What advice would you have for someone who is in love with a guy that is in a relationship?

Jessicacaitlin · 2022-07-28T08:24:35+00:00

Girl… come on. there’s plenty of single men on earth that you could potentially fall in love with and vice versa. I get you’re in love with somebody who’s taken but why don’t you respect yourself and other people’s relationships? This kind of thinking displays very low morals. Why do you want that for yourself? And plus, even if you were to “get” him, he could very well do the same to you and leave you for another girl. No, competition shouldn’t exist. You should not compete for the man you want. Leave this man alone, and the girl alone. Why would you want to do that to another girl and potentially cause heartbreak for somebody else?

LadySandcastle · 2022-07-28T10:47:41+00:00

If a man is swayed so easily from a woman he was supposedly committed to, he will just treat you the same.

Respectful men also don't find women who try to steal them as classy. They think it's trashy.

pieorstrudel5 · 2022-07-28T11:47:08+00:00

I would tell that person to leave him alone and go join a gym and lift weights. Lots of cute guys in the weight room.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-07-28T13:08:54+00:00

Back off, leave him alone.

ladida1321 · 2022-07-28T14:29:44+00:00

It’s not a good look. It comes off as pathetic and desperate. Girls who do this have no respect for other women or themselves. You should consider working on lifting others up instead of viewing other women as competitors.

Wait until he’s single or find someone else to spend your attention on.

Remember- what goes around comes around, so consider your choices. How would you want to be treated?

A_Damsel_In_A_Dress · 2022-07-28T15:05:33+00:00

What's the best case scenario here? He drops her for you and then you know he's fickle?

However, aren't I supposed to compete for the man that I want?

You compete for available men, not taken ones.

sunglasses90 · 2022-07-28T11:34:24+00:00

You can try, but he obviously is dating the other girl for a reason. All is fair in love and war, but you definitely want to be careful of your reputation. I wouldn’t make it obvious you’re trying to do what you’re doing.

HoMcShmoe · 2022-07-28T08:59:12+00:00

Hey Beneficial Tangelo

the way I see it there is nothing wrong with courting someone who already is in a relationship. After all the man is free to choose whom he desires most. Only when you start having sexual relations with the other person while he is still in a committed relationship you enter morally disputable territory.

But getting him to choose you over the girl he's with is very difficult. The way I see it there isn't much a woman can do to make a man pursue them at all, as your wish and fantasy as a woman is that he pursues you and makes all first moves. Also I'm positive that you, as most women (and men) do are not willing to tolerate the potential rejection you face when you make a serious move, like asking the guy out on a serious date. Hence, all you can do is give indicators that your availble. This is especially true in your situation because for you as the outsider trying to intervene the social repercussions are much more severe.

You should also honestly ask yourself if your a better match for him. For men this firstly means: Are you equally hot as or even better looking than the woman he's in a relationship with right now? If the answer is a resounding no, your chances of getting him are extremely low. The hotter you are than her the better your chances.

Also think about how it would even go down if you were able to sway him. You probably couldn't convince him to get to leave her for you if you didn't already have sex with him. No way someone leaves their girlfriend on the off chance that he might get serious with another one. This in turn brings you in a moral dilemma, as stated above and leaves you in a vulnerable situation: With a guy already committed your much more likely to end up as side pussy and feel bitter and resentful in the end.

Lastly you might consider that your not that much into him. Guys with girlfriends are more attractive because they demonstrate preselection and especially women like what they can't have. He might lose that allure when you're exclusive.

Conclusion/tldr:

Theres not much you can (or probably are willing to do to win a guy over), especially one who's already in a relationship, theres pragmatic and moral rationale for why you shouldn't and don't even think about it if your not as hot or hotter than the other girl. And think about if you even really like him.

Travel_Amazing · 2022-07-28T17:45:59+00:00

How would you like it if you actually got him and some other girl tried to do the same to you ? Lmaooo

sailorcrystal · 2022-07-28T21:24:52+00:00

Girl, you have a post saying you were engaged to a man for the better half of your 20s and he cheated on you; you have another post claiming that your bf of only one year hated basically everything about you and you left him. Now you’re coming on mere weeks later claiming you’re into a taken man.

What you need is to seek some professional help, get yourself healthy, focus on some positive hobbies to develop yourself, then worry about trying to meet a healthy, single man. They exist; I’m also in CA and my bf is almost 40 and a very good man. We’ve both met later in life. It isn’t too late. You’ve mentioned being religious and conservative - work on yourself and trust in God’s timing.

Title	What advice would you have for someone who is in love with a guy that is in a relationship?
Author	Beneficial_Tangelo41
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	July 28, 2022 7:14 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/wa2yqx/what_advice_would_you_have_for_someone_who_is_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-advice-would-you-have-for-someone-who-is-in.1125418 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125418

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