[AskReddit] Men of reddit who have been raped by a women, what's your story?

ConsiderationSea1347 · 2022-07-28T23:39:00+00:00

I lost my virginity to rape. I was dating an older girl when I was about 16. I was pretty small, she was larger. A month or two into the relationship we were making out, she climbed on top of me. I was into it, consent was alright at that point, I never said yes but I didn’t say no up to that point. But then she slid me into her and I remember a scorching, sharp pain. I’m uncircumcised and did not realize that my foreskin was so tight that it was basically like popping a cherry if it had never been stretched (EDIT: I just realized how fucked up it is that I knew a lot about the hymen but was not prepared for a similar experience with my own body because sex ed never mentioned the male experience). I pushed up on her and told her to stop, but she just kinda playfully pinned me. In her head, I don’t think she ever understood that my struggle and telling her literally the words “no” and “stop” were serious. She finished on me and I just slinked away to the bathroom with my clothes and left. I still have ptsd from it decades later. No therapist has taken me the slightest bit seriously about it and it wrecks me to think about how alone it was to deal with being a victim of sexual assault and not have ANYONE believe me or help me.

AirSailer · 2022-07-28T23:57:28+00:00

Happened to me twice.

First time I was 17 senior year of high school, she was in college. She came home for the Xmas holiday, came over to my house with a bottle of vodka and made me drinks, she didn't drink a drop. She purposely got me hammered, then she started messing around with me, and when she took my pants off I told her I didn't want to have sex (I was a virgin) and then I passed out, I woke up to her giving me oral then I was in and out of consciousness. I remember her telling me that I needed to wake up so I'll stay hard, she was frustrated that I kept losing my erection. Eventually I totally passed out, I woke up later and she was mad, apparently I didn't finish and she was offended that I couldn't finish. Years later I found out she did the exact same thing to a friend of mine.

Second time was when I was in college, I was partying with an ex girlfriend at her brothers house. He and his cousin were there. They went I bed, I went to sleep on the couch, she wanted to have sex and literally forced my pants off, I kept tell her to stop but she didn't. She eventually told me she would tell her brother I tried to rape her if I didn't have sex, so I basically laid there with my pants halfway down my thighs while she had sex on top of me. Of course I didn't finish. I left immediately afterwards and walked 5 miles at 3am to get home.

Dorkzilla_ftw · 2022-07-28T20:04:10+00:00

It is not very exciting.

My wife was pregnant, and at the end of her pregnancy I didn't wanted to have sex with her. Making love with her was making me uncomfortable because of the idea of the baby in her belly in the same time.

One evening she was really insisting. I said her no multiple times. The morning I always have erection, 1 or two hour before I naturally wake up.

I waked up the morning after and she was already on my penis. I was really mad a her.

Bigtitsandbeer · 2022-07-29T03:10:18+00:00

Not as dramatic as some the others but… Ex came home drunk one night i told her no multiple times but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Took my hand and led me to the bedroom. What am I going to do hit my wife, I didn’t know what to do? I told her no again while in the bed room multiple times. She still forced it. I literally had two lawyers say the same exact thing “the DA won’t accept male rape cases”. It was a known thing the district attorney would not prosecute female sexual assault where I lived in VA.

DeliciousMadame84 · 2022-07-28T21:11:28+00:00

More perpetrators have raped me than I can count. As someone who is genderfluid, I experience the worst of both worlds.

My 3rd grade teacher raped me, then my 5th grade teacher, then a classmate in uni, then a manager at a homeless youth shelter. There's probably more I can't remember off the top of my head.

Several people and non-profits not only denied aid, but went out of their way to spend their time and energy harassing me for being a survivor. It seemed really strange that non-profits that claimed to help victims and survivors instead harassed me or baited and switched me to waste my time.

I spent a whole week just to block every person and number (including from the non-profits). To protect myself from these harassers and potential future rapists, I had to arm myself with a pepper spray and a key with a hidden blade on a lanyard around my neck, a spiked 'anime cat-ears' ring on my hand, and even a hair comb with a hidden blade inside. Due to the severe PTSD from these experiences, I also fell into 5+ years of homelessness, the 'on the streets' kind. No car, no shelter, just pure pavement.

