDER!!!

Also it specifically mentions High Court and the Family courts in the act!!! So you know shit is going down, because it can quickly go from a fair court system, directly into the hands of the Kangaroo Family court, where nothing is documented and the appeals process is a nightmare!

And just to hammer those nails into the coffin, in order to activate this act... you need to be in a relationship with the person, cohabiting IS NOT MENTIONED.

So kiss buh bye to the picket fence and family, it isn't worth it for any self respecting man, especially given how women have been acting in this day and age imprisoning folks for literally fuck all, well now we have this shit show.

If you don't believe a word I say in this, good for you... but read the act, it will make your face fall faster than you can say, "gee, this is literally terribly ill thought through and can be easily abused by liars and scoundrels".

If you want kids, use a sperm bank, welcome to England 2021, it's a fucking shit show, I have no idea why I live here anymore.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2021/17/contents