When I wake up, I find my husband is sleeping on the sofa

_Ding · 2022-03-17T07:14:51+00:00

I’m the same. My SO sleeps much earlier than I do and always requests me to lay next to her whilst she falls asleep. I don’t like laying down when I’m wide awake too so I get back up once she’s asleep. She usually wakes up 1/2 times and in a very moody/ ‘feeling abandoned’ state. I then return to bed and rinse and repeat lol. I think it’s quite a common feeling for you to have. Just understand it’s quite easy to accidentally pass out whilst sitting/ laying on a comfy couch.

FleetingWish · 2022-03-17T15:34:21+00:00

He can't sleep. I understand that you want to sleep with him, but that doesn't matter, he needs to be able to sleep. His health is much more important than that. Going without sleep long term can make you very sick, ask me how I know.

You can try the tricks other people mentioned, but when you end up finding him still going the couch, maybe then you'll realize he can't sleep with you in the room. Get him his own bed and his own room.

My SO and I have been together for 10 years and have never shared a bedroom, trust me when I say it has had zero impact on our relationship.

girlwithasidecar · 2022-03-18T02:06:09+00:00

My husband likes the sofa because it helps his back. He sleeps in bed sometimes and on the couch for stretches when he feels he needs it.

When I was pregnant we slept apart more often than not.

Don't overthink this. It is only a big deal if you make it into one. Let the man be comfortable. He like you better if he is well rested.

hedonismftw · 2022-03-17T07:44:43+00:00

It sounds like his sleep patterns aren't great (I say while wide awake in the middle of the night, myself!). I'd check the usual things - reduce caffeine/ alcohol intake, don't eat too close to bedtime, exercise to tire him out, maybe some supplements like Melatonin. You could also verify he finds the bed comfy, and adjust if needed.

renfyinthedark · 2022-03-17T12:06:49+00:00

Sounds more like his sleeping is an issue. May be a good idea to make your bedroom more sleep friendly, like no electronics, manage the temperature etc. Also helps to get into a sleep routine if he doesn't work shifts. With him moving to the sofa specifically I feel like it might be a temperature or mattress issue.

Advanced_Bar_673 · 2022-03-17T16:30:35+00:00

You both can try eating carbs or having warm milk before bed, use a sleep mask, white noise or a fan, or cool the bedroom temperature to see if it makes the environment better for sleep.

Maybe tell him you'd love it if he would cuddle till you fall asleep, or return to bed an hour before you each have to wake up so you can feel his wonderful man warmth beside you. Make a point to enjoy coffee in bed together in the morning, followed by morning sex ;)

HappilyMrs · 2022-03-18T11:27:28+00:00

If everything else is good (communication, affection, sex, no concerns re:infidelity), let him sleep wherever he needs to.

Have you sat down and had a non-emotional conversation? Instead of "If you do X, Y will happen to us", which massively puts more pressure on him, express it as "I would love it if we could both sleep in the same bed, how can I help that happen?"

BumbleBitny · 2022-03-19T13:03:17+00:00

I'd be more concerned about his not getting an ample amount of good sleep from sleeping on the sofa. I had to take a real hard look at how sleep impacts my life and that led me to looking into how sleep affects your body. Poor quality sleep affects literally every aspect of your life. Mentally, physically, even emotionally. I had no idea how many of my problems (particularly emotionally) were from poor sleep.

Title	When I wake up, I find my husband is sleeping on the sofa
Author	DelicateFlower14
Upvotes	7
Comments	13
Date	March 17, 2022 7:05 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/tg49nj/when_i_wake_up_i_find_my_husband_is_sleeping_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/when-i-wake-up-i-find-my-husband-is-sleeping-on.1107159 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107159

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