Ex trying to change parenting schedule with lies.

streetsmartwallaby · 2021-09-17T17:49:05+00:00

I would (and in fact did) fight and she ended up folding because she had no good reason - why the change would be for our child’s best interest - to take to the judge.

You are your child’s advocate. Any change needs to benefit them. And mommy playing with new friend does not benefit your kid.

Good luck and stick to your guns.

jimsmythee · 2021-09-17T18:54:08+00:00

Best thing to do is request a hearing in front of a family court judge. Be respectful and plead your case that you don't want to change the parenting time order.

My exwife tried to do that. She didn't get any alimony in our divorce (thank you!) and she wasn't working and the bills were just piling up. Plus she got hit was a $2k criminal restitution order from her previous DUI and then she got sued on some credit cards she stopped paying on. So what ever was she to do? Get a job? Hell no! And apparently her new husband didn't want to get a second job to pay her bills. So they decided to file new Child Support paperwork and put her income down as Zero.

So I went ahead and immediately requested a hearing. We did this Pro Se. Family court is different. So I just went in there and pleaded my case that she CAN NOT put her income down as zero, not unless she is disabled and collecting SSDI. She tried to say, "Well, I applied for disability and I'm waiting for a response." The judge threw it out and said, "No, you have to already be on disability. Until then, your deeded income is minimum wage 40 hours." Then my exwife wanted to modify our parenting schedule from 50/50 to something more skewed her her, so she could at least get more CS $'s. The judge sent us to the mediator.

Before we even met up with the mediator? Her new husband left her. As much as I didn't want to pay her bills, her new husband didn't either.

cschoonmaker · 2021-09-17T19:12:18+00:00

Don't give in. Do what is your child's best interest. If her concern is to match up your sons custody time with the new boyfriends custody time with his kids, then the boyfriend can change his custody schedule. If she takes that reasoning into court I doubt a judge is going to order the changes. It wouldn't be in your sons best interest.

And don't bother telling her to go suck a dick, it sounds like she already is.

HelixFish · 2021-09-17T21:48:51+00:00

Think about it carefully. There is opportunity here. She wants a concession from you. What do you want? She needs to hear that your work schedule is more important than her social schedule. What does your son say? If he’s old enough then his opinion should matter. While she doesn’t need your approval to move on with her life, keeping you in the loop is respectful, especially if it effects your son which you both share. His issues don’t stop when he swaps houses and if they are coming from her household that’s a problem. She has been lying and hiding things, this is not a respectful way to get what she wants. Tell her this! If there is a compromise that costs you nothing find it, offer it up, but use this opportunity to extract something from her that you want or need. Make it seem like you are giving her the world and that it hurts. It’s better to not need to do this, but that’s not where you’re at. Finally, a week on/week off schedule is usually better for the kids, less moving back and forth all the time, more peace, more time to enjoy where they are at. Maybe that won’t work right now, but maybe it will later. Even telling her that you can’t now because of work but will see if future changes can make it happen might help her out. Always foster goodwill when possible.

slab3 · 2021-09-17T18:16:59+00:00

Just listen to your lawyer

pegleg_legal · 2021-09-20T02:53:11+00:00

What are the child support consequences of her requested change?
What is the impact to the stability of your kid?
How will this impact your ability to earn income or have meaningful parenting time?
What is the driving factor from her side besides convenience and pairing up schedules?
What would you need in order to agree to something like this? If anything.
What part of you is leveraging your ability to be a spoiler - I know you mentioned it but get some self-clarity there.
How will the best interests of your child be viewed? What's their argument. Her lawyer will need to file a petition, so once you get a copy of that you can better see how to respond.
Is there anything in your agreement that requires some good faith negotiation about changes to parenting schedules - make sure she doesn't try to ding you with her legal fees.

Title	Ex trying to change parenting schedule with lies.
Author	Feinixaway
Upvotes	10
Comments	7
Date	September 17, 2021 5:38 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/pq4udi/ex_trying_to_change_parenting_schedule_with_lies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/ex-trying-to-change-parenting-schedule-with-lies.1075913 https://theredarchive.com/post/1075913

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