I am now an engineer at a top company in my state. I will finally be starting uni again, for good this time. I will be an online student for now to minimize the exposure to potential rapists. I am an honors freshman majoring in maths and development economics, and after obtaining reparations equal to the calculated damages that society has caused, I will be starting evidence-based programs that will help people like me. I will be using rigorous statistics and randomized controlled trials, much like those used by the 2019 nobel laureates at MIT's JPAL research center to reduce poverty.

All of my rapists were cis women. I have been harassed whenever people found out who my rapists were, and the conversations often shift away from my victimhood and experiences to using the narrative to doubt my experiences. I wouldn't be surprised if this comment gets dogpiled, since I'm so used to people dogpiling and witch (wizard?) hunting male victims and survivors. I don't give a damn if some online strangers want to slam their keyboards and flood my comment with hateful replies.

Thank you for reading my story. I didn't realized how much I needed to come out with this. I am proud to be a male survivor.

For those who are like me, one resource I've found helpful was these evidence-based mental health practices that you can do alone in your spare time. If I hadn't stumbled upon this hidden gem, I'd probably be dead. You can do this, too. It might take weeks, months, or even years, but you'll cross the finish line eventually. It's only a matter of when.

EDIT: This post/comment originally contained evidence-based resources that primarily help victims and survivors.

You can still access them at the following subreddit:

r/SafeSurvivors: https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/SafeSurvivors

MGTOW_and_Bitcoin · 2022-07-29T03:14:23+00:00

We both got drunk laid down together I woke up to her riding me I pushed her off nicely went downstairs cleaned up and went to bed on the couch we parted our ways the next day.

But it never affected me one day... but I was clearly raped.

le_flapjack · 2022-07-29T09:28:33+00:00

I went to a party and got very drunk. I blacked out after a bit. When I came to I was on a couch with my pants down with a girl trying very hard to give me head. Apparently I had thrown up on her when she got on her knees to attempt giving me head earlier, but she was so desperate for it she cleaned herself off and went back at it again on the couch.

I looked at her then stood up and got dressed to leave. My friends all let this happen to me thinking it was funny and that I'd want it. They were in the other room giggling.

trashtony69 · 2022-07-29T07:30:42+00:00

My ex-girlfriend (if you’d even call her that) would physically abuse me to the point where I’d sustain black eyes and cut lips on at least four occasions, blackmail with the threat of sending my nudes to my family, emotionally manipulate among other forms of coercion to rape me- it’s taken me a long time to accept the fact that it was rape due to the way society treats female on male rape. She did it countless times and it fucked me up. I never retaliated because I knew how the story could be shifted to make me the guilty one, so I put up with it until I found the strength to leave and now I’m seeking therapy for it, it almost killed me and my sex drive is messed up. She even bit my dick so hard it bled and I never even raised my voice. I was also coerced into sex by two women who were much much older than me at the time. Big regrets now because it’s not something a rationally thinking adult would have wanted for a young boy. I’ve also had girls force me to do shit when I was drunk and they were sober. Women do it too, all the time. Nobody cares though. Don’t ever tell me men can’t be raped because of a power dynamic. There can be a power dynamic on both ends and in the case where the woman is the perpetrator it’s usually the fact that she will be believed over him always and he doesn’t have a choice.

nacho-chonky · 2022-07-29T17:37:06+00:00

Not me but a close friend of mine told me his story, he was camping with his girlfriend and he drank too much got really tired and wanted to go to sleep, she kept hopping on him and trying to have sex but he kept pushing her off and giving a definitive NO, this happened over and over for hours throughout the night until he was so tired he just gave in and let her ride him so he can go to sleep. The next morning he was tired and angry and she was asking him why he was so angry. He told her that it was because she raped him last night and she replied by getting angry and upset at him that he would say such a thing.

shit-zen-giggles · 2022-07-29T02:27:55+00:00

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BigLucious666 · 2022-08-23T15:25:07+00:00

