So I was at the grocery isle yesterday and picked up a copy of Vanity Fair. I was all excited to share this new strategy with you girls.

The plan was to have images of men I admire strategically placed in my apartment. When I start dating soon, and eventually invite a guy over after knowing him well- it would be good for him and my friends to get signals about what sort of men I admire and am attracted to. I already have Obama’s book displayed in my bookshelf.

So I was glad to see the gorgeous muscly face of Dwayne the Rock Johnson on the cover of Vanity Fair. #Wholesome

I picked it up to have in my coffee table. I love his interviews, the ways he parents, and his TV show. But most of all- I love how he intimidates other men. Also, my ex looks like him and looks up to him.

So I get home all happy with my great idea, and watch one of his recent interviews, and-wham— he’s talking about how he pees into bottles.

I honestly cannot.

There’s no excuse! He lies and plays it off talking about how his grimy gyms don’t have bathrooms. Honey, you live in LA.

What is wrong with men??

So that’s my funny/tragic story.