I (31F) have been dating a wonderful man (42M) for 4 months. He is divorced, no kids. He works hard, has a great career, kind to everyone he encounters, charismatic and confident, we share hobbies. He is honest and loyal to his core. He craves being a dedicated husband and father more than anything. He’s everything practical in a man I seek.

The problem is in our love languages. I respect the viewpoints of followers here so am looking for advice.

His primary love language is acts of service and that’s really the only one. He will do things frequently that make my life a bit easier, often thinking ahead of me. And I know he would do this wonderfully for a family and his future children. But the problem is, he does this for everyone in his life, not just me, his intimate partner.

I am specifically not receiving affirmation and physical touch outside of the bedroom. I know he’s insanely attracted to me, but he shows touch solely in the bedroom. I crave touch in subtle, non sexual ways. I’ve brought it up directly at times, and he will try for a day or two, but it’s not natural and it doesn’t last. I find myself becoming despondent and lonely, despite loving him deeply. I’ve dug deep enough to understand his upbringing lacked affection completely from his mother who raised him alone. And his previous marriage was loveless and they were rarely intimate.

But, how do I respond and handle my unmet needs of physical touch and affirmation in a kind way? Is this something that can really change in an older man?