what it's like to have a red pill man or be married to one

WannaBeA_Vata · 2022-02-26T16:16:41+00:00

After a few years, you totally shut off your emotions, so while it's happening it doesn't feel like anything. When I left him, that was a blessing. I had not bonded with him for years. I had not consented to anything physical for years- which is not to say he respected that boundary. It made me totally cold to him, in a way I have never experienced toward anyone else.

It also made me respond to feeling s_xually vulnerable with eating disordered behaviors. Last summer (a year and a half ago) I caught a neighbor looking into my yard to watch me tan in a bathing suit, and my weight has fluxuated by more than 3 pounds per week ever since, gaining 90 lbs and then losing 114 lbs and gaining back 10. Total chaos and obviously horrible for my body.

I never cried over the divorce. Not once, in the 13 years since I left him. Learning how to trust people again is a real struggle, and one so deeply carved that I suspect I'll take it to my grave. Not that my ex would care about that; I have no doubt that harming me would be a badge of honor for him.

Fufi44 · 2022-02-26T22:39:27+00:00

Basically just go to any site where abused women tell their stories. Most red pillers are abusive pieces of shit. A lot of people don’t make the connection, but DV stems mostly from extremely sexist beliefs about women.

PostMoFoSho · 2022-02-27T06:48:22+00:00

I dated a red pill dude for about 2 years. Long story, special circumstances, I don't think I would have dated him except that we were both living in a place where very few people spoke English as a first language. I was very alone and vulnerable in a foreign country. My best friend went home and he was all I had left in terms of social support.

Anyway, dating him was super confusing and it sucked. He made it a point to try to show me that I wasn't special or important. He wouldn't meet any of my (awesome!) friends when they came into town (I think he was scared they wouldn't like him, and he always had to have the upper hand, so he wouldn't put himself into intimidating situations). He was super sensitive about my friendships with other men (he's the reason I tell any guy I date that I will never give up my male friends). He seemed to keep a tally of everything in his head, seemed on pins and needles and anxious all the time, absolutely would not relax into the joy and fun and comfort of a relationship. I suspect he may have had a "red pill guru" that he talked to on skype to get advice about how to deal with me. When I called him out on his weird behavior (basically explicitly spelling out his red pill tactics) he would be totally deer in the headlights at first, then, the next time I saw him, he would have perfect, smooth responses to everything.

Mindfuck from start to finish. It was toxic for both of us.

Saint_Hacker · 2022-02-26T13:45:32+00:00

I have a red pilled friend who is married. He told me he persuaded his wife to stay at home to look after their kids. But he has one boy who is almost 10 so clearly the idea is to keep her out of a job and hence dependence on him.

Try as I may I don't see how RP thinking can coexist with the concept of marriage

Katinka78 · 2022-02-28T09:09:53+00:00

Exhausting. Could only do it for 2,5 months before I bailed out. Not because of hypergamy, but simply because losing respect completely.

He and I knew that he was insecure, anxious, fretful and validation+attention hungry. He wished he could internalize the 'abundance mentality', but we both know he could' never. Not in a million years. Demanding submission from partner because he knows no one will give him that willingly.

It just felt like pitying a lost, anxious puppy at some point, rather than dating.

2022-02-28T03:45:39+00:00

Dating a redpill female was a nightmare and pure abuse although im not sure if it was trp that made her that way or her disorder that caused the abuse but in the end it was horendous and will never do it again

2022-02-28T05:45:17+00:00

Long story short, I ended up suicidal and hating myself thanks to his abuse.

Naus1987 · 2022-02-26T17:49:37+00:00

Red pill is such a wide group of people. It’s like feminism. There’s lot of women who are feminists and are married. And lots of men-hating feminist who aren’t married and refuse to.

Red pill can be like that. It can be anything from men who hate women to men who acknowledge that the statistical truths behind relationships. I’ve been called red pill for even saying divorces can happen and you should prenup.

And then there’s men going their own way which somehow is called red pill, even though it’s basically not playing the game at all. I mean Gandalf went his own way, and no one calls him a red pill.

pyrotechnic-looter · 2022-02-28T20:46:10+00:00

I am dating a guy who discovered the “red pill” while we were dating, it seems. Or possibly before (he divorced about a year prior to us dating) but at any rate when he started binging on it, it was about 6 or 8 months in to “us”…. And it was glaringly obvious. His personality and behavior changed drastically. He went from being like the most beautiful dream to like a nightmare over night.

Thankfully he eased off of it for a while and started to become more like himself again- but still watches some of the video influencers when im not around.

Im not against the parts of it that talk about staying fit and healthy and about not losing yourself in a relationship…. But the issue is not the sensible parts of it- its that some of the things that came out durjng our difficult spell about a year back are straight out of that 33 secrets crap. Also that he has begun quoting the ideals almost the way a person from a cult church quotes scripture. And the idea of “hypergamy”. Im unsure he truly understands that it means more than “marrying up”, that it means moving up in in social caste or rank- so when he says “all the girls are like that”- he is implying that being male innately puts someone in a higher caste or class.

Ive set aside all make friendships for now- hoping it would make him learn to trust me…. Of course there is still no trust.

Its sad. Also that he vows to never ever ever marry again. That sort of ruins it for me. I do support people doing a prenup. His lawyer suggested that too, when he got divorced. He chooses now though, to only listen to the (untruthful) sources that say those wont hold up in court…. Again, no trust.

I want to cry as I write this. I love him- its not all this bs, mostly he is a great person… just that this facet of him seems to be growing stronger.

Those of the guys who “quit” this red pill crap? What made you leave it?

I am feeling that me leaving may likely not be a catalyst for change here- but if i stay it will not get any better.

Title	what it's like to have a red pill man or be married to one
Author	OrganizationFar1943
Upvotes	8
Comments	22
Date	February 26, 2022 1:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/t1xd7f/what_its_like_to_have_a_red_pill_man_or_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-its-like-to-have-a-red-pill-man-or-be-married.1102820 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102820

Comments