Here’s what happened:

My partner usually calls me at night to talk, this is routine and easier that it’s her that calls me because her work hours are different and she doesn’t live with me.

One night I don’t get a call, the next day she is upset at me for not calling her. I don’t ever call her anyway, but she is upset.

She says “why didn’t you call me?” and “I was waiting for you to call me”.

Another time, I forgot to make her a drink in the kitchen, she gets upset at me about it. My reaction was ignore her, she became even more upset, I refuse to DEER. Had a moment of weakness and allowed the situation to escalate to and argument. She begins telling me I never do anything for her.

I’ve read my MRP sidebar, but I don’t understand what the appropriate responses are. My default is to STFU and make sure I don’t DEER, but that makes the situation worse.

Do these sound like comfort tests or shit tests, or something else.