My (23F) fiance (31M) is a great guy. Kind, caring, a high value man. Hes truly shown that he will be a great partner. I can see us living a good life together. We match on most values. He told me he loved me 2 weeks after we met. It took me a while to develop feelings for him and even now I wonder if mine are as strong as his. Hes been courting me since day 1 and has made it known he was in it for the long run from the beginning.

I didnt think it was going to go anywhere when I first met him. I used to think that all I wanted was to get married and settle down and have kids. And I do. I dream of the days when we have our own home together and little kids running around. But I also know that marriage is difficult and takes a lot of effort. Like I said I didnt think this was going to go anywhere and I wasnt planning on getting married anytime soon. I thought it would at least be a couple more years. Im in graduate school so life has been very stressful and I barely have free time as it is. So when things started going well and progressed I found myself feeling anxious because it wasnt something I really prepared for.

I sorta love the way my life is currently. I love my friends. I love how much I get to see my family. Im really close to my family and I get sad thinking about how he is now going to be closest to me instead of them. I think this idea of growing up and starting my own family is terrifying. I sometimes cry thinking about the fact that my family wont be my #1 anymore. Im scared that when we do get married my life will change drastically. I think a part of it is because I am the first out of my friend group to get engaged. Nobody is even in a relationship and I just feel like Im going to lose my friends once I enter the married life. Its not like we have couple friends who we can hang out with together. Or that I wont be able to see my family as often. Or that now I have to take his family into consideration.

My fiance is also not the type of person I always imagined marrying. I thought I would marry a traditional man who values the traditional roles of marriage. I have told my fiance that I want to be a SAHM eventually and he knows this side of me and accepts and supports it. Still hes more modern than I envisioned the person I would be marrying. He also doesnt speak my native language as well as me which was something super important to me because I want to raise my children speaking it. So sometimes I feel a little turned off by these aspects because I associate them with manliness. But theyre such tiny things in the long run.

Im afraid of getting married simply because I just did not expect it at this point of my life. Like I said, my fiance is great and I truly love him but a part of me is scared. Is it normal to feel this way? Any advice on how to transition into this new stage of life?