Self Inflicted dread

ragnar_Daneskjold · 2021-12-27T19:00:04+00:00

You weighed 189#'s over a month ago and you say you're working out a ton. Are you getting in shape or just using your workouts to cope with lots of emotional eating?

Also,

(and yest it's mine, we live in a secluded rural area

I spent thanksgiving in an extremely small (pop 1,000) secluded rocky mountain resort town. On thanksgiving day I went for a run that lasted longer than I expected (I planned on 3mi and went 13). My wife was calling and texting a bunch and I was ignoring it all because it was 18 degrees out AND it was the most spectacular running experience I've ever had, I didn't want to interrupt it.

When I got back she railed on me, asked if I met someone and cheated on her out in the woods. I laughed at this because I had only been in this town for a day and again, it was 18 degrees out. I didn't think this was realistic thing to be accused of but she wasn't laughing. She was crying and really upset. And when you have the kind of sexual options and abundance that your wife or my wife has, this kind of sexual meetup is completely possible.

I can tell reading your last OYS that you're trying hard to convince yourself it's not possible but you know better. As much as that sucks you're going to need to just get over the fact that it is possible. Everything you've written about above is also just stuff that sucks that you'll need to get over 'if' you ever want to get to a better place. All of the time and energy you're spending on these topics would better serve you if you shifted that focus onto eating raw vegetables and lean protein until you feel like you're going to explode.

PutABabyInThat · 2021-12-27T23:57:58+00:00

This isn't dread, it's just more disgust.

Try for a second to imagine living with someone so unattractive that you can't even think about fucking them. Maybe a real whale... 600lbs, smells like salt and vinegar chips and shit, facial hair, can't remember the last time she bathed. Gets angry at you because you won't fuck her but thinks you owe it to her. Won't work on herself because [every excuse in the book].

Every single one of your ex's looks a million times better compared to this person. And they're all down to fuck, but you haven't taken them up on it because of guilt or whatever.

Then you catch her talking to some guy.

That's what this is.

sicrm · 2021-12-27T18:27:36+00:00

“I don’t care anymore I WILL cheat on you”

the bigger issue is that’s how she really feels about you.

if it took was some logistical texts for her to say that, you have a lot of work to do and some decisions to make.

thisisme0007 · 2021-12-27T19:52:17+00:00

The absolute most favorable interpretation of this is that your wife was jealous / had some competition anxiety and she reacted poorly by saying “I don’t care anymore I WILL cheat on you.”

However there are a lot of other things that could be going on here, all much less favorable than the interpretation you settled on. Like kid not yours, pregnancy faked, cheating happening while you're at work despite you thinking there is no way, wife's light switch flipped off, you're unattractive, etc...

If I were you I would start to consider some of those less favorable possibilities and prepare for/act on them.

SBIII · 2021-12-30T21:51:22+00:00

she ends up getting pregnant a few weeks after this incident (and yes it’s mine, we live in a secluded rural area so there’s nobody she could have slept with)

LOL

Praexology · 2021-12-27T20:19:55+00:00

Do I feel bad just a bit cuz she was playing it off like she’s a loyal and dutiful wife but I am just angry at her hypocrisy and lack of acknowledgment of her own short comings.

Expecting this is a good way to be chronically dissatisfied with your life. It will never come, and when it does you wont want, need, or accept it anyway.

(I think I should have been playful rather than defensive)

What outcome do you want? Is getting some semblance of self respect back because youre still with a woman who openly acknowledges her willingness to cheat on you.

HornsOfApathy · 2021-12-27T17:50:50+00:00

"Hur Hur Hur... I texted a 18yo non-sexually and my wife found out! Look at her now!"

Do you realize how retarded and unattractive you are?

oobertas · 2021-12-27T17:51:43+00:00

Wife might be projecting about her own desire for strange. People with enormous egos, especially women, are easily triggered at the slightest hint that someone else is doing what they themselves are doing but outwardly would say they'd "never do."

None of it matters. If you like your wife and if you are owning your shit, you should be able to tell her to knock off the bullshit with the ex without mate guarding and, when she hamsters about your communications with other women, you should be able to turn that dread into desire. The hamster is on your team.

In other words, an HVM can maintain a "double-standard" here that she'll happily enjoy. An HVM won't let this "we both get to do the same things" or "fairness" shit cloud the issue. An HVM has boundaries and standards for his FO. The FO's boundaries and standards don't move or budge the HVM's.

SelectAirline · 2021-12-29T02:33:41+00:00

You spent the better part of 2 paragraphs DEERing to a bunch of strangers on the internet about this 18 year old. I can only imagine how bad it was in person...

She just dreaded herself

That's not how dread works. I really don't even like the term because it's so commonly misused, but if you insist on sticking to the lingo, don't think of it in terms of "I'm going to instill dread in that woman," but instead "I'm the type of man that any woman would dread losing."

ReddJive · 2021-12-28T21:55:01+00:00

This is a good example.

OP has presented us a story that was designed to show how he has leveled up. Notice how this is a beta dressing it up as a comfort test. Furthermore he tries to pass it off how dread is working and....viola! She did it to herself. Not how it works, but ok.

What really has occurred is that OP has shown us and example of how ego plays in a man's mind.

Just wanted to share this mornings shit/comfort test for further wisdom from more experienced MRP members.

Not what he wanted because he got that advice and is firing back to protect his ego and his interpretation of events. the real example other men should take from this situation is this is what happens when you let things go and are just going through the motions of Red Pill. How when you aren't attractive to your wife, to other woman, and with no abundance mindset nor Frame; you still scramble for every piece of validation you can from women.

his wife "dreading" herself
Some 18YO client whom he has disguised as a plate

Remember guys, your ego is an obstacle that must be overcome if you have any desire to grow and move on. It's a wall that prevents learning, and an excuse to ignore thoughts worth hearing. So, either get the fuck over yourself, or get comfortable with a stubborn and stupid version of yourself.

Kevlar__Soul · 2021-12-28T19:34:15+00:00

Not sure why when you discovered the texts with her ex you didn’t shut that shit down? I don’t see any value letting something like that slide.

I would also research the changes you need to make to your approach when dealing with a pregnant women. My understanding is when pregnant she stop wanting as much alpha and lean way more to beta traits.

adeptintact · 2022-01-04T04:26:08+00:00

So she texts her ex sexual stuff and a few weeks later she's pregnant? No matter how much you hamster that is your child, logically there's a chance it's not. She obviously cheated on you with her ex.

I'd get the child paternity tested to confirm.

SonnyRue · 2021-12-27T22:17:07+00:00

shoulda fucked her hard for being territorial over her man

Title	Self Inflicted dread
Author	NicestGuyIKnow
Upvotes	14
Comments	38
Date	December 27, 2021 5:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/rpshh7/self_inflicted_dread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/self-inflicted-dread.1090380 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090380

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