•Break free from the false high of male attention and the male gaze ~Current and former pickmes often have/had this trait deeply embedded in them. They constantly and consistently seek male attention for internal validation. Im one of the guys, I’m not like other girls, I don’t understand women who are like that. 🤬Instead of trying to build true connections with other women and leveling up in their own lives, pickmes seek the easier route of obtaining male attention. In the worst of the worse cases, even attention from a male boss or a friends husband or serious boyfriend will give them the rush they’re looking for. The drive these pickmes have is often coming from a place of deep insecurity, low self esteem, and the misplaced need to seek revenge on a past or present partner. You know who you are!!! Do not hurt other women because you’re hurt! And when you have those tingling feelings from momentary male attention or even stacking up lots of attention from the male gaze 🤢; please FFS remind yourself that all of that attention is worth NOTHING and you will gain NOTHING for it. If anything, you will be feeling and thinking worse when it’s all said and done because that pickme cup can never be filled. If you’ve ever been one of these women or you’re currently like this, work hard at exorcising this mindset from your life. This is a baseline expectation for any FDS woman.

•Stop explaining yourself and your POV to men in the vain hopes they’ll respect you and ultimately change their ways ~A HVM doesn’t need you to help him change his life. He is already the man he wants to be. If a man in your life wants and needs constant explanations from you about how you feel, what you think, what you want; he is likely LV/NV. HVM do want to get to know a woman they’re interested in, slowly…and this is far different than conversations requiring you to explain your stance on xyz. HVM actually LIKE women and respect women naturally, it’s part of their deep unchanging character. They would also not waste their time on a pickme so if you’re not speaking to men that truly like and respect women, you’re wasting your time on LVM and need to stop trying to date PERIOD because you’re too far away from your own goal of being a HVW yourself. This is where FDS requires you to really dig in and do the hard work of facing your own issues and dealing with them.

Edit: I know pickings are slim out there in the wild. But it’s better to be single and alone than partnered and lonely!

•Stop questioning if he likes you OR wondering where you stand ~Ask yourself, do I like him? Is he good enough for me? What will a relationship with him add to my life? ~Am I settling because I’m fearful I’ll end up alone? Am I really experiencing true attraction towards him or am I forcing it, and overlooking some red flags? FDS women set the bar high! There is no settling/compromising/overlooking those red flags. We don’t entertain FWB, casual flings, the let’s see where this goes/I’m open to anything trope. All of that is a waste of time.

•Watch out for your blind spots ~Most of us are self aware and know what our blind spots are. Perhaps men with a sense of humor is or was our weakness. Or maybe we crush on the emotionally downtrodden, the lonely misunderstood guy, or the charismatic guy with straight shiny teeth and that beautiful grin. What’s happening with some FDS women on their level up journeys is they start finally coming out of their haze of toxic lies, confidence is increased, they meet a LVM who has that thing you like…and bam! You’re here posting about your relapse. 😢 FDS is a community of women who support each other and lift each other up. But this does not absolve us of recognizing our blind spots in the men and women we invite into our lives who may or may not add value….Put in the work!! Vet ruthlessly! This is key to knowing your worth and establishing/maintaining serious boundaries.

•You will face rejection from HVW around you if you’re not truly a HVW yourself ~Ouch right? I know some FDS women are super busy living their lives and we come from all walks of life…some of us are in true time crunches and cannot socialize much. That being said, if you find yourself unable to EVER connect with HVW, consistently..it could indicate that HVW are ignoring you because you’re not one yourself yet. At some point, you should be able to meet/foster/maintain relationships in your life with other HVW. Do not delude yourself with excuses. Im busy (yet you have a roster of LVM you talk to on OLD). I’m an introvert (but you game a lot and entertain F bois online). FDS encourages us to have other HVW in our lives. It takes time, energy, and motivation. All the assets you use to pour into the chumps you were fawning over. Work on this and don’t make excuses.

•Final tip! Remember: If he wanted to, he would ~Write it in your journal, put it on a whiteboard, repeat it in your head.