Disorders and divorce?

644pacf · 2022-12-29T04:05:30+00:00

I was the husband with adhd. It absolutely destroyed my wife's affection for me. So I understand it from the other side.

I got diagnosed right before she filed for divorce. My medication and therapy totally changed my life for the better, even with the divorce.

Please don't consider divorce until you've had the talk with her. Tell her that you cannot live like this anymore and that therapy and medication is a must.

I got lucky with my medication (Vyvanse). It worked for me immediately. See if she would be willing to try a different med (Adderall can cause extreme comedowns).

Don't just file. Have the difficult conversion. Give her a chance, and heal past resentments. I got better very quickly and it didn't matter to my ex. People with adhd can live very healthy lives if it's managed. Please give her another chance.

BosPatriot71 · 2022-12-28T22:13:53+00:00

Similar. Her only recently diagnosed anxiety, depression and PTSD (from childhood trauma) killed ours.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2022-12-28T22:14:46+00:00

Modern Western society has no proper way of dealing with crazy loved ones - unless they “want” help which is an oxymoron . So with the best motivation , assets and effort there’s no way of getting someone help who believes they’re fine .. all you can try is your best while the person goes bonkers looses jobs , declines till eventually once they killed everything they worked for they inevitably come for you (and Corona was a once in a live time event for this) if you’re unlucky with police , flying relative monkeys , etc . Best you can do is save what you have / limit the fallout but the drama heartache police circus court show temporary homelessness is Epic . But even if you win your Time Effort and Love all go in the drain apart from Experience and Persistence gained. Greetings from my Cave of Solitude sending Hugs !

Bradicus1581 · 2022-12-29T04:58:47+00:00

Could you elaborate on how it showed up in her?.I'm curious if my STBXW has it as well..she has anxiety and depression. And my daughter was just diagnosed with ADHD. I may have jt too but I've heard it presents different in women.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-12-29T12:55:03+00:00

Her ADHD won't be used against her in the divorce. It'll be chalked up to "irreconcilable differences" (aka no-fault divorce).

Zardozki · 2022-12-28T22:47:01+00:00

I have far less experience in years married than you (together 7 years total) so take mine fwiw. My ex was adhd and dyslexic, I am neither. It absolutely destroyed my love for her and I failed to communicate with her whatsoever. I’ve never had so much difficulty trying to communicate with another human. Her responses to seemingly everything were to me, upside down. I shouldn’t have entered into a relationship with her in the first place, and I feel like I wasted my time and hers trying to convince myself it would ever work.

We’re divorced now, but I’ve learned where I contributed to the failures in our marriage and how to not repeat those in the future. One of the things I won’t do again is even date someone that is add/adhd. No condemnation, I’ve just discovered that I’m not able to communicate effectively and I’m not a match for those people. Feel free to respond or dm me, this theme was a source of real pain and frustration for me over the last 7 years.

Title	Disorders and divorce?
Author	Zapped2311
Upvotes	10
Comments	22
Date	December 28, 2022 9:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/zxm2ta/disorders_and_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/disorders-and-divorce.1145425 https://theredarchive.com/post/1145425

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