I learned about this place four years ago, made huge progress retraining myself out of massively wrong beliefs I held. It is a long story I will spare you guys. I backslid when I lost my gym during Covid, but hammering it hard now. Are you guys interested in taking shots at the "new guy" who is about to blow up a 19 year marriage? It might be entertaining, because I at least have the MRP basic foundation laid. I am still a retard sometimes.

To answer McGill, about me being afraid? You bet your ass I feel apprehension about where I am at right now. I like where I live, almost all of my life is awesome. I have a lot to lose. Deciding to be with another woman is going to come at a very high price. Deciding to stay faithful for the rest of my life with a woman who I find unpleasant to be around, and isn't getting in line, is looking like a higher price. I feel dread about where I am headed. To me dread is the feeling I get when it is leg day, and I'm tired and don't feel like doing squats. I still make myself go to the gym on those days.