If you are a man, you probably have been subjected to it throughout your life, I would imagine. I am referring to the societal summons for you to fulfill the obligations of your gender: “step up like a man,” “act like a man,” and a precursor when you were very young, “big boys don’t cry.

themountaingoat · 2013-08-23T00:59:17+00:00

I don't let my emotions control me and don't impose them on other people because I consider it the proper thing to do. We shouldn't be trying to get men to be as entitled as many women are when they think there emotions are the most important thing.

nitramy · 2013-08-22T23:19:24+00:00

"Big boys don't cry."

They apparently haven't heard of Kenshiro.

giegerwasright · 2013-08-22T23:44:20+00:00

A man takes his lumps. A man stands up for himself and for those who don't have the ability to do so for themselves. A man sacrifices his comfort so that others may have comfort. A man might be afraid of conflict, but he sublimates that fear to the necessity to face that conflict anyway. A man doesn't harm those less able or fortunate than himself. A man works for a living. A man sacrifices his life before his honor or his dignity because to live without either is to not live at all.

These are all ideals that I learned brought men to their highest. Internalizing these ideals and making them as much a part of me as the blood in my veins has always served me well. They may have cost me things like social approval or material wealth but they have kept my persona one that I can look in the mirror at and respect. These ideals should not be discarded. When the majority of women start living up to these ideals we can toss out the gendered association of them and start calling them "human" ideals. But they're going to have to actually do the work first.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2013-08-23T15:03:09+00:00

"Big boys don't cry"

I can't believe I haven't looked at this common saying yet.

One of my core arguments is that gender roles are strongly connected to notions of maturity. Sayings like "big boys don't cry" only validate my argument further.

SockBramson · 2013-08-23T15:51:11+00:00

I'm a pretty big guy, not huge or anything (6'0 250). What that means is that in every job I have ever had people just expect me to do the heavy lifting. At my current job there's a girl and we always share a look and a laugh when this happens.

"Hey big guy! Help me move this!"

I'm always very polite and helpful but after so many years it's a bit frustrating. My back is not an endless source of power. Some days it hurts to move all the tables and chairs and kegs and full trash bags.

A few weeks ago the girl I work with made a comment about how lucky I am to be a guy (not having a uterus). That's when we had the conversation about how lucky she is that no one expects her to move stuff. I could see the gears in her brain turning as she processed this. I don't think anyone had ever questioned the view that men are somehow lucky and women always had it rougher. She immediately understood it and ever since we have had this comical understanding.

RegretlessStrike · 2013-08-23T18:09:58+00:00

I cry, I listen to One direction regularly, I would pay half for the dinner on a night out. Am I a sissy/asshole/oppressor? I am?

Good.

Chervenko · 2013-08-23T02:55:04+00:00

My responses to that:

"Then, stay down like a girl."

"Okay, do you want me to act like a disgruntled plumber, a shoddy businessman, or the douchebag who looks at your ass in the gym?"

"Well, you've not seen what theater can do to a man."

fecalreign · 2013-08-23T08:02:41+00:00

Lets not forget: Youre 18 now, you have to sign up for the selective service. As a man, it is required of you by law to do so. No your sisters dont have to, just do it, be a man.

Note: im active duty military but still think the selective service is a crock.

melb22 · 2013-08-23T07:35:21+00:00

Nothing wrong with urging men to act like men. Where we have to be careful is in making sure that the "man up" refrain isn't used to shame men into committing themselves to unworthy causes.

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