My mom is extremely neurotic and toxic. She is an all around negative Nancy and has no filter in polite social situations. She brings up divisive political topics around company like "The government should take away all the guns" and openly complains about taking care of my disabled father (dementia) to anyone with ears.

My boyfriend comes from a wealthy conservative farming family and I think dreads planning a wedding knowing that they might need to meet my dysfunctional parents. I think he is holding off on proposing and it is largely because of this. We are also both very introverted and not really into planning social events.

I am not fond of our two families meeting either. The difference between them is night and day and is bound to cause drama that reflects poorly on me.

My parents have a filthy house that smells like dog pee, have no friends/extended family wants nothing to do with them, have unaddressed mental health issues, and rely on government assistance to get by. My boyfriend's parents have two beautiful homes, have a healthy relationship with extended family, and run a profitable farm.

My boyfriend and I live together (which is also a secret from his very religious family). He's been talking about bringing me more around his family and planning a trip to see his parents at their vacation home. He must be aware that as a 31 year old whose younger brothers are both married with children, the family is bound to expect engagement between us soon. He's not dumb.

He's been hinting more at marriage , saying he wants to be with me always and claim me for himself. He occasionally calls my parents in-laws and we have been managing our finances jointly for a year with great success. The only thing missing is the ring.

I know what is likely coming down the pipe but I hate surprises and want to move things along without being abrasive about it. Knowing him, wedding planning is bound to be something he is completely disinterested in and the managing of my toxic family is one big concern, as is mine.

Should we just elope? Do we have a small get together and just cross my fingers my mom doesn't embarrass me in front of everyone on my wedding day?