Men are expected to be having a lot of sex by both women and other men and are shamed if they don’t and I’m fucking tired of it.

CrowMagpie · 2021-10-25T02:10:51+00:00

I'm roughly 50 years old, male, and a virgin.

I refuse to be ashamed of that.

Diomil · 2021-10-25T00:53:24+00:00

So what? Do you HAVE to do what women and other men expect you to do? Does your happiness depend on it? You are a man, you are strong, you do not depend on anyone's approval. Live your life however you want as long as you dont hurt others, your happiness depends only on yourself.

furchfur · 2021-10-24T22:35:35+00:00

Do not believe the media, do not be influenced by it.

Live your life as you want to live it.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2021-10-24T22:34:03+00:00

Is the equivalent of slut shaming for women, is sexual shaming.

Is literally impossible for all men to fullfill those standars with 80% of women onlly being attracted to the top 20% of men, regardless of how hard you work for it because by definition they only want the top.

Therefore is very natural for the mayority of men to not have lots of sex.

And theres actually a lot to gain with no having sex and instead redirecting all that energy and attention to other productive things.

Stoicism is a male trait.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-10-25T01:31:00+00:00

It's a thinly veiled primordial instinct to want to keep everybody fucking, everybody reproducing so "team human" can proliferate indefinitely.

The shaming is for those who dare question the primordial imperative.

banelash88 · 2021-10-25T05:47:22+00:00

I myself am in a drought but couldn't be happier Life is much more simple and enjoyable

2021-10-25T01:31:29+00:00

The most annoying thing about this is that because of supply and demand, women are more valued. Men who are more attractive are still overlooked by average women in their quest for the perfect man while average men can't even get average women because of how inflated their sense of self is.

Dating apps, social media, feminism. Basically these things make women super entitled.

Everytime women make the complaint about how "men who have a lot of sex are gods but women who do are sluts" don't seem to realise why people think this.

When a man has a lot of sex, it's impressive because it's so hard to get a woman in the first place.

But for a girl to have had a large number of partners kinda shows she's easy. Most guys will think "okay so what's wrong with her?" They might hook up, but any idea of commitment is out the window.

ThePigmanAgain · 2021-10-25T07:43:22+00:00

Can't comment, busy fucking.

ARedditorCalledQuest · 2021-10-25T01:38:42+00:00

I'm equal parts amused and annoyed at how men are simultaneously expected to be and demonized for being ready to fuck anything and anyone at a moment's notice.

angerproblemsTM · 2021-10-24T23:39:08+00:00

This is true and I’m sorry you feel this way. Society is very sex obsessed now days. Sex doesn’t just sell anymore, sex just is. Someone in the comments described the expectation as ‘the equivalent of slut shaming for women’ and I think that’s pretty bang on the mark. The only thing you can do is live for yourself and keep yourself happy.

ZS_1171 · 2021-10-25T03:00:40+00:00

"Eww he's a virgin..."

"You are attracted to her? What a simp! Back off, man!"

"She dont need no man!"

What are we supposed to do here then?

TinCan_Assassin · 2021-10-25T04:22:58+00:00

Men are also expected to be in such complete control of their sexual facilities to the point where he could live as a monk if he so chose, or if it was chosen for him via rejection. Both extremes at once. If you're celibate you're less than a man/ a eunuch, if you're in a relationship you're pussy whipped, and if you have a lot of casual sex you're a man whore/ out of control/ misogynistic. We can't win.

Shadrixian · 2021-10-25T04:57:28+00:00

Do it and you're a manslut. Don't do it and you're an jncel. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I'm far too analytical to give a fuck about it anymore. If the thought runs through my head and doesn't come out with enough beneficial outcomes to outweigh the negatives, its not worth my time giving any mind.

Introvert82 · 2021-10-24T23:03:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Many_Statement_6922 · 2021-10-24T23:32:55+00:00

Thank your lucky stars you are not gay...as that expectation goes up twicefold.

ld2gj · 2021-10-25T02:52:00+00:00

I'm active duty military and did not have sex till I was 25 and about to go on my second deplopyment. I brag about that.

sgt_oddball_17 · 2021-10-25T06:15:34+00:00

Fzck that shzt.

I didn't have sex until I was married in my 30s. Been married now over 20 years. I'm not sure what the problem is with the shamers, but I bet it has a complicated name.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2021-10-24T23:26:19+00:00

My understanding is that neither men nor women are having as much sex as they used to. Sex negative feminism has won, when it comes to men. But there are far less marriages these days so you know which branch of the MRM is winning here.

WingsofSky · 2021-10-25T01:07:13+00:00

In Western society you're supposed to shoot out tons of kids. No responsibility afterwards though.

If you don't have lots of kids. Everyone goes on about you "Being gay" or what not(sarcasm).

These asshats don't believe in personal choice. That you can or can not have children. No choice. Which is disgusting.

OppressedMeninist · 2021-10-25T03:29:44+00:00

Yeah, society has become far too hypersexual and allowing animalistic instincts to take control over their core human instincts. It's sickening the over inflated sense of worth and value of sex expected from men. And I absolutely hate it when men that have strong self control and waiting for someone special or struggle to find a partner are shamed for not being like everyone else. Meanwhile you'll rarely see the same attitudes towards women that may be the same.

Jimmy_bags · 2021-10-24T22:32:29+00:00

Speak for yourself though...bc thats an expectation i can stand by

D0wnVoteMe_PLZ · 2021-10-25T04:39:51+00:00

Is this mentality common in western culture? I'm from a South Asian country called Pakistan. It's a Muslim country and the opposite is true here. We are shamed for talking about it or bring up any sexual contexts.

