What should I say in my first message to a girl on Tinder?

Frigzy · 2016-07-21T17:29:49+00:00

What I have learned is to ask easy questions.

By easy, I mean clear, simply and precise. There should be no effort required to pull the answer from her reality or feelings and reply it.

Additionally, try to prevent dead end questions where elaboration is pointless.

Good examples:

"What's your favorite drink?" - This is a reality. There's nothing for her to think twice about or worry about phrasing.

"Do you prefer bars over clubs?" Personal preference. This is a good example of a non dead end question. It's a simple answer, but she will be tempted to elaborate.

"Do you get along well with your siblings?" Straightforward emotion.

Bad examples: "I think you're a really cool girl. Do you think we could see eachother some time?" First off, it's needy as fuck. There's nothing wrong with asking someone out, but keep it as specific and direct as possible. Secondly, there's way too many factors for her on incorporate in her thinking process to formulate an answer: are you worth it, what are we going to do, do I have time, do I know he's not going to waste mine, ...

"Do you like dancing?" Clear and concise, BUT. This is a dead end question. Avoid this shit. It puts you in a position you can not get out without projecting neediness. (You will need to re establish the conversation from a dead end.) A better question would be: "What makes dancing so special for you?"

Summary: treat her as someone who will shut down interaction the second responding to you takes any significant mental effort whatsoever.

OPENERS: I always have a couple of back ups on my sleeve to either open or keep the conversation going.

"What is X looking for on tinder?" "So who pushed you into installing this degenerate app?" "How come you're still single?"

With openers, I always ask the question first and follow up with a new message usually saying something along the lines of "Hi by the way". This forces her to open up the convo by spiking her interest. She knows it isn't the only thing I'm contacting her for, but she doesn't know the rest yet.

That's all I got...

HelloImRIGHT · 2016-07-21T16:16:51+00:00

First of all if someone messages you on tinder. Do you care what they say?

Here is what they say and what you think

hey - is she attractive

whatsup - is she attractive

coffee? - is she attractive

hobbies? - is she attractive

it seriously doesnt matter. obviously dont be a dumb ass. set up coffee or whatever if her answer is yes you're good if no give it up

trpthroway123 · 2016-07-21T16:38:08+00:00

Say anything, they'll answer if they're interested and ignore otherwise.

"Hey" or "hey whats up" are about all I bother with, unless there's something in their picture begging for a comment.

RedditAdminsSuck_88 · 2016-07-21T16:05:43+00:00

You are having no luck because you think it makes a lick of difference what you say to open up girls on Tinder.

Realize that you can only talk yourself out of attraction, not into it. So, less is more. Keep it as short and direct as possible with no bullshit filler.

What you say is all about limiting risk, not improving your chances.

[deleted] · 2016-07-21T16:23:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AlphaManliness · 2016-07-21T16:45:17+00:00

Fuck me if I am wrong but your name is Gina, right ?

jb_trp · 2016-07-21T16:15:32+00:00

First of all, make sure your pics show a high SMV. A girl should be able to tell you're fit and interesting. I'm a rock climber, so I have pics of me doing that, and also a couple going out and being social. If you don't have a very high SMV then Tinder will be shit.

Don't say too much or try to hard. It comes off as thirsty and desperate. Make a comment (not a compliment) about one of her pictures and/or things she mentioned about herself in her profile and ask her a question (e.g. "So many hiking pictures. What lake is that?" "You like IPAs? What's your favorite?"). This makes it easy for her to respond.

After that you just have to have good game. Get her number and schedule a meetup within a few days.

Title	What should I say in my first message to a girl on Tinder?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	27
Date	July 21, 2016 3:51 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4txnjj/what_should_i_say_in_my_first_message_to_a_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-should-i-say-in-my-first-message-to-a-girl-on.108662 https://theredarchive.com/post/108662

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