How do you ladies prefer to pace it, and what pace/timeline do you think was most beneficial to your relationships?

I [20F] thought to ask this question because I was just considering how far I want to go on an upcoming first date. My concern is that I’ll be too guarded and my date will think I’m frigid, prudish, or not physically attracted to him— and the first two might very well apply. My excessive hesitation to share even the tamest kiss with someone stems from the fact that this would be my first kiss and I probably attach too much meaning to it. I would be disappointed if we kissed only for him to decide next week that he’s not that into me and this thing isn’t going anywhere. Ideally it wouldn’t happen until we’re an official couple or close to it, although that has to be asking for too much. And if I’m this deliberate about a single kiss then pre-commitment sex is out of the question! But am I being too uptight about this?

Of course I may feel differently once we’re actually on the date and maybe by the end a kiss will be appropriate— still, it’s still nice to have some guidelines for myself going in.