Most of the female friends that I thought I'd made have turned out to be wanting something and checking to see if I was that thing, or had that thing.

Later on, if they found another guy who was or had that thing...... -poof-....... they were gone.

"Well, they weren't really your friend, then."

Duh, dingus. That's the point. As a whole, I find that most relationships (to include friendships) are utilitarian at their core. Romantic relationships have the added effect of involving feelings that create a bond which holds the two together for some time (just long enough to maybe reproduce and have children).

People pair up with others for a variety of reasons, like increasing their own sexual/genetic fitness, acquiring things that they wouldn't have been able to get on their own, and to avoid the feelings of loneliness. Those are all of the components of what makes up a relationship.

Now, it's been said before that men and women can't be friends, and while I'm inclined to somewhat agree, I'd say that it's just more difficult for men and women to be legitimate friends in the sense of the word not listed, which would be the deeper/"true" aspect of what people consider "a friend."

I've seen women express that dudes try to befriend women because they tryna fuck, and think that men don't value female friendship apart from that. Well, women aren't really any different. Women hold onto and keep men as "friends" when they've been placed in the running for "potential boyfriend and future husband." Women also keep male "friends" around for utilitarian needs like added protection/feelings of security and other perks. Some men end up becoming confused by this ("does she like me or is she just leading me on to keep me around to satisfy her own selfish needs?"). The only time it seems like either sex can keep opposite sex friends around is when they are already getting their needs met from another person, like a romantic partner or spouse, and there's still some doubt as to whether they're actually "friends" there.

I've had a tiny amount of actual female friends who have drifted away over the years - currently still have one - but I wanted to ask about everyone else's experience with your opposite sex friends. Does it mirror what I've said in this post so far? Does it differ?

Discuss.