Online dating

Naus1987 · 2022-07-24T16:26:24+00:00

The best way to meet people organically is to have hobbies that exist in public spaces with other people.

If you play board games — visit a local game store that hosts gaming events.

If you like anime, see if there’s local viewing groups. Get involved in forums. Socialize.

If you’re into sewing, check out Facebook groups. Get out there and mingle. Show off your work. Compliment the work of others.

If you ride bikes for fun, see if you can find a cyclist group and hang out with other cyclists.

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Dating websites exploded in popularity, because people want the social experience without the work. But the truth is, QUALITY social interactions always require effort. And that effort is a lot easier if it’s a topic or hobby you legitimately enjoy.

Dating websites remove the hobby aspect and replace it with cosmetic appearance. Where the hobby is “how good can I look?” If looking good isn’t your hobby, then dating websites are rough.

If you don’t have hobbies — get some.

vcreativ · 2022-07-24T19:01:36+00:00

Real-world rules, there's no way around it in my mind. You'll know if you're attracted, you'll have a good take on if they're attracted. You'll know if you can hold a conversation. Plenty of non-verbal comms going on, including smell.

Online dating is a bit of a mixed bag, and quite heavily skewed. Some people can make it work, but it allows cheating on their profile on their pictures, and it's not an immediate in person meet. You're assuming there's a sensibly working algorithm in the background (that might be working against you).

I think aim at real life first if at all possible, but online dating can be an additional aspect of finding people. That's really all it is, a database of people looking for something.

I'd also give myself an honest emotional stability check before venturing out into online dating world. Contrary to popular belief, it's by no means "rejection-free". It's pretty easy to multiply any rejection experiences by about a hundred. That can do a real number on your self-esteem.

My advice, if indeed queried for, do as much rl as you reasonably can, try out online dating next to that, allow for enough time for it to work, but always monitor how you're doing during.

SweelFor- · 2022-07-24T15:18:28+00:00

If you are asking if dating apps increase your odds of finding dates then obviously yes.

If you are asking if you HAVE to use them then no

lilycamilly · 2022-07-24T13:23:13+00:00

Why are you swiping right on people who you aren't attracted to? Also, how overweight are we talking here, and how in-shape are you in comparison?

NGL I have little sympathy for the "I'm so lonely and want to find love... but no fat chicks" thing. Admittedly, I'm a bit of a chubby chaser myself, so my opinion is biased. Morbidly obese is one thing, like 300+ pounds, but if you find yourself in connection with a pretty but chubby woman, I'd highly recommend you go with the flow and give her a shot. You might find yourself smitten with her when you get to know her.

CastinDeviousStares · 2022-07-24T13:21:30+00:00

There are many other ways to meet people. Many locations have another site called Meetup where you can find groups in your area that do a particular hobby that you're also into, or thinking about (like table top gaming or paint ball). When you go to these meetups, you have an increased chance of being able to meet others organically but also someone who might enjoy the same things you do. Dating apps can make it easier, but it can also blind you to the plethora of other ways you can meet people.

One example to help: I practice Stoicism and have for nearly a decade. While the Covid stuff has prevented me from doing it for too many years, I normally enjoy traveling and going to the different locations when certain Stoicism groups have conventions, like around the US and Canada. This has helped me gain better friendships (and possible relationships, if it goes to that) where I'm around people who enjoy similar things, travel around to see new locations I may want to move to, meet cool people, etc.

Shot-Cellist9635 · 2022-07-26T10:28:23+00:00

Hello, I'd like to share my opinion that I think might be new. I'm married. All my friends, myself included have never used dating apps. we met our spouses at events; meetups, church, volunteering, hobbies, etc. There are many women out there who try to make themselves as hidden as possible from "players" for this reason they wont use social media. If you are looking for someone with whom you can build a life you need to search for the girl because there is a good chance she is hidden from the world. If you involve yourself in lots of hobbies, you will meet her and you will already have a common interest.

xo

Title	Online dating
Author	gorram85
Upvotes	5
Comments	13
Date	July 24, 2022 12:46 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/w6uudf/online_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/online-dating.1125025 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125025

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