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Boys need to talk more about feelings and fight inequality, report says

Kagedeah

November 8, 2022
15 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/nov/08/boys-need-to-talk-more-about-feelings-and-fight-inequality-report-says
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Post Information
Title Boys need to talk more about feelings and fight inequality, report says
Author

Kagedeah

Upvotes 15
Comments 22
Date November 8, 2022 9:19 PM UTC
(3 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ypyus5/boys_need_to_talk_more_about_feelings_and_fight/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/boys-need-to-talk-more-about-feelings-and-fight.1144625
https://theredarchive.com/post/1144625
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Comments

[–]reverbiscrap 21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

'Boys need to be healthier so women can benefit!'

Y'know, that black therapist on tiktok got canceled for saying the same thing. It is dehumanizing and disrespectful.

[+]Emotional-Drag2856 -20 points-19 points-18 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

“From sexual harassment and gender-based violence, to the gender pay gap and relationship breakdown, the attitudes and behaviour of boys and men are hugely influential.” Did you even read the article? Considering that when men are taught inappropriate/violent ways to express emotions whether they be anger, sadness, etc. it tends to hurt other men and women, yeah the way they’re raised is a big influential factor. How else would we develop poor coping skills and communication? I was taught that masculinity involves emotional regulation, confidence, and security. I don’t understand how teaching young boys to emote like human beings safely is a bad thing unless you equate being a man with having poor emotional intelligence? God forbid women want to be safe around us. It’s not about convenience, it’s about safety and developing healthy relationships so that the future generation won’t go through the culture shock we are right now. Now will being safe also be a convenience for women? Yes. You having a problem with that is a weird concept.

[–]reverbiscrap 17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Considering that when men are taught inappropriate/violent ways to express emotions

I hear this a lot, but that hasn't been my experience, nor the broad experience of the men I know, unless they had no father in the home.

teaching young boys to emote like WOMEN

That is the actual problem. Male language of emotional expression is not the same as women's, and what you end up doing is turning little boys in to little girls; easier to control, easier to manipulate, less aggressive, less dynamic.

emotional intelligence

Oh, you mean the subsect of business leadership, or the theoretical framework psychologists use to judge whether or not someone is a sociopath? People use that term and do not know what it means. That you use it seriously outs you as someone of poor academic intelligence, a follower of trends, buzzwords, and tiktok.

I'll repeat this for the hard of hearing in the back: CLAIMING TO BE HELPING BOYS FOR WOMENS SAKE AND NOT FOR THE BOYS SAKE IS SHITBAG, SELFISH, SOLIPSISTIC BEHAVIOR, and you are a trash human being for doing so.

[+]Emotional-Drag2856 -12 points-11 points-10 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

“The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.”

There you go. The literal definition of emotional intelligence. Can you withhold an argument without resorting to logical fallacies ie ad hominem. Attacking my intelligence doesn’t take away from the point. It actually speaks more to your debating skills than anything. Calm down, this is a situation where that emotional intelligence comes in handy. Just because a term is used in specific subsets doesn’t mean it’s not applicable in others. I can sit here and point out narcissistic qualities in someone without diagnosing them as a narcissist.

Emote like women? What? Expressing emotions safely isn’t a trait inherent to women… it’s actually insulting to us as men that you see it that way. We aren’t subhuman.

If your behavior is hurting other people, you should change it, whether it’s for women or men… that’s basic human kindness.

[–]IceCorrect 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If your behavior is hurting other people, you should change it

If women call men creep when they just try to small talk with them it can hurt him and guess what, no one gives a crap about this. So there is no need for men to change their behaviour if only them are expected to "level up"

We aren’t subhuman.

Thats why we cant teach boys to act like a girls like they way of handling emotions are only corect one.

[–]Nobleone11 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Did you even read the article? Considering that when men are taught inappropriate/violent ways to express emotions whether they be anger, sadness, etc. it tends to hurt other men and women,

And what of girls violence and harm towards boys? Women towards men?

Why does it have to always fall on men and boys to fight sexism when girls and women can get away with the worst of what men and boys are capable of?

Maybe we should start demanding a long, hard look at the evils that girls and women are capable of. At some point.

[–]reverbiscrap 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Won't happen for years.

