Update / Followup to this thread : (https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/739tuj/going_out_solo_tonight/)
Last night I went out clubbing alone. None of my friends wanted to go out, but not wanting to stay inside and watch netflix again, I decided I was going to go out and have fun regardless of who I was with. Honestly i'm glad I did because I had one of the best nights of my life.
Leading up to the time that I would actually be leaving, I began to have second thoughts. Everyone told me I shouldn't be going out alone, they said that it's strange, or that I should just go to some shitty bars that loners go to. I began to rationalize in my mind that I wont have a good time and that I should just stay in and catch up on sleep tonight. As close as I was to just going to bed and not going out... I knew I had to. I looked in the mirror and mentally told myself that I was going to run towards the fear--and that was it. I didn't think. I just said fuck it and left for the club.
As I got in line to enter the club, I started talking to a few guys that were next to me about football and other general guy shit. I told them why I was alone (friends didnt want to go out), and asked them if they could chill with me tonight and they were all cool with it--I actually got their numbers and will probably chill with them again sometime next weekend. When we finally got in, I bought a round of shots for myself and my new group and set my sights on the dance floor.
At this point I wasn't concerned with girls at all. I wasn't worried about closing or spitting some mad game on bar sluts. My main objective for the night was to have as much fun as humanly possible, and to make sure that everyone around me was also having as much fun as they possibly could.
I hit up the dance floor with a wide as fuck smile and beer in my hand and just fucking let loose. I legitimately felt the music (mostly EDM with a few hip hop mixes thrown in) and danced with everyone. I danced with the guidos, I danced with the drunk sorority girls, I even danced with the blatantly gay club boys. I didn't give a single fuck about who anyone was or what they looked like; the only thing that mattered was feeding off each other's energy and having a great time.
Girls eventually noticed the fact that I didn't give a singular fuck and was just having a great time:
I'm a white dude, but i've been able to naturally dance like nothing else my entire life. At one point in the night, a group of black dudes pulled me aside and had me grind in their circle on one of their girls.
Another girl came up asked me if she could get a snap with me. We kissed and danced together afterwards
After last call leaving the club, a girl ran up to me and grabbed onto me and gave me hug. We were both drunk as fuck at this point, but she told me she thought I was amazing. I told her "your face is amazing" and got her number as we were walking out.
Overall, I had a great fucking time. My self-confidence got a huge boost, and I now realize that I don't need a single friend to make shit happen. Confidence and a partying-energy is the only thing I need to have fun.
People want to like you if you offer energy and fun into their life--every time I looked at someone (guy or girl) in the eyes while I was smiling and dancing out on the club's dancefloor, they immediately brightened up and wanted to be apart of that energy.
Everyone is there to have fun. Everyone wants to have as much fun as they possibly can. By simply contributing value in the form of energy and friendliness, guys and girls alike became emotionally invested in me without even having to speak a word. A dude just trying to get laid, on the other hand, offers forth no value. He’s only there to take.
Confidence and energy is all you need. Everything else, including social proof and girls will come naturally—just be focused on having as much fun as you can.
Big thanks to all of you here on /r/AskTRP who offered me advice and pushed me to just grow some balls and go out alone. Never going to second guess going solo ever again.