Nathaniel66 · 2021-10-25T04:53:01+00:00

I saw it, but once i was pretty open i had only 1 women in my life (my wife) people suddenly changed their approach. My bros admitted they are not sex machines/ can't always perform and females friends (yep, i have few) seems to really appreciate it.

My suggestion: stop giving a single f*ck what other people think about you.

WTFOMGBBQ · 2021-10-25T04:53:03+00:00

Whatever your deal is, try to make sure your urges line up with whoever you marry. It’s going to suck real bad if you are off by too much

BowForThanos · 2021-10-25T07:06:09+00:00

It's biological in nature but definelty a social aspect to this that seems to determine our value to men and women

Meulinia · 2021-10-25T10:27:30+00:00

Would you want to be with someone who thinks that way tho? Or have friends who think that way? Just be yourself, don’t surround yourself with toxic ppl who have a mindset like that

JablesRadio · 2021-10-25T10:35:17+00:00

I've had the exact opposite happen to me. I've been asked by friends ds with benefits and one long time girlfriend and when I told them they number they all reeled with a "omg, wow, that's...... a lot.

ElegantDecline · 2021-10-25T10:53:40+00:00

a lot of pointless meaningless sex. if you're not having sex to have kids, just for 'her pleasure' every day, are you even a man? or just a big life-sized walking dildo with little arms and feet?

itchyotcthy · 2021-10-25T10:56:57+00:00

My opinion is that there is a lot of 'expectations' on Human Beings in general and whilst many people may not be personally pushed or have ways of managing this, that doesn't necessarily change the status quo. The push is everywhere in the form of news media, television programme, stereotyping by individuals and said 'media', advertising and maybe other areas I've left out of don't even know about.

Personally I think all these known/unknown expectations are driving a lot of people crazy and hoping for authorities to do something about is not happening or happening quick enough.

I saw this today, I'm not an American, and this shows why things aren't happening quick enough... this guy just avoids the questions. Maybe people think it is not related but I think it is very related. These people are telling Citizens what to do - directly or indirectly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-YpdC4pIYU

Just think Citizens everywhere... this could be going on in your country without you knowing and then you wonder why things aren't changed.

Sure, a person in Power is not directly / immediately responsible for what your neighbour does to you but someone in power should be answering questions better than this.

"In a society that profits from your self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act."

TheGreatMatCauthon · 2021-10-25T11:18:44+00:00

Why the hell do you care what others think? Improve yourself, be the best you can be, and have a lovely relationship with your partner if/once the time comes.

TungstenAlchemist · 2021-10-25T12:18:26+00:00

I’m a virgin at 20 & I’m constantly looked down upon when people ask. Whenever I’m introduced to someone knew at a social occasion & the topic comes up & I inform them I’m still a virgin I get silent looks of shame & pity which they seem to subconsciously show which always pisses me off.

Even my friends in uni who I meet up with when they are back in town have a look of shame to me when I tell them I still haven’t had sex yet. One even suggested hiring a prostitute for my birthday celebrations (prostitution is illegal where I live so he was suggesting I break the law to lose it). I’ve been offered one-night-stands by women at bars & on dating apps but I’ve been saving myself for a proper relationship.

I’ve been trying to get a girlfriend for years by making friends with girls & I just haven’t gotten lucky with my relations ending in rejection & this I haven’t lost it. I had 6 girlfriends before 15 but none since then & It’s obvious that people look down on me for that & consider me a failure socially due to that.

It’s even worse when my employers have asked me about it & judge me for it as if it’s something that should be expected of an employee. I’ve even been asked in job interviews why haven’t I gotten in a relationship in the last 5 years & it’s gotten to the point where I just lie to my seniors so my work reputation isn’t damaged.

I think another big reason is the age of consent is 16 in my country & if you haven’t lost it by 18 you get seen as part of socially inferior collective by society despite by academic & work successes. A lot of women also pride themselves on body count as empowering here & they especially like to go for men who are virgins as they consider it an even greater achievement to ‘steal’ a man’s virginity. I’ve had a friend who is much less successful then me & hasn’t had a girlfriend since 14 who lost his virginity to one of those whores & he’s still not any happier; being more depressed then me & viewing himself as a failure but despite this he’s still treated as socially superior to me cos he’s had sex before with a stranger. It’s ridiculous

SnooPeppers4132 · 2021-10-25T12:32:23+00:00

God bless

day5tar · 2021-10-25T13:14:49+00:00

True. Young people these days use insults to men such as “he gets no pssy/btches” acting as if that’s what a man’s priority should be

rainbow_bro_bot · 2021-10-25T14:19:33+00:00

I think it's even worse now than before for sexually inactive guys.

In the past these men were just seen as "losers", but with the "incel" obsession feminism has now, sexually inactive men are now seen as dangerous or potentially violent. In the vast majority of cases they will just be harmless non-violent men who just aren't getting laid who now have this new stereotype being used against them.

Comprehensive-Mud555 · 2021-10-24T22:17:50+00:00

Well I mean….. 😂

Zeezprahh · 2021-10-25T04:46:15+00:00

Virgin?

Title	Men are expected to be having a lot of sex by both women and other men and are shamed if they don’t and I’m fucking tired of it.
Author	Negative_Jellyfish30
Upvotes	525
Comments	70
Date	October 24, 2021 10:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/qf2jg7/men_are_expected_to_be_having_a_lot_of_sex_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-are-expected-to-be-having-a-lot-of-sex-by-both.1082028 https://theredarchive.com/post/1082028

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