Personal Intro: My first post here...did a lot of reading prior to writing this. Looking for some advice...I realize I'm kind of combining two issues here so let's just analyze whether this was a shit test and what should have been done about it.

 

Quick Bio/Background: I'm 33 dating a very strong, confident/dominant 35yr old woman. She is a boss in her own life, in every way, has high social success, a great professional network, and is successful in her life. I have kids, don't want any more. She don't, wants some but willing to sacrifice. We've been dating a little over a year and live together.

She is an alpha in her circle and seems to have an immediate authority when she walks into a room. It's very attractive! She mentors women and they love getting her advice (help their confidence but borderline feminist).

 

Story: So we're at her friend's place getting smashed on wine with a new group of people and around the 3hr mark, we're all sitting at the dining room. I'm engaged in conversation with this female and she kind of shows interest (not flirty but very engaging in conversation). My woman comes and sits with us and all the sudden she changes and starts really admiring my gf, saying how she's almost crushing on her and how she's such a boss, then asks my gf, "why are you with him? It doesn't make sense." She goes on and on..."what about my brother, do you like him? He wants kids, you should date him", etc. She started interrogating our relationship to my gf, right in front of my face!

When I try to talk, the girl is like, "no no, hush"...I kind of take it lightly since she is very comical most of the time but once she started bringing up the kid situation, I felt very uncomfortable and had to get up (bio break).

 

Aftermath: Later on my gf brought it up to me and said she was surprised I let her go on. My gf handled it well enough but later revealed she was mad at me for walking away when it got to the touchy topic of kids.

 

Extra tidbit: Around midnight we're all smashed, my girl wants to leave and asks how we're getting home. I'm like, I don't know babe, I'm still drinking so let's figure it out tomorrow. She lightly backhands me and starts talking shit to everyone saying I'm a lush, etc. and complains later that my response wasn't chivalrous.

 

Reflecting:

  • Looking back, I'm very pissed! After reading this article I realize I should have done #6
  • In addition, the smack from my gf is also getting under my skin and I'm looking to change things...
  • It's going to be hard to flip the script now that we've been together for a while. What's weird is, I kind of switch from Beta to Alpha and back regularly (Gemini).

 

My Own Evaluation:

  • That chick was a) testing me, and b) seeking approval from my gf that she can be a boss too and has control/frame

 

Next steps:

  • Read more and more articles on TRP
  • Become more masculine - hitting the gym (testosterone boosts!); this will give me more confidence
  • Don't bring it up to my gf, it may seem petty to cry about it now or to try and win arguments in my head for my own ego