Should we create a real checklist for men just getting into the thick of it?

Bipolar_investor · 2021-12-01T02:29:07+00:00

Number 1: When she asks for divorce, give it to her don't fuck around. Even when you have kids together.

Number 2: establish asap the separation date

Number 3: Lawyers are going to fuck you financially, but at least the dude got a dick. Hurts way more to be fucked in the add by a dick less ex-wife, whose only lube is sand filled (specially designed to hurt you).

Number 4: Keep a schedule of custody, do record all the time your kids spend with you, and bring that to court.

Number 5 : Do not trust her family to support you, (nor yours btw), you're on your own to take care of yourself and the kids best interest.

Number 6: Take care of yourself, from the moment she decided to bail on you, you're free to start not caring about her (no matter what she says) she planned it long before you heard it.

Number 7: Define boundaries, do not let her disrespect or threaten you. If she does call the cops on her. Because she will do it on you.

Number 8: Stay cool in court. The judge doesn't care about the marriage he only cares about the kids care continuation plan.

Number 9 : if she's a housewife, you're fucked, get that bitch to work if you can asap.

Number 10: from the moment separation is pronounced, any money you give her is gone, it doesn't matter. You're an idiot for paying her money she doesn't deserve to get from you without a court order.

Number 11: The system is rigged against men, prepare for it to hurt, but stand tall and do not show any signs of weakness or aggressiveness.

I'll add if i think of something.

Disclaimer : this is what I learned from my own experience, it doesn't mean it's a one size fits all. Take what you feel will be helpful to you.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-12-01T01:19:00+00:00

What you're looking for already exists. Just not here. forum.mensdivorce.com has been around for 20 years -- it's a community of men helping other men through and after divorce. No legal advice, just tactics and strategies. I regularly link to sticked threads there.

AlbumSixForever · 2021-12-01T02:41:35+00:00

I’m less than a week into it and still haven’t met with a lawyer. In Texas my wife has already contacted landlord to evict me. This forum has been so helpful and I’m grateful for you all.

thefudmaster · 2021-12-01T04:29:37+00:00

Mensdivorce.com is a great resource. Your lawyer, if selected well, is a great resource. The support group of men who have been through it with you, are the best resource.

hadrianviceroy · 2021-12-01T00:50:01+00:00

Yeah I think a sticky checklist would be great

elduderino197 · 2021-12-01T01:58:12+00:00

Yes please! And sticky it please!

InAJam_SoS · 2021-12-03T02:22:36+00:00

This is a good idea and I'd like to add to the list if you're putting one together.

Be transparent about how the court is treating you. Post on FB, Twitter, YT, etc... DO NOT post about the ex, kids or relationship matters. ONLY what the court does. We need sunshine inside this family court system that allows and encourages the behaviors that put most fathers in the situations you read about. Maybe a mother of a son will see it, maybe a grandmother of a son grandchild will see what the court is doing. That is who we have to appeal to.
There needs to be more focus on the civil rights aspect. The family court system works outside the law and the Constitution complete with unchecked judicial powers, no burden of proof, and it's a 60+ billion $ industry and ALL lawyers and judges are in on it. Including the ones fathers/men hire for themselves. Really, they are all co-workers at the office. The Palmers are a good resource for the constitutionality of the process: https://fixfamilycourts.com/
Here's a good summary of the WHAT to expect and the WHY it is like it is: What, How & Why
Of course, the all helpful, earlier mentioned: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/
Every father/man going through the process should do some sort of activism to expose what's going on in the corrupt system. I've found that doing things for the cause has actually been therapeutic. We are abused by this process on top of the abuse we've endured over the last period of the marriage. By the time fathers realize what's happened and happening they are neck deep, emotionally tired, and broke while having to be the worker bee and pay to be abused. Doing activities toward reform give a small sense of control. Our kids deserve it and the future children, fathers/men of the marriage trap deserve the system to be exposed and changed.
"Best Interest of the Child" is a fluffy feel good saying the courts and attorneys use to hide behind to tear children away from parents. There is no mandate for judges to be required max shared parenting time with each parent as a starting point. It's a farce and a rouse.
Don't portray it as just a 'Men's/Father's Rights' issue when you speak to others about it. Although it's true that it mostly is, we should use language like 'parents' and children's rights. It'd be very helpful to have Progressive Feminists in our corner and the average person is turned off and won't listen if we scream "Father's Rights!". Mother culture has trained everyone to think fathers can't raise children and can only work and be ATM machines.

Let us know if you put this list together and if you have or need any more ideas. There're so many fathers/men groups but they are scattered, splintered, and tired. There needs to be a meeting of ALL of these groups because there's strength in numbers. I have more resources, so please let me know if there's a master list somewhere I can add to. Great idea and thanks for mentioning it!

Title	Should we create a real checklist for men just getting into the thick of it?
Author	Mountain-Jackfruit-9
Upvotes	20
Comments	7
Date	December 1, 2021 12:27 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/r61qjs/should_we_create_a_real_checklist_for_men_just/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/should-we-create-a-real-checklist-for-men-just.1089417 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089417

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