How do I implement No more Mr nice guy mentality and get rid of nice guy behaviors?

midlifedick · 2016-09-16T10:34:59+00:00

Eliminate covert contracts.

Either let go of your expectations or make them explicit.

Step one is to begin identifying yours, then start eliminating them. You'll find them in unexpected places, like merging on the freeway, holding a door open... places completely unrelated to simply trying to listen and understand your way into some chicks pants.

I_Crepe_Bitches · 2016-09-16T13:49:42+00:00

Start saying no

plasticslug · 2016-09-16T14:09:53+00:00

Every time you get that tingle in your gut to do something nice, and in your head you will are thinking (oh they will really like me for this...) immediately squash it, kill it with fire etc...

You will find your actions will not have really been that important and would have only given short term gains at your expense of time, energy, money etc

Just lay back and go low key

theWolfeman88 · 2016-09-16T10:06:33+00:00

To me, nice guy = needy, so abundance mentality is a good start. Also realize that the one who cares less in a relationship has the power shifted in their favor.

"Nice guy" is such a vague term nowadays, and means anything but "pleasant male."

TRPdating · 2016-09-16T14:47:09+00:00

The TL;DR I got from the book was two things:

1) No covert contracts. Don't say "I love you" expecting that they respond in kind.

2) Don't wank or fuck using porn or fantasy, and without the goal of orgasm. Fucking is about the moment, insert "it's about the path not the destination" quote here.

MickDash · 2016-09-16T11:31:42+00:00

Be genuinely nice - as opposed to fake nice: nice when you want something only to get what you want - my opinion

BusterVadge · 2016-09-16T12:19:38+00:00

The book tells you exactly how to do that better than we could here in limited space. Just keep practicing the exercises and re-read the book if the spirit of the book is not obvious to you yet.

verily_rp · 2016-09-16T13:53:26+00:00

By being selfish. Having standards. And pretending that she's a guy, with a pussy, and who like to be dominated.

Girls are not magical, and they're not special snowflakes either. Don't treat them as such.

the_red_monk · 2016-09-16T15:19:30+00:00

For me the biggest takeaway was just learning to say "no."

For a while after that if anything was asked of me that I didn't want to do or wasn't interested in from friends and family I just said no. Sometimes they were upset, but I had to stand my ground.

Ratcheta · 2016-09-16T19:48:37+00:00

I'm going to go with a couple other people here and say start with saying "no."

That helped me out a lot. It starts to get you into a more self-thinking mindset. I had so much trouble saying no before I started thinking for myself. Now it is close to second nature.

And that was just the issue: I never thought for myself at all while I always thought of others.

Granted, I still care greatly for others, but it's because I want to, not because I think they will reward me.

DenyinTheHolocaust · 2016-09-16T20:17:50+00:00

Change/adjust your religion and politics. That's what's at your core. If you only change your "personality" you'll be totally transparent - and you'll feel weird.

deci-mator · 2016-09-16T20:28:27+00:00

You must understand that when you try to change your source code. Other programs in the system will work and fight tooth and nail in order to debug you. With a change like this, it cannot be sudden. It must be implemented in phases, over a period of time. For example if you were always a guy available with the snap of a girls fingers. Make yourself unavailable . Say No, even when you can say yes. But take this in different stages. Don't just come out and be a dick head. Yet you used to suck her toes. It will not be authentic , but when done over a period of time. It becomes their new perception of you.

Title	How do I implement No more Mr nice guy mentality and get rid of nice guy behaviors?
Author	aussiehere_ArmaniG
Upvotes	10
Comments	13
Date	September 16, 2016 9:42 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5314h8/how_do_i_implement_no_more_mr_nice_guy_mentality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-implement-no-more-mr-nice-guy-mentality.111393 https://theredarchive.com/post/111393

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