Was on a sports team representing the USA when I was 13. Our team went to see the Men’s team play an international match (in the US). Even though I was 13, back home I played for the U18 team for my city, and a teammate of mine from my city team (18 or 19 years old) happened to go to the Men’s international match with his girlfriend and his girlfriend’s older sister (23 years old). Ran into them at the stadium, hung out for a bit and explored the city with them. They were able to get some alcohol (I had never drank before and the fact I was there with my team didn’t entice me to try anything crazy at 13). Older sister of the girlfriend more or less peer pressured me into drinking (hard to say no when you’re 13 and still figuring out how to fit in). One thing led to another and I was drunk in a city I didn’t know, at a time when smart phones didn’t exist. Went back to their hotel, ended up getting pretty drunk, and the older sister more or less took advantage of the situation and came on to me, I didn’t know how to say no/wasn’t in the mental state to. Haven’t spoken to any of them or seen any of them since. In the older sister’s defense, I didn’t look like a 13 year old and I’m not sure if my age was ever exactly brought up, however I definitely didn’t look 18. Didn’t know how to feel about it at the time since every guy at that age was starting to think about that stuff, but hindsight 20/20 it definitely made me more of a “fuck boy” throughout my teens and college years, after some therapy I think it gave me the mindset that to make a girl happy is to please her physically. I’m almost 27 now and have almost been able to get myself to treat women with more emotional respect, and think with the right head.

Routine_Jicama604 · 2023-02-10T13:23:41+00:00

I am a guy (24)

I was forced to have sex and molested many times by 2 different women in my whole life at different times. First, it was the house care taker when i was 11. She took my virginity. She began by inappropriate touching and then things escalated to her forcing herself on me. She around 23 at the time and way bigger than i was by then. The sex was penetrative Vag sex and forced oral. She forced herself on me a total of 3 times to a point that i stopped resisting and just gave in to her demands whenever she wanted to use me for sex. There is nothing much i would have done to stop the assault from Happening because she was stronger and bigger than i was. Every time i said no, she would hit me so hard and force me into submission. The pain was really much for me to bear that i wanted to run away from home but couldn't go anywhere. I didn't like any part of it and i would complain of discomfort around my genitals. They hurt due to the abuse. The whole abuse went for a span of 2 years. I didn't tell anyone, not even my parents know. Those are my worst 2 years of my whole life.

The second abuser was my girlfriend when i was 19. She was 22 at the time. She really wanted us to get intimate but i was avoiding her due to past trauma. One day when she invites me over to her place, she tried to get me started but i said no. She then got physical and started hitting me while she called me a cheater because i didn't want to sleep with her. She thought i was seeing another girl yet it wasn't the case. I didn't tell her that i was previously abused, i just kept it as my secret. As i tried to leave, she got infront of me, blocked the door and threatened to shout that i was raping her. She looked determined to get what she wanted. I was really afraid of attracting any attention, so i had to let it happen. She got me on her bed and got on top me, got me hard then it happened bareback till i had an orgasm. I couldn't resist or fight back till she was done with me. She raped me. Afterwards, I felt dirty, used and hated myself even more. I didn't expect her to do such a thing to me. I remember locking myself in her bathroom and cried for almost an hour. What had happened to me broke me even more. It was too much for me to bear. I had to cry to let out the pain.

When i left her place, i just went straight home and locked myself in my room for days. The day she raped me is the day i cut her off despite her trying to reach out to me. To this day, i just don't want anything to do with women. I just get so uncomfortable when i am left all on my own with girls bigger than me or many in number What hurts me most is that the world never believes male rape victims. They say that we liked it because we got hard, shit is fucked up. Just because you got aroused and an orgasm doesnt mean that you liked it. Rape can mess anyone up so bad. I don't I wish it on anyone. Rape has messed me up so bad. I wanna be normal again. Its eating me up.

shit-zen-giggles · 2022-09-08T05:19:56+00:00

This happened from when I was 9 - 13. (I'm 14 now) I would be constantly drugged and end up going unconsious because of it and getting raped. When I was 12 - 13 I was no longer being drugged and was being straight up raped. My rapist was my biological mother. I now have PTSD from it fuck you mom.

Edit: It was at least once every 2 weeks.

shit-zen-giggles · 2022-10-06T04:38:11+00:00

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urmom7605 · 2022-07-29T14:15:32+00:00

Watch this, it's a very inspiring story of rape. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ex7bjWXmK3M

Appropriate-Ad9734 · 2022-08-06T20:48:20+00:00

Title	[AskReddit] Men of reddit who have been raped by a women, what's your story?
Author	shit-zen-giggles
Upvotes	75
Comments	59
Date	July 28, 2022 6:26 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wahaup/askreddit_men_of_reddit_who_have_been_raped_by_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/askreddit-men-of-reddit-who-have-been-raped-by-a.1125349 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125349

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