Friends are good for us … so why do many men have none at all?

shit-zen-giggles · 2022-10-31T05:59:38+00:00

unwillingly the author dropped a truth bomb there:

He was largely content with her taking the social lead, although “a little bit resentful that if I ever suggested someone who wasn’t in that circle, it kind of never happened”.

Yet, the fact that men (have to) do most of the earning and thus don't have time for socializing and organizing is blamed on men themselves as per the usual:

Wilson-Smith attributes male social passivity to a lack of emotional engagement and a preoccupation with other aspects of life, like work, money and sport.

To be clear: I don't mean to imply that men bear no responsibility for this state of affairs or have no personal capability to change it, what I try to convey is the opposite: That they are not the sole culprit who brought about and sustains this state of affairs (no pun intended).

Ok-Translator2294 · 2022-10-31T07:30:58+00:00

Most men cut ties with their friends once in a relationship. I've seen this happen too many time, their girlfriends either do not approve of us, or take offence if told the things we used to do together.

A friends wife once took offence because we just mentioned that we used to call eachother names back in school. Stormed out of the party, stopped him from meeting us again.

Another friend's girlfriend would always tag along with him on boy's night out and then get offended because of our jokes (mostly self-depreciating) or because we burped. This however did not stop her from coming again next time. We stopped inviting him after a while.

There are countless instances of this happening. If you are not too busy with work and kids, you have a partner who wouldn't let you go see the friends she doesn't approve of.

Post divorce/breakup most guys come back to us.

Dr_RxRedpill · 2022-10-31T08:22:16+00:00

Male alienation is a legitimate problem.

If anyone needs to talk - our DMs are open. As activists - our goal is to support men.

delocalelectron · 2022-10-31T10:21:23+00:00

The first thing a woman will do, on marriage or commitment to a long term relationship, is discourage your friends from coming round. Those friends are an open door to a time when having kids and a tracker mortgage weren't top of your priority list.

Riptionator · 2022-10-31T23:29:24+00:00

Men give up their friends for women and it needs to stop. You can have both. If your SO says no, break up with her.

_BlueShark87 · 2022-10-31T11:31:40+00:00

Well in most relationships the women immediately gets rid of your friends and that’s when you choose between them or the women. Guess what the majority of men choose? Women. After they lose their friends they are discouraged from making new ones and stay in a rut of work and sleep.

Ok_Can7267 · 2022-10-31T12:07:48+00:00

One of the reasons is also a psychological condition called Alexithymia almost all men suffer from due to their upbringing in which the boys' emotions are shut down and repressed whereas the girls are given the free space to explore the wide range of their emotions. Check out this video, it's a good watch! Here

2022-10-31T13:09:04+00:00

Men are constantly bombarded with responsibilities and overwhelming societal pressures. Between my two jobs and kids, I often find solace when using the washroom as it's the only time I'm left alone! For anyone just looking for someone to talk to feel free to DM me.. Times are tough brothers!

IanHawkess · 2022-10-31T14:01:32+00:00

We did things in a different way to women. We had male-only spaces. We were allowed to ‘be’ in a different way.

They systemically set about destroying them. And now we have virtually no spaces where we can go, away from women. Women kept their spaces, both formal and informal. It’s hard to think of a better illustration of the double standard.

PirateDocBrown · 2022-10-31T16:47:57+00:00

Men also need men friends. Swing hammers on projects, sip whiskey by a fire, smoke cigars on porches, go fishing, microbreweries.

MrHoonigan802 · 2022-10-31T15:45:45+00:00

Because they are pussy whipped OR are a loser nobody wants around the ones they care for is what I've noticed ( man whore who hits on friends gf/wives, alcoholic, druggie etc)

Frequent-throwAway · 2022-10-31T19:24:59+00:00

👋 I'm always looking for buddies. But married guys are too tied up usually. And kids complicate it more to a degree.

I personally feel socially awkward in general, so making male friends is hard. Our culture in USA is so homophobic about anything. I get more ass than a public toilet, but I'm not afraid to hug my best buds. Because usually I dont see my best buds often, so a hug is definitely called for!

Someday I will have a couple more friends. Someday.....maybe....

crz8956 · 2022-11-01T09:13:16+00:00

Because inflation, consumerism and growing prices leave kinda not enough time to truly socialize with somebody.

Pretend-Row4794 · 2022-11-02T09:50:32+00:00

Men. Be friends…with eachother. Both my parents work and I’d say they have an equal amount of “friends” aka people they went to college with or know through work. I don’t get how adults don’t have friends, I work and have a pretty large friend group.

Title	Friends are good for us … so why do many men have none at all?
Author	NeoNotNeo
Upvotes	55
Comments	43
Date	October 31, 2022 3:56 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/yi026v/friends_are_good_for_us_so_why_do_many_men_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/friends-are-good-for-us-so-why-do-many-men-have.1137622 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137622

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