[+]Emotional-Drag2856 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Women should definitely be held accountable. I don’t put up with shit like that, idgaf if you’re a woman or a man. With that being said, we can’t ignore the blatant statistics of DV and not only that, but DV that ends in the death of a partner. Even the way women are taught that a man putting his hands on them (boy pulling a girls hair in class) means he has feelings for them and simply has no other way to express them. That’s one of many examples that shows the change needed in how we raise our boys. A lot more violence is expected and tolerated from our culture for men than women. I’m not speaking of anecdotal evidence either, these are just facts.

I will ask a genuine question. Why do you think women are punished less severely by the court of law? Why do you think it’s seen as okay by many for women to put their hands on us?

[–]antifeminist3 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

'it’s about safety...'

You conflate men being dangerous with men 'not talking'. Typical misandry. All your points are from a very selfish feminist attitude. Men do not deserve anything, unless it helps women. That's why you were voted down. You insist on ignoring men, unless you want to control men to your benefit--in this case 'men talking'.

No one is saying men shouldn't talking about themselves, which is what you are disingenuously saying.

You are not listening. You are doing exactly what you feminists claim men do not do.

[+]Emotional-Drag2856 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol I’m a man and I don’t consider myself a feminist, I just have common sense. I’m not conflating men with being dangerous, I’m explaining why it’s important to have healthy ways to express emotion. Specficially, men who don’t learn how to communicate effectively either suffer from depression (a good reason for us to process our emotions) or lash out and hurt other people who are often times women. If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it.

You are the one being disingenuous by putting words in my mouth. I never said men don’t deserve better. I did point out that there’s nothing wrong with it also helping women and that women have a good reason to want change. I don’t understand that logic. It’s like some of us would rather suffer than feel better if it also makes things better for women… like do y’all even like women?

[–]DistantNative95 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

“So, we need to raise a generation of boys who are able to build and sustain healthy, respectful, caring relationships with people of all genders, and not be influenced by restrictive gender stereotypes.”

I’m sorry but is it not hypocrite females who are the ones who are obsessed with restrictive gender stereotypes? All of this just to make some bitch more content with herself. I’m sorry but shit like this almost makes me a proud misogynist. I am really starting to have a general dislike of all women and I’m gay. I’m taking the initiative to reduce all female involvement in my life

[–]NeonFizzyXD13 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Feminist not women.

[–]DistantNative95 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree that Feminist are the main problem however women are historically notorious for keeping silent in order to benefit, especially at the expense of men, which is what a lot of non-feminist women are doing

[–]StripedFalafel 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Normal feminist ideology inclluding the optional hate speech

[–]AndyBrown65 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Céline Bonnaire, executive director of the Kering Foundation, said: “In order to effectively combat violence against women and girls, it is essential to address the origins of this violence.

The origins of violence (against anyone) is an inability to effectively negotiate and an inability to effectively resolve conflict.

Teach children (boys and girls) skills in effective negotiation and conflict resolution and you are onto a winner.

[–]CawlinAlcarz 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Heh, this is a WWT piece here... aimed at emsasculating men and normalizing cuckoldry.

[–]adieucolette -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

In what way is it "emasculating" to have boys/men who are able and feel welcome to share their feelings?

[–]LSX81 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Because sharing feelings won't change anything. Men don't try put a square in a triangle hole and cry about it because sharing your frustration doesn't change anything instead they make the hole into a square or find a fucking triangle.

[–]adieucolette 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What about mental health? Expressing emotions brings a lot of benefits actually.

And it's ok for men to express one emotion: anger. And guess what sex is the most violent? Guess what sex are most criminals? Displays of anger and violence results just in job loss, relationships breakdown and criminal conviction.

The suicide rate among males is also way higher than the female one. Why a males more vulnerable to suicide? Oh well maybe that's to look in the fact that males are not welcome to express sadness, anxiety, and any other nagative feeling.

[–]LS6789 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not even going to bother reading it as it's sadly predictable, (especially as it's a Guardian piece): There is a problem! Something must be done! Men must: open up, be less toxic, and fight for female equality!

[–]griii2 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

emotion-splaining

[–]GrandSwamperMan 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

“Boys need to talk more about feelings so women can use those feelings against them later”

Fix’d.

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